Monstertober Day 8
Pairing: Incubus!Bucky Barnes x Reader
Warnings: Initial Somnophilia, dub con, kind of rape, insults/degrading language, biting, scratching, marking, mentions of blood, womb tattoo/sigil, dumbification, aphrodisiac, vibrator, p in v, overstimulation, cunnilingus, demon summoning, beefy!bucky, condescending!Bucky, dark!bucky, praise, fluff
Nicknames: Angel, Doll, sweetness
Word count: 2.5k
A/N: Iâm so sorry this is late, I was extremely busy on Halloween with teacher training and university work. But this concludes Monstertober, I have some exciting things planned for November.
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CandlesâŠYou look around your floor surrounded by heaps of softly glowing candles, their flames waning and brightening again and again as the flame danced in the draft of your room. âCheck.â you murmured, casting your eyes back to the grimoireâs aged pages; squinting in the darkness of your room trying to see the faded ink more clearly âstupidly complicated pentagram that took me multiple attempts and almost two hours to draw. Check.â You huffed glaring down at the pentagram drawn in white chalk on your floor, the edges smudged ever so slightly from where youâd repeatedly rubbed it away, only to redraw it wrong again. âAn offering.â The book had not specified the offering that you had to provide for the demon, it simply said offering in intricate calligraphy â,how very helpful.â Grumbling you crouched to your knees, placing the grimoire down and scooping up your pile of âofferingsâ depositing them at random in a small circle inside your pentagram. Your offerings, if you could even call them that, consisted of a some loose change youâd found under and behind furniture, some candies you had lying around from halloween that the children hadnât taken, a lock of your hair and a deeply personal itemâwhich was the only clear instruction in the list, and you had chosen your trusty pink vibrator. Looking at the pink vibe on the floor made you want to crawl out of your skin in embarrassment, but it made the most sense since it was very deeply personal.
You picked the book back up and seated yourself in the centre of the summoning circle, you could feel your heart rate spike as you glanced down at the page for the summoning words. Your hands shook, palms growing cold and sweaty as you began âHeed my call, hear my cry may it lead you to me from your realm far away. I command you to my side so that we may make a contract.â You bite down on your finger drawing blood and swipe it across the floor âSee me now and let me see you.â You blow out the candles around you and wait. You gulp as you sit cross legged in the dark, waiting. The sound of your breathing and your blood rushing makes the silence unbearable.
Nothing happens.
After sitting there for five minutes, you climb to your feet defeated. Tears on your waterline as you throw the book to the floor and flop into bed. You felt so stupid for even thinking that something like that would work, you feel the full weight of your adrenaline rush crashing to ground as curl under your covers rocking yourself to sleep s you mentally prepare for the rent payment tomorrow.
The blown out candles relight simultaneously as he steps out of the red swirling portal âYou called?â He looked down expecting to see the person who summoned him, but he found the chalk pentagram staring back at him. He bends down, picking up the book youâd thrown harshly to the floor with a frown. He dusts off the grimoire, tracing the embossing in the leather cover with his blackened fingers, turning down the heat of his brimstone skin so the book doesn't burn. From the corner of his eye he catches your body shifting under the covers. He sets the grimoire gently on your chest of drawers and pads over to your bed âWake up my little sleeping Angel.â He whispers in a gravelly tone, forming an âoâ with his reddened lips and blowing a stream of cold air against your ear lobe making you stir. He seats himself on the edge of your bed trailing his hand across your sleeping form âYouâre wearing too much for my liking. Let me help you with that.â He threw the covers off of you and turned you more on to your back so he could peel your baggy shirt off, moving as quiet as a mouse. You were left only in a pair of panties, your comfortable pair that you wore when you knew no one would be seeing them, Bucky smiled at them thumbing the fabric adoringly. He ran his fingers across the middle of your panties till a soaking crease was visible. âAlready so horny for me, naughty little human.â Bucky pulled down your panties, taking them into his hand to see the clear, sticky proof of your arousal. He tossed the panties already able to smell the thick scent of your arousal, he knew he had to taste you. He dipped his head down, running his tongue through your folds, groaning at the taste of you. He decided there and then he was going to claim you as his. He sucked on his fingers, getting them wet, before inserting them inside of you. Your walls drew him in, clamping so tightly around his fingers that he could barely move them. His hardened cock twitched as he imagined sliding into you, pounding you awake watching as your pleasured cries turned into pleas for him to stop. He had to stop a wicked grin from spreading across his lips. âYouâve been neglected for so long, Pet. Buckyâs gonna change that donât you worry sweetheart. Who would neglect such a pretty pussy, so fucking tight.