flash us WHAT WHO SAID THAT
i fear i will NEVER get over this
put those titties in my face next thankyou đđ˝
oh my lordđŠđŠđŠ
I love every billie fic on this app donât get me wrong but why does everyone make her have a dick idm strap or wtvs but she cannot actually feel it is it just me who finds this weird idkđđ
need her fingers on me like thatđđđđđđ˝đđ˝đđ˝đđ˝đđ˝
I beg your finest pardon im literally feral rn
guys I need sub billie right NOWđ
ŕźâ new year's with billie
"three... two... one... happy new year!"
the jubilant blare of party horns fills the room, mingling with the cheers and laughter of your friends. you glance up at the sky, sparkling with bright stars, as vibrant fireworks burst across the night. their dazzling colors paint the sky as their loud pops echo all around you.
finneas, your girlfriend's brother, pulls claudia into a warm embrace, pressing a tender kiss to the top of her head.
you smile at the heartfelt moment, but your attention shifts as familiar arms wrap around you, drawing you into their comforting warmth. turning, you meet billieâs gaze, her eyes shimmering with affection and love.
your hands instinctively cup her face, your smile radiant as she gently squeezes your hips.
"i love you so much, pretty girl," she says, her voice soft and heartfelt. her gaze flickers to your lips before locking onto your eyes again, sincerity etched across her features. she tilts her head and leans in, her lips capturing yours in a kiss both tender and passionate, overflowing with love.
"i love you too, billie," you murmur, your cheeks beginning to ache from the uncontainable smile she brings to your face. "so, so much."
her voice drops to a gentle whisper, filled with devotion. "i can't wait to spend another year with youâand forever, baby."
"forever," you echo, your heart swelling as her words settle into your soul.
a/n: here's a little fluffy drabble cuz writer's block will not leave me be
⎠happy new year to everyone stepping into 2025! i wish you an incredible year filled with love, happiness, and joy. thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who has supported meâit means the absolute world to share my writing with you and receive such positive feedback. i love you all <3
REQUEST: billie being rrly worried about r eating problems?
a/n: before we get into the fic, i just want to remind everyone that your struggles are valid. i understand where you're coming from and i promise you, you're perfect just as you are, inside and out. you don't need to be slim to be beautiful. that's just society's and men's messed up standards. this is just one of many serious & important topics and i want you to know that my messages are always open if you need to vent, talk, or simply have someone listen.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
pairings - concernedgf!billie x insecure!reader
genre - angst, fluff, suggestive
synopsis: struggling with body image and online criticism, you find comfort as billie lovingly supports you and helps you confront your insecurities with understanding and care.
tw: heavy mentions of body dysmorphia & an eating disorder.
word count: 1.1K
you don't have to change you're perfect the way you are
âĄ
she's a pretty girl without the filter she looks beautiful with no makeup on
â・ďžâď¸ď˝Ąâ・ ďžâž ďžď˝Ąâ
"How about In-N-Out?"
Wide grins spread across everyone's faces as they nod in agreement, then turn to you, waiting for your response. Your gaze shifts to Finneas in the driverâs seat, then to Claudia in the passenger seat, before skimming over Alex and Zoe on your right, and finally landing on Billieâyour girlfriendâseated to your left.
"Oh, uh, I'll actually just skip. I already ate, so I'm full," you say with a casual shrug.
"You sure you don't want something for later?" Billie asks, a soft chuckle escaping her lips as she lightly squeezes your knee. "I know you. You always say you're not hungry, then an hour later, you're begging me to get you something to eat."
You force a smile, shaking your head. "I'm sure."
During the drive to the fast-food joint, you pull out your phone, your lips pressing into a tight frown as you scroll through the comments left by Billieâs fans on her most recent postâsome cruel and cutting, others trying to defend you.
quenxbillie4life: what an ugly fatass bitch prob js a gold digger âł ronniel0vesbils: do u even KNOW billie? she's struggled sm with body image. have u heard not my responsibility? u have no right to say that abt her gf.
billieeilishnoticeme69: BIG BACK BIG BACK BIG BACK
billybiggestfan: elephants don't deserve to date global stars like billy âł ronniel0vesbils: lmao didn't even spell her name right u fake fanđ
billiespitonme: @ronniel0vesbils is legit fighting for her life out here LMFAO
The harsh words sting, and though the supportive replies are there, they feel drowned out by the negativity. You glance out the car window, trying to shake the ache in your chest, but the comments linger like a shadow.
