Ebb - Blog Posts
The Chosen One
I haven't seen this theory, but was Ebb the actual Chosen One?
After rereading Carry On for like the second or third time, I just got the sense that maybe she was the one who was supposed to be the Chosen One.
For one, she is considered to be one hell of a powerful magician. Everyone acknowledges her power. I forget who said this, maybe the Mage, but if Simon didn't exist, than she probably would be the most powerful magician out there.
She never had a choice. It's a theme in Carry On about choice and 'destiny'. Agatha was supposed to be Simon's girl. Simon was the Hero™ and Baz was the Villain™. Everyone thought they were going to end each other. That was their ending. But it wasn't. Everyone's endings were definitely not the intended plan (and are still on going). Agatha really exemplifies this through her perspective. She gtfo cause Ebb never did. I think a point in Carry On is that you make your own choices and nothing is set in stone. (Which then disproves that prophecies exist, but we'll ignore that for now.) But Ebb never really had much of a choice. Whenever and whatever she did she'd always be involved in the wars, she'd be a threat or an ally. All she wanted was to raise her sheep, but the war came to her and she had to fight it. As if it was inevitable that she was supposed to save the day.
Also there's always Penny thoughts about gender in the world of the mages. Generally it's about gender stereotypes, specifically female stereotypes. But she makes one comment that makes me think Rainbow was trying to allude to something. I don't have the actual quote, because I'm lazy, but it was essentially Penny realizing rather the Chosen One, or Humdrum, or some other title could be female too, as she had just assumed that they were a he. So that makes me think it's more of a hint or *wink wink nudge nudge* from Rainbow that the information we're given isn't necessarily the 'right' information as it's all based on assumptions the world of mages has made. Which has been proven to not always be right, as demonstrated from our favourite trio when discovering that the Humdrum didn't actually cause the Watford Tragedy. And like a whole bunch of other stuff.
This is what I've sort of come to theorize. Now of course, Ebb didn't end the war. Simon got rid of the Humdrum and technically 'killed' the Mage. And who knows if the prophecy actually meant anything. Magic exists, but can it really tell the future? With all the effort the Mage did to look into it, it may have all been him just seeing the answers he wanted to see, not actual facts. (Side Note: what did he actually do to Lucy? To you know, make Simon the way he did? He made the most powerful magician, but how? What magic did he mess with?)
Anyways, it just feels like Ebb was a lot of things we never got to see or understand.
Thanks for reading this midnight ramble.
Words run through my veins
like a river
through my heart,
the pulse of life -
blue, purple, and green -
nourishing
my soul and my being
Prismatic memories
ebb in silence
Shimmering hope
flows through my dreams
A brief history of roses
Dogrose: Wow I sure love having softly coloured petals and an easily accessible center for pollination. Horticulturalists: I am going to ruin your whole career and needlessly complicate your entire existence and future
soil creature stew
Humans are more sensitive to petrichor than sharks are to blood. So, we obviously already hunted all the soil creatures to extinction. I imagine they made a good stew.
Mass-production
Today: Mass-production is the death of quality - a scourge of the modern age! The literal, classical Romans: What are you talking about we love our identical friendship cool army swords
How to make soup
This is not a recipe. Soup requires no recipe. Soup is soup. All you must remember is that food is love and food is for sharing. Now onto the recipe.
Whenever you prepare soup, you must tend to it. Unwatched stoves are the most common cause of housefires. What? Did you expect me to speak of the loneliness of unattended soup? I need not speak of unattended soup. You know what happens when you leave soup unattended. You will not like what happens when you leave soup unattended.
That's right - possibly a housefire.
Start with liquid - stock or water will do. If you are adding cream to the soup, do not add it yet, it does not do well with extended boiling. Next, find your meat, if you consume it. The bones are the best, and a chicken carcass is my favourite to start with, although lamb will always work wonderfully after hours of boiling and skimming off fat repeatedly. Here, you must extract all the flavour from the bones and leave them hollow like an old tree where you might find fairies - or a possum - there is no difference really. The meat should fall of the bones and swim in the water. Now, you add the chopped-up root vegetables. Carrots, potatoes, swede - whatever takes long to cook. Do not forget your grains - barley and rice are delicious additions to any soup, soaked for hours to absorb flavour. Heat this on a low heat with the lid on for a long time; it will not overflow. Turn off the heat and go to bed now. The soup and you both need rest. Continue to heat it the next morning. Add whatever else you wish (now or earlier even) - salt, pepper, leak, onion, garlic, basil, sage, thyme - it matters not to the hungry soup.
