England Wnt - Blog Posts

Watch my shattered edges glisten| Leah Williamson x young!reader (platonic)

Summary; Being so good so young brings a lot of attention to you, especially when you make a simple mistake. Leah notices you struggling and helps you as you begin to crack under the pressure. Inspired by "Mirrorball" by my mother, Taylor Swift.

Pairings; Leah Williamson x young!reader (platonic), lionesses x reader (platonic)

Words; 2k

Warnings; sad, swearing, angst.

A/N; Is it too much to ask just to be comforted by Leah. Sorry about the sadness but it's so fun to write and play it out in my head. A little it rushed but I wanted to get something out and i'm off work sick so very clearly bored atm. Enjoy.

It was no secret that Leah felt a need to protect you and basically adopt you when you entered the senior team just a few months ago. You were quite young, like most of the other girls were when they got their first call ups, but there was a naivety and innocence to you that she felt the need to take you under her wing very quickly.

You had excelled very easily in the youth and U23 squads, becoming one of the best defenders for your age and following closely behind in the footsteps of the one and only Leah Williamson. So when you got that call from Sarina inviting you to your first senior camp, you were both excited and extremely nervous to be in the presence of your biggest inspirations.

There was a lot of press when your call up was publicly announced, people who had watched you in the younger squads cheering you on and other fans ready to see how you would fit within the senior team. A lot of the younger players in the squad were more than excited to hear of you finally moving up, most of you playing together and growing up together at national camps over the years. So there was no reason for you to worry about when arriving at St Georges park for the first time.

But the thought about being in an unfamiliar environment with new people and a new team still made you nervous. So it was understandable that you were quiet and reserved for the first day, still greeting everyone but unsure of where your place in the squad was just yet. The girls you had grown up with were lovely as always but it had been a few years since you were all together, so it was different. 

That's when Leah knew she had to make the effort and ensure your transition to the senior squad was smooth and easy, making you comfortable with the girls which would benefit your performance on the field.

"Hey, y/n!" A voice called out to you, making you turn your head to find the Leah Williamson waving you over to her table. You swallowed your nerves before walking over to her with your breakfast tray in your shaky hands. She shifted over to make a space for you between herself and Keira. That was the first and certainly not the last time Leah had made sure you felt welcome and  supported on the team. 

A few camps in and everyone was calling you a mini Leah, not that you minded. You and the older defender had a lot in common, making it easy to get along and create a sisterly bond quite easily. 

Despite being in a lower-ranked team of the WSL, many people already knew who you were and were ready to support you as you joined the senior squad. This helped with your nerves as you waited to sub on during your first national game, hearing the home crowd cheer as your number displayed beside Leah's.

"You've got this little one." Leah whispered as she hugged you, making your heart swell and your eyes roll at the nickname before you ran out and took her place on the field next to Millie and Lotte.

It's safe to say your run with the national team has been going quite well since your first game, finding yourself appearing in every match and even starting in the two in the previous camp.

Your impressive defensive skills and tactics had been noticed when you were on national duty and during regular matches, causing your agent to call you with many offers from many different clubs in the WSL and even other leagues. But there was one that stood out and would be a no-brainer to transfer during the January window, especially as a place to work on your skills ahead of the World Cup this summer.

So you officially left the club that started your professional career at 18 just three years ago and set off to North London, moving into Leah's flat; nice and close to the Colney.

It was in a friendly against Australia where you made a simple mistake that would impact you and your career so harshly, so quickly.

3 months out from the world cup and this one mistake almost cost you your spot in the World Cup squad... or so you were made to believe.

It was a simple mistake that plenty of players all over the world had made before; stepping out that little bit too much during a tackle and risking the player you were trying to mark, especially with the current weather conditions. That's all it took. But you knew the moment your studs hit Kyra's boot, your match was over.

The whistle was blown within seconds of her body hitting the floor and her grabbing onto her foot where your studs had accidently landed. You looked down to where her team was beginning to surround her, frozen in place until a hand on your shoulder shook you out of it and your head moved the ref who was reaching in her back pocket. The red card came into view and although you knew it was coming, your heart still sunk as she wrote your number on the back.

A few of the England girls began to start arguing with ref that it should have at least been a yellow, but you knew there was no point, anyone could see that it was a definite red and you were officially benched for the rest of the game and the next one coming. So with a hung head you walked off the field and over to the tunnel, the voices of your teammates and the disappointed home crowd blurring into the background, everything feeling as though it was in slow motion as the rain continued to fall.

