Divus Crewel - Blog Posts
Homewrecker, husband-stealer villainess!
Idia is not going anywhere, you hear me?! You might be happy being the other woman, but I'm not happy with the pair of horns!
NOTE: I only write for female Reader, but everyone is welcome to read!
Inspired by @adrianasunderworld in this funny as hell post.
THIS HAS A SEQUEL! What if we fake married for real? (ʃƪ＾3＾) ~★
"To give someone a pair of horns" is to cheat on them. Also, Rook gets involved because he'd absolutely adore to be part of the drama.
— (╬☉д⊙)⊰⊹ฺ
Idia knows he's not frozen like the others, but honestly, he feels like it. He feels like even his lungs, even his heart has stopped. All because of this cute-faced npc who forced her way into a romance route with him. If he could think about it, he'd think about that horror game with the same story, but right now his mind is blank.
He has reached the point of no return. Actually dying would just reinforce his fate.
Or, at least, is what he thought. Almost as if answering to his thoughts, there's a loud noise coming from the other side of the doors, followed by footsteps.
Then the doors are thrown open by none other than (Y/N), the Ramshackle Housewarden that the school affectionately tends to call "Prefect".
She's dressed to the nines in a breathtaking wedding gown, the skirt pooling around her like God-Tier CGI, the blue accents contrasting beautifully with the pearly white of the dress, the blue roses decorating her head in a crown making her look like Persephone herself. She'd look perfect, if it weren't for the tear streaks her make-up left behind.
Wait. Tear streaks?
The silence breaks with the Prefects loud, shrill screech, a sound no one has ever thought she, the usually soft spoken and gentle Prefect, would be capable of.
"HOMEWRECKER!"
Without stopping to breath, she walks forwards, looking angrier and angrier each step taken.
"How dare you, you conniving bitch?! How dare you steal my groom! ON OUR WEDDING DAY?!" she screams at Eliza, stopping in the middle of the way to point at... at Idia himself?! "And you! You good-for-nothing two-timer! How dare you leave me waiting at the altar?!"
"Young man, I am terribly disappointed!" Professor Crewel chides from behind her, and Idia finally notices the group that actually came in with her. "I did not give you permission to marry my daughter, my first and only daughter, for you to break her heart on her happiest day!"
"Big brother! How could you! Think of your child!" Ortho chimes in, and if Idia hadn't built tear tracks on the boy himself, he would believe firmly in his tears. "Little Meg would be so sad if her daddy just left for another woman!"
"Idia, what is the meaning of this?!" it's Eliza's turn to screech, turning to him with fury in her eyes. Idia stutters a few random letters, trying to form words, just as confused as she is.
Until it clicks.
Right. Fake relationship. How could he forget one of the most cliche tropes in romance's history?
"I... I... t-this isn't what it looks like!" he finally manages to say, trying to look as desperate as he can, which is not hard considering what his fate is in case this plan fails. "I can explain!"
"Is it because of my past with Rook?! "
"Young man, you're still hung up on that, despite being the only man I've ever approved for my daughter?"
"What?!" someone yells in the crowd, but the man in question promptly enters the play as if he was born for this moment alone.
"Monsieur, I have told you this already, but I shall say it again! My dear dove's happiness is the most important to me! If she has chosen you, then my heart shall settle!" What the fuck, why is Rook so good at improv?
"I-I know!" calm down, Idia, think of this as a rhythm game and keep the beat going! "I don't... I don't want this, but this villainess wouldn't listen!"
"Wait, so this woman is telling the truth?!"
"This woman?! THIS WOMAN?! You mean his true bride?!" (Y/N) steps closer, fat crocodile tears rolling down her cheeks, smudging her make-up even more. "You- you- you husband-stealer! Know your place! You come into my house, you steal my groom and the father of my daughter-"
"I see no child-"
"Do you think I'd bring my child to see my husband's mistress?!"
"Big sister, calm down, think of the baby! Your stress levels are dangerously high!"
"WHAT BABY?!"
"Monsieur Shroud, if you do not fix this situation, I shall be taking my belle back! Do not worry, the children will not grow without a father!"
Twst quotes #05
Yuu: Alright, which one of us is gonna check outside?
Ace: Not it!
Deuce: Not it!
Grim: Not it!
Yuu: … None of you are as dumb as you lead on to be.
-
Yuu: ARE YOU-
Ace: Fucking.
Yuu: KIDDING ME?! YOU-
Ace: Fucking.
Yuu: IDIOT!
Leona: … What was that?
Ace: Crewel banned Yuu from swearing, so I'm helping them out.
-
Ace: Not gonna lie, I'm kind of afraid of Kalim…
Yuu: As you should be.
Ace: No, for real, he's just really-
Yuu:As. You. Should. Be.
-
Ruggie: The results are in, I'm afraid you have updog…
Leona: What's updog?
Ruggie: Jack! Get in here, I told you I could do it!
-
Yuu, grinning: I have acquired a knife!
Crewel: Put it down Yuu.
Yuu: You have magic! I have knife. Fair trade! *sprints away*
Twst quotes #04
Yuu: In terms of money, we have no money.
-
Cater: Croissants: dropped.
Kalim: Road: works ahead.
Floyd: BBQ sauce: on my titties.
Idia: Shavacado: fre.
Yuu: Miss Keisha: fuckin' dead.
Leona:
Leona: … I didn't understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.
-
Ace: Can you see it? Where Yuu slapped me?
Deuce: Your face looks like a don't walk signal.
Sebek: Your face looks like a photo negative for the hamburger helper box.
Jack: A palm reader could tell Yuu's future by looking at your face.
Epel: The phrase "Talk to the hand 'cause the face ain't listening" doesn't work for you, because the hand is your face.
Ace: A simple "Yes" would work.
-
Idia: We've been conducting an ongoing study to see what Grim will and will not eat.
Yuu: Grass? Yes!
Idia: Moss? Yes!!
Yuu: Leaves? Ohh, yes!
Idia: Shoelaces? Strange but true!
Yuu: Worms? Sometimes!
Idia: Normal rocks? Usually nah.
Yuu: Twigs? Usually!
Idia: Lilia's cooking? Inconclusive!
Azul: How did you… test this?
Idia: You just hand him stuff and say "Eat this" and if he eats it, he eats it.
Azul: … I don't know how to feel about this.
Ace: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?
-
Crowley: I still don't have a new year's resolution.
Crewel: You could take care of the overblots.
Yuu: You can get me home.
