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What We Lost Along the Way

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Sabine stared up at the endless expanse of galaxies around her, watching as two little suns’ rays peeked their way over the horizon, honey interrupting the amethyst twinkling of stars above. This planet, for all of its dangers, was beautiful, that much was true. The hues above blended seamlessly, and all Sabine could do was stare in awe and silence up at the universe around them, a still wonder about the teeming nature of life filling the background of their mind.

Mud that had crusted over into dirt specked the underside of her boots, and they picked it away aimlessly. Their mind was somewhere else this sunsrise. Again, she nodded to herself in pensive silence. 

Don’t worry, Ezra. I haven’t forgotten you. 

And, it was as true as the air rushing through their lungs. Months had gone by since he had passed away, but they knew, somewhere inside, that he was watching over them even now. With that dopey grin and a quip on his tongue, he was there. It was a dull ache, a constant hum in their bones, that had kept her from giving up amid the stressors of war (like so many others had done before her). A heaviness pulled at their heart, a biting doubt that if only she had been a little faster— or had they been more communicative—

But it was no good to blame themself. Ezra was lost, and then he was found. And then he was lost again, but this time, with more permanence. It wasn’t her fault. Or, at least, that’s what their family had said. It’s not your fault. If only they could believe that.

So, they waited. They waited, and wondered if she should contact old friends for the first time in weeks. Those friends were not lost to time and space, just at a different point within it, after all. It had been lonely the last few weeks, chasing a lead of information that turned out, after all, to be nothing. Maybe it was time for them to reach out again, to return to community again. It was a task for another day (Sabine had stayed up all night repairing the speeder bike she borrowed and the weariness had finally caught up to them), but one that should come to pass nonetheless.

Sabine let their eyelids, heavy with the weight of all they still had to accomplish, flutter shut. Before passing into dreams, they remembered the way his crooked smile twisted up at the corner of his mouth. Sabine let themself grin, too. 

I will never forget you, vod’ika.

(Image Description under the cut)

(Image Description: A mountain range in the distance, enveloped in shadow. It is sunrise, and the sun’s orange rays blend into a sky of deep purple. Constellations of stars dot the sky en masse. A shooting star burns through the center of the image as a single, thin, white streak.)