Dazai, pulling out an engagement ring: Got it a week after we first met.
Chuuya:
Chuuya, also pulling out a ring: Got it yesterday.
Dazai: My feelings for Chuuya are strictly platonic.
Ango: I see...What color are his eyes?
Dazai: Ocean blue, not in a weird way but in a way your ship can get lost in their waves and you’d never want to escape because it feels like an adventure and discovering new things in life...
Odasaku: Right...
Ango: What color are my eyes?
Dazai: Idk brown? Shut up Ango I'm talking about Chuuya.
Chuuya: *gets down on one knee*
Dazai, also getting down on his knees: What are we looking for?
Chuuya, who had been reaching for the ring in his pocket: Dude...
Atsushi: Chuuya kissed you?
Dazai, staring woefully out of his window: Aha...
Atsushi: And you said thank you…?
Dazai: Yeah...
Atsushi: Well that was very polite of you.
*meanwhile*
Chuuya: Thank you?!?! WTF DOES THAT MEAN?
Kouyou: He’s stupid Chuuya you know that!
Dazai: Dear Santa,
Dazai: I’m writing to you because I know I’ve been naughty...
Dazai: And it was totally worth it, you judgmental bastard!
Chuuya: I find that I adore a person pleasantly more if they can speak a second language, especially French.
Dazai: Ma ciao!
Chuuya:
Dazai, stumbling in through the window of Chuuya's room with a broken red rose in his mouth:
Chuuya, startled: What the fuck are you doing?
Dazai, falling on the floor: I’m trying to be romantic, shut up.
Chuuya: Am I the literal only gay man who likes cars?
Dazai, a dumbass: Idk why more gay people wouldn’t. Mater and Lightning’s relationship is pretty homoerotic???
Chuuya, stupefied:
Dazai:
Chuuya:
Dazai: Wait, fuck, did you mean like actual real cars?