Chosen: I think my guardian angel drinks.
Green: Pose as a team because SHIT JUST GOT REAL!
Second: I keep a picture of all of us in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties, I take it out and stare at the picture.
The Gang: Awwww-
Second: And I tell myself "If I can deal with these idiots, then I can deal with anything."
The Gang: Oh.
*out grocery shopping*
Red: *takes a free sample twice*
Red: Robbery and Fraud. I am a Rebel.
Dark: If I can't cause tiny bits of chaos every day, I think my body will shut down.
Blue: Yum, thanks!
Kidnapper: *puts more tape over their mouth* I said stop eating it.
Red: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal, that's where the blood's supposed to be!
Chosen: I would never say that my Dark is a bitch and I don’t don’t like them. That’s not true… Dark is a bitch and I love them.
Blue: Drink your school, stay in drugs, and get 8 hours of drugs.
Green: I'm naturally funny because my life is a joke.
Second: If I stay in bed I'll be warm. If I get in the shower, I'll also be warm. But the distance between the bed and shower? No. That is not warm.
Yellow: Engineer? Yeah, I'm enginEERING MY FUCKIN' LIMIT WITH THESE THREE!
Dark: I have met some of the most insufferable people. But they also met me.
Green: "It's easy to forget what a sin is in the middle of a battlefield."
Yellow: Opposite over hypotenuse.
Green: Dipshit.
Dark: Did you just call me a shrimp asshole? I'm still growing dammit!
Green: Second is not a morning person. Or a night person. There’s really only about seven minutes a day you are fun to be around.
Green: The best part is you never know when they’re coming.
Dark: When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give The Dark Lord lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the person who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
Yellow: Green, why are you still in here?
Green: I'm contemplating what life really means, you know? I'm wondering whether we really have a purpose.
Yellow: ...
Green: ...
Green: Plus, Red glued me to the chair.
Chosen: You're not gonna shoot those kids, are you?
Dark: Yeah, in their faces, why?
Dark: I'm just gonna start killing people.
Dark: Everything else is boring.
Red: What time is it?
Green: I dunno, pass me the clarinet
Red: *hands Green the clarinet*
Green: *starts playing obnoxiously*
Yellow: WHY ARE YOU PLAYING THE CLARINET AT 3AM?
Green: It's 3am
Yellow: I'm the smartest, wisest person of the group
Green: Then why is your hand stuck in a vending machine?
Yellow: I paid for my candy bar, I'm getting my candy bar.
Yellow: Ducks are better than rabbits.
Red: What? Rabbits are adorable. Have you ever been in a fight with a duck? Ducks are jerks.
Blue: Duck is delicious! Rabbit is all gamey.
Red: We’re not talking about flavour, Blue!
Blue: Flavour counts!
Red: Who carries around a duck’s foot for good luck? Anyone?
Second: You wrap yourself in a comforter stuffed with rabbit hair. I’ll wrap myself in a comforter stuffed with duck feathers! Who’s cozier?
Red: Okay, but-
Second: NO, NO, NO, NO. WHO’S COZIER?
Green: Then why don’t we take a rabbit, a duck, stick ‘em in a cardboard box and let them fight it out!
Red: BECAUSE IT’S ILLEGAL, GREEN!
Green: ONLY IF WE BET ON IT, RED!
Yellow: I- Jesus-
*gang is chilling in the house*
*knocking at the door*
Second: Was Purple supposed to come over today?
Green: I don't think so-
*loud boom*
Dark, walking through where the door just was: We're here!
Second: Oh, hi Dark! Hi Chosen and Vic!
Yellow: What happened to the door?
Dark: APRIL FOOLS!
Yellow: BURNING DOWN THE DOOR IS NOT AN APRIL FOOLS JOKE?!
Dark: Technically, the door exploded, much quicker and more efficient.
*later*
Dark: Well, bye you little suckers!
Second: Bye Dark! Sorry the others couldn't see you off
Dark: Nah, it's okay. Come on Chosen, come one Vic let's head out
Second, already ducking behind the couch: NOW GUYS!
Red, Yellow, Green, and Blue: GLITTER ATTACK!
Dark: Wha-
*glitter bombs are thrown*
*The Dark Lord is now covered in glitter*
Chosen, patting Dark on the back: Happy April Fools Day
Dark: Why shouldn't you tell ducks jokes on April Fools Day?
Dark: Because they'll quack up
Dark: How do pirates celebrate April Fools Day?
Dark: They walk the prank
Chosen: Knock knock
Dark: Who's there?
Chosen: Lenny
Dark: Lenny who?
Chosen: Lenny know when you're done with these April Fools Day jokes.
Chosen: It's April Fools Day.
Chosen: Trust no one and nothing.
Chosen: Just like any other day.
Chosen: *gets a text* Oh! It’s Dark.
Second, excitedly: Did they get me the stuff?
Chosen: Yeah, they say they got you the clown costume, the power drill, and 12 gallons of blood.
Second: Wow! Where’d they find 12 gallons of fake blood?
Chosen: Wait, you wanted fake blood?
Second:
Chosen: I’ll go call Dark.
Dark: sSSSHIT- I BURNT MY LIP-
Chosen: ...Why the fuck would you even drink coffee with a METAL STRAW in the FIRST PLACE??
Dark: BECAUSE WE WERE OUT OF THE PLASTIC ONES!
Victim: Is stabbing someone immoral?
Dark: Not if they consent to it.
Chosen: Depends on who your stabbing.
Second: YES??!!?
Second: Are you this rude to everyone?!
Dark: Yup.
Dark: Don't think you're special.