Sam: Don't be such a bitch.
Crowley: Okay DAMN, SHIT.
Twst quotes #03
Kalim: Hello, McDonald's, I would like to purchase 130 chicken nuggets. Prepare yourselves.
-
Deuce: Good morning.
Epel: Good morning.
Jack: Good morning.
Crewel: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit.
Ace: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS!
-
Grim: Thanks for not telling Yuu what happened.
Trey, Dumbfounded: I wouldn't even know where to begin trying to explain this.
-
Jamil: I've never been in a snowball fight before. I don't know the rules.
Epel: What?
Jamil: Is there a point system, or is it to the death?
-
Yuu: You three explain right now!
Ace: It was Grim.
Deuce: It was Grim.
Epel: It was Grim.
Grim:
Grim: … Fuck.
Someone: How many versions of the song "KING" (and "Queen") with Twisted wonderland characters are needed?
Youtube: Yes ^_^
To be fair, some versions of the songs sounded really cool (the version of "KING" by Maleus, Riddle and Crowley), as well as the versions of Leona and "QUEEN" by Riddle and Vil, and in some moments they will have a beautiful visual accompaniment. And yes, instead of sleeping at 1:37 a.m., I really started listening to each version in its entirety.
@deescade
1 - (Sebek) ...
2 - (Neige) That would genuinely make me a little uncomfortable. Not because I don't like him but because I don't like when people whisper to me.
3 - (Kalim) I would stop working...
4 - (Sebek) It kinda works cause I also got him for the first one.
5 - (Chenya) My baby!! Whyy lol
6 - (Leona) Guess he's not wasting time... ehhh
7 - (Deuce) Okay, that's just rude! How dare you?! >:(
8 - (Silver) That hurts my feelings, why would he do that to me... :'(
9 - (Riddle) I'd probably accidently push/hit him cause of my shock... Not the best scenario...
This is my first post and it's currently 3:50am and I can't sleep. I'm gonna do more of these!
Twisted Wonderland (How Would They: Tell You a Pick-up Line? ver.) click and drag game!
warnings: flashing images
prompt: how would these characters tell you a pick-up line?
When YOU tell them a pick-up line...
Game notes • How to Play
Please use a browser other than Google Chrome to play because the GIFs always lock onto their first frame on Chrome. Safari and Firefox work, please try those
If you're on mobile, screenshot the gifs either as a set or individually
English or Spanish 🥀🌻
Deuce: *About to pour a liquid into the cauldron*
Ace: English or Spanish?
Deuce: English
Ace: Whoever moves first is gay
Deuce:...
-----
Crewel: *Looking up to see an exploded potion then proceeds to face palm*
dyed hair :)
(read from left to right!)
- inspired from this post.
I have way too many. I'm part of the EN server so I don't have so of these yet.
Congratulations.
Upon seeing this post, you are now required to reblog this post with your favorite Twisted Wonderland Card.
It does not matter if...
... You own the card or not.
... It's from the EN server or the JP server.
... It is a Groovy Card or not.
... someone has reblogged with the same character already.
[This is newly added:]
... you want to pick more than one card - that is perfectly fine, choose as many as you'd like!
Requirements:
-> It has to be a legitimate card from the Game.
Disclaimer: You are not forced to actually reblog this post.
Thought I'd do some funky lil headcanons for some of my favourite ships!
TreyJade
Trey learns what Jade's favourite dishes are, and makes himself a personal goal to learn how to make them.
Jade info-dumps about mushrooms to Trey, and Trey will happily sit and listen.
Trey will risk breaking Heartslabyul rules just to go see Jade.
Mountain dates. They have mountain and hiking dates.
Jade teaches Trey about merfolk beyond what NRC teaches - Trey's curiosities would most likely get the better of him
EEL CUDDLES! You know how otters have cuddle piles? Jade does exactly that in his merform if he can, tail and arms wrapped around Trey as securely as possible.
Jade being autistic, Trey learns his sensory triggers etc and does what he can to help
Jade will calmly threaten whoever says bad about Trey, even going as far as letting Floyd have the chance to squeeze
Trey is out of bounds to Azul's deals - Jade threatens him
CidClive
Cidolfus constantly sends Clive letters when he's away from the Hideaway, or away from Clive in general.
Clive holds onto Cid's jacket like a clingy child if he feels scared in a specific area - it's rare but Cid will have a silly smile he fails to hide when Clive does cling to him.
Clive is allowed in Cid's office/room without knocking.
Cid's "parental approval" was Torgal and Jill. Torgal likes Cid anyway, and Jill approved of him verbally - Gav also approved, but not without threatening both Clive and Cid that if one got hurt by the other, they'd be hurt several times worse
Ramuh and Ifrit form a mental connection as to when the other is ready to be unleashed. The two Eikons defend their respective hosts and each other
VarWel
Divus Crewel and Ashton Vargas. (Funnily enough, this is a recent one I've stares shipping)
Divus has the worst road rage, as driver and passenger. Ashton dreads Divus driving though, he also knows not to drive Divus' car under any circumstance
Ashton gets scolded like he's a dog more often than not, and Divus even threatens to ban him from his classroom.
Divus picks outfits out, and refuses to let Ashton do so
They have a dog (Dalmatian) and it's called LeFou
Hajime x Samon
Both were in denial for the longest time!
Act like enemies at work to stop questions
Hajime is like a cat when they're away from work eyes
Momoko is heartbroken when she finds out (Kenshiro is overjoyed but hides it for her sake)
Enki firmly threatened Hajime where no one could hear.
Samon lets Hajime have ice lollies if he wants one, but for every ice lolly, he gets Hajime to not smoke
Mitsuru teasing the living hell out of them both
Any other ships you want to see - Opinions or headcanons for?
Crewel: Ive decided that I won't punish you pups.
Ace and Deuce: Thank god.
Crewel: The Prefect will.
Yuu:(In the distance) Tweedle Dee and Tweedle dumbass!
Crewel: God, help you.
Ace: Please just whip us or something!
Deuce: Am I Dee or dumbass?
Edit: Additional ones I just thought of for staff:
Crowley: Once had to bike around a shit ton of bird corpses lining several yards of sidewalk to meet my dormmates at a lighthouse, went to the wrong lighthouse anyway, and had to bike back through it.
