Crack Theory - Blog Posts

utahime scar theories? they can be a silly or canon-adjacent as you want. ive heard some pretty based things but some of them make me giggle

what do you guys think happened

Cracktheories About the Vanessaverse

Last year, @strange-aeons released a YouTube video about what she calls the Vanessaverse: the seemingly half-intentional alternate reality in which Netflix's Vanessa Hudgens Christmas movies are set. It is a deeply hilarious and fascinating video and you should watch it, if for no other reason that this long post will not make much sense otherwise.

Because, you see, I've been crack-theorizing about the Vanessaverse, and what I've come up with feels sound enough to share, at least on Tumblr.

I have two separate cracktheories, so let's establish some terminology and some common elements, first.

The Vanessaverse differs from our own in that much of Eastern Europe is controlled by an incredibly powerful, reality-warping entity that I call the Eldritch Master of Secular Christmas, or EMOSC for short. Who or what this entity is, and what its purpose is, differs between cracktheories. I call EMOSC's domain the Christmas Realm.

The Christmas Realm extends across southeastern Europe and possibly parts of western Asia. Outside this area, EMOSC's power to warp reality is severely limited. This is why Scotland and the US are (relatively) similar to the way they are in the real world. Montenero is a special case, it seems: an independent country on the fringe of EMOSC's influence, highly analogous to real-life Montenegro, and the location of choice for diplomats from the Vatican, or the rest of the world, to interact with EMOSC.

Native subjects of the Christmas Realm, however, and those around them, may be influenced by EMOSC wherever they are. This is one explanation for why seemingly unaffiliated protagonists and other characters wind up experiencing effects and narratives that should only occur within the Christmas Realm (but that commonly occur in highly sentimental straight-to-video movies). It's possible that EMOSC is able to psychically influence people whose ancestors came from the Christmas Realm, and those close to them.

So much for commonality. Let's get into the individual cracktheories about what's actually going on in these narratives.

Cracktheory 1: The characters of the Gaffer and the Crone are both aspects of the Eldritch Master of Secular Christmas, which manipulates its subjects according to strange and inscrutable whims, mostly revolving around matchmaking and the concept of secularized Christmas. Within the Christmas Realm, it is considered taboo to speak of Them or Their powers. Instead, one should pretend that events are entirely ordinary. It's possible that the Gaffer and the Crone are able to alter people's perceptions, so that they don't notice any contradictions. The latter would explain how the Gaffer and the Crone are able to create bizarre secular-Christmas situations ouside the Christmas Realm.

This version of EMOSC is fairly benign, actually, at least as far as we know. It seems to be managing Its own affairs, for the most part, occasionally calling a child of former subjects home, but little more. It seems to just like to mash the action figures together and make everything Christmassy.

In this theory, the self-referential Netflix Christmas movies are "based on a true story" or actually dramatized documentaries of some kind, made for an audience interested in EMOSC, but they respectfully obey the Christmas Realm's taboo and pretend EMOSC doesn't exist.

Cracktheory 2: EMOSC is, in fact, Vanessa Hudgens: a vast polydimensional, chrono-dynamic entity that can manifest a possibly infinite number of avatars of itself into multiple timelines broadly similar to our own. This is a more malevolent EMOSC, obsessed with stage-managing complex, WandaVision-like scenarios for its avatars and whoever catches its attention. It is even able to manifest avatars outside the Christmas Realm, although sometimes they end up looking a little less like EMOSC's chosen appearance as a human. The power and selfishness this implies makes this version of EMOSC seem like an incredibly dangerous entity to cross.

In this theory, the Gaffer and the Crone are avatars of a far older and more benevolent polydimensional entity, that is trying to contain Vanessa Hudgens and limit the damage It can cause to the Multiverse. This entity can't face EMOSC direcly, and has to resort to subterfuge and redirection in order to keep itself safe while still mitigating EMOSC's machinations. It seems to only be able to manifest one avatar at a time, although understanding how these entities interact with linear time is difficult for baseline humans.

Also in this theory, the self-referential Netflix Christmas movies are produced directly by EMOSC Itself, in furtherance of Its goals. They may actually have some sort of esoteric effect on baseline humans, but are also useful in reinforcing core Vanessa Hudgens characteristics on avatars that may be diverging from EMOSC's consciousness. It's also highly likely that they are EMOSC's way of creating an audience for the scenarios It likes to act out.

What are YOUR theories about the Vanessaverse?

