The smoke of despair spares no one. No matter how hard you try to avoid it, no matter how fast you try to run away from it. It seeps in through the smallest of cracks and crevices and shrouds you, blinds you. So much so that you can't see yourself. Can't feel yourself.
Sooner or later, it will dissipate.
But the remnants of the smoke which have infiltrated you will stay behind. It'll stay behind for a long time, and keep on reminding you of how debilitating it feels. But who knows? It might even stay forever.