The worst-off person at the end of The Old Guard isn’t Andy or Booker, it’s Copley. The man has the job of being the beard for this group of old assholes, half of whom are depressed and half of whom are in a perpetual honeymoon phase, plus one who has yet to figure out just what immortality means (PS. It means skiing off the top of Mt. Everest) When he goes to do the paperwork he’s astounded at how these people managed to stay a secret for any length of time in the 20th century and beyond. Andy has become an honest-to-god cryptid with a massive internet following (it would help if she’d just stop having one night stands and doing the ole’ love and leave em’ routine) Booker regularly goes gambling at and cleans out high-end casinos, which means he has literally every mob on the planet after his ass, Joe kills 100+ people every month for breathing in a way he didn’t certify near Nicky, and when Nile gets over the shock of things it dawns on her that she can do literally everything and anything and not die, which. is another type of hell altogether. Nicky is the only fairly normal one out of them all, until Copley finds out he secretly owns seventeen different fortune 500 companies and runs a black market or something, and Copley has to take a month off to fuck off back to Booker and just like. drink for ten days straight. This is a disjointed mess, and not even remotely meant to be taken seriously, but Copley probably thought he got off good by being made into the Guard’s secretary/PR man, but my point is that that is distinctly so NOT the case.