I know it’s hard. It’s hard to watch your friends and family experience life as you were meant to. It’s hard to have to give up your passions because your body can no longer handle them. It’s hard to mourn a future you never had the opportunity to live. It’s hard to not be able to trust the one thing you’re stuck with, your own body. We are told to ‘look for the good’ or ‘find the positives’. I hate to say it but there are very few. Instead I look for the beauty. I look for the beauty in new device stickers with butterflies in them, in colourful fluffy socks for the handles of my crutches. I look for beauty in the quiet drips of transfusions and the gentle hum of life around the hospital. I look for beauty on the lanyards of my nurses and the laughter of others on my ward. The lives we live can suck, we aren’t dying but we aren’t given the chance to live. But, beauty exists all around us, if only we give ourselves a moment to truly look for it.
love,
a fellow spoonie who is very proud of you <3
me: *wants to do something* my body: hahaha, you thought wrong