Bedtime - Blog Posts
You ever had a dream that had a storyline so good, you start mapping out the storyline inside the dream so the storyline can be tangible in reality, but when you wake up the dream has started slipping from your mind, and you’re sitting there left to wonder who Marco and Destin are and what are their stories…
(Lowkey feeling nostalgic about the HBO goodnight moon special which I was thinking of while making this post. I swear if I ever get a chance to watch it again I might cry.)
Enhebradora
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Sleepy Thoughts #5
Saturday, June 4 2016 12:03 AM: Exhausted after an anxiety attack. Have you ever passed by someone who was on the phone and you hear them mention someone by name? Once I was on a bus and looking through the seats in front of me a woman was texting someone and, being the inherently nosey person I am, I read them to find out that Jackie was just diagnosed with breast cancer. It just seems strange to me that I have my own group of people I surround myself with, so that if I mention Abby, people know who I'm talking about. It just always catches me off guard to know that every single person that walks by me on the street has a family, and an entire group of people, and they just have their own separate existence to mine. My mom was right maybe the world doesn't revolve around me after all. Or does it?
Sleepy Thoughts #4
Wednesday, June 1, 2016
12:17 AM: I have an irrational fear of sleeping anywhere near midnight because I’m afraid the ghosties are gonna come into my room, so it’s around this time that I’m in a constant state of fear and can’t sleep.
I have a vivid memory of the first day of fourth grade when I walked into Ms. Sanchez’s English class and, upon finding my name tag on my new desk, I stopped and thought to myself, “Well, this is the desk that will be mine for the whole entire year”. At that moment in time, the end of the school year just seemed so far away, and the time that I was to spend at that desk would last an eternity. It was during the following summer that I finally remembered that moment I had, and I realized that it felt like just yesterday that I was assigned that desk, and the school year had flown by before I could notice it. That got me thinking about the first day of school and the end of summer, but I quickly dismissed these thoughts because hey, summer had just begun, and the first day of school was an eternity away, right?
Time is a bitch.
Sleepy Thoughts #3
Friday, May 20, 2016 10:38 PM: In pain on an air mattress at my grandma's 'cause I forgot my neck pillow that I sleep on while my industrial heals The most frustrating part of visiting my family is the difference of views. My uncle proudly says that if Bernie were to be elected then the national debt would be 17 TRILLION dollars, like it's the most absurd piece of information, while my grandma gobbles it up. I sit there biting my tongue while my mother looks at me to make sure I don't jump up and smash their radio to pieces. So I sit there, wondering why it's a bad thing that the national debt would be 17 trillion dollars. Especially since it's currently at 19.2 trillion and growing more every second.
Sleepy Thoughts #2
Friday, May 20, 2016 1:33 AM: Took a sleeping pill two hours ago and yet my mind still doesn’t want to go to sleep
I just saw a video on Facebook about a very obese cat who was learning to swim in an effort to lose weight and it made me feel very sad for the cat. Like, is the cat so fat that it can’t do things that cats do? I’ve heard of cats that get so fat that they can’t groom themselves properly, or be as agile as they used to be, and doesn’t that make them feel sad? Can cats feel sad? I have two cats, one is fat, and when he’s stealing the leftover pizza crust and doritos from my desk, does he realize that he’s only contributing to his downfall? Or is the emotional joy that he gains from eating these treats, and stealing the food from my much smaller cat, simply too enjoyable for him to stop? Do cats feel joy? Do cats realize the basics of cause and effect? The world may never know.
Sleepy Thoughts #1
Sunday, May 15, 2016
2:03 AM: Not sleeping anytime soon
You know that feeling when you watch way too many episodes from way too many TV shows, in way too short a timeframe?
And you become unhealthily obsessed with plot, setting, and characters, and all you want is to pass through your laptop screen and join your friends in their quest?
But you know this isn’t possible, so you instead spend every waking moment daydreaming about what your life would be like in their world.
And the knowledge that you would never meet them, because the actor is not the same as the character, makes you want to curl up into a ball and cry because the real world has no magic?
So as you’re crying in the fetal position, you press play on the next episode in hopes of escaping the dreary reality in which we’re all stuck.
My Dearest L...
Well it's 6:21am and I'm still up... ever feel as if you're just wasting your life away? like your waiting for that one person to just come into your life that will make it something again, get you off your bed, make you feel something again... I wonder where that person is for me sometimes... I sit in my room day after day sleeping my whole day away never seeing sunlight very much anymore only the very few seconds I get when I pop my sleeping in the morning the sun jumps through my window crack. other than that I just don't see it, I try to think that maybe I'll actually get up and do something beautiful with my life but honestly I just don't have the energy for that stuff right now. all my friends moved away or just didn't talk to me anymore. I only have the ones on my phone but who wants to stare at a screen all the time you know. I forgot how to even make friends like how do I put effort to put myself out there when none wants to even get to know me? I just don't really attract people I guess... anyway I'm off to bed now. see ya on the flipside!!!
Broken Girl... Coming soon!
Man, do I have a story to tell you guys! I'll prob be posting it in parts bec it's still ongoing but I'm writing out the beginning. I keep telling myself I should have blogged about it when it first started happening but my I have to work with my sister to get it all from the beginning bec I have a really bad memory that's why most of my blog post is really how I'm feeling in that moment and they're very raw. anyways I'll be blogging about this girl very soon, should be some time starting around next week. Maybe Monday? I'm not sure, yet...
My Dearest L...
It's 5:49am and I went through a nether bipolar episode I'm so sad that I'm in this bed all alone with none to catch me when I fall. Time goes by while everyone has someone and I have none....I always used to think you and my sister would be alone and I'd be the happy one but who was I kidding I'm not that lucky...
I light my smoke, you forget are book. A story I started, which you decide to end. Time only moves slow when the smoke slips through your fingers in the bed next to me.🖤💀
My Dearest L...
So I had this really weird ss dream last night, I was in the Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit movie, of course, I was Gromit cuz who else would I be... but I was in the movie, and instead of catching rabbits and vacuuming them up I found Wallace in the back garden room with the were-rabbit and he was feeding GOD DAMN GIRLS TO HIM like WTFFFF I then proceeded to roll my eyes and walk away from him thinking to myself that the rabbit is only going to grow up with a bad temper cuz he was only eating girls like where were the guys in this. did Wallace not feed him guys cuz he didn't want the rabbit to one day turn on him or was it bec the rabbit was sexist??? well that's a question only the people that make my insane wild dreams would know XDD
If you would like me to type out my dreams more on my blog let me know cuz I have some really crazy fucked up ones. just repost and like this post to let me know if you are interested :)