Bonus: Not One I did, but my Dad once preheated the oven to 350 degrees without realizing there was a pizza box in there, then left the house a few minutes before it caught on fire so my sister had to stop it. (I was upstairs and did nothing, as foretold in the Ace one)
Sam: I have a penchant for finding or somehow receiving the randomest shit:
I have 6 pool sticks yet no pool table,
A Hunting Bullet from 1947 and a Modern Handgun bullet (both found in the woods pretty close to eachother while camping)
Jeff the Third Croc (A bright orange mens size 11 croc I acquired in the woods while ironically wearing bright orange crocs)
3 Mardi gras Masks (I’m from Northeastern America and have never attended Mardi gras)
A 1923 Copy of the complete works of Shakesphere.
A weird necklace someone gave me that looks like some amulet thing in a movie.
An old fashioned wall phone with no wall or numbers.
A Tsuyu Asui figurine that glows in the dark for some reason, it wasn’t advertised to do so. (Nuclear Weapon?)
Several pieces of shattered Ancient Clay pots I found and tried to put back together.
A piece of coral with a whole ass plant growing from it.
5 pounds of mostly artwork and a rock from a friend (art of their ocs.)
A gigantic Blue and gold sombrero (and the sombrero case it came with)
Coyote skull from my Texan Friend (She apparently killed it herself which makes me more confused and concerned on why she gave me its skull)
A broken fishing rod me and two friends chain linked together to pull out of a lake.
And some other weird shit.
Crewel : I used to love giant fluffy coats and still do. Will wear them in the summer.
Vargas : I walked to school in a t-shirt, shorts and flip-flops during a blizzard to prove something (I don’t remember what)
Bonus: On my first day at my new school last year , I climbed to the roof and jokingly yelled down to my friend “I HAVE THE HIGH GROUND!”, then threw an eraser at him.
Also apparently I’m the first student to ever get to the roof and not get caught, yet here I am self incriminating myself. Oh well.
Trein: Wrote over 100,000 words in an essay out of spite.
———
I still have more dumb shit I’ve experienced but I have once more run out of characters.
Stupid Shit I’ve done/Gotten myself into by accident/been dragged into as Twisted Wonderland Characters:
—————-
Ace : Heard my sister screaming bloody murder downstairs and didn’t do shit because I assumed she was watching a horror movie. Turns out there was a fire in the oven.
Bonus: Sniped my friend in the eye from across the Cafeteria with a Ketchup Packet, Meant to hit his glasses, but he repositioned them at the last second.
Deuce: Answered Maine four times on a Historical Geography test and was wrong all four times.
Cater: Threw my phone out of the window in a panic after seeing one of my Idols followed me back.
Bonus : Accidentally convinced a transfer camper from Wales I was from London after I quoted something in the accent to myself in the showers and was too awkward to tell them I wasn’t when they struck up the conversation.
(I am from America, and the camp is in America.)
Trey: Accidentally created a puddle of Dark Red Icing and Stepped in it four times in a row while making a cake at 2 am.
Bonus : Befriended and helped out the owner of a French Bakery down the street when they started out, they ended up becoming really popular (rightfully so, her stuff is amazing) and now I either get free shit and/or Friends and Family Discounts.
Riddle : I have read the dictionary on multiple occasions out of sheer boredom.
Bonus: I once read the bible and marked down verses. Im not religious I just needed to win an argument.
Leona: Slept through an earthquake and 3 ambulances coming to my house bcs my sister was hurt.
Ruggie: Waited for families going inside to pass by and asked them to hold the door for me so I could sneak into a VIP rooms for free food. (Usually only at fancy hotels but luckily this strategy is flexible when your 5’2 with a baby face.)
Jack: Used to Smash open large rocks containing Crystals or Quartz at the beach as a kid, and now I have a large collection of them.
Bonus: I have extremely good hearing, to the point I hear into the negative decibels up to -15 - -20 (according to the audiologist this is rare but i literally don’t know shit about audio and decibels) so my old dormmates used to try and bribe me to tell them what I heard about certain things or themselves.
Bonus 2: Almost got shot by an illegal hunter while in the woods with my sister.
Floyd : Cracked my skull open at the pool, lost consciousness for a few seconds and woke up in the water calling for help, then got confused on why I was calling for help.
Bonus : A Sea lion once came up to me while I was scuba diving and did little circles, bumped its snout on my mask and just followed me the whole time in a very gleeful manner as a temporary homie.
Bonus 2: Apparently ate / took bites of my moms library books as a little kid (????) according to the librarian.
Jade: Taught myself to untie my hands with my hands behind my back, tie by hands behind my back with my hands behind my back, deciphered, translated and memorized a fictional hieroglyphic language, Read from Act 1 to Act 6 of Homestuck, and accidentally discovered how to disguise Chocolate Ice Cream as Pistachio; all within the span of 2 weeks. (I had covid and was A-Symptomatic)
Bonus : Lived in the Woods for 7 months (in total), had a large bag of mica and Almost Drowned in a tent when there was no moving water nor rain. (Basically, I was asleep, Woke up underwater, nearly went back to bed, then shot out of my tent screaming “My Tent Titanticed!” )
(It was like 3 am don’t judge me)
Azul: Somehow ended up with $2200 dollars in $100s in Monopoly at the end of the game. Also have been stuck between two identical twins while talking with both and boi that shits TRIPPY. (I also almost died with them later but it was fine)
Bonus: I lived on a middle of fuck knows where island during the spring and summer up until covid, yet I absolutely despise eating fish or Shellfish, and the smell often makes me nauseous.
(Bonus 2: I love shiny things, but very specifically fancy looking keys. I also had a weird obsession with signing a shiny contract after watching Ariel. Another tiny thing Is I own a Flotsam and Jetsam Scarf which I chuck around when Floyd or Jade pisses me off ingame.)
Kalim : Got distracted by a cool leaf while at a fancy resort in Xatapa, Mexico, and waddled off from my parents and explored around to try and find more, somehow managed to get extremely far and ended up lost in a whole different city for 6 hours while trying to find my way back.
Bonus 1: I had an obsession with Kiwis for awhile as a kid, and our neighbors house had a Pangium tree that reached over to our yard. (It was planted before either families moved in so we didn’t know) I thought it was some kind of strange Kiwi and ate one. I didn’t like it and was like “Oh maybe its not ripe” and waited 3-5 months then tried it again, same reaction, repeat process one more time.
I went to my parents out of curiosity and asked them what it was, and so after some process I am unaware of but I think my mom brought one of the fruits somewhere, we discovered what it was.
Pangium contains Fatal amounts of Cyanide if not properly prepared. I was fine but for the love of anything please don’t try eating it like little me did.