That whole argument over Mor’s drawing in the cabin is ridiculous! it’s obviously

Rhysand + Tamlin

Cassian + Helion

Azriel + Eris

As the three forms with wings and the three with long hair

🙄

This last part feels like it’s feeding to the npc jax theory a little but it could make a lot of sense

Ya know I had a crack theory a while back that

Pomni was Tessa

Mainly because of the fact that cyn said this to Tessa

And since we all know what happened there

I thought, hey wouldn’t it be funny if Tessa was stuck in some digital space as a sort of way for cyn to keep her promise?

But that would be crazy right

RIGHT?

Episode 3 has even more similarities between them

Both of the manors look very alike

The angel and cyn both got their heads chop off

The wings of the angel also seem tohave a similar shape to the wings of disassembly drones

Heck the way how Martha sounds similar to Louisa

Do I even need to say anything for this

Ya know I had a crack theory a while back that

Pomni was Tessa

Mainly because of the fact that cyn said this to Tessa

And since we all know what happened there

I thought, hey wouldn’t it be funny if Tessa was stuck in some digital space as a sort of way for cyn to keep her promise?

But that would be crazy right

RIGHT?

There weren’t many examples that I can find in episode 1 of the amazing digital circus of similarities

mainly because Tessa only shows up for one episode and pomni was mainly focused on finding an exit

While you could see that Tessa trying break out of her chains as similar way of pomni trying to find exit

there are a lot more in episode two

For example Pomni treats gummigoo like a real and not just an NPC

She doesn’t leave gummigoo alone to find a way to map and doesn’t make him feel any less real then herself

She even offered him a place at the circus

It’s Similar to how Tessa treats the worker drones in the manor

She treats them like real people not just mindless servants that replaceable when they get broken or step out of line

Ya know I had a crack theory a while back that

Pomni was Tessa

Mainly because of the fact that cyn said this to Tessa

And since we all know what happened there

I thought, hey wouldn’t it be funny if Tessa was stuck in some digital space as a sort of way for cyn to keep her promise?

But that would be crazy right

RIGHT?

Ya know I had a crack theory a while back that

Pomni was Tessa

Mainly because of the fact that cyn said this to Tessa

And since we all know what happened there

I thought, hey wouldn’t it be funny if Tessa was stuck in some digital space as a sort of way for cyn to keep her promise?

But that would be crazy right

RIGHT?

Bill cipher = cyn Elliot

Eldricth horror Beings from another dimension

Omnipotent and omnipresent

All seeing eyes motif

Gold coloration

Has had a friendship with an important character before betraying them

Has possessed multiple vessels including the main character

Has been beaten by the main character’s family member

Have transformed into a much larger more monstrous version of themselves

Has destroyed their homeworlds and has caused chaos on the earth

Has created multiple monsters to hunt down humans

Has used human beings for their own entertainment

Insane

If kris was the knight that means they can make a dark world out of moss

Wait a minute…

The theorist part of my brain: I’ve connected the dots

The rest of my brain: you didn’t connect sh!t

Theory brain: I’VE CONNECTED THEM!!!!

Random welcome home crack theory, but what if we’re home?

Since the show is called “Welcome home” and Wally is welcoming us as a new neighbor essentially. So what if we’re home in some way?

This has got me thinking. What about other universes?

Does Good Omens reset to become weirder when they start to question if angels and demons are to fight humanity at the end of days? Does Deltarune ultimately become Undertale or vice versa when all is said and done?

This is all I have rn.

I've had this (silly) theory about h2g2 for quite some time now (maybe 10 years). (And it also now includes a theory about Discworld and the Stanley Parable btw.)

So, we all know that 42 is the answer to life, the universe and everything, and that the answer is not known in the universe. We also know that to obtain the answer a supercomputer had to be built and that it took millions of years to obtain that answer.

Now, at the start of the second book, it is mentionned the following:

'There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.'

Now, we can suppose that know both the question and the answer to life the universe and everything would be equivalent to discovering what the Universe is for and why it is here.

So, if as it is theorized, this has already happened, it could have happened more than one time. Maybe even 42 times? Leaving the question to be how many time the universe has exploded to become something weirder. Knowing that the universe only exists because it is meant to be something weirder than the previous universe, and had no other purpose or reason of existence than this.

Now, of course, this leaves a lot of unanswered questions. What happened to the first iteration of the universe? Why did it even exist? Was its reason for existence similar - that is that the universe was already meant to be destroyed - or was it completely different? Do one person needs to know both the question or the answer - would that perhaps be enough to drive someone to madness to the point it would destroy the universe ? - or does it simply needs to be know at some point in the universe? And also, how do we mesure weirdness? Is it something linear? Or does it varies randomly? As for someone living in a fantasy universe, with magic and gods, our universe would seems really strange and vice-versa.

