Ftm Hrt - Blog Posts

somewhat nsft,

but YALL IM ALREADY HAVING BOTTOM GROWTH OMG

yall so.. i actually started hrt 2 weeks ago (this week thursday will be my 3rd injection!) and i didnt make a post bc my dumbass got too lazy to buy (also poor) the trans flag to put up so i just printed out a picture and taped it on my wall LMAO

im gonna buy it soon yall!! along with the trans icon blåhaj :3

ALSO ITS FREE!!! BC MY INSURANCE IN NYS LEGALLY HAS TO INSURE ALL GENDER REAFFIRMING CARE SO ID ONLY END UP PAYING FOR THE NEEDLES IF ANYTHING

also picture of the pretty girl since yall haven’t seen her in a bit

day i start hrt is the day i will hang up my trans flag yall, just need to buy it first :3 🙏

IWANNASTART HRT NOW PLEASEEE PLEASEHWBBA PLEASEEEE WHY IS THE APPT FOR 4/10 IMGOJNA CEY PLEWSE PELASW

day i start hrt is the day i will hang up my trans flag yall, just need to buy it first :3 🙏

IWANNASTART HRT NOW PLEASEEE PLEASEHWBBA PLEASEEEE WHY IS THE APPT FOR 4/10 IMGOJNA CEY PLEWSE PELASW

IM SO JEALOUS OF GUYS ON HRT I WANNA BE ON HRT SO BAD FUCK WHY DID I HAVE TO PROMISE MY MOM I WOULDNT START UNTIL I STARTED THERAPY THERAPISTS ARE SO FUCKING EXPENSIVE IM HAVING SO MUCH GENDER ENVY GOD I WANNA LOOK MORE MASCULINE SO BADLY OH MY GOD

Am I just going to be feminine forever or something?

Hey all, I wrote some months ago about my concerns over lack of results while on testosterone. Giving an update here and to check back and see if anyone has any new input because I'm trying to stay patient and positive, but it's mega frustrating to be about 2 yrs on T and still be misgendered as female by the general public. :( Especially when I get referred to as "young lady" and my cis female coworkers get misgendered as "young boy." They don't look like boys at all, like they have long pretty hair and wear make up (they aren't very curvy or big chested but still), I don't get it. It sucks for all of us.

I have about 4 hairs on my chin and the barest of hints of fuzz on my upper lip. Granted, my brpther also has a hard time growing facial hair too so I'm not super surprised. My voice, while less chipmunk, is still very feminine. I still have a "soft" looking face and very feminine body (curvy with hips). My clit is still pretty tiny and I am STILL getting my period.

My endocrinologist has no idea why I'm still getting my period. Saw a gynocologist and she doesn't know. So now I have an IUD in to help with it, and while it helps with the amount of blood, I am STILL menstruating and I've had it in for almost half a year now. I've had tons of ultrasounds and they all come back normal. All of my bloodwork comes back low estrogen and high testosterone, but I'm not seeing hardly any effects.

I'm hopefully getting top surgery done within the next year so maybe that will help me not be misgendered so much... and then maybe I'll get around to finally ripping out my uterus and stuff.

So, consensus? Maybe I'm just always going to be feminine no matter what I do. I'll make peace with it if that's what it's going to be, but I really want to be at least recognizable...

Am I just being impatient? Is something wrong or is this just going to be who I am? Should I consult my endo about it some more? Anyone else have these results?

I'll stop whining/ranting now.

the effects are just daft punk lmao

⚠️ warning: side effects of testosterone ⚠️

✅ harder

✅ better

✅ faster

✅ stronger

we can make your feminization dreams come true just kickstart with our monthly HRT plans and within 4 to 6 months you will have your own jiggling breast just kickstart with our monthly plans and thank me later DM me for more information ℹ️ℹ️ℹ️ contact our website: https://femtech.ca

An urgent warning for all my queer homies: there are malicious, false ads circulating on social media for HRT supplements designed to gather a list of trans people and their addresses.

