Dadstantine - Blog Posts
i searched for copper...instead, i found gold
LETS GOOOOOOOO
at this point, the whole magic community is just one clusterfuck for the JL
Billy and John play father and son out in public so Billy just starts calling him dad regularly and it becomes an inside joke. it slips out once when theyre around the league and everyone is like ????? bonus: Billy got tired of saying House Of Mystery every single time so he started just staying HOM and it eventually just turned into home so everyone is convinced theyre related
AWW YEAHHHHH (i didn't know if this was a fic request or not so i put this ask into a plot idea)
the league's got a disguise/infiltration mission one day, and john and cap are like, "we'll take care of this," and the league is like "alright," thinking that john will be with cap's civilian identity
the mission day comes, and the league is gaping at john having a kid/bruce wayne look-alike. john comes up with an excuse that cap's sick and he's gotta stay at the HOM to heal. billy's done with everything (specifically when diana or clark argue that a child is on a dangerous mission).
they do the mission, succeed, and everyone goes home. except the leaguers have a crisis whenever or not billy is john’s child, batman’s child, both, or cap’s. next day they probably have another crisis because john’s dating/married cap but why does their child look like bruce???? and isn’t john in a relationship with zatanna????
im also sure that some league members will come up with a poly relationship chart to decipher what kind of relationship john, billy, zatanna, captain marvel, that pet tiger they have (for some reason, the leaguers are terrified), the taxi driver and the HOM have.
they now think john’s got a poly relationship with john, cap, zatanna and (possibly) the weird taxi driver, adopted a tiger and an accident of one of bruce wayne’s affairs and bought a funky house.
this is everything i got ig
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BONUS (sorry for the low quality):
(i am very funny)
john telling billy to get beer for him from the local liquor (forgetting that billy is a minor in the process) is something that i think he’d do
FINALLY (i tried to get this out as soon as possible)
chapter two snack mmm
John: let me see what you have!
Billy: A knife! ( Turn his attention to a demon or something)
John: Good, aim for the stomach
Billy: (covered in blood) That was fun.
John: (also covered in blood) You did good, I say this calls for ice cream
(Cut to Billy and John eating ice cream, while a horrified shopkeeper watches)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/31835872/chapters/78818827
have this (and cringe at my attempt at humor)
(mmm adventures of tired+bitchass DILF constantine and a swearing sunshine 12 year old kid) this is a horribly long list im sorry; im adding to the "john and shazam are dating misunderstanding" hc i saw when browsing
~
due to billy's reaction at canary telling him that john kissed zantanna, word gets around that john is lowkey polyamorous
~
the engagement party is somewhat awkward cuz john and billy are like: ??? what????
billy, as he sees john being congratulated on his "engagement" by the members of the jl: is john getting married to zantanna?
~
i said this before but when the league sees john with billy (without him being shazam/chilling in his true form), everyone assumes that billy’s john and shazam’s adopted kid
green arrow: how's life with your dads?
billy, in his true form, confused: don't you mean dad?
~
when billy (as shazam) accidentally stubs his toe onto something hard, the jl hears the loudest "FUCK!" from him and thinks that he's gotten into john's swearing habits
superman: i see you have gotten some...habits
billy, who swears like a sailor all the time and thinks superman is mentioning his lessons with john: okay???
This is fantastic and cursed, I love it.
~
Captain Marvel: (Injured)
Superman: (panicking) You’re husband is coming soon, just hang in there.
Captain Marvel, who is too injured to understand what was just said to him: k
~
John: He’s a handful to put to bed.
Captain Marvel: Hey, it’s not my fault I want to keep playing!
The entire league, not knowing Cap was talking about animal crossing: 😶
reblogging this because this is going to be inspiration for a fic
(mmm adventures of tired+bitchass DILF constantine and a swearing sunshine 12 year old kid) this is a horribly long list im sorry; im adding to the "john and shazam are dating misunderstanding" hc i saw when browsing
~
due to billy's reaction at canary telling him that john kissed zantanna, word gets around that john is lowkey polyamorous
~
the engagement party is somewhat awkward cuz john and billy are like: ??? what????
billy, as he sees john being congratulated on his "engagement" by the members of the jl: is john getting married to zantanna?
~
i said this before but when the league sees john with billy (without him being shazam/chilling in his true form), everyone assumes that billy’s john and shazam’s adopted kid
green arrow: how's life with your dads?
billy, in his true form, confused: don't you mean dad?
~
when billy (as shazam) accidentally stubs his toe onto something hard, the jl hears the loudest "FUCK!" from him and thinks that he's gotten into john's swearing habits
superman: i see you have gotten some...habits
billy, who swears like a sailor all the time and thinks superman is mentioning his lessons with john: okay???
This is fantastic and cursed, I love it.
~
Captain Marvel: (Injured)
Superman: (panicking) You’re husband is coming soon, just hang in there.
Captain Marvel, who is too injured to understand what was just said to him: k
~
John: He’s a handful to put to bed.
Captain Marvel: Hey, it’s not my fault I want to keep playing!
The entire league, not knowing Cap was talking about animal crossing: 😶