And of course, with that theory, I've tried to find some other answers hidden in fictional universes, finding the hidden numbers that seems to give sense to the univers without having any other meaning.

For the discworld universe, the number that would make the most sense would be 8, as it is the number of magic, and also the number most present in the universe.

I've also considered DEATH to be the answer for Doctor Who, as there is a mini episode called 'death is the only answer', and while it would probably mostly refer to the concept of death, a string of letter can correspond to a number, if the counting system used is not decimal, and it would make sense for the result to come in the system used by the people looking for the answer.

When it comes to the Stanley Parable is where the second part of the theory gets interesting. There are two numbers in particular that have some sort of importance in the Stanley Parable: 427 and... 8. But 8 have already been attributed to the Discworld universe, so it can't be the one for the Stanley Parable right? Wrong. In the science of the Discworld, the wizzard end up creating a full universe, based only on science and not on magic: Earth (would that mean that the answer for our universe would be 8 as well? That's a possibility. Or perhaps it is another version of our world there.) So maybe the universe of the Stanley Parable had been created in the purpose of discovering of the meaning of their universe, as it was the case for Earth in the h2g2 universe. It would absolutely be something that the wizzard would have the power to do, leaving 8 being the answer, and one of the main numbers present in the tsp universe. But, if we want to go a bit further, maybe finding the answer was only one of the goals intended for the creation of this universe. Maybe the other goal was to create a simulation of the universe, starting from zero, to see how the universe reacts to the truth about it being known. And while it tries to calculate the answer for the Discworld universe, it alise runs a simulation, showing universes being created and replaced as their own truth is found out. And maybe in that case, in the tsp universe it already happened 427 times. Which leaves the final question of why the Discworld universe has not been destroyed yet at this point? Maybe they have managed to figure out the question before the answer, and run the simulation about what would happen if both were known and by seeing the result decided to never look up the answer. Maybe they still haven't checked the result at the moment this happens. Or maybe, it has. Maybe the Discworld universe is long gone, leaving behind just a simulation that just reached the iteration 427 and that will keep running for eternity.

a conversation with my lil sister became silly

i think we were talking about eggs and how both mammals and reptiles have them (technically)

and i came to the idea "what if the earth is an egg"

my sister went the serious route and was like "what no obviously not" me: "you dont know that uhh remember that one episode of dr who when the moon was an egg it could be like that" sis: "no its full of lava and stuff" me: "but what if thats the fluid it lives in while its in the egg like chickens and stuff" sis: "but the lava's too hoooott" me: "nuh uh it's an alien that can withstand the heat of a thousand suns" sis: "but the earth isnt an egg" me: "you dont know that" sis: "it's still not an egg" me: "but what if it is"

and it kinda just went like that for a bit lol

Honkai: Star Rail spoilers ahead! This theory is about major plot points of the Penacony Trailblaze quest! This theory was made in 2.0, so this will most likely be debunked or revealed in upcoming patches. Also, theres basically no evidence for this, it just seems right idk. Enjoy!

The little boy looking for Mikhail (the Watchmaker) in the real Dreamscape turned into the “Death” meme. After Amber Eras of frantically searching for Mikhail, he grew more and more miserable until he slowly turned into that meme monster. His consciousness, however, manifested into a separate being, known as Misha. He has no memories of his former life or what has become of his physical form. Thats why only Stelle can see him. Its cuz hes just consciousness. I don’t know what his relationship to Mikhail is, maybe he even is Mikhail, but either way, we’re gonna save Misha, unmonsterify the meme, and revive Firefly. Hopefully…

The Bsd "Fyodor is Atsushi's Father" Theory:

My Not-so-Deep, Not-so-Serious Explanation on Why This Could Totally be Canon

Signed: A Sleep-Deprived Idiot

(Spoilers for the Entirety of Bungou Stray Dogs)

So... with Chapter 118 in bsd releasing, I have noticed a lot of Fyodor as Atsushi's father related things popping up and... I'm not mad about.

If anything, I'm happy the theory is getting more attention. People even seem to be taking it as canon fact, even if just jokingly.

Really, I believed the theory was plausible since it first was brought up in the fandom, but I never actually thought it would be canon because that just seemed too crazy. But those were the thoughts of a sweet summer child since the manga has gotten to the point where that might be the least crazy thing possible.