â His fingers start to glide through your spasming walls as they adjust to the thickness of his fingers. He targets the spongy spot inside you, debaucherous wet sounds filing the sleepy silence of your room. He paused as a soft mewl left your lips, your body shifting and your fisted hands tightening their hold on your pillow. He continued his ministrations even as your eyes fluttered open and you finally came to, your pleasured babbling pausing. You stared, horrified at the man sitting at the edge of your bed. Your eyes travelled up to the black horns on his head that looked like a ram's horns then down his red eyed that even in the darkness stuck out like a sore thumb, they shone like road studs in headlights stealing your attention before he opened his mouth displaying sharp, white teeth âThanks for summoning me, Angel. I can see why you needed an incubus. You seem to be very pent up, but I can fix that for you.â His deep melodic voice made the initial stress you felt drift far away. You gaze drops downwards following the muscle of his neck down to the imposing bulk of his shoulders and arms, the rise and fall of his burly chest becoming hypnotising as his scent reaches your nostrils a mix of myrrh and musk that has your head swimming making you completely forget what he said. The feel of his rough palm cupping your cheek anchors you âI said, thank you for summoning me, Angel.â
âI didnât summon an incubus. You- You have the wrong house.â
âNo need to be coy. Itâs fine to need a bit of help.â
âNo, I genuinely didnât summon an incubus. I wanted to Summon a demon that could help me. I'm working two jobs, Iâm exhausted, the cost of everything is rising and I just canât anymore. I'm running myself into the ground. I must have summoned the wrong type of demon.â
âAh, that's Ariâs department. Iâd contact him, but heâs a bit busy with a few cultists. So I guess youâre stuck with me for the time being, but I can help you in a different way, Doll.â His other hand reaches to the side of him and heat floods your cheeks as your eyes lock on the pink vibrator he has between his fingers. He pops it into his mouth like a hard candy and sucks it a little before spitting it back into his palm, pressing the button to turn it on âNice and ready for you.â He chides, slipping his fingers out of your tight heat replacing the emptiness with the warmed, whirling vibrator. You feel your stomach constrict in pleasure as he guides the pink bullet in further with his fingers, positioning it right against your sweet spot. Shooting you a knowing smile as you sob your walls fluttering around his fingers as you convulse âSuch a good girl for me, coming all over my fingers.â Bucky coos taking the vibe out from inside you bringing it to the head of his weeping cock moaning as he rubs it against his precum leaking slit, pumping his length with his other ashen hand âTime for you to take me sweetness.â You try to scramble away from him but he was much quicker than you, sensing your fear before it had even registered inside your brain. His warm rough palm seized your thigh pulling you back in position.
âIt wonât fit! Youâre going to tear me in two. Please can you just forget I summoned you.â
âOh, Doll, thatâs not how this works. You summoned me, I have duties to fulfill and in exchange for said duties I get your soul. Iâm not leaving, this will not be forgotten. Regardless, you need to breathe; Iâm not going to âtear you in twoâ that sigil on your womb will make sure of it and make it pleasurable whilst I do. So calm down for me, I donât like it when humans make my job more difficult than it has to be so behave and youâll be rewarded.â His threats wrapped up in a sweet tone making it seem as if he wasnât patronising you. Despite this you began to calm down, wrapping your legs around his hips and controlling your breathing. Your eyes drifted down his muscular torso, focusing on the intricate tattoo like patterns on his skin to relax your mind. The tattoos brought you down to the deep âvâ line of his pelvis and back to his veiny member which he was prodding to your entrance. You were pulled out of the trace-like state that his prominent veins had put you in, as he bottomed out in you until your walls were stretched taut around his meaty shaft. He stays still until the burn subsides, watching as your eyes gain a hazy, spaced out glaze and your mouth drops open in an inaudible moan. He pulls out and thrusts so hard into you that your bed scoots under the force, the sound of skin slapping skin echos through your small room as Bucky snaps his hips into you pushing himself deeper and deeper each time, his movements are slow yet rough making you feel every inch of him as he fucks into your tight heat. A surge of heat spread all the way from your hips to the sole of your feet and the tips of your fingers, you felt almost drunk on pleasure, every single thrust of his hips renewing the heat. Your whole body tingles as he presses the vibrator to your clit âGod!â You scream as your legs wrapped around his waist begin to shake.