Bonus 2: I’ve Almost died more times than I can count on both hands and feet. Im not an heir or something fancy I just have wackass luck.
Jamil: Once had to talk my sister out of jumping off a tour boat because our cousin dared her to.
Bonus : Managed to make French Toast in the middle of the woods with Dehydrated Milk, Cinnamon, Three Eggs I stole, and a loaf of bread we got once a month. Also made 3 kinds marinated chicken in the middle of the woods.
(My Cooking Style is literally “just trust me bro.” I’m like Lilia except it actually works and is edible)
Epel : Whenever we went applepicking at my Grandfathers house, I’d climb into the trees and throw or pass the apples down. Sometimes I actually wish I could sit in trees more often shits comfy.
Bonus: My Mom was a Champion Horseback Rider as a kid, and sometimes took us to this Dude Ranch I shall not name for my own privacy, but I’d run around with this group of kids and this one herding dog like a damn movie protagonist, sometimes go riding horses, or the one time we stole a tractor and near crashed it (THE REGRETS I STILL HAVE-) etc.
The WHIPLASH from that to going back to a whitewashed Northeast suburban town is insane.
Rook: My Cousins and I, and sometimes the kids at the priorly mentioned ranch, would play the most intense games of manhunt (basically really intense hide n seek at night) ,
I mean wearing camo if you had it, alliances, little dollar store walkie-talkies, code words, binoculars, climbing in trees or hiding in bushes/tall grasses/Hay to “scout”.
I hid in a large pot/vase more than once and another time on a roof, and (ONLY ONCE, DO NOT DO THIS IM STUPID) under a car.
I still remain the top in last man standing points. Mostly bcs I’m stingy with rescues but shhh
Vil - Accidentally poured a lot of liquid eyeliner into my eye, was literally crying out Eyeliner for 30 minutes. Also taught myself to run and jump in heels as a kid because I thought it looked cool in movies.
Ortho : Unknowingly was Hacking my Elementary School Databank for several years,
I genuinely thought it was normal to go on the school website, press a few buttons and be able to find a friends address if I had a playdate and needed to tell my mom where the house was, a parents phone number if needed communication with my friends parents , and mostly ignored the other general info.
I didn’t even know I did this until my dad told me a few months ago that I almost got suspended for it but by the time they found out it was the end of my last year there. ;—;
Idia: Accidentally acquired both a Nahida and Eula in Genshin and was genuinely annoyed at the time, they are now my most powerful DPS’s…
Bonus : I own a shit ton of original Japanese first edition Pokemon Cards my cousin gave me, (they are probably worth more than me which is neat), and I have a giant pile of Pokemon plushies I have infact fallen asleep on or in on multiple occasions.
Bonus 2: I was playing Breath of the Wild, and my very first thing I did after getting off the plateau was beeline for the castle. I actually got all the way up and took out 2 blights but the Wind one kicked my ass.
Bonus 3: Got confessed to and asked out by a guy I did not like nor knew very well, and I panicked, said “Maybe, Sorry no.” And ran into a wall. Also have crawled through a chute to avoid an awkward situation as a kid (do not recommend its dusty and definitely not safe)
Bonus 4: Once didn’t sleep for 5 days.
Malleus : Accidentally attended a Private Party and a Private Funeral in the same week. I was not invited nor knew anyone present. Stayed there for most of it because I was too nervous to say I wasn’t supposed to be there. Whoop.
Bonus: Got nicknamed the “Trip Curse.” By my Old Dormmates because everytime I went on a trip with them everything seemed to go to shit or get hella chaotic.
Bonus 2: Another camping one: Once woke up at night with a shit ton of fireflies just chilling in my tent. It was serene but also I genuinely thought I was hallucinating for a few minutes.
Lilia: Literally will hang upside down anywhere I can, its so fun bro.
Bonus : I know an extremely large amount of useless historical information, and once genuinely realized I know more about poison than what flour and eggs are used for in baking.
Silver : Once befriended a wild horse ( Im like 90% sure he was a Chestnut).
I called him Clover the Dog like horse because he was honestly just a golden retriever in the body of a horse.
This is great and theres alot of sweet moments, but then theres the times you have a giant horse galloping full speed at you for attention or trying to nudge you affectionately and nearly pushing you into a creek in the process.
Sebek: Got groundstruck by lightning once. Also I am often told I have a loud voice.
Che’nya : a good friend of mine and I have an inside joke at school where if we see eachother through a window (my school has alot of indoor windows for some reason?), we’ll text the other “Behind you.” Or “To your left.”
——————-
Theres more things I can think of but I have run out of characters and this is getting too long, so ye!
5 Times Floyd Kissed Riddle and 1 Time He Kissed Back
author: resonata
summary: Floyd couldn't help himself. Goldfish was too precious after all.
TWST x adventure time: NRC staff
sorry crewel fans
Uhhhh How TF am I going to choose which character to do for the whumptober prompts? I'm indecisive help.
(the first prompt is Safety Net/ Swooning/ "How many fingers am I holding up?"
Flash Headcanons: Gender
(send help I don't. I don't even know my own gender.)
Heartslabyul:
Riddle: Bigender. Her mom is a hater but it's okay because we hate her. (His Dad is supportive)
Ace: Trans Male. I've already made a backstory post for Ace but I am willing to do another one factoring this in.
Deuce: Cis male but is a MASSIVE ally. Throwing hands with all Transphobes
Cater: Non-binary. Will not tell anyone unless they know them very well. If asked I will expand.
Trey: Trans Male. Parents are very supportive.
Savanaclaw:
Leona: Trans Male. Farena is supportive. Parents are not. (Let's be honest. With the way Leona turned out (depressed.) His parents cannot be good.)
Jack: Cis. But, like Deuce, will fight for his friends. Throwing. Hands.
Ruggie: Fem non-binary. Uses They/He pronouns. (Me? Projecting? I would never.)
Octavinelle:
Azul: Trans Male. Got bullied for having a very bad haircut. He's traumatized. Family is very supportive. Jade and Floyd are supportive in... their own ways.
Jade: Demi boy. He/They. Nothing else needs to be said.
Floyd: he's just.. Floyd. (I cannot explain this. It's simply a vibe)
Scarabia:
Kalim: Non-binary! Came out to Jamil first. Makes an effort to wear their flag colors every day. Has a little pin on his Cardigan.
