Dark: I’ve only ever said ‘I love you’ to two people in my entire life. Chosen and a guy in a dark club who I mistook for Chosen.
Blue: If I fall…
Yellow: I’ll be there to catch you.
Purple: *looks at Green* What if I fall?
Green: Then I’ll fall with you, never leaving your side.
Dark: *watches these two interactions*
Dark, to Chosen: And if I fall?
Chosen: I’ll be the one who pushed you.
Dark: Hey guys, I found a spider. Cool little lad. Thanks for eating the mosquitos.
Dark: Oh no, where did it go?
Chosen: DARK WHAT THE FUCK?!
Blue: Yellow, you’re such a genius!
Yellow: Yes, I know.
Dark: Here's a fun christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to fight whoever's under it.
Chosen: Dark no
Second: Mistlefoe!
Chosen: Please don't encourage him
Dark: I’m a reverse necromancer.
Second: Isn’t that just killing people?
Dark: Ah, technically.
Dark: Goodnight to the love of my life, Chosen, and fuck the rest of y'all.
Red: Why is Blue making me do the dishes again? You haven’t washed them in a week, Yellow!
Yellow: It’s because I’m Blue’s favorite.
Red: I hate you.
Dark: I feel like I have died and gone to heaven.
Chosen: I have that dream, too, but you go in the other direction.
Yellow: What do you call quantums of electromagnetic radiation that don’t get along?
Second: What did you just say-
Yellow: Foetons! *Laughs*
Second: Wh-what?
Dark: I scare people a lot because I walk very softly and they don't hear me enter rooms. So when they turn around, I'm just kind of there and their fear fuels me.
*The hollow heads have just arrived in a new city. Dark looks around at the wanted posters to see if they’re on any of them.*
Second: Dark, are you a criminal?
Dark: Not here, I’m not!
Primal: Life is like Ballista. It's short.
Ballista: Hey!
Dark: Remember how I said that Second and I were gonna have a calm night out for once?
Chosen: Yeah…
Dark: Well, we’re in jail.
Chosen: *hangs up*
Dark: *sneaking in through their window*
Chosen: *turning in their chair and flicking the light one* You want to tell me where you've been all night?
Dark: I was with Second?
Second: *turning in their chair* Wanna try again?
Chosen: Hey, can you do me a favor?
Dark: Sorry, I have to go do literally anything other than this.
Chosen: You don’t even have a legitimate reason?
Dark: Oh, no, I do.
Chosen: Well, what is it?
Dark: You see, I simply don’t give a fuck.
Dark: It’s nice to be wanted, you know?
Chosen: Not by the law!
Second: That’s illegal, right?
Dark: Why do you care? Are you a fucking cop?
Second: No-
Dark: Then shut the fuck up.
Chosen: ...I'm pretty sure that place is fire-proof, or something.
Dark, grenade in hand: Alright, but is it explosion-proof?
Green: *holding a salt packet* It’s just a little sodium chloride.
Yellow: Actually Green, it’s salt.
Green: That’s what I said, sodium chloride.
Yellow: Uh Green, that would be salt.
Yellow: *takes salt packer from Green* This is iodized table salt, which in addition to sodium chloride contains anti-caking agents and potassium iodate, which is added to prevent iodine deficiency. So not only are you being overly pretentious by insisting on using scientific terminology for everyday items, you are factually wrong. Your arrogance is your downfall, you annoying little shit.
Chosen, talking to Second: Well Second, whenever I’m about to do something, I think ‘would Dark do that?’ and if they would, I do not do that thing.
Second: …
Dark, from the distance: They’re not wrong though!
Dark: I can’t do this, it’s against my moral compass.
Second: YOUR MORAL COMPASS IS A ROULETTE WHEEL!
Dark: …Your point?
Yellow: How are we supposed to put a tracker the size of a penny on Red without them noticing?
Green: Hey, Red, I bet you 5 bucks that you can't swallow this penny.
Red: *takes and swallows tracker* Pay up, loser.
Yellow: ...
Dark: *walks into the room*
Second: They’re covered in blood again. Why is it they’re always covered in blood?
Chosen: Well, it looks like it’s their own blood this time.
*Second is fighting a monster*
Dark: Just stay calm! You already have everything you need to beat it!
Second: The power to believe in myself!?
Dark: No, a knife! Stab it!
Dark, singing: ~Hush, little laptop, don’t you cry.~
Dark: ~I'm gonna find you some more Wi-Fi.~
Dark: ~And if that Wi-Fi doesn’t work…~
Dark: ~I will destroy the fucking Earth.~
Kidnapper: I have one of your friends.
Second: Which one? I have seven.
Kidnapper: The loud, annoying, rowdy one who never shuts up.
Second: Which one? I have seven.
Red, distantly: HEY!!!
Red: Yellow's amazing at concentrating. Once they start reading, the only way they’ll notice you is if you take their book away. Not even if you hit them or shake them!
Blue: That was them ignoring you.
Chosen: You're alive.
Dark: There's no need to sound so disappointed.
Second: I only have two emotions: exhaustion and stress. And I’m somehow always feeling both simultaneously.