You try to conceal your exhaustion, but itâs hard to ignore the countless nights spent sobbing, curled up with your knees to your chest, rocking back and forth as you desperately pray to wake up with a modelâs body the next day.
But it never happens. And each passing day only deepens the growing hatred you feel toward yourself.
Why would Billie ever choose someone like you?
Sheâs one of the most ethereal-looking women on the planet, effortlessly breathtaking in a way that leaves you in awe. She never seems to have a bad moment, always stunning. Yet somehow, out of everyone, she chose you.
You sit silently, watching everyone enjoy their burgers and sip on their drinks, all the while wishing the ground would open up and swallow you whole. Deep down, youâve convinced yourself that youâre not even worthy of a good mealâthat starving yourself is just the price you have to pay to lose weight.
Your eyes drop to your hands resting in your lap, fingers fidgeting with your nails as a quiet sigh escapes. Slumping further into the seat, you tune out the lively conversations and laughter of your friends, letting the background noise blur into nothingness.
"You okay, baby?"
The gentle voice snaps you out of your thoughts. You hear the jingle of keys being tossed onto the coffee table, followed by soft footsteps padding across the wooden floor. Billie appears in the doorway, leaning against the frame with concern etched across her face. "You were acting a little weird today."
You glance away, offering only a small nod in response, but Billie isnât convinced. She crosses the room and sits beside you, the mattress dipping under her weight as she exhales softly. Her ring-clad hand comes to rest lightly on your knee.
"You sure?" she presses, her voice tender. "You usually never say no to burgers."
A bitter chuckle slips out before you can stop it, the comment twisting into an unintentional jab at yourself. Are you really such a glutton that even Billie notices the sudden change? The thought stings.
"Yeah," you mutter, your tone tinged with self-deprecation. "That just might be the issue." You roll your eyes at your typical eating habits, the words dripping with sarcasm and frustration.
Billieâs brows knit together, a faint crease forming on her forehead as she shifts closer, tilting her head thoughtfully. âAh,â she murmurs, her lips pressing into a thin line. âI get it, love. I know how you feelâIâve been through it.â
Her hand moves up to your arm, fingers tracing gentle, soothing patterns across your skin. âI want you to know Iâm here for you. Always. Youâre not alone in this, and you never will be.â Her voice is soft but firm, her words wrapping around you like a warm embrace.
âAnything you ever want to tell me, Iâm listening. And,â she adds, a small, playful smile tugging at the corner of her mouth, âyou canât be stressing your pretty little head about all this without me being involved, got it?â
Your lips curl into a soft smile, but the harsh, critical thoughts about your appearance still linger, refusing to be silenced.
Billie notices the unease in your expression. Her hand gives your arm a gentle squeeze before she guides you down onto the bed, your back pressing against the sheets and your head cradled by a pillow.
For a moment, your mind races. Really? Sex? Does she think a distraction like this will actually help right now?
Still, you push the thought aside, watching as Billie moves with quiet determination. Her fingers deftly unbutton your jeans, sliding them down your legs and tossing them onto the floor. She shifts her focus to your torso, carefully slipping your shirt over your head, leaving you in just your bra and underwear.
Instinctively, your hands fly to your stomach, trying to cover yourself. Even though Billie has seen you naked countless times, the habit of hiding feels ingrainedâan automatic response to the insecurities clawing at you.
Billie is quick to pin your hands gently to your sides, her soft yet firm grip keeping them in place. Her lips brush against your jaw, leaving a trail of warmth as she moves down to your neck, collarbone, and then licks a slow, deliberate stripe down the valley of your breasts.
"Pretty fucking girl," she murmurs, her voice low and filled with adoration. A quiet groan escapes her lips as she shifts lower, her hands gliding across your skin, mapping every inch and curve with reverent care.
"I love you," she says, her words muffled as she presses her lips tenderly against your belly button. "So fucking much, angel. Youâre perfect."
