Dazai: How old were you guys when you found out Santa wasn't real?
Atsushi, whispering to Kunikida: How old am I?
Kunikida: You’re 18, Atsushi.
Atsushi, sadly: I was 18.
*skk flower shop au*
Chuuya, STORMING into the flower shop Dazai runs: *slams 20 bucks on the counter, startling him*
Chuuya: How do I passive-aggressively say “fuck you” in flower?
Dazai: *barely bats an eye after the initial shock* That depends on what you want. You could do geraniums for stupidity, foxglove for insincerity, yellow carnations for disappointment, or orange Lilly’s for hatred, anything else?
Chuuya:
Chuuya: … I think I’m in love with you.
Dazai: What?
Chuuya: What?
Dazai: Dear Santa,
Dazai: I’m writing to you because I know I’ve been naughty...
Dazai: And it was totally worth it, you judgmental bastard!