If you don't confess your love to me in the pouring rain where the water runs down your face like tears and your hair is messed up in the sexy way and you're avoiding eye contact out of fear of rejection and my makeup is miraculously perfect after saving me from my loveless abusive relationship when you've been watching me be with that person for three years seven months and six days while pining for me all that time then what are you even doing besides wasting my time and yours
BUT
if you say anything even remotely sappy to me besides telling me that my outfit is hot or try to make me hold eye contact with you while you satisfy my soul deep need for validation I will hit you in the ballsack with a chair calculated by the force of my embarrassment and rage condensed into the state of a collapsing neutron star in the vacuum of deep space so don't even fucking try me