Her hands drift to your thighs, squeezing them gently before she peppers a trail of featherlight kisses along their length. âI love every curve, every inch of this gorgeous body,â she whispers, her tone steady and unwavering, as if daring your insecurities to challenge her conviction.
"And that's never, ever going to change."
REQUEST: loved ur billie fic sm!!!𼚠can you do billie x f!reader where r has been acting distant lately ofc shes tryna hide that but billie being the attentive girlfriend she is notices and asks r about it then r talks about wanting to break up but billie can read her emotions through her eyes so well so they talk ab it and turns out r has been feeling insecure cus billies very up there and shes just her THIS IS SO LONG M SORRY i js love u and hope to see more from uđŁ thank u sm!!!đŤ°đť
a/n: i adore this request tysm ily! and u can make it as long as u want (that's what she said) hope this is how u wanted it to go<3
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
pairings - attentivegf!billie x insecure!reader
genre - angst, fluff
synopsis: when doubts about your worth drive a wedge between you and billie, an emotional confrontation reveals just how deep her love for you runs.
tw: self-doubt, emotional distressânothing too serious
word count: 1.1K
i look to you and i see nothing i look to you to see the truth
âĄ
a stranger light comes on slowly a stranger's heart without a home
â・ďžâď¸ď˝Ąâ・ ďžâž ďžď˝Ąâ
"And that's a wrap!"
Applause fills the room as the interviewer stands and pulls Billie in for a brief hug. "You were amazing. It was an honor having you here," she says warmly. Billie smiles back, her signature charm on full display. "The episode will be in editing for a few days, but we'll let you know once it's ready to publish."
The brunette nods, her ocean-blue eyes catching the iridescent glow of the overhead lamp. As she exchanges goodbyes, her gaze sweeps the room, searchingâonly to find no sign of you.
"Hey," she calls out, tapping Finneas on the shoulder. He turns to face her, eyebrows raised. "Did she leave?"
"Yeah, about twenty minutes ago," he says with a shrug, crossing his arms. "You guys okay? I donât usually like to get involved, but... sheâs been acting different. Not just with youâjust, in general."
"No, yeah, we're fine. She probably just wasn't feeling well," Billie says as she fiddles with her silver rings, though the crease in her brow betrays the indifference she tries to project. Truthfully, she has no idea why you've been acting so distantâdistant enough for Finneas and even a few of your mutual friends to notice and question her about it.
After bidding her farewells, Billie heads straight for her car, a clear mission in mind as she drives to your place. She rings the doorbell, anxiously tapping her foot against the wooden floorboards of your porch.
The door opens after a few beats, revealing youâyour face etched with a melancholic expression. Her brows knit together instantly, worry clouding her eyes as her hands move to cup your cheeks. Her thumbs brush over the faint streaks of dried tears.
âWhat happened, pretty girl?â she asks softly, concern woven into every word. âYou left so suddenly, but you seemed just fine this morning. Are you feeling sick? I can grab you some soup from that place you love.â
You shake your head, stepping back from her touch before turning away and sinking onto the gray couch. Your lips are downturned, shoulders slumped, as Billie silently follows, her worried gaze never leaving you.
"I donât know why everyoneâs so worried. Iâm fine," you snap, your voice sharper than intended. You meet her concerned eyes with a glare, though it falters. "You didnât need to come over. Donât you have some afterparty to go to with your famous friends?"
Billieâs brows knit together in confusion as she lowers herself onto the coffee table across from you, legs spread and elbows propped on her knees. She leans forward, searching your face. âWhatâs that supposed to mean?â
âNothing, I justâŚâ Your voice falters, trailing off as you avert your gaze to the side, nervously chewing your bottom lip.
âHey,â she says softly, her tone steady but full of concern. âWhatâs wrong?â
Her gentleness feels like a knife twisting in your chest. Guilt gnaws at you with every word, every worried glance. No matter how cold you try to be, sheâs still herâloving, understanding, unwavering.
âI wanna⌠break up.â The words leave your lips in a whisper, barely audible, but they hit like a crack of thunder. Your tear-filled eyes flicker to hers, wide and stricken with disbelief.
âWaitâwhat? What?â Billie stammers, her voice cracking with shock as she processes your words. âYou⌠you wanna break up?â
âI wanna break up,â you repeat, though it comes out shakier this time, as though the words might crumble under their weight.