Along with just being useless sugar pill supplements. Fun all around, right?

A good reminder to be vigilant about where you seek out gender affirming care, especially if you live in a suppressive state like I do. Source your supplies and care from reputable queer support groups and always do your research before doing business with an unfamiliar supplier.

It sucks ass that anyone has to be this vigilant, but this is where we are unfortunately. Be aware, not scared. That’s always been my policy, and I will do my part to keep the community informed when something dangerous arises. Stay safe, y’all.

merry t-dickmas 😍

first change on testosterone: boy smell

One Month on T!!!!!!

So I hit one month on t a couple days ago and changes are thus:

more body hair everywhere especially on my stomach and arms but I'm a little more fuzzy everywhere

enough facial hair that i felt the need to shave it and did with success

deeper voice but not that much deeper and not since about two to three weeks

I'm not exhausted anymore which is nice. I'm glad that effect has worn off

maybe a little hungrier

One more thing. I would like to put forth an unforeseen effect of t-gel specifically. I have not had a stable nigh time routine in years, and the fact that I'm taking t-gel every night and it's something I can't just skip has turned it into an actual routine for me. I brush my teeth and wash my face, then shower, moisturize my face, t-gel, and pajamas. I feel so much better in the evenings and it is so much easier to fall asleep it's insane.

Absolutely love that my blogs name is stupid little queer, because every time I get a notification that my mutuals (whom I love so dearly) post, Tumblr always roasts me

"Hey Stupid Little Queer, your mutal just posted again"

"Your gonna love this one you dumb little stupid queer"

"Hey Faggot-"

It makes me smile every time, thank you Tumblr

I love bring able to see tras people grown up, I love seeing adult trans people, I love knowing we've been here forever, and we're still here

I love knowing there's a place for me in the world, that I'm not going to grow out of this, that you didn't and neither will I.

I love this, I love you

The evolution of (trans) man.

(Well, this one, anyway.)

Age 9: "Tomboy"

Age 15: Strictly enforced femininity

Age 30: Hitting the mental limits of being closeted all his life and about to crash HARD

Age 47: Fifteen years now since starting transition. Far more good days than bad, no regrets.

The world may be full of uncertainty and danger, but I resolve to continue to find joy in who I am. Be joyful to be kind to yourself and be joyful to spite the bastards who would tear us apart.

Got an ask recently that called this pfp a "transmasc Emily" and I have not stopped thinking about it all day

Me Before HRT:

Me after HRT:

Trans Tips #10!

List off parts of yourself that you DO like!

I always see "oh I don't like this or that, I don't pass for this reason or another" ect ect ect (Also I'm totally a hypocrit for this) BUT

MAKE A LIST OF THINGS YOU DO LIKE!!!

In the process of making my Pfp, I had to think about what my face and stuff looks like, that makes it look most like me out of all of these options

MAKE LISTS OF THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF

I have a mutual, I can't remember who, but somebody said they also did voice training, and (as a singer) they could no longer reach higher pitch notes

ID BE SO EUPHORIC OF THAT FACT!!! THATS FUCKING AWESOME!!!

I can change a tire! I aired my tires and had to change one recently!!! IM STILL LIVING OFF OF THE EUPHORIA OF THAT!

This post is derailing rapidly, so I'll move on to the example part of my post!

My lovely PFP in question! I used a stardew valley pfp creator to make it. I've only played a tiny bit of stardew valley, but @wizzom showed it to me months ago, and now I'm using it for my profile!