Jamil: Cis male but the most supportive person to exist. Like- 'Ace you're on your period and are currently facing pain so bad that you're literally curled up in bed while writing this- I mean can't participate in basketball practice? Cool I'll tell coach. Here's a heating pad, chocolate, and some painkillers.'
Pomefiore:
Vil: Trans Fem. Non-binary He/She.
Rook: Cis and again very supportive.
Epel: Demi boy and will crossdress for funsies.
Ignihyde:
Idia: Questioning. They prefer They/Them but They're open to all pronouns
Ortho: Ortho's a boy! He thinks. He's a robot boy.
Diasomnia:
Silver: Cis male, doesn't quite understand gender but is supportive nonetheless!
Malleus: Agender! Do fae have gender? Since it's a social construct maybe they just don't?
Lilia: Cis male very supportive of his kids and everyone else!
Staff:
Sebek: Demi boy in denial. He'll figure it out eventually...
Crowley: Agender uses He/They
Crewel: Masc Non-binary. Again. Vibes
Trein: Cis male. Had a trans daughter. Incredibly supportive.
Vargas: Fully transitioned trans male. Like, surgically and stuff.
Sam: Non-binary. He's just- VIBES
Other:
Lucius: Cat gender. What were you expecting?
Neige: Bigender. She's so CUTE.
Chenya: Cat gender Masc non-binary.
Cheka: He likes being a boy. All he knows about gender is that his unka didn't like being a girl so he became a boy!
Najima: Demi girl. She/they.
Authors Note: Dear god this took so long I'm sorry. I was having a crisis. Also I did my hair today and now I can actually see my curls and it's great!
Ok so. I'm working on Flash Headcanons for Gender but... I don't know that many genders. So in the meantime...
Incorrect Quotes Part: 1
(using the Incorrect Quotes generator)
Heartslabyul
(ft. Che'nya and MC)
Riddle: What does 'take out' mean?
Trey: Food.
Deuce: Dating
Cater: Murder
Ace: IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOU'RE NOT A COWARD.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(At 3am)
Riddle, after drinking too much coffee: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything?
Ace: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies
Deuce: Socks are Feetie Heaties
Cater: Forks are Stabby Grabbies
Ace: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties
Deuce: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies
Cater: Stamps are Lickie Stickies
Trey, annoyed: You are disappointments
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Riddle: Are any of you d-
Cater: Depressed?
Trey: Drained?
Deuce: Dumb?
Ace: Disliked?
Riddle: -done with Professor Crewel's homework... what is wrong with you people...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(During winter break Riddle attempts to talk to his mother. It doesn't go well.)
Riddle: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?
Deuce: Several traffic violations.
Ace: Three counts of resisting arrest.
Cater: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.
Trey: Also, that’s not our car.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Trey: Nothing in life is free.
Deuce: Love is free!
Cater: Adventure is free.
Riddle: Knowledge is free.
Ace: Everything is free if you take it without paying.
(Trey was not amused)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Trey, talking about Che'nya: So uhhh... my question is: my friend keeps on going into the pantry and grabbing handfuls of fettuccine... uncooked...
Cater: I would hope they're not grabbing handfuls of cooked fettuccine!
Riddle: In our pantry!
Trey: Yeah... and eating them raw, and they keep calling them 'chips'. ... How do I make them stop?
Cater: Is your friend here?
Trey, motioning to Che'nya's floating head: Yeah.
Ace, to Che'nya: You're a monster! Words MEAN things! >:(
Deuce: Does anybody remember- I haven't been to Olive Garden in... about a few months- but they DO have a like- fettuccine bottle that you can just- grab em out of and chew-
Deuce, to Ace and MC: HOLD ON. WAS THIS A PRANK YOU GUYS PULLED ON ME WHEN WE WENT TO OLIVE GARDEN ?!
Deuce: NO, STOP. EVERYBODY SHUT UP. DO THEY GIVE YOU RAW FETTUCCINE TO CHEW ON IN THE LOBBY OF THE OLIVE GARDEN
Everyone else: No.
Deuce, to Ace and Mc: YOU FUCKIN BASTARDS
Ace: OH MY GOD YOU ACTUALLY FELL FOR IT-
MC: THE PRESTIGE!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Deuce: I’m an idiot.
Ace:
Riddle:
Cater:
Trey:
MC:
Deuce:
Ace: If you’re waiting for us to disagree, this is going to be a long day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ace: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do?
Riddle: Have everyone stand.
Deuce: Bring three more chairs!
Cater: The most important ones can sit down.
Trey, quietly: Kill three.
Everyone: ... :0
(unhinged Trey gives me fuel)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Riddle: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life
Trey: Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years!
Deuce: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this!
Cater: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!
Ace: My moral code, is that you?
Riddle:
Riddle: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk my father gave me but do you guys need a hug?
(Dad Rosehearts is a good father agenda.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Riddle: What did you guys get in your yearbook? I got 'most likely to succeed'
Ace, confused: 'Prettiest Smile'
Cater, totally not bitter: 'Nicest Personality'
Deuce, also bitter: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'
Trey: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Trey: What’s something you guys are better than Riddle at?
Deuce: Mario Kart.
Cater: Yeah, video games.
Ace: Emotional vulnerability.
(That's a lie Ace. No one in NRC is good at that.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Riddle, trying his best: That's it, we're gonna go out and find what we need!
Cater: To the town?
Riddle: Yeah, no matter what!
Trey: Well- How exactly do you propose we do that, exactly?
Riddle: I... I don't know!
Ace: Oh come off it, be serious!
Riddle: I am serious!
Ace: You're insane!
Deuce: Why, if only we were all wiener dogs, our problems would be solved!
Everyone:
Riddle: What???
Deuce: Or maybe it was a basset hound!
Ace, panicked: YOU'RE ALL INSANE!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Riddle: Looking left cause you don’t treat me right
Ace: Looking right because you left
Deuce: Looking up cause you let me down
Cater: Looking down cause you fucked up
Trey, just trying to bake/ confused on how they got Riddle into this: What is wrong with you guys
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MC: We’ve been conducting an ongoing study to see what Deuce will and will not eat.
Ace: Grass? Yes!
Cater: Moss? Yes!!
MC: Leaves? Ohh, yes!
Cater: Shoelaces? Strange but true!
Ace: Worms? Sometimes!
MC: Rocks? Usually nah.
Ace: Twigs? Usually!
Cater: Riddle's cooking? Inconclusive...
Trey: How did you… test this?