âWhy?â she asks softly, her voice trembling. Her hands reach out instinctively, intertwining with yours, her thumbs brushing across your knuckles in a gentle, grounding motion. âWhy? I donât⌠I donât understand.â
Billie studies you intently, her gaze searching for answers you donât know how to give. She catches the guilt etched in your features, and a quiet sigh escapes her lips as she tightens her grip on your handsâreassuring, alleviating.
âTalk to me, Y/N,â she pleads, her voice steady despite the tension in her posture. âWe need to talk about this. About you. Iâve been so worried lately, and now⌠this? Why do you want to break up? I thought we were happy.â
âI wasâam happy, I justâŚâ You exhale shakily, lowering your gaze to your lap, where your hands remain entwined with hers. âWhy me?â
âWhat?â Billieâs brows knit together, and she shifts closer, tilting her head slightly.
âI justâ Thereâs nothing special about me, yâknow? Iâm just me, and youâre Billie Eilish. I donât get why youâd wanna be with someone like me.â
âFuck,â she mutters under her breath, a soft chuckle escaping as she pulls you closer, shifting you onto her thigh. Your heart flutters involuntarily, but the warmth is immediately overshadowed by the painful squeeze in your chest when you look down into her comforting, knowing gaze. âIs that why youâve been acting so different, baby?â
You donât respond, but you donât have to. She sighs, her arms wrapping securely around your waist, holding you as if to anchor you in place.
âYou might not be famous in the worldâs eyes,â she murmurs, her voice tender yet resolute, âbut youâre everything in mine. And yeah, youâre you, but thatâs exactly who I fell in love with. Not some snobby celebrity, or anyone else. You. Just you. And youâre fucking perfect, love. Donât you see that?â
"What if you find someone better, or... I don't know, things go south? It's happened before with other couples, andâ"
"It wonât happen with us," Billie cuts in gently, her voice soft yet stable. "Iâll never find someone better because that doesnât exist."
She leans in, pressing a series of featherlight kisses along your jaw, trailing down to your neck. Her warm breath brushes your skin as she exhales softly, her hair tickling you like a second touch.
"I love you," she whispers, her words grounding you as she presses another lingering kiss against your neck. "And nothingânothingâis ever going to change that, got it?"
With a playful grin, you thread your fingers through her hair, giving it a gentle tug to tilt her head up so she meets your gaze. "Prove it."
Billie lets out a soft laugh, shaking her head as her hands tighten around your waist. "Youâre insatiable," she teases, before leaning in to capture your lips in a tender kiss. Slowly, she guides you onto your back on the couch, her body hovering over yours as she trails down to your neck, leaving a path of delicate, lingering kisses that promise to leave their mark.
She pulls back just enough to kiss you again, her lips hovering over yours before she smiles softly. "I love you," she repeats, her gaze locking with yours, full of warmth and certainty.
pairings - overwhelmed!billie x caring!reader
genre - angst, fluff near the end
synopsis: billie returns from a week-long trip to korea, leading to an intense argument that threatens your relationship.
tw: slight emotional abuse, relationship conflict, reader and billie are in an established relationship, billie calls reader clingy
word count: 2.7K
and the air is thick with loss and indecision i know my pain is such an imposition
âĄ
i gave you all my best me's, my endless empathy and all i did was bleed as i tried to be the bravest soldier
âŠâË.âđ¸ď¸ââşââ§
As the first rays of sunlight stream through the curtains, you slowly open your eyes, your vision blurry for a few seconds as you gaze out the window. Extending your arm, you touch the empty spot on the sheets beside youâcold and untouched.
Your girlfriend Billie has been in Korea for what feels like forever, though itâs only been a week. Her long-awaited album just dropped, and sheâs been consumed with interviews and appearances. She hasnât been responding to your texts much, leaving you feeling lonely. Still, you remind yourself how hard sheâs working and try not to let it bother you too much.
Pulling yourself out of bed, you shuffle to the bathroom, turning on the tap to run a warm bath. Back in your room, you grab the hoodie Billie gave you before she left. Her signature scent still lingers, drawing a small, bittersweet smile to your face as your chest tightens with longing. You slip it on over matching sweatpants, preparing for a strawberry-scented bath to shake off the ache of missing her.