I had to select different characteristics that matched my face, and it made me think objectively about myself,

As an artist, I had to pull myself apart by my tiny details instead of looking at the big picture. Overall, I don't pass, my features work together to look at little more fem, but each characteristic made me feel better about myself

My hair is blue! Not really a masculine or feminine thing, it just is (it's also very grown own, so you can see my very long dark roots, but whatever)

My hair is wavy, very similar to my Dad's, which already makes me feel good

My hair is very long! I have been cutting/shaving my hair for the better part of 4 years, all through high school, and I'm finally letting it grow out. I feel like there's a nice punk element to it, but also, if my femininity was highlighted with short hair, may my masculinity be defined by my long, luxurious, wavy hair

I have sun kisses on my cheeks, bridge of my nose, and shoulders from repeatedly burning and peeling. Now they're very faint freckles

I am white, but I'm not super pale. I tan very good and will be outside more when summer hits. This is the closest I could get to my skin tone

I have very thick, bushy eyebrows. My fiancé jokes about them being patchy and fucked up near the ends, and that they're just very bold and wildly thick

I have a big forehead, also like my dad!

I have more of a rounded nose (Fiance calls it a snub/snoobie nose) which i get more from my mom

I have very, very dark brown eyes to the point that in the shade, people often can't tell my pupil from my iris. It's only clear in direct sunlight

I have some eye bags, I work and overnight/revolving shift at work, and just naturally have a droopy, depressed, tired resting face

I don't have a beard (YET), but in my dream post, this is very similar to the beard I had. In my dream, my beard was my natural brown, but this pfp creator wouldn't let me change the facial hair color. (Low key love the look tho)

I do have a giant brown leather jacket that I wear constantly, he's scuffed and fucked up, I got him from a thrift store, but he has personality and I love him

I wear alot of horror t-shirts, mostly black with red accents, which is why the shirt is that color

Also, all of my shirts either have a wide neck or I've stretched the neck. I have ADHD and sensory issues and can not handle shit touching my throat. I WILL throw up (same with tags, I rip them off of everything I own/wear. I just can't)

The character creator wouldn't let me add piercings, but I have 3 facial piercings. My right eyebrow, septum, and tongue ring

I have a wider/boxier/chubbier face shape, with a soft jawline. I have convinced myself that that + my big forehead makes me look more masc

I like to joke that I have those soft masculine looks that girls are jealous of (male long lashes, boys soft kissable lips, guys with big butts, ect) just to help re-frame how I think about that stuff

I have a very broad back, I'm working out more to try and build muscle, but I'm happy for my wide back

I can go on but you get the point. Everything i try and reframe into being masculine. It can be difficult with dysphoria, but I continue to try!

Anyway, please message me! Put shit in my ask box! Comment! Add your own traits that you love! Please please please please please interact I WANNA SEE HOW YOU SEE YOURSELF

Is that a transmasc Emily pfp I see (so incredibly based)

1: I BARELY know what your talking about (Stardew Valley)

2: This is INCREDIBLY funny to me

Answer: No! Very sadly! I completely forgot she also had blue hair. I, too, have blue hair and Pronouns!

I used a stardew valley pfp creator and made myself! There's a post somewhere on this blog going over the reasons I chose certain design elements but that's just (mostly) how I look, lol!

Trans Tips #11!

Try to get some sort of Gender Affriming Gear if it's safe for you to!

I've always wanted things like binders and boxers, but but I was gender fluid and making entirely too many excuses for why I "didn't need it"

GET IT

I have been out for about 3 months now as a full trans guy, but I've presented masculinely for the last few years

As of this year (2025) my fiance has been gifting me more trans affirming items. They got me FNAF boxers that just feel great, and a packer (boxers with a bulge) and we are looking into safe binders together to pick out the best ones for me

The point is that I LOVE all of this! I love my packer, I love sitting/standing in ways that show it off, and I love the weight and feel of it! Sure I felt silly at first because it's a little silly looking but I've gotten so much more confident with it! Even if you can't wear a packer, boxers were my first step and they also felt amazing! Something about them is just so gender affirming!

Right now I just wear sports bras but it still works to somewhat flatten my chest. And I love that!

The point is to stop making excuses, obviously if your living in an unsafe environment is understand if you can't but if you can! Then it's just a game changer!

You don't need to be "more masc" or more fucking anything to wear what makes you more comfortable!

I love my packer, I love my sports bra, I love my boxers, I love my cargo pants, I love my body and my skin and what I'm willing to do to feel comfortable in it day-to-day is spend a couple dollars here and there to get gender affirming gear!

