Crying Throwing Up - Blog Posts
i SWEAR if i ever find who decided that canceling the Yuri on ice movie was okay… THEY WONT BE SURVIVING. WHY?! See you next level my ass bro.
They are so cute they make me angry and i need more. Thank you for listening to my ted talk. I’m gonna go take a walk so i stop hyperventilating 🤗
this is TOO CUTE
The next order of business is sprucing up Billy’s pasture. The cow and horse alternate fields because otherwise they’d be living in a mud pit, so while they are elsewhere, Steve, Robin, and the original Billy patch up the grass with seed, protective straw, and start the labor of digging a ditch around the field’s fencing.
“It’s for rain runoff,” Steve countered to Robin’s complaints.
“Whatever. I was promised wildflowers. This is not wildflowers,” she huffed, slamming a shovel down and her boot following suit.
“You’ll get your frigging wildflowers. First dig, then flower seeds.”
this was shoutos dream :') my shaylaaa
also not sure if touya would have scars
(・ε・｀ )
it’s so scary to think that in a few months i’ll be over 500km away from my family. From my mom. Being completely responsible for myself.
Even though I’ve always been in love with the idea of being independent, lately I just wish I could stay a kid forever. I believe what hurts me the most about growing up is leaving old me behind. I miss my six year old soul, I don’t wanna miss seventeen.
untitled
it took me some time
admitting to myself that I like you
a hopeless romantic through and through
and it still embarrasses me saying it out loud
It's been so long since I've fallen for someone
so genuinely and wholeheartedly
someone who makes my heart race and stop
at the same time
someone unremarkably smart and oblivious of my feelings
at the same time
I'm not the kind of girl who would fall so deeply for another person
usually my infatuation doesn't last long
I want to ask my heart why it is
that you are so different from the others
Slowly I realise that I don't really need an answer to that
and if there is one then it will most likely be the
continuous looking for you in crowds,
trembling legs and hands when I see you,
my heart accelerating
and my neverending attentiveness to everything you do
I'm not doing good 😁
Something that really fucks me up is this scene where Robin says she wants to die and how Luffy makes this face
And upon reading this for the first time, I felt a huge wave of emotion over his expression because it just felt to me like when he heard that, he was seeing something else. Almost like a memory that we weren't being shown.
And then later when Ace and Luffy's backstory plays out, this is revealed;
That Ace was suicidal. Feeling like it was wrong for him to have even been born and to live. Feeling hurt, angry, alone and unwanted.
And that the only reason he felt like he had the strength to keep living was because Luffy told him that he didn't want him to die.
Ace never directly told Luffy that he wanted to kill himself. But with the way he carried himself and the obvious disregard he had for his life, it was easy to see for someone as empathetic and intuitive as Luffy. And so Luffy stayed close to Ace desperately until he felt strong enough to stand on his own.
Luffy has had so many suicidal people in his life since such a young age and he always saves them in such a seemingly effortless way just by saying
"I'll be there with you. I'll stay."
But what alot of people don't understand is that in spite of Luffy's endless empathy, compassion and love that's deeper than the ocean, when somebody he loves wants to die it always hurts him so bad and it shows so much on his face at even a hint of it.
He bounces back with a smile so often and kicks so much ass that it's so easy to forget sometimes that he's just this 17-19 year old kid...
Who, at his core, is still always crying and begging the people he loves not to leave him because he doesn't want to be alone anymore, either.
Oh, his heart! Oh, my heart! Oh, all our hearts!
based on a true story!
Devin Kelly, from “All That Wanting, Right?”
why aren't beatles fans talking more about that song "I don't know (oh johnny johnny)"? I think it is such an insane piece of media lol
McLennon Playlists
I have been working putting together some McLennon playlists. I mean "McLennon" pretty broadly and vaguely with these lists, so choose your own adventure. It's a useful short portmanteau for for the creative partnership of Lennon/McCartney. But I do also think there is a powerful human relationship here, disregarded from the classic Beatles narrative. And I think this relationship is pivotal to much of their songwriting.