âOh no sweet little Angel, God isnât here. In this room, right now, I am your God. You worship me. I give you pleasure.â He purrs, swirling the vibe on your pulsing pearl as he angles the tip of his cock to hit your sweet spot over an over, drawing the orgasm building inside of you to the surface making you cum with a whimpering cry.
The sound of your blood rushing in your ears filled your senses as you came down from your high, even as you came back to your senses you felt much more distanced from reality; your body felt as if it was submerged in a warm bath, and slowly but surely you were sinking below the water. Your break was cut short by Bucky continuing his thrusts, his hand pressing the vibrator to your now throbbing clit didnât budgeâhe instead pushed down more harshly on your clit making your legs quake uncontrollably âHnng! Please!â Was all you could force out before your tongue became useless, lolling out of your mouth. You came again with a shout, clawing Buckyâs back with your nails as you threw your head back into the pillow, your back arching even further into the air. You came so hard you forgot how to breathe, a heavy weight crushing your chest, as you slumped back into the mattress trying your hardest to breathe Bucky finally removed the vibe from your raw little nub. His palm flattened against your stomach where the sigil was placed rubbing a slow circle that set your nerves on fire, before he brought his hand up to the bulge in your stomach and pressed harshly with his thumb tearing a whimper from your throat.
âFuck you can see me inside of you, Angel. Iâm all up in your guts rearranging them. Turning you into the perfect little cock sleeve, gonna make sure I ruin you for any other man. Oh wait, you won't be taking any other man after me. Because; You. Belong. To. Me.â Her punctuated every word with a rough thrust, bashing your cervix which would usually hurt but whatever he did gave you a supreme, otherworldly amount of pleasure âthe sigil is almost full, one more orgasm and my seed should be enough to fill it. Do you think you can take it?â He questions a small smile gracing his lips as he awaits your answer, but all you can do is mumble âSo fucked out that you canât even form a sentence, your heads probably so empty right now, my little fuck doll. Itâs okay, you donât need to think, Angel, let me do that for you; canât expect a dumb little human like you who canât even read the pages of a very clear, simple book correctly.â His hand slithers up your body towards your neck, wrapping around your throat before he starts to apply pressureâobserving as your body begins to melt into the mattress. His thrusts continued and paired with the lack of oxygen bright flashes of white flicker across your vision. All your nerves began to thrum as you felt another orgasm coming, your wall clamped around him as you got closer to the edge. You could feel his cock twitching inside you, he released your neck allowing air to flow back into your lungs as he dipped his head down to your shoulder inking his teeth into your skin. The overwhelming sensations of lightheadedness, pleasure and pain threw your senses into orbit as you came your pussy squeezing his cock as you raked your nails across his back hard enough to draw blood. Bucky gave a few more weak, uncoordinated thrusts before he painted your insides with a wanton moan gripping the pillow hard enough for it to tear. You could barely comprehend your surroundings, you felt as if you were made of air and if Bucky let go of you youâd dissipate. Your heart hammered against your rib cage, as you stared up at Buckyâs handsome face; his sweat darkened hair glued to his forehead. He let out a chuckle, his hand caressing the sigil at your womb âHappy Halloween, Angel. This is the last one youâll ever have to spend alone. The contract has been made and now, you belong to me. Forever.â
Tag list: @alina02 @winterslove1917 @unabashed-lover-of-fictional-men @petesey @getwellsoontana @feyfantome @alexxavicry @ashenc-blog @floral-recs @renster05 @redbloodedgurl @shrekwreck @sweetwrathoflilith @cjand10 @flamefoxxrecs @addie5587483 @little-bunny0523 @sojuxxi @adoreyouusugar @teambarnes72 @wintasssoldier @gryffindorqueensworld @aerangi @itwillgetbetter @taramaria @anniellacinamon @inlovewithremusjohnlupin @teddybearsgrr
Welcome to
Monstertober
à©â©â§âË* à©â©â§â* à©â©â§âË* à©â©â§â* à©â©â§âË* à©â©â§â* à©â©â§âË* à©
Itâs everyoneâs favourite time of the year, Halloween season which means monster fucking time
This year Iâll be participating in Monstertober, but my own version thatâs more spaced out so I have time to do what I need to do and get this out for you guys.