What are you willing to do to feel comfortable in your skin today?

this is also prolly a good time to mention...I have absolutely no clue how to operate a picrew thingy whatever it is

i dont even know if I have access to it 😭

and also my Tumblr acc doesn't let me DM so I'm here 😭

And I didn't even see this ask! I'm so sorry it took so long for me to reply!

You click on this! It's the big, bold, underlined caption that says "The Picrew" under the first image

Apparently, it's an embedded link that opens the pic crew icon designer website, so if you just click on those words it should let you make yours!

Once you finish, hold down on the picture and it'll let you download it or copy to your clipboard

Then you can reblog with yours!

I'm excited to see what you'll make, lol!

Trans Tips #10!

List off parts of yourself that you DO like!

I always see "oh I don't like this or that, I don't pass for this reason or another" ect ect ect (Also I'm totally a hypocrit for this) BUT

MAKE A LIST OF THINGS YOU DO LIKE!!!

In the process of making my Pfp, I had to think about what my face and stuff looks like, that makes it look most like me out of all of these options

MAKE LISTS OF THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF

I have a mutual, I can't remember who, but somebody said they also did voice training, and (as a singer) they could no longer reach higher pitch notes

ID BE SO EUPHORIC OF THAT FACT!!! THATS FUCKING AWESOME!!!

I can change a tire! I aired my tires and had to change one recently!!! IM STILL LIVING OFF OF THE EUPHORIA OF THAT!

This post is derailing rapidly, so I'll move on to the example part of my post!

My lovely PFP in question! I used a stardew valley pfp creator to make it. I've only played a tiny bit of stardew valley, but @wizzom showed it to me months ago, and now I'm using it for my profile!

I had to select different characteristics that matched my face, and it made me think objectively about myself,

As an artist, I had to pull myself apart by my tiny details instead of looking at the big picture. Overall, I don't pass, my features work together to look at little more fem, but each characteristic made me feel better about myself

My hair is blue! Not really a masculine or feminine thing, it just is (it's also very grown own, so you can see my very long dark roots, but whatever)

My hair is wavy, very similar to my Dad's, which already makes me feel good

My hair is very long! I have been cutting/shaving my hair for the better part of 4 years, all through high school, and I'm finally letting it grow out. I feel like there's a nice punk element to it, but also, if my femininity was highlighted with short hair, may my masculinity be defined by my long, luxurious, wavy hair

I have sun kisses on my cheeks, bridge of my nose, and shoulders from repeatedly burning and peeling. Now they're very faint freckles

I am white, but I'm not super pale. I tan very good and will be outside more when summer hits. This is the closest I could get to my skin tone

I have very thick, bushy eyebrows. My fiancé jokes about them being patchy and fucked up near the ends, and that they're just very bold and wildly thick

I have a big forehead, also like my dad!

I have more of a rounded nose (Fiance calls it a snub/snoobie nose) which i get more from my mom

I have very, very dark brown eyes to the point that in the shade, people often can't tell my pupil from my iris. It's only clear in direct sunlight

I have some eye bags, I work and overnight/revolving shift at work, and just naturally have a droopy, depressed, tired resting face

I don't have a beard (YET), but in my dream post, this is very similar to the beard I had. In my dream, my beard was my natural brown, but this pfp creator wouldn't let me change the facial hair color. (Low key love the look tho)

I do have a giant brown leather jacket that I wear constantly, he's scuffed and fucked up, I got him from a thrift store, but he has personality and I love him

I wear alot of horror t-shirts, mostly black with red accents, which is why the shirt is that color

Also, all of my shirts either have a wide neck or I've stretched the neck. I have ADHD and sensory issues and can not handle shit touching my throat. I WILL throw up (same with tags, I rip them off of everything I own/wear. I just can't)

The character creator wouldn't let me add piercings, but I have 3 facial piercings. My right eyebrow, septum, and tongue ring

I have a wider/boxier/chubbier face shape, with a soft jawline. I have convinced myself that that + my big forehead makes me look more masc

I like to joke that I have those soft masculine looks that girls are jealous of (male long lashes, boys soft kissable lips, guys with big butts, ect) just to help re-frame how I think about that stuff

I have a very broad back, I'm working out more to try and build muscle, but I'm happy for my wide back

I can go on but you get the point. Everything i try and reframe into being masculine. It can be difficult with dysphoria, but I continue to try!

