hi, Charity! I hope you’re doing well. I’m writing to you because a year or two ago I got into cognitive functions and typed myself as an INFP 4w5 after some reading. However, going through your WordPress pages (as well as learning that Nines have a tendency to mistype) has me rethinking some things, and I’d be curious about your observations if you have the time/inclination to share them… [deleted]
9 is a type rather like 6 and 3, in that it is universally misunderstood, and all three of them present differently in a person depending on their stacking, their fixes, and their MBTI type. Some 9s report never feeling angry, and some tell me they are infuriated almost all the time. So, some 9s are more aware of their anger, and others are not.
I guess the question for you would be – if you had to sacrifice being “me” in order to keep the peace in a relationship (put aside yourself), would/could you do it relatively easily? That suggests a 9 desire to stay calm and be at peace with yourself (avoiding inward and outer conflict) would outrank the desire to be “true to oneself.”
I get asked about 4-9 vs. 9-4 a lot, and for the latter, I usually point to Rose in Titanic as an example of a 4-9. She is STILL primarily all emotion (“I don’t know what this is, but I trust it… and I’m getting off this boat with you”), she has a tendency to view herself as superior to others (“the difference between Cal and my taste in art is I have some”), she is angry at not being allowed to be true to herself, and given the chance to do so, she embraces it happily. I have the feeling a lot of 4 cores would understand her completely, whereas a lot of 9 cores would “sort of” get her desire to be fully true to herself but also find her melodramatic. She often causes trouble with passive-aggressive behaviors (insulting Mr. Ismay at lunch and embarrassing Cal after he puts out her cigarette, for example) as a 4-9 that a 9-4 might avoid out of their lack of a desire to break a connection to the people around them.
For a 9-4, I’d look at Faramir from The Lord of the Rings. Gentle, peaceful, kind (as 9 cores tend to be), but still very wounded by his failures, prone to melancholic depression, internalizes criticisms deeply, out of his lower 4ish sense of being the “unwanted, unloved son” who must prove himself – but his 9w1 often chooses what is “right” (releasing Frodo) over what he feels. He’s a gut type, thus he goes off his instincts and his emotional responses are secondary. Less elitism, less desire to provoke trouble, less desire to assert himself, very 9ish in his need to maintain the peace. But he is by no means “weak.”
You sound more 9-4 to me than the reverse, just from what you wrote. As for whether you are an ENFP or not… a 9-core INFP is far more tolerant and permissive and open-minded (because 9s automatically see “all sides” / hearing an argument makes them nod and go “that’s fair too”) than other INFPs, due to the nature of 9 being fluid. So if you factor that in and still can’t decide, I’d ask yourself what you are more comfortable with using for hours at a time – Te or Si, and whether you can shut down your Fi to make a hard decision. ENFPs find that far easier than INFPs.
- ENFP Mod