Everything in this series is Dark!, no fluff, gentleness or consent in sight. As as result of this READ THESE AT YOUR OWN RISK YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE MEDIA YOU CONSUME. My blog is 18+ you have been warned.
Most of these fics constitute as: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat
As they are uploaded links will be added
Tag list đ
The Lineup:
đDay 1 - 1st October
Werewolf!Bucky Barnes x Reader
Warnings: Dub con, Beastiality, Dead dove: Do not eat, chasing, sex in a forest, scratching, biting, belly bulge, angst, near death, dacryphilia, bruises (not the kinky kind), begging (for him to stop), apologetic!bucky, beefy!bucky, lumberjack!bucky
đDay 2 - 5th October
Orc! Bucky Barnes x reader
Warnings: Non conâDub con, Dead dove: Do not eat, insults/degrading language, forced breeding, forced impregnation, drastic size difference, belly bulge, blood mention, virgin!reader, hair pulling, cowgirlâmating press, dacryphilia, dark!bucky, threat of violence
đDay 3 - 12th October
Scarecrow!Ari Levinson x Reader
Warnings: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, serious Non con, death, mentions of blood, asphyxiation/choking, bruises (not the kinky kind), Beefy!Ari (6,8ft), size difference, held down, chasing, p in v
đDay 4- 16th October
Vampire!Bucky Barnes x Reader
Warnings: Non conâDub con, near death, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, dacryphilia, marking/biting, bruises (not the kinky kind), scratching, choking, spiting, making you drink your own blood, utter filth
đDay 5 - 19th October
Mummy!Steve Rogers x Reader x Jackal!Bucky
Warnings: Dub con, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, asphyxiation/ choking, scratching, marking/biting, mentions of blood, threesome, Stucky x Reader
đ Intermission - 23rd October
Lloyd x Reader: Pumpkin carving Drabble
Warnings: knife play, mostly fluff, reader has sensitive ears, hand kink, scent kink, reader being a brat, marking/ hickeys/ biting, implied smut
đDay 6 - 26th October
Swamp monster!/Siren!Bucky Barnes x Reader
Warnings: Non con, death, Dead dove: do not eat, dark!bucky, beefy!bucky, forced breeding, p in v, anal fingering, sex in a forest, sex near a pond, drowning, marking/biting, mentions of blood, scratching, choking, praise, delusional!Bucky, victim!reader
đ intermission - 29th October
Ransom Drysdale x Reader: Cookies Drabble
Warnings: cunnilingus, tooth rotting fluff, baking with Ransom, undertones of power imbalance, Ransom is a bit of a douche, innocent!reader, implied smut
đDay 7 - 30th October
Occultist!Stucky x Reader
Warnings: Non con!!!, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Death, reader is a sacrifice, knife play?, mentions of blood, public sex, voyeurism, humiliation, implied cult, mystery demon, choking, blood kink, Dark!Stucky, p in v, oral (male receiving) , spitting in readers mouth, dacryphilia, manipulation, betrayal of trust, psychological + emotional abuse
đDay 8 - 31st October
Incubus!Bucky Barnes x Reader
Warnings: Initial Somnophilia, dub con, kind of rape, insults/degrading language, biting, scratching, marking, mentions of blood, womb tattoo/sigil, dumbification, aphrodisiac, vibrator, p in v, overstimulation, cunnilingus, demon summoning, beefy!bucky, condescending!Bucky, dark!bucky, praise, fluff
Pairing: Demon!Bucky Barnes x Angel!reader
Summary: You met him at the border between realms every solstice. Neither of you spoke of the war or how many souls were claimed. You simply watched the stars together, two entities out of place, bound by quiet conversation and the kind of silence that speaks more than words ever could.