Anyway, please message me! Put shit in my ask box! Comment! Add your own traits that you love! Please please please please please interact I WANNA SEE HOW YOU SEE YOURSELF

Also not my usual content BUT this fucking post took me in its jaws and shook me and would not let go until I created this.

I present to you, Fish Going Kitty Cat Mode:

I'll be very very honest this is nowhere close to my usual art style or how I usually draw, it just consumed me until I created it, sorry if it sucks but my page is my house and you have entered it of your own free will

rejoice. celebrations in the streets. I'm going kitty cat mode

Little update:

I have a new PFP, it's the closest approximation I can get to what I look like in real life (only exception being the beard, but i want it so canonically I have it)

So there you have it! If my moots have been wondering what I look like, now you know!

*Expanded image under the cut*

Hey! Just want to make an announcement that this blog IS safe for minors to interact!!!

I am but a baby adult! Just turned 20! I know that sounds old but I promise I'm still figuring it out too! I just stopped being a teenager! I know what it's like to be a child in and out of the closet!!!

Anyway, this comes from the fact that every other queer/trans blog has somewhere "Minors DNI!" BUT MY BLOG IS A SAFE SPACE FOR MINORS!!!

Ask me questions! Please! It's okay if you don't know how to word it or if you need help talking through it! Please interact with me do i can give good clean honest information to all my baby gays and eggs!

Also remember to, like, stay safe and stuff!

Trans story time!

I had a dream last night!

In my dream I was looking at my shitty little pre-t "lash-stach" in my bathroom mirror, kinda pushing my lip around and brushing it, wishing it would grow

And my fiancé poked her head around the corner to remind me to shave before our date. I turned my head to look at her, and told her I would

When I looked back in the mirror, I looked completely different, with a full beard, wider face, more "masculine" features

And I was stressed, looking through the drawers for a razor I could not find, i pulled out nail clippers and tweezers and eventually, I just put my hands on the counter and looked in the mirror at myself again

I ran my hand through my beard and judged weather i really needed to trim it or if it was acceptable for this date

And I remember pausing, and looking into my own big brown eyes, and thinking

"I knew it would get better one day"

Anyway

I woke up and went to rub my chin, and just felt this distant sadness as my hand met my smooth skin

But yeah. I feel like this is one of those dreams you hear about that just has this absolutely raw dialogue line

Anyway, how's your guys day going?

Trans tips #9!

Dont be embarrassed of yourself!

Somewhat story time, but it has a lesson, I promise!

I'm no longer sick! And I went out to dinner with some friends, my fiancé, and my younger sibling (NB) Whom knows about my transness

Well, we were at a Mexican restaurant when the manager walked up and was making conversation with the table. Eventually, he asked how we all knew eachother.

Now, some information about me, I still have long, blue hair that I am finally growing out after years of cutting it, and I'm pre-t. For the most part, not passing at all.

But my sibling introduced me as their brother

I felt super embarrassed

The manager asked "Brother? Who's your brother?"

Sibling points at me again, very casually, "yeah, so, my brother, his fiancé, (their) friends, ect..."

Manager starts pointing around the table, asking again "who is your brother?"

Sibling points to me again and very dismissively calls me their brother again

Now, overall, very proud of my sibling for sticking to their guns and not backing down

But in that moment I was so beyond embarrassed!

