Gairik&shefaali - Blog Posts

Unprotected

A while ago, someone who chose to remain anonymous, asked me a question on my Tumblr blog. I was asked, whether I feel the urge to indulge in sex without condoms and if yes, how I feel when the man attains his climax.

It is a very common phenomenon to experience the urge to let nature take over. If you observe nature, the way an intercourse was designed to conclude was with the man ejaculating his seeds inside the willing woman. This is the original and primal design. Anything else were the results of innovation and convenience created by the humans, or at least in my personal opinion.

I am not above nature. Once in a while, I have met men who have been able to instigate that primal desire in me where despite knowing fully the risks involved in having unprotected sex, I have gone ahead and submitted to nature. Such occurrences are rare and very few men have been able to light that fire in me, but yes it does happen. Not necessarily they were men who were known to me. There have been instances where the man involved was someone I was meeting for the first time in a most unplanned way. Maybe I was in the shopping mall (I will write about that someday) or at the bank (already written about it), or somewhere which was far removed from the agenda of having sex, and then out of nowhere a man appears who lights that fire in me and I feel the utmost desire to be with him in private and just let him do whatever he wanted to.

From my limited observation I have come to the conclusion that if all the men on Earth had only ONE SINGLE point on which they have a full consensus, it is about their universal hatred towards the innocent condom. These men who I met, are no exceptions and unless I urged him to use one, he wouldn't voluntarily want to. And like I mentioned, once in a while comes a man who lights that primal fire in me where I do not even feel like asking him to use a condom.

A condom, for me, is primarily a means of avoiding infections. Birth control is not the main agenda, I have safeguarded myself through other means to ensure that happening. What that means is that even when I am involved in an unprotected (well, protection of a condom to be precise) coitus, I am still safeguarding myself from unwanted pregnancy. Yes, the risk of infection is still there. Maybe I have been extremely privileged so far that I didn't fall a prey to them yet.

Coming to the second part of the question, of the feelings I experience when the man actually unloads himself, from a purely physiological perspective, nothing can be 'felt' inside when the jets shoot out. The difference is rather entirely psychological. The knowledge that a potent, virile man is engaged inside me and is depositing his very essence, the very core of him which can potentially (subject to other factors conducive to it) create a new life that will contain his characteristics, is an ecstasy for me.

Yes, I can know when a man is going to ejaculate a few moments before he actually does, because a man's body sends out distinct signals that it is about to release the precious seeds. Mostly it is through the increased speed of his thrusting, coupled with very deep guttural grunts, the tightened grip on me as if trying to stabilize a moving prey to be able to hunt it without failing, the increase in the force of the thrusts as if trying to make the last possible best efforts to deposit the seeds as much inside as possible to maximize the probability of his making me pregnant with his baby, pressing really down with his hips in each forward thrust, thus trying to push the opening on his erection reach as deep as possible, an almost imperceptible vibration that takes over the entire erection to ensure the seeds are 'flung' even further deeper, which can be felt by the woman who has learnt how to recognize them; so yes, it can be known a few moments before the actual ejaculation happens.

And once it is known, it makes me realize that this man is now in that intimate position where he can actually put a baby, a mini him, to grow inside me, that the man is making his best efforts to maximize the chances of impregnating me by releasing millions of his seeds deep inside me and that just ONE SINGLE of these seeds are sufficiently potent to actually create a new 'him' inside me, that this man is at this moment having only the single agenda of releasing his seeds, that right now my insides are flooded with the actual seeds of a man, that right now I am being one with nature, that even after he leaves and I put my saree back on and return home, I will still be carrying his essence with me, that knowledge is what drives me ecstatic.

I am not sure if I have been able to answer the question but submitting my two cents on the subject.

One ploy that worked to "sell" the idea to a "prospective" was for my bull to handover the phone to him and ask him to browse through the vacation photos while sneaking a few of the more revealing photos of me in various stages of dress (& undress) in between them that he'll come across as he slides the screens. The longer pauses on some of the photos and the facial expressions were enough to tell that he has come across those photos. And after taking the phone back while pretending to have not noticed anything, politely ask if he'd want to dine at our house this evening, or this weekend.

So far the invites have not been turned down.

Hi... Will u write my story in ur words.... I love reading ur articles

Hello Friend,

I apologize that I can write only of my own experiences. It is my memory which i dump into the pages. Hope you understand.

Hi Shefaali,

Thanks for sharing your stories here and as I saw others posting, I am glad you came back as well ;)

Your writing style is very engaging and I love reading your blogs and you are a very good writer (even if you just dump your thoughts :p).

And I just wanted to ask if you enjoy being the center of attention for multiple men together? :)

Hello,

I really do not know if I ever got to answer this ask. I am thankful to you for the kind words. There have been times (not very frequent though) when I was fortunate to be the centre of attention of more than just one man.

Your husband obviously bred you often but how did you feel when you felt your second husband fill you up for breeding his child..