Word Count: 2.5k+
A/N: This takes place in the winter solstice by the way! I had this idea earlier and hope you like it as much as I did. I tried to do more descriptive language/scenes. This has ANGST and is left on a cliffhanger by the way. References to a war too, but not explored. Happy reading!
Main Masterlist
The sky was a tapestry of frozen silence.
Stars flickered like dying embers, scattered across the heavens above the boundary. The solstice wind stirred the trees into brittle whispers, and the snow under your feet crunched with every tentative step. You shouldnât have been there. Angels werenât meant to wander so close to the borderland, not without orders, not without reason.
But tonight, something had drawn you in. A pull like a thread around your ribs, subtle but unyielding. You followed it, quiet, unsure, your wings folded close to your back like a secret you weren't ready to share.
And then, you saw him.
At first, you thought it was a shadow. A patch of darkness that refused to yield to the moonlight. But no. He moved. Slowly, with the weariness of someone who had lived through too many endings.
He knelt in the snow near a half-dead tree, one hand buried in the frozen soil, fingers clenched like he could still hold onto something that had long since slipped through. Smoke curled faintly around him, not from fire, but from him. It coiled at his shoulders like a protective beast, breathing in rhythm with the rise and fall of his chest.
You froze when you realized who he was. A demon.
Not just any demon, him. The Winter Demon. The one they spoke of in the higher halls. The one who fell long ago but never quite burned out. You recognized him from the whispers. A former soldier. A shattered soul. A blade that had once been wielded by hell itself.
Your hand moved instinctively toward the hilt of your blade, but you didnât draw it. Something in you held back.
He didnât move or flinch. Didnât seem surprised by your presence either.
âI thought angels didnât walk this far down,â He spoke in a voice low and rough, like it had been dragged through gravel and time. âUnless theyâre looking for a fight.â
You hesitated. âIâm not here to fight.â
He chuckled, but it was a hollow sound. âThatâs what the last one said.â
You stayed silent, watching him closely. He didnât turn. Didnât rise. Just kept his hand in the dirt, like it was the only thing anchoring him to the moment.
The wind stirred again, ruffling the edges of your robes. Your wings shifted restlessly, feathers rustling with unease.
âIâm not here on Heavenâs orders,â You finally answered, your voice barely audible over the wind. âI came because⊠I felt something. A pull.â
âFunny,â He muttered. âSo did I.â
That made you blink.
He finally looked up, just enough for you to see his face, half-shadowed, but unmistakable. There was no cruelty there. No hunger for sin or conquest. Just exhaustion. Blue eyes that had seen centuries of death, hands that had done terrible things, and yet, beneath it all, still remembered mercy.
âI should leave,â You said quietly, unsure whether it was directed to him or to yourself.
âThen why havenât you?â
The question hung in the cold air between you like an open wound. You didnât give him an answer because truthfully, you didnât have one. So you stayed.
Not close and not far. Just within sight. The two of you sat there, separated by ruthlessness and faith, by war and fire, peace and light. You didnât speak again that night. You just watched the stars together.
And for a brief moment, the world felt like it had paused. As if Heaven and Hell had looked the other way, just long enough for two things that should never coexist to breathe in the same silence.
When you finally rose to leave, he didnât stop you. But he didnât look away either. And somehow, you knew youâd see him again. And you did.
You never ask his name.
He never asks yours.
Thereâs no point, not here, not in this place where names donât hold power, where they melt into the snow like forgotten prayers. You know what he is and he knows what you are. That remains enough for now.
Solstice after solstice, you come back to the edge of the world, to the boundary where no song from Heaven reaches and no scream from Hell echoes. The silence here is sacred in its own way. Unclaimed. Unwatched. It belongs only to you and to him.
This time, you arrive before he does. The frost has crept higher since last year, lacing the dead branches in silver threads that catch the moonlight like cobwebs made of glass. You sit on a stone half-buried in snow, your wings draped around your shoulders like a cloak.
You don't wait long before you feel him.
Not see. Feel.
The temperature shifts subtly. The wind thickens. The smell of ash and old iron fills the air.
He walks through the trees as though they part for him, his breath visible in the cold. The same worn coat, the same heavy boots. The metal of his left arm catches the moonlight like ice. And as always, the smoke follows him, not malicious, just⊠present. Like a memory he can't shake off.
He sits beside you without a word, the way he always does.