At the end I just wanted to tell them so let it go and let the manager call me their sister or something, anything to end the conversation, get me out of this mess, stop everyone from staring at me, I want a molcajete and a margarita at this point, thank you, yeah I'll pay let's just wrap this up please sibling shut UP

I was so annoyed with them

But, that was a few days ago, and I've since calmed down and I've been thinking about it all

I was the first in my family to ever come out. I've expressed my gender and sexuality differently for the last couple of years, and when my sibling came out as Nonbianary, I got them their first flag, and I walked them through coming out, and I showed them their options and their resources

And they received backlash

Because people (especially our family) weren't used to the idea of Nonbianary

My sibling considered de-transitioning

Going back to "normal"

Hiding in the closet

But I told them No! If someone doesn't refer to you by your chosen name, don't respond! I won't! I don't know who [deadname] is! I only know the name You told me! Fuck anyone who says otherwise!

Do you think I'm able to date and be engaged to the most wonderful and beautiful person in all of existence by hiding in the closet when people are mean to me? FUCK NO!

Stand up, say it with your chest, own it, and you'll be so much happier! So much more free!

They're just doing what I thought them to do

Dont be ashamed of who you are, and when you are ashamed, I won't be ashamed of you.

I can't hide in the closet, I am Valid

I may not pass, I am Valid

I may not be able to medically transition, I am Valid

I may like my hair longer, I am Valid

My voice isn't as deep as I want it to be, I am Valid

I am Valid, and You are Too

As long as you are safe to do so, don't be ashamed or afraid to come out;

And when you are, have someone else who can speak up for you!

Trans tips #8!

Modified (forced) voice training!

Get strep throat

Start to lose your voice

Realize you have to pitch your voice down to speak clearly and not in a whisper

That's it that's the whole post!

wiselittlequeer*

(Your trans tips made us smile. Thank you.)

THANK YOUUUUU!!!!

I try and post untraditional advice and tips that might help more then the usual "eat, sleep, take your meds, drink water" ect ect. So I'm glad to see people actually enjoying and interacting with my content!

Trans tips #7!

It's okay to experiment with your Gender and Sexuality!

It's okay to go through the full cycle to find what works best for you!

And now! A comprehensive list of all of my sexuality and gender changes from the start of my journey to now, to be used as an example:

Straight! Cis Woman! I had a boyfriend who cornered me at a school dance to ask me out! I didn't like him, but i had no spine so...we dated for a year without kissing or holding hands or anything...

Pan! Cis Woman! I met queer friends who introduced me to the concept of Gender and Sexuality! I still consider Pansexuality as absence of Gender in the criteria for dating...also broke up with that boyfriend

Bi! Cis Woman! I also considered Bisexuality to be some consideration of Gender in the criteria of dating

Lesbian! Cis Woman! I made alot of jokes about slowly excluding men or masc presenting people from the dating pool

Gay! Cis Woman? I started thinking about Gender Expression a bit more, Gay was a safe umbrella term for me to explore under

*this is when I met my fiance...we started dating the same night we met...(insert uhaul joke here)*

Gay! Non binary Woman? Started messing with they/them Pronouns, at the time it was something like She/They

Gay! Non binary! This was a short time frame where I felt an absence of femininity within myself, anything fem!presenting made me uncomfortable (makeup, clothing, ect)

Gay! Gender Fluid! I actually came out like this to my younger sibling first because I knew they could be trusted. Also made jokes about stealing everyone's Gender because alot of my friends started coming out at some form of NB...also I had bursts of hyper femininity followed by long bouts of masculinity...until I stopped feeling feminine for a year and was in full denial that it would come back (every time I looked at my feminine clothing in my closet I felt sick, this is when I knew what was coming)

Queer! Gender Fluid! Queer fit me better considering i was He/They/She/It dating a They/She (Side note I don't really go by it, I just live in the Bible belt where morons call me "it" to make me feel bad, if I include it at least they're still gendering me correctly)

Queer! Transgender! Me currently :) I've given all of my feminine clothing to my cousin in law, and with my fiances support I've been coming out to my family.

