Duke: Can you please be serious for five minutes?
Dick: My record is four, but I think I can do it.
Harper, struggling to keep upright in their 1 inch heels: Yeah, I-I don’t really think heels are for me
Kate, pointing at them and walking flawlessly in sparkly golden 6 inch heels: WEAK.
Cullen: *Kicks the door down looking panicked*
Bruce: What did you do?
Cullen: Nobody died.
Bruce: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!
Stephanie: Stop buying plastic skeletons for Halloween! It's terrible for the environment!
Jason: Yeah! Locally sourced, all natural skeletons are much more environmentally friendly!
Nightwing : You love me, right, Batgirl ?
Batgirl : Normally, I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don’t like it.
Jon: I owe you one.
Damian: That’s ok. You can just date me and we’ll call it even.
Jason: Come to dinner tonight. I can’t cook, but I’ll bring plenty of free wine.
Roy: Marry me.
Selena: As top in this relationship, I think we should-
Bruce : I can't believe you're pulling rank on me.
Alfred: Hey, it's your turn to wash dishes.
Tiny emo Bruce: I'LL WASH THE WALLS RED WITH YOUR BLOOD.
Alfred: 'Kay, but before that, wash the dishes, also use soap this time?
Damian: It’s dark in here
Jon: Don’t worry dude I got this
Jon: *Stomps their feet*
Jon: *Skechers light up*
Duke: Hey, you want some leftovers?
Tiffany: What's that?
Duke: You've never had leftovers???
Tiffany: No, because I'm not a quitter.
Carrie: I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.
Bruce: You're like 10 years old
Carrie: I MIGHT DIE AT 20!
Dick: You can de-escalate any situation by simply saying, 'Are we about to kiss?'
Dick: Doesn't work for getting out of speeding tickets, by the way.
Dick: Remember when you didn't try to solve all your problems with attempted murder?
Jason: Stop romanticizing the past.
Dick: Let’s watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
Wally: Okay.
Dick: And make out during the scary parts.
Wally: Th-
Wally: The scary parts.
Wally: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
Bruce: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait.
Robin! Dick: You and me!!!
Bruce, tearing up: Okay.
Luke: What's a word thats a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?
Barbara: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-
Dick: Smad
Tim: What do you think Jason will do for a distraction?
Duke: They’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do.
*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*
Duke: ... or they could do that.
*Harper and Cullen are doing something absurdly dangerous*
Harper: I think Houdini did something like this once! Why, if I recall correctly, he was out of the hospital in no time!
Cullen , deadpan: Well that's encouraging.
Dick: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.
Wally: I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting stupid.
Dick: But you’re always acting stupid?
Wally: ...
Wally: Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.
Terry: We just ate. Why are you making pancakes?
Damian: For the dogs.
Terry: Why are you making pancakes for the dogs?
Damian: They don't know how.
Dick: I can't believe you've done this.....
Wally: I'm sorry I didn't know-!
Dick, on the verge of tears: YOU CAN'T JUST BUY ME A GIFT OUT OF NOWHERE NOW I FEEL LIKE A HUGE ASSHOLE!
Wally : What are amphetamines?
Dick: Drugs that can go on land and water.
Wally : Ohhhh.
Jason : Do you take constructive criticism?
Roy: I only take cash or credit.
Black canary: I know you’re deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are.
Dick: It’s not a joke.
Dick: *sniffles*
Dick: I’m a legit snack.
Duke: I can explain.
Bruce: Can you?
Duke: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.
Dick: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming
Barbara: Does anyone in this godforsaken group ever think before they speak
______________
Damian: I'm a reverse necromancer.
Carrie: Isn't that just killing people?
Damian: Ah, don’t sweat the details .
______________
Jason: Okay. I get it. You've had a really hard time lately, you're stressed out, seven people died-
Dick: Twelve, actually.
Jason: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really whose fault is that?
Dick: Yours!
Jason: That's right: no one's.
_______________
Damian: Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.
Steph: I think you mean cards.
Damian, pulling knives out of their sleeves: No, I do not.
________________
Store Worker: Would a Mr. Bruce Wayne please come to the front desk?
Bruce, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?
Store Worker: points to the batkids
Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?
Dick, simultaneously: We got lost :(
Bruce: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-
__________________
Barbara: I can’t believe you live nearby, and you won’t let anyone crash at your place.
Luke: You people already know too much about me.
Tiffany: I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you won’t let any of us crash at your place.
______________________
Tim: I’m kind of crushing on someone, but I’m worried about telling you who it is, because you’re not going to like it
Cullen: Just rip the bandage off.
Tim: It’s Kon.
Cullen: Put the bandage back on.