Todayâs the day Billie finally comes home. The thought brings a flicker of excitement, breaking through the gloom of the past week. You've been counting down the hours, longing for the moment you'd see her walk through the door, ready to wrap her in your arms. Youâd planned everythingâdinner, her favorite movie, and the kind of quiet, comforting night you know she loves.
Youâve spent the whole morning searching Instagram for recipes, carefully selecting her favorites. After your bath, you tie your hair up into a ponytail and get to work, letting the rhythmic hum of a Clairo playlist fill the air.
Two hours pass, and youâve prepared mashed potatoes, a fresh salad, and a pot of pasta with vegan meatballs. The table is set, the living room prepared, and her favorite movie is paused on the TV.
At about 6 PM, the sound of keys jangling at the door makes your heart leap as you set two plates on the coffee table. You rush to greet her, a bright smile on your face as the door swings open. There she isâBillie, standing with her luggage in hand, looking as stunning as ever.
âHey,â she says, her voice soft but distant, her expression tired.
âHi, baby,â you reply warmly. âI missed you.â
âMe too,â she says, forcing a small smile. But thereâs no hug, no kiss, no affectionate greeting. Your stomach knots at the coldness in her demeanor.
âHow was your trip?â
âBusy. Lots of interviews.â Her tone is flat, almost disinterested as she runs a hand through her black hair.
âI made you dinner,â you say, stepping aside to reveal the table youâd prepared. The sight of her favorite dishes and the movie queued up for the night shouldâve brought a smile to her face, but instead, she sighs, rubbing her forehead.
âThatâs great, baby, but I think Iâll pass.â
Your smile falters, but you quickly push aside the sting, which is instantly overpowered by your care. Checking on her is one of your priorities, and you know her well. You two have been together for a year and a half, so by now, you can immediately tell when something's wrong. âAre you okay? You seem... off.â
âIâm just tired,â Billie mutters, avoiding your gaze.
âWell, we can relax on the couch, eat something, watch the movieââ
âI wanna be alone, Y/N,â she interrupts sharply. Her tone cuts through you, the weight of her words hitting harder than you expect. âYouâre going to want to cuddle and... Iâm just not in the mood.â
âOh.â The hurt threatens to spill over, but you swallow it down. âIâm sorry.â
âNo, donât do that,â she snaps, crossing her arms as her piercing gaze meets your confused expression. âDonât guilt-trip me like this.â
âIâm not trying to guilt-trip you,â you reply softly. âI justââ
âJust drop it, okay?â she says firmly.
You hesitate, but something inside you refuses to let it go. âOkay, no. You donât get to treat me like this after Iâve spent all day trying to make things nice for you. I know youâre tired, but that doesnât mean you can push me away.â
âI didnât ask you to do any of this,â Billie says, gesturing dismissively at the table. âYouâre the one who went overboard.â
âBecause I care about you,â you argue, stepping closer. âBecause I wanted to make you feel better after a long week. All I wanted was to spend some time together, but apparently, thatâs too much to ask.â
Billieâs eyes narrow. âYouâre being ridiculous.â
âAm I?â You throw your hands up in frustration. âYouâve barely answered my texts, youâve been distant all week, and now youâre acting like Iâm the problem for wanting to spend time with my girlfriend.â
You almost can't recognize the person in front of you. Is this why she'd been so cold lately? Usually, after long trips like this, she'd get extremely clingy, refusing to leave your side while repeatedly claiming how much she'd missed you and peppering your face with a billion kisses.
"I've been busy, Y/N. You can't expect me to be on my phone 24/7," she argues, a frustrated groan slipping out. "What, are you gonna strangle me for doing my job?"
"Billie," you resolutely call out as you cross your arms defensively. "When have I ever not been understanding to your circumstances? I know how hard you work, and I know your job means you gotta travel around the world. And I've always been okay with that."
She lets out a dry laugh, her tone dripping with exasperation. "So, why are you acting so goddamn needy right now?"
The word hits like a slap. She knows how much that word cuts you, how deeply it taps into your insecurities.
"Why are you being so unbearable right now?" you retort, matching the volume of her tone. Not yelling, but not calm either.