I know I am in a safe place to do so now that I have my own place with people I trust! I will make another post on coming out next! NOT THE POINT

POINT IS GENDER AND SEXUALITY CAN CHANGE AND YOU CAN EXPERIMENT UNTIL YOU FIND OUT WHATS RIGHT FOR YOU!!!

Also don't rush into decisions! Each of these transitions took months to a year before I figured it was right! This whole process took 7 years and I only just came out as Trans at the beginning of the new year 2025!

But take your time to get a feel for these things, it can take time to adjust and feel your feelings about certain things! You got this and I'm proud of you!

Trans tips #6

YOU DO NOT NEED TO INFANTISE YOURSELF TO BE MORE PALETABLE TO OTHERS

you don't need to infantile yourself

You don't need to be palatable

You don't need to conform to others views and opinions

You don't need to infantise yourself to be more palatable

You don't need to infantise yourself for others

You don't need to be palatable for others

This one is kind of a rant so whatever BUT

I SEE THIS SO OFTEN IT MAKES ME WANT TO GO FERAL

There was this great trans influencer on tiktok, he went by Mars, had all the surgeries, talked about his experiences, had a clothing brand, interacted with fans, allllll the good shit an influencer can do...right? RIGHT!!

I loved his, he's one of the first influencers that made me question my gender identity, made me do my own research and ask myself questions and start to realize that I, too, might be Trans

Fuckin love that guy! He's great!

But you know what's one thing that made me cringe away from him! HE INFANTISED HIMSELF SO MUCH

This goes for trans women and men, you don't need to make yourself look like a meek lil defenseless thing to be palatable to others! PLEASE

He called himself a boy ALL. THE. TIME even though he's a full ass man with a beard and body hair and age and wisdom he call himself a little boy!

He got the testosterone jelly but he called it his "boy goo" STOP IT

He stood slouched and pitched his voice up for the camera and tried to make himself sound and appear as meek and whimpy and vulnerable as he could! Just in the way he carried himself in his videos!! And it INFURIATES ME BEYOND BELIEF!!!!!!!

DONT INFANTISE YOURSELF

It's testosterone jelly, not "boy goo" even "man goo" or "man slime" if you still wanted a stupid lil name for it just ANYTHING BUT BOY GOO also that just sounds weird to begin with!!!

Your a MAN not a BOY unless you are the AGE of a BOY you are a MANNNN

Same with trans women!!!! You are not a GIRL you are a WOMAN unless you are the AGE of a GIRL you are a WOMANNNNNN

And I get it, you don't wanna be that big intimidating trans person coming in public restrooms like what the media says is evil and blah blah blah

But your fucking NOT

INFANTISING YOURSELF IS TRANS ERASURE

We are not meant to hide in the shadows or be in the back of the classroom or anything like that! Be proud about who you are! Square your shoulders! Chin up! Pick up your feet! Walk with confidence! PLEASE

End of rant but I just needed to get that out of my system

Also i have a rant about trans people sexualizing themselves but that's a different rant for another day!

HEY!!! Trans tips #5!

It's okay if it takes a while for you to transition!

Currently i have an appointment with a Gender Health Clinic set for July. This appointment is for me to be able to start Testosterone. Until then I can do nothing to medically transition.

But you know what? You don't have to medically transition as soon as possible! It's okay! This is the soonest available to me, until then I will be clearing out my wardrobe, coming out to more people, changing my appearance to better fit my style and my identity, and all of that is okay!

It's alright if you feel like your transitioning is in a stand still because you don't have the resources or means or time to transition, you're still valid

Never question if you're still valid just because it's taking you time to transition, you're valid no matter what!

It feels weird, for me, like being in some sort of trans limbo right now

But it's okay to feel uncomfortable! The days will pass and you will look different, and you'll be okay! I'm proud of you!

This is the first in a series or Trans Stories I'm Willing To Share With The Internet, but it's about the first times I started to figure out I might be Trans!

When i was a young child, we used to have these neighbors that lived down the street. I tried being friends with the youngest of their family, who was still a few years older than me.