So, here I am at my keyboard yet again, ready to ramble about how, if this does somehow turn out to be canon, this might be actually rather predictable even to those who don't dive deep into the nitty-gritty lore.

Now, I won't ramble on and on endlessly about the book and Atsushi's ambiguous past and how he may be the book or a page from the book and yaddy-yadda. Instead, I'll focus on some key aspects of Atsushi's character design. First off...

His hair.

As I said, this is not all that serious or deep, so take my words with a grain of salt before you start bashing me or something for being ridiculous. You signed up for ridiculous when you started reading past the title.

Anyway, back to Atsushi's hair.

As we almost all know, Atsushi used to have a black streak in his hair that was later removed for unknown reasons, but he also has white hair.

Now, I could jokingly proclaim, "Hehe, biologically impossible Fyodor x Nikolai lovechild," and be done with it, but I am no clown, unlike Nikolai. No, I have a better, probably completely wrong, idea.

Most of us know that Fyodor has a thing for white-haired men.

Exhibit A: Every fucking member of the Decay of Angels

I rest my case.

Also, I feel the need to mention that 3 out of 6 of them have red-ish eyes while the other two have purple-ish/blue eyes. Just pointing out that little tidbit I noticed while finding pics for them.

So, it would make sense for Fyodor to pick and choose which attributes to give to his quote-on-quote "son" when he made him from the book, picking out certain traits he found appealing and pleasing to the eye.

(Also, yes, this could mean that Fyodor could have chose specific attributes that were similar to Nikolai. Boom, lovechild route.)

This could explain certain similarities between the characters who seemingly have no biological connection between one another. Their only connection then only being through Fyodor by just knowing him.

Got all that? Alright, next up...

His eyes.

Now, Atsushi's eyes are rather unique, even for the world of Bungou Stray Dogs. What also sticks out about them is the fact that they are pointed out and focused in from time to time.

Example:

(Fucking gorgeous eyes he has, btw)

To break down the colors of his eyes... While in normal lighting in the anime, they appear to be normally purple and yellow with just a hint of green in it, but under the full moon (as seen here) we can see that his eyes are a light green-yellow at the bottom and purple on the top that fades into blue.

(There are also a few times where his eyes also change while using his ability. Like when they turn almost fully yellow.)

I want to point out the colors of his eyes and the fact that they change due to certain circumstances (i.e: using his ability, being under the full moon), which is clearly not normal in their world seeing as how other ability users don't seem to do that at all.

(Edit here: I actually would like to mention that, in the manga, Nikolai's eyes also change color. The green one sometimes will change to match his normal eye whenever he uncovers it. I saw a theory talking about how it might change depending on whether or not he is lying at the time, which is pretty neat. More Atsushi and Nikolai parallels.)

Now, this might seem like a bit of a stretch just like the rest of this post, but the colors used for his eyes are similar to the eye colors of people Fyodor knows, though they are different shades.

Purple like Fukuchi. Green and blue from Nikolai.

Fyodor's eyes are also a shade of purple, kind of, so... Yeah, that works too, but Fukuchi's shade of eyes are closer to Atsushi's.

Yeah, that's all I can think of now and this is already way too long (if I start talking about Atsushi's mysterious past, I'm going to make this a mile long. Maybe later tho), so I'm ending it here for now.

Alright, bye ya'll.

I have a theory about DNTTCH.

this has next to no evidence for it, but I've scraped what I could for this.

I belive that the kitten from the ending of the game might be I T. Let me try to explain.

First, visual similarities

I chose the images that look the most alike for this.

We know that the kitten and I T are of similar (if not the same) size. The kitten, being a real cat, looks more real, being scruffy and having whiskers. But their tails curl the same. The kitten has a visible nose, I T doesn't. They seem to be making the same expression though.

This part is admittedly a stretch, but if you look at it's eye, the colors match well with the glitchy dog frames.

Do you see the vision chat?

2nd, thematic relevance.

The kitten is obviously visibly beaten up. One of its eyes shut with a scar. One of it's eyes..?

One eye, you say?

One eye???

We also know that, in general, I T is incredibly weakened after you separate from it alongside the other victims. And the Kitten is clearly scuffed up even aside from the eye.

Do you see what I'm getting at, chat???

Okay but whats another term for this position of power? Prime Minister. And who was a prime minister? Harold Saxon, better known as the master

Mrs Flood called herself the governor. What’s a governor? The head of a governmental body of a particular region. What’s another term for this same position of power? A president. And who do we know who’s been the president of gallifrey? Romana.