"Just stop it. You're making a big deal out of nothingâ"
"No, I'm not. Stop trying to make me sound crazy."
You make your way to the kitchen and grab a glass cup from the dish rack, filling it up with cold water before taking a sip. Your throat had begun to to run dry since you haven't eaten or had anything to drink all day. "You could've been nicer about it. Why are you acting surprised and attacking me for wanting to spend time with you after a week apart?"
billie follows you and leans against the counter, feigning indifference as you stare at her from the other side of the kitchen, your eyes scorching with fury. "A week's not that long."
You scoff after setting the cup on the counter in front of you. "Yeah, says you who literally couldn't wait for me to come home after I slept over at my sister's house for two days."
"That's different." She rolls her eyes and prods her tongue against the inside of her cheek. The audacity leaves you speechless for a second before you regain your composure.
"What changed?" You shake your head in disbelief as you replay the memories of the sweet nothings she would whisper in your ear after being gone for so long. Whether she'd be gone on tour for a month, or if she'd just go visit her parents and Finneas for the weekend, she'd always return to you. "Why are you acting so weird?"
Billie lets out a pained sigh as she shuts her eyes tightly, hoping this moment would just disappear. This is the first time you've seen her show a single emotion other than apathy the whole time she's been back. "I think..." she trails off, not knowing how to correctly word the sentence on the tip of her tongue.
"You think what?" you ask, growing a little impatient as you watch her part her lips again.
"I canât do this anymore,â she says, the words spilling out like venom. âI think we need a break.â
Your eyes widen and your jaw goes slack. "What the fuck?"
Rounding the corner of the counter, you gently reach out to hold her hands, but she withdraws herself and steps further away. The room seems to tilt as her words sink in. "Where the hell is this coming from?"
âI just... I canât be in a relationship right now. Itâs too much.â
Your voice breaks as tears blur your vision. âBillie, please. We can figure this outââ
âItâs not up to you,â she says, her tone colder than youâve ever heard it.
âDonât do this,â you plead. Never in a million years did you picture tonight ending this way, with you practically begging her to take you back.
She steps back, shaking her head, her emotionless blue orbs meet yours, damp and red. âI need space.â
"If you just listened when I told you to leave me alone earlier, this wouldn't be happening right now." Billie's voice rises, although she's never yelled at you before. Every time you two would argue, she'd still try her best to steer clear of doing or saying anything she might regret afterwards.
"Don't you fucking blame me," you yell back, your knuckles turning white as you tighten your grip on the edge of the counter. "I just wanted to spend the night with my girlfriend after being away from each other for so long. You're the one whoâ"
She lets out another humorless chuckle as she steps forward, leaning closer until your faces are mere inches apart. "Say one more fucking word and I'm never coming home again." She watches your furious expression falter as your eyebrows scrunch together, a crease forming in your forehead. You remain silent and that's when she pulls back. "That's what I fucking thought."
You lower your gaze as she moves out of your view, striding towards your shared bedroom. All you hear is the sound of her footsteps padding across the ceramic floor tiles and trailing further from where you helplessly stand, before you hear the door slam. The sound reverberates through the house, leaving you frozen in place.
Your reticence lingers for a few minutes, almost as if you're too afraid to utter a single word or she'd walk out on you. A quiet sob escapes your lips when your legs give out and you slump onto a stool, burying your face in your hands as the tears finally fall.
The food's cold. It's all you can think about.
The food you spent all of last night planning out, and most of today to make. It's cold. Untouched.
Her words from earlier hit you like cinder blocks. The weight of each sentence uttered makes your heart sink further into your chest as if it's been attached to an anchor.
Questions flood your mind, each one heavier than the last. What went wrong? Was it something you did? How long has she felt this way?
You sit there for hours, drowning in your thoughts, wondering if sheâs lying awake like you are, or if sheâs already moved onâemotionally gone from what once felt unbreakable.
This isn't something she'd ever normally do. Billie's the most gentle person, especially with you. She'd never do anything to hurt you.
Hues of red and orange begin to spill through the living room window, painting the walls with soft, warm light. You take a shaky breath, turning your head to the window. The sunrise is breathtakingly beautifulâan ironic contrast to the emotional storm you've just endured through one of the worst nights of your life.