We had to plan a lot for it because my husband stays abroad and if I conceived at the improper time, the facts of the matter would have been exposed very easily. Obviously, I couldn’t afford that. So while the decision by ‘us’ was made to make a baby together quite early on, we had to wait for the time to ‘make it happen’ to coincide with my husband’s visit here. It was a long wait, particularly when both of ‘us’ knew that we were ready to make it happen and still couldn’t because of practicalities.

‘We’ had been meeting very frequently and be very eager to pleasure each other every time we met. And yet, it would be frustrating at times, more for him than me, to be right there and still not be there. He was wonderfully patient still and I kept reassuring him that I would not change my mind by the time my husband returns.

Eventually when the time came and my husband’s travel to India was announced, I told ‘him’ to go ahead and do it. He was extremely passionate and I ensured that I met him as often as I could to ensure beyond doubt that it would be one of his seeds that I would grow and nurture inside me. During these visits he would go out of his way to provide pleasure to me and I kept praying that he would plant his seeds firmly each time. I felt the closest to him and he would hold me tightly while loving me; I felt like I would merge inside his big chest completely. It felt particularly satisfying during the moments when he would be releasing his seeds inside me and in my mind’s eye I could visualize the millions of those powerful seeds entering deeper and deeper inside me. I could sense the passion with which he would push himself as much inside me as possible to ensure not a drop is wasted, and I would try to position myself so that there is no spillage of the precious seeds for which I have been waiting this long. Knowing his very essence was entering inside me and I would be the custodian of his genes and the very man that he is, would make me feel euphoric. We would stay ‘joined’ for a short while even after he had put his seeds inside me to prevent any spillover. Once we would be rested and our bodies would have ‘un-joined’, we would caress and comfort each other a lot and reassure ourselves of the success of our union to bear the most desired fruit.

Gairik and I  (part 5)

Contd from part 4...

Gairik stepped out of the car. I heard the door shut with a gentle thud. The cold air swept inside the car from the brief moments that he had the door opened. Outside I could see the narrow lane with not many houses that have still been completed, mostly dark and silent. The neon of the pharmacy lighted up the adjacent area to an extent. Looking at the dark uninhabited houses my mind wandered (or may have raced) back to the earlier moments where Gairik touched me in the darkness. I kept playing back in my mind his coming closer to me, his warm breath on my face, his hands which were trying to pull me closer to him, my own eager self that wanted to be pulled closest to him. I jolted back to reality hearing the click of him opening the door from outside as he returned from the pharmacy. He held a small brown paper packet in his hand.

"Ato ghamcho kano? AC switch-on korbo?" (Why are you sweating so much? Shall I switch the AC on?), he asked as he got inside the car and closed the door. "seat belt ta khule boste parte to, bhalo lagto" (you could've unlocked the seat belt while you waited, would've felt better).

I realized I actually was sweating. Despite the cold outside, I was surprised to find my brows and face had sweat on them, so were my palms. A sensation of heat was emanating from within me, almost making me feel that only if I explode, will I get some peace. I quickly reached for a napkin from the box kept on the dashboard. I wiped myself and muttered, "na na, nothing wrong, I am fine".

I am fine? I am fine? No, I am not fine. I have not been 'fine' ever since I knew Gairik loves me, ever since he touched and held me closely against him for those brief moments. My mind screamed, "pull me close again", while my face just smiled at him. Gairik handed me the packet and said, "please eta bag-er modye rekhe dao" (please keep it inside your bag). I extended my hand to receive the packet, and kept it inside my handbag.

"Gairik?" "Yes Shefaali?", he answered while locking his seat-belt and starting the car. "Amra bari kokhon pouchobo?" (how long before we reach home?)

I think I saw Gairik smile. He said, "Arekta jaigay jete hobe amader, tarporei amra bari pouchobo, khub taratari, promise" (we must visit one more place and then we 'll reach home, very soon, promise).

He reached out and held my sweaty palm in his and drove on. I clasped my fingers over his palm. A short drive in silence brought us to a stationery shop. "Come with me, I need your help here", he said. We got off the car and went inside the store.

A nice and cheerful store it was. Gairik seemed to search for something along the aisles. Finally he reached a section and stopped. "Pradiptaa loves to paint, doesn't she", he asked. Pradiptaa is my daughter's name.

"Yes, she loves and can spend hours doing it". "Great, so does Durba. This will keep them occupied". "Pradiptaa is very fond of drawing and painting and it is difficult to divert her once she is engrosses in her activity. She would participate in all the sit & draw competitions in school. She is...", and I suddenly stopped. The full implication of 'keeping them occupied' and diverted sunk in. I blushed upon my late realization and I think Gairik saw my face turn red, and smiled.

"You are a beautiful and wonderful mom, Durba keeps telling me how much Pradiptaa talks of you in school", he said. He picked up two sets of drawing and colouring books, pastels and crayons.

"Gairik, these are very expensive, you do not have to get such expensive gifts for them". "Shefaali, I will be borrowing her very precious mother from her to be with me. These mean nothing in return", he replied with a smile. We walked to the cashier and he cleared the dues.

As we stepped out of the warm store, the cold winds hit us. Instinctively I drew myself closer to him. We walked back to the car.

to be continued...

