Bruce : I was going to suggest we do Marilyn Monroe and JFK roleplay, but I’d get way too into it.
Selena: What- how?
Bruce : You’d be like “come to bed … Mr. President” and I’d be like, “I need to increase the amount of American military advisors in South Vietnam by a factor of 18.”
Jason: Croissants: dropped
Dick: Road: works ahead
Duke: BBQ sauce: on my titties
Stephanie: Shavacado: fre
Tim: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead
Damian:
Damian: ...I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.
Damian: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?
Cass: >:O
Dick: language
Jason: Yeah watch your fucking language
Tim: Okay, who taught demon spawn the fuck word?!
Stephanie: 'The fuck word'.
Duke: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time
Tim: Oh my god they censored it
Stephanie: Say fuck, Duke.
Jason: Do it, Duke. Say fuck.
Bruce: What happened?!
Stephanie: Do you want the long version or the short version?
Bruce: Sh-short??
Stephanie: Shit's fucked.
Bruce: Okay, long.
Stephanie: Shit's very fucked.
Dick: Hey Dami, made anyone cry today?
Damian: Sadly, no. But it’s only 4:30.
Duke: *starts to leave patrol at sundown*
*an explosion is heard from nearby area*
Gotham Citizen: What was that?
Duke: The sound of someone else's problem.
Bruce: Where are you going?
Selena: Hell, eventually.
Bruce: Are you listening to me?
Robin Dick Grayson: *nods*
Bruce: What did I just say?
Robin dick Grayson: *nods*
Bruce: ...
Duke: You shouldn't be using a straw.
Stephanie: I know, I know, it's bad for the environment and stuff.
Duke: Yeah, but I mean... it's a weird way to eat spaghetti.
Bruce: How was your day, Damian?
Damian: Yeah, fine, it's anti-bullying week at school.
Bruce: Oh? And what does that mean?
Damian: It means I can't bully anyone for a whole week.
Barbara: I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. Someone asked me what the Spanish word for "tortilla" was once, and now I dream of kissing them under the moonlight.
Dick: Babs what kind of animal is the Pink Panther?
Barbara , already taking off their clothes: God, Dick, you’re so fucking stupid.
Bruce: I'll offer you some friendly advice-
Jason: I don't want your advice.
Bruce: Well, then consider it unfriendly advice.
Bruce as Batman trying to be a good dad : *shatters a window and climbs through it*
Bruce *turns around and helps Dick through it*: Breaking and entering is wrong robin.
youngDick absolutely going to do this later: ok
Dick: Time for plan G.
Stephanie : Don’t you mean plan B?
Dick: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.
Tim: What about plan D?
Dick: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.
Cass : What about plan E?
Dick: I’m hoping not to use it. Jason dies again in plan E.
Damian : I like plan E.
Jason : *Stubs their toe* FUCK!
Bruce: Mind your language!
Jason : What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”???
Bruce*bruce looking unimpressed but speechless*: …….
Stephanie : You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.
Jason Todd holding a bunch of weapons and grenades: you love me Roy?
Roy: normally i’d say yes without hesitation but i feel like i know where this is going and i don’t like it
Kon: Smart is attractive. Educate me on something I don't know!
Tim: The mouth of a jellyfish is also an anus.
Kon: Stop.
Damian: Jon and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's-
Jon: Sentences.
Damian: Don't interrupt me.
Bruce: Here's some advice
Dick: I didn't ask for any
Bruce: Too bad. I'm stuck here with my thoughts and you're the only one who talks to me
Dick: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Duke’s been crying about his parents in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get him out...
Dick: I can't believe you've done this.....
Wally: I'm sorry I didn't know-!
Dick, on the verge of tears: YOU CAN'T JUST BUY ME A GIFT OUT OF NOWHERE NOW I FEEL LIKE A HUGE ASSHOLE!
Jon: I made this friendship bracelet for you.
Damian: You know, I’m not really a jewelry person.
Jon: You don’t have to wear…
Damian: No, I’m gonna wear it forever. Back off.
Bruce: That's it, I'm cutting off the internet!
Stephanie: No, please don't! I have a family to feed!
Bruce: ….
Bruce: What?
Stephanie: I need to feed my Neopets!
Bruce: You're right.
Clark: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?
Harper: If you were to vacuum up jello through a metal tube, well I think that’d be a neat noise
Bette: I beg to differ
Harper: Then Beg
Carrie: We need to get through this locked door. Tiffany , give me your credit card.
Tiffany : Here.
Carrie, pocketing it: Thanks. Luke , kick down the door.
Kid!Dick, in a high voice, holding barbie: hey ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!
Kid!Barbara,in a deep voice, holding ken: nonsense, barbie. you’re staying home and having my kids
Bruce: what the fuck are you guys doing?
Kid!Barbara: playing systemic oppression
Kon: Hey Tim,
Tim: Yes?
Kon: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?
Tim:
Tim: Where’s Bart?
Tim: Carrie was banned from the chicken shack, so we had to go out of town to get some.
Carrie: Well, they shouldn’t say “all you can eat” if they don’t mean it.
Tim: Carrie, you ate a chair.
Luke : dad! My face is on fire!
Lucius: Luke ! Are you ok?!
Luke : Oh yes, I'm fine. I just said that to make sure you'd come in here quickly.
Lucius : But your face is on fire.
Luke : Yes. It's much faster than shaving.