I would love to see a fic on this.
As requested by our-flame-never-goes-out. :)
Of course, it was Rukia who, in canon Bleach, gave Ichigo his original powers and then trained him in the ways of being a shinigami. But what if it were Renji who was sent to Karakura Town on a supposedly routine assignment, only to find himself losing his powers to some weird human? How would Bleach be different then?
1. Renji would sacrifice his powers out of “weird-hair solidarity.”
In canon, Rukia’s motivation for giving Ichigo her powers was based partly on not wanting a family of humans to die, but mostly on the fact that Ichigo just looked so much like Kaien. But in this new reality, Renji’s motivation would be based largely on the fact that Ichigo has weird hair, just like him.
(later)
Byakuya: Renji….I understand.
Byakuya: This boy….has weird orange hair that reminds you of your own weird red hair.
Ichigo (bleeding on the ground): THAT was your motivation??
Renji: Hey! Don’t judge me!
2. Renji would follow Ichigo to school (in terrible clothes).
Like Rukia, Renji would stalk Ichigo until Ichigo agreed to be a shinigami. Unlike Rukia, though, Renji would show off his penchant for, just, really terrible clothing.
Renji: Yo.
Ichigo: WE HAVE A UNIFORM HERE, MAN!
Ichigo: Also what are you doing here?
Renji: Being a lot cooler than you, to be honest.
Ichigo: That is just not true.
3. Renji would sleep under Ichigo’s bed.
Unable to fit in Ichigo’s closet due to being giant, Renji would instead just sleep under Ichigo’s bed.
[hollow warning sound]
Ichigo: Where the hell is that noise coming from?
Renji (appearing suddenly from beneath the bed): Ichigo, let’s go!
Ichigo: HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN UNDER MY BED?!
4. Renji would still do chores for Urahara.
After all, like Rukia, Renji would need help with his mysterious “powers not coming back” affliction. And so would buy stuff from Urahara’s shop.
Urahara: All right! Your total comes to….sweeping my shop!
Renji: …or I could pay with money?
Urahara: No, that doesn’t feel right.
5. Chad and Renji would send a hollow to hell together.
I bring this up only because I want you to imagine - really imagine - Chad picking Renji up, and throwing him into the air to fight the hollow.
Renji: You are freakishly strong.
Chad: You just watched me swing a telephone pole like a baseball bat.
Chad: This surprises you?
6. Eventually, Byakuya and Rukia would come to arrest him.
I have decided that in this universe, Renji and Rukia have basically switched places: Rukia is the lieutenant of Squad 6, and Renji is an unseated officer. He’s also in Squad 6, though, because Renji still secretly wants to beat Byakuya. Naturally enough, when it comes time for Renji to get arrested, his childhood friend and the super scary captain he admires from afar come for him.
Rukia: Abarai! Abarai Renji!
Renji: K-Kuchiki Rukia, is that you?
Rukia: …
Rukia: You know, it hasn’t been *that* long since we were in school together. Why are we being so formal?
Renji: Well, from my side it’s mostly because of the scary, murderous look you have on your face.
Rukia: That’s fair.
7. Ichigo’s first big fight would be against Rukia.
And he’d nearly lose, too. Because in this universe, Rukia never hesitates to use her shikai.
Ichigo: Ice powers? Do all of you shinigami have elemental powers?
Rukia: How ignorant you are, fool!
Rukia: You don’t even know that my brother, a famous captain, has flower petal powers!
Ichigo: Flowers are basically an element.
Rukia: FLOWERS ARE SO NOT AN ELEMENT
8. In jail, Renji would mostly be sad about losing Rukia.
He just can’t get over how depressing his life became after he and Rukia went to shinigami school. First he ended up in the remedial class while Rukia went to the top, then she got adopted by some hot-shot captain, and then she became lieutenant. And Renji ended up as some unseated officer. It’s no wonder he’s about to be executed, he thinks.
Renji: Maybe if I had trained harder.
Renji: Maybe if I had practiced kido more.
Renji: I just got so tired of blowing myself up!!
9. But Rukia would defect to save Renji.
After her epic fight with Ichigo and 20 minute flashback, I mean.
Rukia: Ichigo, I am on my knees begging you! You have to save Renji!
Rukia: Because sure, he may be a big dumb idiot sometimes, but he is MY big dumb idiot!
Ichigo: …
Ichigo: Man. We’re both so shippy with that guy.
Ichigo: Is this an OT3 sort of situation, do you think?
Rukia: FOCUS
10. Rukia would have to fight Byakuya.
She’d meet Ichigo during his training for bankai, let him know that Renji’s execution has been moved up, and then go off to fight her captain and brother, Byakuya.
Byakuya: Rukia….are you really going to fight me, your brother, in order to defend a scruffy peasant?
Rukia: If I have to, yes!
Byakuya: Respect.
Rukia: What?
Byakuya: I mean I will never let you get away with this.
11. Ichigo would rescue Renji at the very last second.
And then do his best to strike a cool pose on top of the scaffolding…while holding Renji.
Renji: PUT ME DOWN
Ichigo: Dude, I carry a sword bigger than me. I’ve got this.
Renji: THAT ISN’T REALLY THE POINT
12. And would then throw Renji directly at Rukia.
This would not work as well as the opposite did in canon.
Rukia: WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOU FOOL?!
Renji: OH MY GOD I’M ABOUT TO KILL RUKIA
Ichigo: Wait, why did I think Rukia could catch Renji?
Ichigo: Oh well I’m sure it’ll be fine.