Gairik & I (1st & 2nd part)

Let's call him Gairik.

I had recently started working. I had not worked before and had to take it up under duress. I possessed neither the experience nor degrees to get a high profile job. The dialogues I used here are just indicative and not an exact reproduction of reality. For those who have read my previous posts would know that my husband is deputed abroad and I am here with my children who have just started school. The school operates a bus service that picks and drops the children home. On the rare occasion when the bus service fails, the parents need to go over to collect their wards from the school.

My younger daughter's best friend in school is a nice girl and I know that the two friends genuinely care for each other. My daughter's friend, who, for the sake of this narrative we shall address as Durba (not her real name) does well in her studies and has exceptional behaviour (as opposed to mine, who at one time walked-in on us one night while we were engaged in a coitus...I believe I have written about that before). Durba lives with her father, who is separated from her mother. I could not but appreciate the wonderful upbringing that her father was undertaking. I would meet him (his name starts with G, for the sake of this narration let's call him Gairik) occasionally during the school parent-teacher meets. With the passage of time I had built a nice friendship with Gairik and I knew that he liked me quite a bit. He would often go out of his way to make things easier for me and to drop my daughter home from his house after she and Durba has spent the evening together. I liked G as a parent, and also as a man, and had often wondered what circumstances led to the separation of such a complete man from his wife. Subconsciously, at times I actually used to be on the lookout for him on the evenings when he would come to drop my daughter home, but never expressed it to him because I thought it would constitute behaviour "inappropriate" for a married woman. Sometimes on my request he would stay back a while at my house for a short chit-chat before returning home. He often made very polite requests for us to go somewhere for a cup of coffee; and just so that I didn’t feel uncomfortable he would mention that we can bring our kids along, almost as a guarantor that the parents won't do anything naughty. The wishful request was never fulfilled despite both of us wanting to. Despite the infrequent meets, our friendship grew still and we addressed each other informally enough and banter over phone-calls in the evenings, almost always ending with a promise to 'get-together sometime soon'.

It was one of those days at work, when there was a high-importance agenda meeting to take place in my office, and things were pretty going all topsy-turvy in the preparations therefor, that the school authorities called me. The conversation was on the following lines.

"Mrs. Shefaali, we regret to inform you that the bus service on your route has broken down and you need to come over to collect your daughter". "Oh! But I am about to get into a meeting in another fifteen minutes". "We are really sorry but you need to come over and collect your ward. Or else you need to have someone else collect her from the school". "But I don't have anyone else at home who could come over now". "We understand your inconvenience, but this is an emergency situation. Please reach before xx:xx because the school authorities will not be in office after that. Thank you for your cooperation". And the line was disconnected.

For the next few moments I broke into a cold sweat, unable to figure out how to manage both the sides. My phone rang again and I answered it even without checking who the caller was.

"Shefaali, Gairik bolchi" (This is Gairik calling). "Han Gairik, balo" (Yeah, tell me). "Shono, the school called and ..." (Listen...). "Han jani, ki korbo bujhte parchi na, ekhane bhishon important ekta meeting suru hote choleche" (I know, I cant figure out what to do, I have a very important meeting starting in a few min from now). "Shefaali, kono chinta koro na, ami Durba-ke ante jacchi, Prodiptaa (my daughter, not her real name) keo niye aschi. Ora dui bondhu amar kachei thakuk. Tumi nischinte office-er kaaj sesh kore amake call koro, ami eshe tomake office theke pick up kore nebo" (don't worry. I will collect your daughter along with mine and the two friends can stay together at my place. Call me once your work is over and I will come over to collect you from your office). 'Oh Gairik, eta koto boro help tumi nijeo jano na" (Gairik, this is a very big help from you). "Charo to osob formality, jao kaaj koro, edikta ami samle nicchi" (don't be so formal, go and complete your work, I will manage this side).

The meeting went long and still showed no signs of conclusion. When I asked my boss for the permission he was most reluctant to let me go, but the situation was such that he couldn’t refuse. But it came with a warning that this is the first and the last time he is letting me go when there is a VIP client in the meeting.

I called Gairik.

"Gairik?" "Haan Shefaali, bolo? Meeting sesh hoyeche?" (Tell me Shefaali, is your meeting over?) "Haan, I mean sesh hoyni, kintu allow koreche phirte ajker moton" (the meeting isnt over but I have been exempted and allowed to return for today). "Darun khobor. Tumi okhanei thako. Ami aschi tomake pick up korte" (excellent news. Be there and I am coming over to pick you up). "Ami cab niye chole aste pari, tumi keno unneccesarily asbe? tai asbo?" (I can hail a cab and come over. Why do you want to take unneccesary trouble. Should I?) "Shefaali, office theke ek pa-o berobe na. Okhanei darao, ami ekkhooni aschi" (don't take a single step out of the office. I will be right there). "Accha baba. Esho." (Ok, ok. Come), I said, as I smiled and hung up the phone. I don't know what made me smile. Was it because I don't have to take the trouble of getting a transport back home? Was it because my daughter is safe and cared for? or was it because I would get to meet Gairik, just me and him in the car?

to be continued...