Funny - Blog Posts
Izuku: i’ve already decided what I'm gonna do
Nezu: hmm?
Izuku: i’m gonna manipulate Shouta
I like to imagine that because Nemuri was really flirty, even when she was young, that once Shouta and Hizashi had gotten together Shouta turned to her like:
Like he pulls it from God knows where and this absolute baby of a man has single-handedly become the most adorable and terrifying thing Nemuri has ever experienced.
Shouta, talking about vigilante Izuku: “Has anybody here had any contact with him in the last five months?”
Katsuki, who has been exchanging rants about their favorite shows with him daily and is currenly typing a new one: “…No.”
Ochako: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything?
Midoriya: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital
Aizawa: That wasn’t an ambulance, I drove you.
Midoriya: but I heard a siren.
Tsu: That was Iida screaming.
Shouta: The past is gone, don’t live in it
Ghost Oboro: so are you having a mental break or has you frontal lobe finally developed?
Shouta: I'm surprised you're this calm in a fight.
Izuku: I'm having 6 mental breakdowns and they're pretty much cancelling each other out.
hey guys im back! it only took a failed relationship and falling in love with a guy who has to go back to german who "doesn't want to hold me back with a long distance relationship".
what did i miss?
Having a food allergy is so wild because what do you MEAN I can sense that there is peanut in this food when it doesn't say that on the menu? Oh it was cooked in peanut oil? Well I can still taste it and I will have a reaction if I keep eating it so-
Izuku: *at night in bed after being drugged up because of injuries* good night moon
Izuku: good night tree
Izuku: good night ghosts only i can see
Recovery girl, who was tucking him in: *shaking*
Aizawa, who was standing in the corner: well that's not concerning at all.
*Later*
Aizawa, still mumbling under his breath: ghosts? Oboro?
Yagi, walks around a corner:
Aizawa:*Scared grunt*
Aizawa: oh its just you. thought problem child was right about the ghosts for a minute.
Yagi: he is
Aizawa: what?
Yagi: what?
Your teachers wants you to succeed? Bro my teacher just wants me to survive the semester without being admitted to hospital again 😭
rip Denki Kaminari you would’ve loved watching tiktoks with a subway surfer video playing in the background.
My favourite part about working in hospitality is having to inform people that yes if it's in the title, it's in the meal.
Customer: does the tomato bruschetta have tomato in it?????
Me: 😀 no it doesnt- OF COURSE IT HAS FUCKING TOMATO IN IT. 🤗🥳🧍♂️🐬🌈
Masaru: Do you know where Katsuki is?
Mitsuki: Off somewhere. Disappointing God.
Shouta: Hey Kid can I get a sip of your water? Vigilante Izuku: It's not water. Vigilante Izuku: It's vinegar. Shouta: Wh-Wha- Vigilante Izuku: It's vinegar, COWARD.
*Shouta and Vigilante Izuku are doing something absurdly dangerous* Vigilante Izuku: I think Houdini did something like this once! Why, if I recall correctly, he was out of the hospital in no time! Shouta, deadpan: Well that's encouraging.
Vigilante Izuku: Am I in trouble? Shouta: Take a guess. Vigilante Izuku: No? Shouta: Take another guess.
I found out today that i am the exact height of 5 party size Doritos Bags.
Vigilante Izuku: *Stubs their toe* FUCK! Shouta: Mind your language! Vigilante Izuku: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”??? Shouta: Vigilante Izuku: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.
Shouta: You know, not every problem can be solved with a knife. Vigilante Izuku: That's why I carry two knives.
Vigilante Izuku: I learned some very valuable lessons from this. Shouta: I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away. Vigilante Izuku: Death isn’t real, and I’m basically God.
Shouta: What is your biggest weakness? Vigilante Izuku: I can be uncooperative. Tsukauchi: Okay, can you give us an example? Vigilante Izuku: No.
I feel like aizawa and class 1A would get life 360 because aizawa wants to know where they are in case of a villain attack but eventually it gets turned on him and he gets messages from everyone like "Mr aizawa can u get us maccas pls?"
id also like to imagine that izuku, being the nervous wreck he is, only has his location turned on for aizawa, bakugo, todoroki, and MAYBE Allmight.
*Shouta and Vigilante Izuku skipping stones on lake* Shouta: It’s such a beautiful evening. Vigilante Izuku, whispering: Take that you fucking lake
Shouta: Fitness tip: never stop pushing yourself. Some say 8 hours of sleep is enough. Why not keep going? Why not 9? Why not 10? Strive for greatness. Izuku: Next time you’re working out do 15 push ups instead of 10. Run 3 miles instead of 2. Eat a whole cake instead of just a slice. Burn your ex’s house down. You can do it. I believe in you. Nezu: There were so many mixed messages in that I can’t-
Izuku: Not trying to brag or anything, but I can wake up without an alarm clock now simply due to my crippling and overwhelming anxiety, so...
Katsuki: Fool me once, I’m gonna kill you
Izuku: Fool me twice, I'll kill myself.
Katsuki: wait, no-
Katsuki: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated. Izuku: Killed without hesitation. Katsuki: No.
Katsuki: It’s dark in here Izuku: Don’t worry dude I got this Izuku: *Stomps their feet* Izuku: *Skechers light up*
Iida: Midoriya... Izuku: Oh no, 'Midoriya' in b-flat. Izuku: You're disappointed.