You donât look at each other at first. Thereâs no need. You both understand the rules of this fragile ritual: no questions, no fights, and no judgment.
You sit in the cold, close enough to feel the soft heat of him. His unnatural warmth, something Hell must have carved into his bones to keep him burning in all the wrong ways. You stay far enough that the stars wonât take notice, wonât whisper of betrayal.
Minutes pass. Maybe hours. The frost creeps slowly over the fallen branches, delicate and determined. You both watch it, as if it matters. As if the way it grows, inch by inch, might teach you something about stillness. About survival.
Like usual, sometimes you talk. Sometimes you don't.
Tonight, he breaks the silence first.
âI used to be human,â He confesses, almost absently. His eyes stay fixed on the sky, where clouds drift like smoke across the moon. âA long time ago.â
You glance at him, not surprised. You had suspected it. There was always something in the way he spoke, the way he moved, like he hadnât quite forgotten what it meant to bleed in the ways that mattered.
He continues before you can answer. âCanât remember much. Just flashes. Pain. Screaming. Cold water. And someone-â He cuts himself off with a bitter breath. âI think I had a name before⊠Bucky. Maybe that was it or maybe not.â
You don't speak immediately. The words settle like snow, quiet and heavy.
Then, ever so softly, you speak: âYou remember enough to mourn it.â
He turns his head a fraction, just enough to meet your eyes. He doesnât refuse your comment, doesnât try to argue. And that, somehow, feels more painful than anything else.
You both return to silence as he leans back against a frost-bitten tree, metal fingers twitching restlessly in his lap. You can feel something aching inside him, coiled too deep for words. Guilt? Regret? Or maybe just the echo of what once was.
You donât try to fix it. You just stay. Because thatâs the unspoken promise of the truce. Not salvation. Not forgiveness. Just presence.
And somehow, in a world that burned the both of you down into what you are now⊠maybe thatâs enough.
-
During your next meeting, the snow falls heavier this time.
It comes in thick, whispering sheets, softening the world until even your footsteps are silenced. The sky is overcast, swallowing the stars, and yet you walk the old path by memory. Your wings are hidden this time beneath a dark cloak. Your halo, long dimmed near the boundary, pulses faintly, a reminder of the place you still belong to, even if you don't feel like you do.
He's already there when you arrive, perched on a broken stone wall, hood drawn low, and smoke curling lazily around his shoulders. He doesnât look at you when you approach, but his metal fingers tap once against the stone, a quiet acknowledgment. A habit, maybe. Or a signal meant just for you.
You sit beside him, brushing snow off the ledge. Neither of you says anything for a long time. The snowfall thickens. It clings to your lashes, melts slowly against the heat of his shoulder when it drifts close. You almost lean toward him. Almost. But you donât. Because this⊠this thing between you isnât named or defined. Itâs a careful, wordless balance, like walking a tightrope strung between Heaven and Hell. And you donât know what happens if one of you leans too far.
So you speak instead.
âTheyâre starting to wonder where I go,â You murmur. âThe others.â
He huffs a breath through his nose. âSame.â
You glance at him, startled. You didnât think demons would care.
âI shouldnât be here. They donât trust me much,â He says. âNever did. Iâm not⊠obedient enough. Still got too many memories, I think.â
You study the side of his face, how the flickering light catches the scar near his jaw, how snow gathers in the folds of his coat, how his eyes stay fixed on the horizon like heâs waiting for something that never arrives.
You whisper, âWhy do you keep coming back here?â
His jaw tightens. He doesnât answer right away. Just stares into the white blur of the trees.
Then: âBecause this is the only place I donât feel like Iâm supposed to be anything.â
The words hit harder than they should as you can feel your throat tighten. Because you understand. Because thatâs the reason you come too. Not for salvation. Not for curiosity. But because here, on this forgotten ledge at the edge of war, you get to just exist.
Not as a Weapon or a Symbol. Not a Messenger, Servant, or Slave either. Just⊠as yourself. And maybe thatâs why it almost happens.
The shift.
It begins as silence, broken only by the snowfall and the distant cry of something too old for naming. Your knees are nearly touching. His arm is barely a breath from your shoulder. And then, he turns to you. Really turns to you. The snow on his lashes. The flicker in his eyes. The pain he doesnât speak about and the comfort he doesnât ask for.
