Engenes - Blog Posts
It Was Never Just Fun
part two
part three
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࿐ ࿔:･ﾟPairing: fwb!riki x female!reader
࿐ ࿔:･ﾟGenre: angst
࿐ ࿔:･ﾟWarnings: curse words
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The music inside the party was deafening, the bass rattling through y/n’s chest as she weaved through the crowd. It smelled like expensive perfume and alcohol, bodies pressed together in the dimly lit room, but she didn’t care about any of it. Not when her eyes were locked on him.
Riki was leaning against the bar, laughing at something a girl whispered in his ear. She was close—too close—her manicured nails tracing along the sleeve of his jacket like she had every right to be there. And the worst part? He wasn’t stopping her.
Y/n felt her stomach twist, a sick, ugly feeling clawing at her insides. She didn’t move, didn’t say anything. She just stood there, watching, feeling like an idiot for expecting anything different.
She should have left. Should have turned around and walked right out of the party like none of this mattered. But instead, she grabbed a drink off the nearest table and downed it in one go, ignoring the burn in her throat. She needed something—anything—to drown out the anger rising in her chest.
Because this wasn’t supposed to hurt.
They weren’t supposed to be like this.
They were just messing around—no strings, no feelings. That was the deal. That was what Riki wanted.
So why the fuck did it feel like she was suffocating?
She didn’t wait for him to notice her before she turned on her heel and stormed outside, the cold air slapping her in the face as she stepped onto the empty street.
She shouldn’t care. She shouldn’t care. She shouldn’t care.
But she did.
And she hated herself for it.
y/n was halfway down the sidewalk when she heard footsteps behind her, heavy and hurried.
“Y/n—”
She clenched her jaw, her steps quickening. “Don’t.”
“Y/n, stop.”
His voice was sharp, cutting through the night like a knife. She let out a bitter laugh but stopped anyway, turning to face him.
Riki stood there, breathing hard, his jaw tight. He looked frustrated—maybe even angry. Like she was the problem. Like she was the one making things complicated.
“What the fuck was that?” he demanded.
She let out a harsh laugh. “Are you seriously asking me that right now?”
“Yes, I am.” His voice was lower now, more serious. “You just disappeared. You could’ve at least told me—”
“Told you what, Riki?” she snapped, cutting him off. “That I was sick of standing there, watching you flirt with someone else like I don’t even fucking exist?”
His expression flickered, something unreadable passing through his eyes. “It wasn’t like that.”
“Oh, fuck off,” she spat. “It’s always like that. Every single time.”
Riki dragged a hand through his hair, exhaling sharply. “y/n, you knew what this was.”
She laughed again, but this time, it was empty. “Right. No feelings, no expectations. Just fucking and pretending like it means nothing.” She took a step closer, her voice lowering. “But here’s the thing, Riki—I can’t do it anymore. I can’t keep acting like I don’t care when I do. I can’t keep pretending I’m okay with being just another girl you push aside when you get bored.”
His eyes darkened. “That’s not what this is.”
“Then what is it?” she challenged.
He opened his mouth, then closed it.
And that was the problem, wasn’t it?
Riki felt something. She knew he did. It was in the way he kissed her when no one was looking, the way he always pulled her back in after every argument, the way he always found her in a crowded room like he couldn’t help himself.
But he would never say it.
Because if he admitted it, then it would be real. And if it was real, then he couldn’t just walk away when it got too much.
“Say it,” she pushed, her voice trembling now. “Say you don’t feel anything for me, and I’ll walk away right now.”
He stared at her, his chest rising and falling, his hands clenched into fists like he was fighting some invisible war.
Seconds passed. Then more.
And then he shook his head. “You don’t get it.”
“No, you don’t get it,” she shot back. “You’re scared. You’re so fucking scared of actually feeling something that you’d rather push me away than admit it.”
His jaw tightened, but he didn’t deny it.
And that was all the confirmation she needed.
y/n exhaled, taking a step back. Her heart felt like it was being ripped apart, but she forced herself to meet his gaze one last time.
“I can’t be the only one fighting for this, Riki.” Her voice was barely above a whisper now. “If you don’t want me, just say it. Say it so I can stop fucking hurting like this.”
Silence.
His lips parted like he wanted to say something—anything—but nothing came out.
Y/n nodded to herself, swallowing the lump in her throat. “That’s what I thought.”
She turned around and started walking, ignoring the way her vision blurred, ignoring the way her chest ached.
She kept waiting for him to stop her.
But he didn’t.
And that hurt more than anything else ever could.
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masterlist
Idk if I like thisss but I already have part two done so just lmk if you guys want it!!
reblog and comment <3
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NO EXCUSES THIS TIME U ALL, LET’S GET THESE AWARDS FOR ENHA YOU CAN LITERALLY JUST DO ATTENDANCE IN DUCKAD AND IDOL CHAMP AND THIS WILL HELP A LOT!!!!
