Oh it’s been so very long since I last wrote. I needed time. I needed to experience my first year “out there” so that I could really write. Write about everything and I’ll make sure not to leave anything out.
A year ago, my last blog, was about my family’s dismissive behaviour towards the love of my life. A year ago, my dad was the only one left in the dark about this because I was looking for the perfect timing. I knew the outcome. I knew it a year ago and at last after a year, I was only proven right. Ultimatum set by him, choose the family he says and leave him. Choose him and leave the family. So which is it going to be? I have thought about it, many many many times only to go around in circles. Why cant I have both? Why is it so easy for my father to give me such an ultimatum and why can he not consider or take into account anyone but himself? Enough with the questions though, perhaps I have the answers, yet deep down I do not want them to be true therefore suppress the truth. Because everyone knows, the truth hurts. So much that at this moment of time I have decided to play along as a happy family because for now, the hurting can temporarily be postponed. And even if it is for a short while, I rather be happy with the family before I make them aware of my decision.
The decision of my life so to speak. Its all set, I have done so much thinking in between changing jobs and working full time, and welcoming my beautiful niece to this world as well as keeping my parents happy and him happy. I have been flooded with so many emotions that really, I did not even have to even decide myself but life decided for me. And maybe that is the best of ways. I know from here onward I can count on him, fall back on him, love him and be with him. We have chosen each other through all that we’ve had to go through and still have to go through, we have always chosen us. And that is what made this decision so easy ( well i keep referring it to decision, but really its a choice).
So here it is for a shortened version of my year, I promise I will write more and more often again. I nearly forgot how good it feels to just write and lets the words write themselves.
Have a good summer!
xoxo