what if there was an au where Shadow is revived as a cat, but he has no idea by who or why he’s a cat all of a sudden. While trying to figure it out he ends up getting found by Red who’s like “aw cute homeless babyyyyy… mine now!” And adopts him, which is of course like “no, wait. fuck. nO. WHY” and he keeps trying to get away from them cause they’re gonna be furious when they figure out there cat is their old enemy and knowing his luck it’s only a matter of time. but Red’s very purrsistent and finally manages to drag him home and is like “HEY GUYS I GOT US A CAT!!” and the only one okay with this immediately is Vio, and Blue takes one look at him and is like “Shadow.” And of course Shadow panics a little because “Fuck I’ve been found out already!” But Red’s like “huh?” And Blue says “a black cat with red eyes and the look of a war criminal? Yeah, I’m naming him Shadow there is no other possible name for him.” And shadows like “rude” but then Vio chimes in with “yeah we can name him Shadow Meowthazar the floof wizard or something” and Red is like “YES” and Shadow already hates his new life.
and you know for a fact that people tell there cats shit they wouldn’t tell anyone else because why go to therapy when you have a cat right there. And Shadow’s mission goes quickly from “find out who brought me back” to “give these people as much aggressive cat therapy as possible ma gawd.”
Green teaches him tricks and stuff to prank the others and Shadow is 1000% down for this because now he has an excuse for knowing how to open doors and read and also gets the added bonus of fucking with everyone, his favourite person to fuck with is surprisingly Vio which is only partially Green’s fault with his subliminal messaging because Vio has all the best responses whereas Red chalks it up to magic floof wizard powers and Blue just gets really excited like “finally someone to do my paperwork” or “oh you helping out Vio” nod “okay good help him get his ass out of his room to participate in society next” salute “thanks bud *gives him a treat and a pat*”
What if someone breaks in one night while everyone’s sleeping (like a monster or something) and they wake up to the sounds of a their cat possibly dying and the intruder in pain and they rush downstairs to save their cat but he’s just sitting on top of his felled opponent seemingly unscathed (because shadow powers and quicker healing) and they’re like “shit I am so glad this cat like us” and Red is like “I hereby knight thee Shadow Meowthazar floof wizard the slayer of intruders lord of Vio’s dark armies” and everyone is like “yes” and except Vio who is like “lord of my what?” Shadow regrets everything in life.