This is a work in progress but here are the acts so far:
Act I: The Beatles before India '68. This is a foundational period. For the most part, I don't think these songs are consciously referencing each other. Rather, they providing a foundation for future references. That said, I think Hide Your Love Away deserves a second look.
Act II: The Beatles after India '68. The contrast is remarkable. Not everything on this list is written by Lennon/McCartney. I think George's While My Guitar Gently Weeps is actually the best expression for the whole time. Anyway, they're breaking up. Passionately. Chronology is a total mash since most of these songs were written or produced in a small period of time.
Act III: The 70's up through approximately 1975. Here especially the chronology of songs begins to be sacrificed for highlighting some back and forth. I personally find their mirroring right after the Beatles--with the front and center band wives and antipodal messages right when they're sending each other cutting missives through hit singles--hilarious. But after that you get this escalating back and forth in moods. Still sent through international hits! Lol. Which they simply presume will work. Anyway, if you listen in order, the positivity increases. Unfortunately, a playlist shift is required once John returns to Yoko in 75ish.
Act IV: '76ish through 1980. After a period of musical productivity and reconnecting with old friends including McCartney, John returns to Yoko. Let's not weight into that but merely note that it changes all music vibes for both musicians. John goes completely silent for 5 years, except for later release home demos. (I'm using Spotify for this which doesn't have most of Lennon's demos unfortunately. But the demos for Free as a Bird and Real Love are recorded during this time so those songs are included. Now and Then demo also, but c'mon let's save that.) McCartney in the meantime writes a series of IMPASSIONED songs about things like his baby who won't call him back, and his lover who needs to beware. Idk what is going on with Wings in production, but LIVE he is absolutely wailing. He starts '76 going on tour worldwide with every song so far I would ever include in these lists. He wails into that void so hard... Things dip, but then escalate back up in 1980. Coming Up. Starting Over Again. But then unfortunately...
Act V: Post Dec 8, 1980. Pending. There's a lot here, but it's so sad it's taking me awhile.
Please contribute suggestions if I've missed relevant songs!
I'll be working on providing more details explanations of some song inclusions.
Paul singing Here Today in 2004. He repeats the "I Love You" part four times
the fact that john’s august 1980 demo of (just like) starting over had the lines:
“the time has come the walrus said
for you and me to stay in bed again
it’ll be just like starting over”
which in the final version of the song (recorded in october 1980) was changed to the section we all know is a clear reference to paul:
“it’s time to spread our wings and fly
don’t let another day go by, my love
it’ll be just like starting over”
yeah there’s no heterosexual explanation for that. especially since ‘another day’ was one of the songs referenced about paul in how do you sleep?. and absolutely mad that allegedly paul and john were making plans to record together in december of 1980 that got pushed back to the new year - which, if true, they likely were already speaking (excitedly) about these plans by october 1980. not to mention that john himself said that the song was written with his old friends from the 60s in mind….
Having a traumatic childhood means you cannot talk even objectively about your basic foundational experiences without it being "venting", even if you're not actually venting. You just straight up have a huge chunk of your life you can't talk about, full stop, without it being trauma dumping.
And it not being socially acceptable to talk about your own childhood is super alienating. Sometimes people want to know why, and any answer you can give them is going to be off putting.
It's to the point I get irritated when something I said is framed as venting when I'm literally just talking about my life experiences, doing my best to keep emotion out of it.
Janet Fitch, White Oleander // Charles Bukowski, Ham on Rye // Gail Carson Levine, "Fairest" // Anne Sexton, A Self-Portrait in Letters // Hieu Minh Nguyen, "Pig" // Valentina-Remenar on DeviantArt // Ashe Vernon, Not A Girl
i wanna go back and hug my younger self so bad, that little girl went through so much