Ace: You just hand them stuff and say ‘eat this’ and if they eat it, they eat it.
Trey: ... I don’t know how to feel about this.
Riddle: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Trey, trying to convince Riddle to join the group: You know... I thought it'd be good to have someone come along who's really... strong!
Ace: And strict!
Deuce: And grumpy!
Ace: And oblivious to reality!
MC, bitter from Riddle insulting them in chapter one: And a fucking ASSHOLE.
Trey:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Deuce: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me?
Ace: It isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it.
Riddle: Three of us saw it, Ace. How do you explain that?
Ace: points at Trey Sleep deprivation. points at MC Paranoia. points at Cater Delusional personality disorder.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Playing one of those card games like cards against humanity)
Riddle, reading off the card: Good responses for being stabbed with a knife?
Ace: Rude.
Deuce: That’s fair.
Cater: Not again.
Trey: Are you going to want this back?
Riddle:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Riddle: Where's Ace, Deuce, and Cater?
Trey: They're playing hide and seek.
Riddle: Where?
Trey: I don't think you get how this game works.
(Riddle with his lack of childhood)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Authors Note: Hope you enjoy this while I figure out both their gender and my own...)
Happy 4:15 in the morning. I'm doing flash headcanons for Sexuality. (Authors Note: took a break and made breakfast potatoes. It's now 7:00 am and I have my father's love.)
Warning: Lack of Heterosexuality
I may or may not be high so; here we go:
Heartslabyul:
Riddle: he's bi. He insists he's straight but he's lying to himself. You'll get it one day sweetie. Leans more to guys.
Ace: BI. BISEXUAL DISASTER. This man experienced bi panic when he saw Epel and Deuce in a room together. (He thought Epel was a chick...) Also. Acesexual. (get it. Asexual? Acesexual? I'm a comedian.)
Deuce: Gay. His mother is supportive.
Cater: unlabeled. He hates labeling anything about himself. If asked will say he's gay but if you get to know him he'll be honest.
Trey: Pansexual. It's the vibes. Nothing else needs to be said.
Savanaclaw:
Leona: Gay. Would never want a women. Don't be mistaken he greatly respects women he's just not attracted to them. At all.
Jack: Pan. Another man that drinks his respect women juice.
Ruggie: acesexual demi romantic. You have to know him first.
Octavinelle:
Azul: Questioning... He knows he likes men... he's working on it. Just tells people he's gay while he figures it out.
Jade: Gay. Pulls women though. He's polite in rejecting them.
Floyd: Unlabeled. Ask him to give him a label and he'll flip you off.
Scarabia:
Kalim: Asexual Panromantic. The sweetest.
Jamil: Bi. Pulls everyone.
Pomefiore:
Vil: Queer. He's something?
Rook: again. Gay. I don't think this needs to be explained.
Epel: questioning
Ignihyde:
Idia: Gay. He doesn't really care though. he just knows.
Ortho: Ortho doesn't know yet. Idia explained LGBTQ stuff to Ortho (since a lot of people on campus are queer) but Ortho really young so he doesn't really think about it. (Also. Robot)
Diasomnia:
Malleus: He's clearly gay but Lilia hadn't given him the talk.
Silver: I would say Malleus's applies to Silver but Silver is Bi.
Sebek: Internalized Homophobia. It's okay for other people to be gay just not him. Anyways Gay.
Lilia: The original gay. All gays evolved from him.
Staff:
Crowley: Aroace. 'Ew romance' (he says that everytime he catches students making out in odd places)
Crewel: Gay. And extremely supportive.
Trein: Y'know what. I'm going to be brave here. Token straight. Ally.
Vargas: Bi. Incredibly Bi.
Sam: Gay. Gay black man. (Authors Note: met a black gay once during an open dance thing and he hyped me up the entire time. He had the coolest pride baseball jacket thing? It has a rainbow on it. Dee if you're out there I love you <3.)
Other:
Lucius: A... Cat?
Neige: Pansexual. He has the pan colours.
Che'nya: A... Gay Cat?
Najma: that is a LESBIAN. Probably the most similar character to me! So she's a lesbian.
Marja: Ally! You go grandma!
Cheka: Cheka doesn't know much about gay people... He asked dad but he just said 'Oh yeah. Leona's gay!' Cheka doesn't know what that means.
Authors Note: According to the wiki; Neige is taller than Vil. NEIGE IS 6,3. let that sink in. 6,3. That's not possible. That's a fucking lie. These guys are SKYSCRAPERS. Anyways in the wiki it also says that Vil wears 13 CENTIMETER HEELS? That's like. 5-6 inches. Which is probably why Vil looks taller than Neige in the story...
*slides in from the left, overshoots, scrambles back into view after an extended period of crashing sounds with that one cat yowl* howdy I heard you write headcanons :D
Do you have any particular thoughts on how cuddly some of the guys would be? Like who's happy to cuddle, who would doze off, who would be all awkward about it lol - I just like to cuddle my besties haha
Hope you have a great day - and make sure you stay hydrated!
(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧
Ok so this technically falls under the category of x reader but I'll try! I'm not writing these as romantic though! Bestie cuddles.(Most of these depends on your like prior friendship status to them so I'm going to assume that you're like friends. like close ish idk)
Also I don't really know how cuddles work. It's just hugging right? Like sleepy hugs?? Never experienced it before. I'm trying.
Part one: they hug you.
Riddle: 7/10 he'd be like... Okay?? The most awkward thing ever he's trying not to be weird about but then he'll get comfortable and relax. Touch starved.
Ace: 8/10 Prefers second long hugs and stuff but he's down for it. He'd fall asleep instantly.
Deuce: 9/10 AWKWARD. And then he'll get comfortable and it's the best thing ever. -1 point for snoring.
Cater: 10/10 the best. He's touch starved and just waiting. Waiting for a hug.
Trey: 5/10 he just kinda... Wraps his arms around you. He's trying. And failing.
Leona: 2/10 he doesn't hug you. Just sleeps. It's peaceful though and he does wrap his tail around you so???
Ruggie: 10/10 he will randomly run up to you and jump in for a hug. Cuddles all the time. It's the best.
Jack: 10/10 big teddie bear. It's great. He's somehow soft?? Like? Where did your muscles go?
Azul: 8/10 he's... Slightly uncomfortable. He doesn't hug often. But when he does it's really nice. Like. He's squishy.
Jade: 7/10 he's... Decent at cuddling. Again he just kinda. Wraps his arms around you. Extra points for like. Fitting well? Against you??