You sniffle quietly, wiping away the lingering tears with the back of your hand, your lips trembling from the strain of holding back sobs.
In the bedroom, Billie sits on the edge of the bed, knees drawn to her chest as she stares blankly at the wall. The faint light of the bedside lamp reflects the glimmer of dried tears streaked across her cheeks. She hadnât bothered to turn it off, too lost in her own thoughts. Her lips are pressed into a remorseful line, her usual confidence replaced with raw guilt. She knows she messed upâknows she acted ungrateful when all you wanted was her.
A heavy sigh escapes her as she swings her legs over the side of the bed, forcing herself to get up. Thirst claws at her throat, but so does the anxiety of facing you. Deep down, she half-expects you to be gone by nowâout of the house and her life for good after everything she said. But as she shuffles into the living room, Billieâs breath catches when she sees you still there, perched on the same stool by the counter where sheâd left you hours ago.
Her stomach twists as she takes in your figure: slouched shoulders, tired eyes, and the faint, broken sniffles that fill the otherwise silent space. Each sound cuts deeper into her chest. She hesitates for a moment, her hand twitching as she reaches out, wanting to comfort you, but unsure if she even deserves to. Slowly, she steps closer, finally giving in to the ache in her heart.
Tentatively, Billie wraps her arms around you from behind. You flinch slightly, startled by the touch, a quiet gasp escaping your lips. It's the last thing you expected.
âIâm so fucking sorry, baby. You have no idea,â she whispers, her voice thick with emotion. Her grip tightens as though afraid you might slip away. âI donât know what got into me last night. I never shouldâve yelled at you or called you needy. You just wanted to be with me, and IâI was awful. Iâm sorry. Thereâs no excuse for what I did.â
Your chest heaves, struggling to regulate your breathing. You canât bring yourself to speak, the lump in your throat too heavy. After a long beat of silence, Billie pulls back slightly, moving to face you. Gently, she tilts your chin up, her heart sinking when she sees the toll her words took on youâyour puffy, tear-streaked face, trembling lips, and bloodshot eyes.
Her hands cup your cheeks, her thumbs brushing away the dampness. âI did this to you,â she says, her voice barely audible, as if scolding herself. âI made you cry.â
âWas I⌠too much?â you croak, your voice cracking. The question hangs in the air, fragile and weighted with insecurity. âToo clingy?â
Billieâs brows knit tightly, and she shakes her head vehemently. âNo. Never. Youâre never too much, love. Iâm so sorry.â She rests her forehead against yours, her voice soft but firm. âIâll never lash out at you like that again. I promise.â
âItâs seven,â you whisper hoarsely, your voice still trembling.
Her eyes widen slightly. âYou spent all night here crying?â
You nod wordlessly, and she exhales shakily, guilt washing over her anew. Without hesitation, Billie takes your hands, guiding you off the stool. âCome on,â she murmurs gently, leading you back toward the bedroom. As the door shuts softly behind you, she repeats, âIâm so sorry.â
You chuckle faintly, the sound raw and tired. âYouâve said that a billion times.â
âAnd Iâll say it a trillion more if thatâs what it takes,â she replies, her lips curving into a soft smile as she wraps her arms securely around your waist. Her tone grows tender. âI love you. Youâre never, ever too much for me.â
The warmth of her words soothes your aching heart, though the memory of the night still lingers. âYou said you wanted a break,â you remind her, your voice a fragile whisper.
âI donât,â she says quickly, her gaze earnest. âI was overwhelmed and stressed with everything. I shouldnât have taken it out on you. Thatâs on me.â Her fingers gently tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear, her touch featherlight. âBut I donât want a break. I want you. I'm sorâ"
You shake your head, letting out a fragile laugh. âIf you apologize again, I swearââ
Billie cuts you off with a soft, passionate kiss, pouring every ounce of regret and love into the moment. Your hands instinctively move to her shoulders, pulling her closer, grounding yourself in her warmth.
When she finally pulls away, she rests her forehead against yours, her blue eyes shining with affection and sincerity. âLetâs get some sleep, baby,â she whispers, her voice like a balm to your soul.
And for the first time that night, you feel the weight on your chest begin to lift.