Serve the soup and share the soup. A soup ladle is designed to cradle the soup like you should cradle the ones you share the soup with. Gently.
Some may try to tell you that the soup is bland. That it has no substance and is not a meal worth treasuring or even cooking. Pay this no mind. There are many places, many times, many families, where not much was to be had. Tough meat and tougher vegetables were made soft and spread further with the love and time taken to craft them into soup. Whatever you have, it has always been worth taking pride in the dinner you serve. To sleep with quietened bellies is to sleep full of love.
To eat soup is to find comfort in whatever you have in the pantry or fridge or garden. To share soup is to find comfort in those around you.
Lady Macbeth
Lady Macbeth: I am a queen. *The king of Scotland existing* Lady Macbeth: I will be a queen.
Flash and Crash
Lace-making
Lace-making: So detailed, so fine - such skill shall surely be preserved for centuries to come! The rich: I love this lace and I am rich - so bury me in this The king: Think of the wool trade - I'm making all burial shrouds be woolen by law! Be sheep & do as everyone else does: The lace: Oh hi, I only exist know in old graves - and you don't know how to make me because you chose wool over my beauty The lace: If you stop paying attention to me for even a moment I shall perish like your loved ones I embrace long after you could
well IM eating sheet metal and you are missing out my friend
metal is so fucking good I'm eating it
Ryan: We are not here to hurt you. We just want to communicate Shane: SCRATCH MY NIPPLES Ghosts: ... I think we have different definitions of communication
look at this loser who’s never had a strawberry crumble - they all do that
Imagine a Star Trek type food replicator that lacks an internal library of approved outputs and instead uses a generative language model to figure out what you're asking for. People having to do Midjourney-style prompt crafting to get the meals they want out of it. Abusing the system by describing things that absolutely are not food in ways which circumvent the safeguards. Occasionally it produces something that tries to eat you back which it insists with perfect confidence is in fact a strawberry crumble.
Beowulf
Hrothgar: Beowulf! I'm so glad you're here! Finally, you can slay the monster Grendel! Hrothgar: Beowulf where is your sword? Beowulf:... Hrothgar: Beowulf please tell me you brought a sword.
On a hot air balloon, September 21st 1783
Sheep: Dear heavens, there is fire. What is happening. Rooster: Hey, hey, hey, watch this. Duck: Why are we here Sheep: WHY ARE WE FLOATING?!!! Why am I here?!!! *The sheep was chosen because it was believed to be a reasonable approximation of a human's physiology and psychology*
I imagine the rooster and duck were chosen because, presumably, birds would remain calm when flying in a hot air balloon.
Someone show me a rooster that has ever been calm.
Nettles (alive & dead)
Nettle: Fear me for I have the sting of the bee and none of its' glass cannon character Dead Nettle: Attack of nerves I as me be cognizant of the acidity concerning the queen and nary one as to its' lens artillery DNA
Nettles (alive, dead) and dock leaves
The stinging nettle (Urtica dioica): A bee sting in plant form. Both give you acidic stings, but whilst a bee will die after a single sting, the nettle holds no such melodrama. Importantly, the underside of the nettle has no stinging needles - using this, a nettle leaf can be folded and eaten. Quite delicious, but like oysters, it is best to only chew them just enough to experience the flavour. Unlike oysters, it is an established tea.
The dock leaf (Rumex obtusifolius): The apologetic, unassuming, elder sibling of our funny little trio. Never too far behind the stinging nettle, growing in the same habitat, it is a welcome gift for the unlucky or unwary. Simply crushing it's flat, broad leaf, arranged in small clumps, low to the ground, and rubbing the remains on the sting will greatly ease the pain. Unfortunately, as some kind of earthy punishment for irresponsible agricultural practices, or maybe it's simply prone to seasickness, it did not accompany the stinging nettle on its torment to Australia.
(Important note: it is NOT a certified doctor, and, in fact, does not hold any kind of medical certificate or degree).
The dead nettle (Lamium purpureum): Surprisingly, edible, and harmless enough. It's pretty pink-ish-purple flowers will ruin its disguise in certain seasons, along with its ever-present diminutive size. The dead nettle relies on the terrifying reputation of the stinging nettle to warn away anyone and anything. Yet, it you touch one, you will find no sting. Like if the spirit of the plant it pretends to be manifests in that sting, it finds itself lacking something it will never achieve. However, for the dead nettle, once that sting is proven absent, it's likely already dead - possibly uprooted for its uncanny skill of growing in driveways.