One day, we were sitting in the Den (like a livingroom that's one step lower than the rest of the house)(also maybe reffered to as a man cave)(I don't care) and I turned to the boy and asked

"Hey, if you didn't know i was a girl, would you be able to tell?"

I had started noticing that i had more "masculine" facial features (thicker eyebrows, broad shoulders, square face shape, my dad's big nose/forehead, ect.) At the time I was a little self conscious about this, but that didn't help the pang of hurt I felt when it was confirmed that I still looked "feminine"

Of course, he said "obviously," and we moved on, but for "some reason", I was deeply disappointed by this

This is just one of many dozens of stories I have like this

When I was even younger, i tried walking around the house Shirtless. No traing bra, no shirt, no bathing suit, nothing! I hadn't gone through any puberty, but that didn't stop my Dad and Brother from yelling at me! My argument was that they walked around shirtless all the time, why couldn't I? It's hot, let me take off my shirt too!

Nope! No, no, no. My mom had to quickly explain there's a difference between boys and girls and that I can't be shirtless, even around my family...

When i was in middle school (early teenage years for non Americans) I would dress more masculinly to "scare off anyone looking at my baby sibling" because I wanted to be a protective older brother

When I hit highschool, during the pandemic, I started experimenting with my hair and my freedom of expression. I buzzed it off at the beginning of lockdown so I could dye cool patterns into it, and as it grew out I kept the sides shaved and grew a mowhawk, dyed red ofc. But I had to attend classes again, with red liberty spikes, a black face mask, and new confidence. People in the hallways called me the "mowhawk guy". I wasn't even thinking about my gender identity at the time, yet I always felt this bubble of giddiness every time I heard about the "mowhawk guy" from my friends.

Maybe I was being made fun of, who knows, it made me happy

I've been mistaken for a man from behind, especially when I had shorter haircuts, and any time I heard someone call out "sir!" When trying to get my attention! I would live off of that high for weeks, if not months!

I started going by He Pronouns almost 2 years ago, but i told myself I was Genderfluid. I kind of used this as a crutch, so I didn't have to correct anyone...but I always have a secret preference for Masc Pronouns.

I've always shopped in men's clothing, the loose shirts didn't have corny slogans on them, the shirts weren't cropped, the jeans didn't hug anything, I liked the styles of old band tees and flannels...

Anyway, those are the times that stick out in my mind as the first few times I experienced Gender Dysphoria and Euphoria! Thank you for reading my ramblings, and if you have any stories of your own, please reblog and share! I love hearing about others experiences!

Trans tips #4!

Reframing how you talk to/about yourself!

I talk to myself alot! Okay maybe not TO myself but I have a weird habit of narrating everything I am doing in my head to myself.

One thing I have to make a conscious effort to do is to use my preferred name in my head. Often I'll have my narration going on and I'll have to interrupt it to use my preferred name

Same goes for my Pronouns!

Example from today: "(Deadname) turned the ignition off, grabbing her keys and taking a deep breath before opening the door- no, wait, LI grabbed his keys, and reached for the handle of his door, ready to go to work..."

It's okay to make mistakes, and to have hiccups, it doesn't make you any less Trans!

Maybe I should stop taking to myself but I digress!!!

The other thing i do is i reword how I refer to myself, my body, my clothes, ect.

I started referring to my bras, which I use as binders, as harnesses. Idk why but this makes me feel much better about myself.

I don't own boxers as of right now as an obligatory Broke Collage Student BUT I stopped calling my undies Panties and call them Undies. I hated the word panties anyway so whatever! I also wear alot of loose horror t-shirts and cargo pants with docs (in case you wanna know how I dress for some reason!) So no renaming there!

Onto my body, right now I sit at a C cup, so no flat chest here, but I still call it my chest and my pecks, and I try to avoid saying Tits, Boobs, ect. They are my pecks and bitches be jealous of my big soft pecs!

Reframing how you refer to yourself can help a little bit with dysphoria! Remember that you got this and do what works for you, this is just what works for me!