Floyd: 10/10 again like Ruggie he just runs up and hugs you. He's just more... Feral. It's terrifying. You think he's going to bite you and then you get a hug.
Kalim: 11/10 the sweetest. "Im so happy I could hug you!" And then he does. The cardigan is soft. Cuddles are the best.
Jamil: 7/10 most of the comfort would come from the really fluffy blanket that Kalim gifted to him. It's good. But he's like. Burning hot.
Vil: 5/10 doesn't 'do' hugs. But he will. He. Will. It's awkward. Would be better if he was relaxed. If he's relaxed it's a 10
Rook: 9/10 so comfortable. He's somehow soft? Like? Where did your bones go? -1 point for the hat staying on.
Epel: 10/10 *cries* again. The sweetest. He's soft like rook but firm. Like vil. It's a combination.
Idia: 7/10 he's gaming. Like literally gaming as your cuddling. Hello? Respect?
Ortho: 9/10 Hard. That is made of metal. But he's super sweet about it!
Malleus: 8/10 Squishy. You'd never expect it.
Lilia: 7/10 just kinda shows up behind you and. Oh you're being cuddled. That's nice.
Silver: 8/10 takes after his father. He's less... frightening about it though.
Sebek: 6/10 he's stiff. He's just like... There? Idk +2 points for trying.
Crowley: 6/10 he's hugging you and then. Where did he go? He's gone? The opposite of Lilia
Crewel: 6/10 the coat is fuzzy and soft! He's not.
Trein: 8/10 this man canonically has daughters. He's good at hugging. he'll hug you like you're his child.
Lucius the cat: 100/10 it's. a. cat.
Vargas: 6/10 muscle. That's all you're feeling.
Sam: 7/10 boney. I mean. Look at him. He gives good hugs though
Neige: 10/10 I totally forgot him last time but. Anyways he's the sweetest. He's soft. The best hugs.
Chenya: 9/10 like Floyd. Thankfully he won't Bite.
Grim: 11/10 more feral cat.
Part two: You hug them.
Riddle: 8/10 he's so happy. He might cry.
Ace: 9/10 will just lay on your chest and it's the most comfortable thing ever. -1 point for falling asleep and not moving for hours... You missed classes.
Deuce: 8/10 less awkward! More snoring.
Cater: 10/10 Leans into it. Falls asleep so fast.
Trey: 9/10 stiff but will relax over time. Back hugs. He loves them.
Leona: 10/10 not big on hugs but being hugged? Yes. He purrs.
Ruggie: 10/10 sleeps. his tail wags. It's adorable
Jack: 10/10 big softie. His tail wags and it's probably the best thing ever.
Azul: 9/10 Squishy. Again. Im not sure how to describe it but like human octopus? Idk he's literally and octopus so??
Jade: 7/10 you have to grab this mf. He's too tall. Good hug though.
Floyd: 9/10 Again. Grab him. Better hug than Jade
Kalim: 11/10 does this need an explanation? Big on being cuddled.
Jamil: 8/10 confused. He'll figure it out. Awkwardly hugs back
Vil: 7/10 0-0 <- his face. Hes just. There?
Rook: 8/10 hugs back. Pretty much the same as when he hugs you. -2 points for still keeping the hat.
Epel: 11/10 somehow better? He's lovin' it.
Idia: 8/10 Drops his console. Tries to grab it. Fails
Ortho: 10/10 lifts you. Like. He floats. As a happy response. It's shocking but like. So cute.
Malleus: 8/10 froze. Like Vil. He's just. There.
Lilia: 9/10 "oh. Okay!" Comfortable silence.
Silver: 10/10 asleep. +2 points for the birds.
Sebek: 8/10 Shocked. (Get it? Zigvolt) silently leans into it. Touch starved.
Crowley: 7/10 THE FEATHERS ARE SPIKY?! HOW?! Overall good.
Crewel: 8/10 same as p.1 just. Shocked. He's soft now?
Trein: 10/10 honestly. I don't know how'd he react. Would deffo hug back. It's a bonding moment. He cradles you in his arms.
Lucius the cat: 0/10 scratches you. Unless you've earned his love. 1000/10
Vargas: 8/10 hugs back too tight. You can't breathe.
Sam: 9/10 boney. But good? Somehow??
Neige: 11/10 melts into it. he literally cannot stop smiling.
Chenya: 11/10 Cat. Purrs. +1 for being purple. I love purple.
Grim: 11/10 another cat. Another. Cat.
Authors Note: spot the Voltron reference. Also holy moly I had no clue how to write this.
FLASH HEADCANONS!
Where I take a fandom and give a Headcanon for Every. Single. Character.
Twisted Wonderland! #1
Here we go!
Riddle: whenever a bug lands on him he freezes. Just stops.
Ace: His parents always shut down his beliefs. Very much a 'Stay in line and You'll be fine' type of family. (If requested I will rant on my HC Ace backstory)
Deuce: He calls his mother every day and one day she just starts crying and is all like 'Im so proud of you. You've changed so much and I love you.' and Deuce started crying too.
Cater: Does not actually care that much about Magicam. He just needed something to base his personality off of.
Trey: Uses southern insults All. The. Time. People talk to him and he's just 'Well good for you!' and people think he's the nicest.
Leona: If you put a weighted blanket on him he will just fall over like that one scene in Lilo and stitch.
Ruggie: Knows everyone. And I mean EVERYONE. Try to introduce him to someone new and he'll just be like 'OMG my old friend!' yeah.
Jack: Named his cactus Paula. Also Talks to it and uses it like a doll. (Like that one scene in DRDT)
Azul: His first experience with a land dweller was when he saw a coin fall from the surface and he followed it. There was a language barrier so he couldn't talk to them. He wonders how they're doing some days.
Jade: Had a bonding moment with Jack over their love for plants (mushrooms and cacti) also eats mushroom-spinach pizza (like me!)
Floyd: He bites. Also he's banned from playing against other schools in Basketball because of the sheer amount of fouls he gets. Jamil is so done.
Kalim: Will summon a rainbow to cheer someone up. He's precious.
Jamil: Doesn't actually hate Kalim. He just needs to be mad at someone. Oh also he cooks for the Basketball club and brings food to practice. Ace is his biggest fan.
Vil: Godly eye makeup. He's the one who gave Rook his feather in his hat.
Epel: Bad Ass Mother Fucker. He prefers to fight with his tounge rather than his fists. The only one to realize Trey's passive aggressiveness.
