So, what do I do on my free days?
I wake up late, search for a cup of coffee,
Make myself a plate easy breakfast and then
It’s a day of selfcare.
I think of the books to read and shows to watch
I lay down on the grass and look at the sky.
I paint my nails and I curl my hair
Then bunch them and use a ribbon to tie.
Sometimes I look in the mirror and I can see
See a void but then it disappears
Then I think of having some tea
So, I put the pan up and sit on the chair
Waiting
Waiting
Waiting
The water boils over
I feel all drunk
Even when I am sober
I am sitting and sitting and sitting
I can see the sun rise and set and rise and set
The clock tics toks tics toks tics toks and tics
And I lie on my bed and lie to my self
The void in me is rising and burning and singing
The void is hungry so, its eating
Eating me and the soul and the light
Selfcare maybe is lying in bed
Feel a little dead
But I just stay and stay and stay
Then there is the night and then the day
And then something clicks
I thinks the void is full, it had its share
It is going back in and there is this light
This light, a crack on the wall
I find myself standing tall
I look at the clock oh its been just four hours
But then my cell phone beeps
‘hey there you’ve been missing from the outside world for a week’
My eyes readjust, my mouth is dry
I reach for water, there is a pan with burnt tea leaves
There is a cup of coffee half drunk
I look into the mirror, there is ribbon tangled in my hair
Well I guess this is the end of a day of selfcare
and believe me, I can feel it in the air
I am falling again.
I Am Falling Again.
So, what do I do on my free days?
I wake up late, search for a cup of coffee,
Make myself a plate easy breakfast and then
It’s a day of selfcare.
I think of the books to read and shows to watch
I lay down on the grass and look at the sky.
I paint my nails and I curl my hair
Then bunch them and use a ribbon to tie.
Sometimes I look in the mirror and I can see
See a void…
View On WordPress
You know, ive always wanted to talk about what happened, but he kept avoiding it. So, i went on with my life. I found my own twisted version of closure and i got better every day. I moved on, and i knew i would be fine alone. It was like we had never even happened, and i learned to be okay with that. But then my friend joked that i was a heartbreaker and i replied that everyone else breaks my heart. Just normal sarcasm. We didnt mean anything about it. Then he overheard and looked at me. Id never seeen him so sincere. "It was all my fault." Ina ll the time id known him, i have never sene him look so serious. So sorry. Id finally moved on. Id finally gotten over the pain he left me with. I had finally forgiven him. Or maybe i just like to think i did, because here i am once again, my thoughts being consumed with nothing but him