You donât breathe.
His hand lifts slightly, hesitating between you, as if asking without asking. As if unsure whether reaching out will ruin everything youâve built from the silence and distance.
Your breath fogs between you and you donât move as that moment hangs like crystal in the air. Fragile. Shimmering. Dangerous.
But then he blinks and withdraws, looking away. The space between you swells again with all the things you didnât say. All the things you didnât do.
He clears his throat. âShould go. Theyâll notice.â
You nod, but donât stand.
He hesitates, then turns, walking back through the trees. The smoke follows him. Softer now. Calmer.
You stay until the snowfall covers where he sat. You donât cry. Angels donât cry. But something in you bends. And maybe next solstice⊠maybe it will break.
-
The snow is late this year.
The sky is too clear, too wide, the moon too full, as if the heavens are watching, waiting. You sit on the same broken stone wall, cloak wrapped tight, wings folded beneath layers of quiet. You havenât spoken aloud since your last meeting. No words seem right unless theyâre for him.
Heâs late this time. You donât pace. Angels donât pace. But your fingers twitch and your breath stutters. The frost gathers along your lashes, and still, he does not come.
Then⊠you hear movement. The trees stir. Smoke curls through the air, faint at first, then thick, clinging to the wind like a memory refusing to be forgotten. And then heâs there. Shoulders hunched. Jaw tight. Thereâs a limp in his step youâve never seen before. Something about the way he moves, itâs quieter. Smaller. Like heâs folding in on himself.
You donât speak yet. Not yet. You watch as he stops before reaching the wall. He doesnât move to sit. He stands there, hood shadowing his face, and one hand clenched tight inside his coat pocket. The other twitches at his side, fingers curling and uncurling like heâs trying to hold onto something too fragile.
You wait, watching him in silence for a minute. Two. Ten.
Finally, he speaks.
âI shouldnât be here.â
Your voice is steady, even if your heart stumbles. âYou say that every year.â
His eyes lift to yours. Something in them flickers resembling pain maybe, or guilt.
âNo.â The word is thick. Real and raw. âI mean it this time.â
You donât ask why. You could. You could demand the answer, peel it from his throat if you wanted. But some truths arenât meant to be touched. Some are better left where they lie, between silence and suspicion.
Instead, you ask quietly, âThen why come?â
He looks down, taking a slow breath before moving closer to you. Slowly and Carefully, like it costs him something. From inside his coat, his gloved hand emerges, clenched around something small and heavy. When he opens it, the object catches the moonlight and your breath.
A coin. Worn. Misshapen. Half-melted, like it passed through fire and never forgot. Its edges are jagged, dangerous, like the lives it's touched. Like his life. You know what it truly is though.
A soul coin.
Youâve only seen one before, only once a long time ago. It served as proof of salvation. The kind no demon carries unless theyâve done the unthinkable, not damn a soul, but save it. It is a mark of rebellion, of change. Of loss.
He holds it for a moment more, then steps closer before holding it out to you. You hesitate, but only for a heartbeat. Your fingers close around it gently, reverently. Itâs warm. Alive, almost. You can feel its weight and the cost of it.
And then, his voice, quieter now.
âProof,â He states. âThat Iâm not all gone.â
Your eyes search his face, the shadows beneath his eyes, the way heâs trembling, but only slightly, like a man whoâs fought too long and finally let himself feel it.
âWhy give this to me?â You ask, barely above a whisper.
You watch as his gaze drops and hear the silence swell between you. Then, he says it. The thing that breaks you.
âBecause next solsticeâŠâ He stops. His throat works around a word he doesnât speak. His eyes close, âI might not be here.â
And thatâs when it hurts. Because demons donât lie. Not like this. Not with this kind of sorrow. You reach for him, but he steps back. Not in fear or nervousness this time. In resolution.
Like if you touched him now, heâd stay. And heâs already chosen to leave. When he vanishes, it isnât with fire. Itâs with smoke swirling softly and quietly. Like the ghost of a memory that never settled right.
He leaves behind nothing more than the coin in your hand, still warm, and a silence that feels too alive to be empty. A terrible ache in your chest builds, because angels donât hope.
But tonight, you do. You hope to see him again.