"I'm sorry." You spoke to Sarina who silently nodded her head at you, both a sympathetic and disappointed look on her face as you passed by and walked down to the change room.

You sat down on the bench in front of your cubby and stared down at the boots that let down the team and left them a man down with 20 minutes still to go.

There was something bubbling in your chest that should have been anger at the situation but it was just bitter disappointment in yourself and that was ultimately worse. Water formed in your eyes and your throat began closing up as you bit back the tears that were trying to escape, but you couldn't let them.

You ended up showering and changing into your tracksuit as you waited for the match to end and what you presumed would be a lot of upset teammates ready to storm in and hurl their anger towards you. You curled up in your cubby, headphones on but no music playing, and closed your eyes as you waited.

You were so buried within yourself that you hadn't noticed all the girls coming in and spotting you making yourself so small, breaking all of their hearts as they could see how hard you were taking this.

It was Esme who eventually disturbed you, tapping your shoulder gently, silently nodding to the door of the once again empty changeroom after everyone began to leave for the bus.

She threw her arm around you, tucking you into her side as you walked out to the back and towards the bus where everyone was waiting. Once again you were left alone by the girls on the bus, they could see you were utterly disappointed and didn't want to accidentally make it worse. So although you were sat by yourself, you could feel 22 pairs of eyes on you every so often, but most intensely from a blonde captain further back on the bus.

It didn't take long for the press to have their say on the incident, immediately shaming you for your mistake and basically flushing your name and reputation down the toilet. So as you mindlessly scrolled through social media on the way back, your feed was filled with posts and comments about the incident. You knew better than to read what they wrote about you, but you couldn’t stop, obsessed with reading every article that featured your name. 

Most of the comments were the same, things like "how dangerous it really could have been" and that you were "young and reckless and irresponsible with your choices as a defender." Deep down you knew they were wrong about you but it was hard to fight through the voices saying they were right and that you were a bad footballer. 

Leah started to get worried when you were not only ignoring the other girls, but then you began distancing yourself upon returning home with her. You stayed in your room as much as you could and tried to stay away from Leah but it was hard when living in the same house. 

The night that you got back she barely heard from you, wanting to respect your privacy for as long as she could but when she heard your soft cries through the door she couldn’t ignore it any longer. 

“Y/N?” She knocked softly on the door, waiting for a response but you stayed quiet. “I’m coming in okay.” She gave a warning before opening the door softly, her eyes instantly finding you tucked into the covers facing away from the door. “Oh little one.” 

Her soft voice made a sob finally escape and you began properly breaking down for the first time. She hated seeing you like this, contrastingly different to the bubbly, mischievous person you were known to be. She crawled up under the covers, rolling you over and placing your head upon her chest.

“What can I do?” She began smoothing your hair with her fingers, she knew this is what came with becoming a footballer in the spotlight but she didn’t think it would get you this early in your career. 

“Just hold me please.” Your voice was soft and broken, trying to stop the images and words they were saying from spiralling in your mind. 

“None of what they say is true, I need you to know that.” Leah spoke again after a few minutes of silence, finally feeling your breathing slow and the tears stopping. “It was an accident and you know it, I know it, she knows it and they know it too.” She was referring to Kyra who you had already sent a message to, apologising for hurting her and the media who were riling up a story to fill their articles full of nonsense for more money.

“This does not change who you are as a person or a player, it happens to everyone and it will go away once they find something new to talk about. But you need to ignore them.” She continued, waiting for any kind of response. “Promise me you’ll ignore them.” Leah looked down at you, tapping your head as a signal to look up at her. 

“I promise.” You gave her a small smile while nodding. 

“Come on, let’s go eat some smileys.” She flung the covers off and pushed you up with a laugh, getting one out of you for the first time since it happened. 

“You have the pallet of a five year old.” You shook your head as you crawled out of your bed. 

“And what about it?” She wrapped an arm around your shoulder as you exited out to the kitchen, pressing a small kiss to your head as you walked together. 

It was at that moment you felt truly grateful for Leah and all she had given you since joining the Lionesses and Arsenal. She took you in and gave you an environment to thrive and be comfortable in a new place when she didn’t have any obligation to. But you would forever be in debt to her kindness and never reject anything she gave to you. 

Screaming, crying, throwing up