Rook: Will bring back fresh meat from his hunts. Him and Jade bring the best ingredients to the Cafeteria and no one knows.
Idia: one time he hid from people in an empty classroom for several hours after school. Ortho almost sent a search party.
Ortho: Spends hours analyzing his friends. Like as a hobby. He brings them perfectly planned gifts and they all love it.
Malleus: Lilia cuts his hair. He also polishes his horns. He secretly really enjoys Sebek's loyalty just wished he was quieter.
Silver: Takes care of the horses so well. They love him and will only accept food from him.
Sebek: He can be surprisingly quiet if you ask nicely. He gets loud again if he gets worked up. Autistic.
Lilia: He loves his sons. He ends up taking care of the whole Campus. No one in NRC can take care of themselves properly so he does it. Mockingbird by Eminem coded
Crowley: He shows up randomly and helps students. Lilia is taking a student to the infirmary? He's there and takes them for him. Leona is asleep in the botanical garden? Crowley kicks him away from the path. The teachers are so done with the chaos and are ready to combust? He's there. He will make the chaos worse and somehow contain it at the same time.
Crewel: He stays stocked up on potions ready to help any students that are ill, tired, or in any sort of pain. He will let you sleep in his classroom and will pull you into his office if he thinks somethings up. Many students have cried in front of him.
Trein: Will go out of his way to include history not taught in textbooks. Stuff about gay rights, racism, trans right, war crimes, fun facts about political leaders, etc. He does it all in the most monotone voice ever.
Lucius: The best cat. Used to be a stray wandering campus. Will bring gifts to students it likes. Recognized Leona as one of its own.
Vargas: Always down to help students. Oh you have Asthma? Good thing I have SEVENTEEN EXTRA INHALERS. You seem to be struggling a little why don't you sit down? Exercise without rest is as good as no exercise at all.
Sam: Will give freebies to students who need it. Oh you skipped lunch to study for a test? Good thing I have a sandwich just for you! Your pen broke? Which one do you want? Also will tell you all the tea.
Grim: Whenever he eats those blot crystals he suddenly knows all of the victims trauma which he reports to Yuu.
Yuu: Has serious conversations with Overblot victims. The best non licensed therapist.
Authors Note: It's 1:23 AM. I'm going to sleep.
OH THE PURE UTTER CHAOS-
@simpforsimeon you can't tell me that Ririana wouldn't do this if she was Idia's girlfriend because she WOULD do this-
Homewrecker, husband-stealer villainess!
Idia is not going anywhere, you hear me?! You might be happy being the other woman, but I'm not happy with the pair of horns!
NOTE: I only write for female Reader, but everyone is welcome to read!
Inspired by @adrianasunderworld in this funny as hell post.
THIS HAS A SEQUEL! What if we fake married for real? (ʃƪ＾3＾) ~★
"To give someone a pair of horns" is to cheat on them. Also, Rook gets involved because he'd absolutely adore to be part of the drama.
— (╬☉д⊙)⊰⊹ฺ
Idia knows he's not frozen like the others, but honestly, he feels like it. He feels like even his lungs, even his heart has stopped. All because of this cute-faced npc who forced her way into a romance route with him. If he could think about it, he'd think about that horror game with the same story, but right now his mind is blank.
He has reached the point of no return. Actually dying would just reinforce his fate.
Or, at least, is what he thought. Almost as if answering to his thoughts, there's a loud noise coming from the other side of the doors, followed by footsteps.
Then the doors are thrown open by none other than (Y/N), the Ramshackle Housewarden that the school affectionately tends to call "Prefect".
She's dressed to the nines in a breathtaking wedding gown, the skirt pooling around her like God-Tier CGI, the blue accents contrasting beautifully with the pearly white of the dress, the blue roses decorating her head in a crown making her look like Persephone herself. She'd look perfect, if it weren't for the tear streaks her make-up left behind.
Wait. Tear streaks?
The silence breaks with the Prefects loud, shrill screech, a sound no one has ever thought she, the usually soft spoken and gentle Prefect, would be capable of.
"HOMEWRECKER!"
Without stopping to breath, she walks forwards, looking angrier and angrier each step taken.
"How dare you, you conniving bitch?! How dare you steal my groom! ON OUR WEDDING DAY?!" she screams at Eliza, stopping in the middle of the way to point at... at Idia himself?! "And you! You good-for-nothing two-timer! How dare you leave me waiting at the altar?!"
"Young man, I am terribly disappointed!" Professor Crewel chides from behind her, and Idia finally notices the group that actually came in with her. "I did not give you permission to marry my daughter, my first and only daughter, for you to break her heart on her happiest day!"
"Big brother! How could you! Think of your child!" Ortho chimes in, and if Idia hadn't built tear tracks on the boy himself, he would believe firmly in his tears. "Little Meg would be so sad if her daddy just left for another woman!"
"Idia, what is the meaning of this?!" it's Eliza's turn to screech, turning to him with fury in her eyes. Idia stutters a few random letters, trying to form words, just as confused as she is.
Until it clicks.
Right. Fake relationship. How could he forget one of the most cliche tropes in romance's history?
"I... I... t-this isn't what it looks like!" he finally manages to say, trying to look as desperate as he can, which is not hard considering what his fate is in case this plan fails. "I can explain!"
"Is it because of my past with Rook?! "
"Young man, you're still hung up on that, despite being the only man I've ever approved for my daughter?"
"What?!" someone yells in the crowd, but the man in question promptly enters the play as if he was born for this moment alone.
"Monsieur, I have told you this already, but I shall say it again! My dear dove's happiness is the most important to me! If she has chosen you, then my heart shall settle!" What the fuck, why is Rook so good at improv?
"I-I know!" calm down, Idia, think of this as a rhythm game and keep the beat going! "I don't... I don't want this, but this villainess wouldn't listen!"
"Wait, so this woman is telling the truth?!"
"This woman?! THIS WOMAN?! You mean his true bride?!" (Y/N) steps closer, fat crocodile tears rolling down her cheeks, smudging her make-up even more. "You- you- you husband-stealer! Know your place! You come into my house, you steal my groom and the father of my daughter-"
"I see no child-"
"Do you think I'd bring my child to see my husband's mistress?!"
"Big sister, calm down, think of the baby! Your stress levels are dangerously high!"
"WHAT BABY?!"
"Monsieur Shroud, if you do not fix this situation, I shall be taking my belle back! Do not worry, the children will not grow without a father!"