Gandalf - Blog Posts
gandalf being done with pippin is so real except i feel like i'm the pippin in most situations
Rings of Power meme dump part 11!!
Edit: Oops meant to schedule this one. I guess there's two today lol. Also I can't count.
Lord of the rings or a night out with friends
Going for a walk
Meeting some friends and hang out
Having a fight
Realizes some of the gang is missing
Can’t chase everyone at once so go to find the people that are more likely to be in trouble
Searching for them all over the place, worried they left with a bad crowd
Find them up a tree
Friends you weren’t looking for are now in someone else’s house. And also one of them got bitten by a spider apparently
Imagine if you knew of a population of semi-wild hamsters that live communally near to where you live. They don't run for their lives and bolt into their nests for safety when they see you, they'll just kind of go "aw fuck there's that guy again" and just kind of lazily trot off - they know you're not really a predator, just an inconvenience. But some of them don't flee from you, they're a bit weird you guess, but those are your favourites. So every once in a while when you've got a task you really don't want to do alone, you can just walk up there, grab a hamster, pop it into your breast pocket and now you've got a little emotional support buddy for the day.
That's Gandalf's relationship with the hobbits.
i have very little interest in ever smoking marijuana, but if I ever do I'm doing it while watching the fellowship of the ring bc smoking weed with my dude Gandalf would be fucking sick
some quick lotr studies :]
prints
Bilbo, on the trip of his life: holy shit Gandalf this is great
Bilbo the moment Gandalf suggests going on a journey: what the fuck why would you do this. How could you
nah you‘re right :)
am i wrong
Lord of the Rings Observations
So I have been watching the Lord of the Rings movies a lot lately and it so obvious that Gandalf is actually a pretty sub par wizard with very limited skill who seems to have some anger management issues due to what is most likely his own insecurities.
If you find yourself in times of trouble, ask yourself, ‘what would Gandalf do’, and remember, ‘beat a man unconscious with a big stick’ is a valid answer
I can't breathe 🤣🤣
This is perfection 👌
When I tell you I snorted!
A Modern Hobbit AU,
Except the Company is a band with Thorin as the lead Guitarist/singer and founder of the band. Gandalf is their Manager.
The plot is that they need a lead singer for the tour they’re about to go on, and Gandalf remembers his old friends son who had an amazing voice.
He shows up with the band at Bilbos house, they throw a rave and convince him to go on tour with them. They don’t believe that he’s as good of a singer as Gandalf says until they actually hear him sing.
Thorin doesn’t think he fits in with their aesthetic, but then accidentally falls in love with Bilbo.
If nobody draws this then I’m gonna lose it, im going to do it myself, but I hope to see someone else’s interpretation.
It always gets me that the name "Gandalf" literally just means "Wand-Elf" or "Stick-Elf". I'm imagining old Gondorians just being like:
Librarian: I saw that weird guy at the library again today.
Guard 1: What weird guy?
Librarian: The old guy with the beard? Kinda elfy-looking, apart from the beard?
Guard 1: Oh, with the big-ass stick?
Librarian: Yeah, looked like he was carrying an entire tree branch.
Guard 2: Yeah, that's the Stick Elf.
Guard 1: Hell yeah, I fuckin' love the Stick Elf.
Librarian: The "Stick Elf"?
Guard 2: He comes by every few years, usually after some weird book or other.
Librarian: Oh. Yeah, he wanted a treatise on goblin breeding habits.
Guard 2: Like, how they have sex? We have books on that?
Librarian: Yeah, turns out we do. I was as surprised as you are.
Guard 1: What'd the Stick Elf need a fuckin' goblin-fuckin' book for?
Librarian: I didn't ask. So you just call him "Stick Elf"?
Guard 2: I mean, he looks kinda elfy and he always has that stick, so, like, yeah.
Guard 1: Dude also has some fuckin' dope pipeweed.
Guard 2: Oh yeah, his pipeweed is awesome.
Librarian: How long has he been coming here?
Guard 2: Oh, for decades. He's, like, super old.
Guard 1: More like fuckin' centuries. Dude's old as balls.
Guard 2: Wait, really?
Guard 1: Yeah, my gran-gran used to talk about him. She loved his pipeweed too.
Librarian: So he's… an immortal pipeweed dealer?
Guard 2: I think he's just, like, a connoisseur. He doesn't sell it or anything. He just always has some really top-notch pipeweed on him.
Archivist: Oh, are we talking about Stick Elf?
Guard 1: Hell yeah we are!
Librarian: You know about the Stick Elf, too?
Archivist: Oh, totally. Stick-Elf's a super chill dude. Gave me some awesome pipeweed when I was maybe 12, and tee-bee-aitch I think I'm still a little buzzed from it.
Guard 1: What'd I tell ya, fuckin' dope pipeweed!
Archivist: Also he's really old.
Guard 1: Old as balls.
Librarian: Yeah, so Éodan and Jenniforomir were telling me.
Archivist: My grandpa used to tell me stories - he said one time he saw Stick Elf enter a smoke-ring contest.
Guard 1: Ooh, I'll bet he kicked fuckin' ass.
Archivist: Apparently the guy made an entire warship out of smoke and it flew around shooting down the other rings.
Librarian: And how much of this "fuckin' dope" pipeweed had your grandfather had by this point?
Guard 1: No no, that's totally plausible. Dude's got weird elf powers and shit for sure.
Archivist: He brought fireworks for the king's birthday one year, too.
Guard 1: Oh fuck, I forgot about those! Fuckin' incredible fireworks! Dragons and knights and glowy trees and shit! I was fuckin' 6 years old or something, they totally blew my mind. Hey Éodan, did you see that shit?
Guard 2: No, I think that's before I lived in Gondor.
Guard 1: Wait, you're not from here?
Guard 2: Oh, no, I grew up in Rohan. We moved here when I was, like, thirteen because my uncle Éojeff said he could get my dad a sweet job. And also that there were houses that didn't smell like horseshit.
Guard 1: Oh shit, are you related to Éojeff and Éosteve who run that æbleskiver stand on Norndîl St?
Guard 2: Yeah, they're my uncles!
Guard 1: Shit, they cook a fuckin' great æbleskiver!
Librarian: Ok, hold up a sec, "Stick Elf" can't possibly be his real name.
Guard 1: Why not?
Librarian: What? You think his parents named him in the hopes that he would carry around a fucking tree when he got older?
Guard 2: Maybe they gave him the tree when he was born!
Archivist: I don't think a baby could carry that stick.
Guard 1: You ever seen a baby hanging onto something? They're hella strong.
Archivist: It's not a strength thing, their hands are tiny. That staff is enormous!
Guard 1: My halberd's bigger 'n I am, I can hold it just fine.
Archivist: You're not a baby.
Librarian: Also why would elf parents name their kid "stick ELF"?! Presumably they know that their kid's going to be an elf!
Archivist: Is he actually an elf? I didn't think they grew beards.
Guard 1: How'd he get old as balls if he's not an elf?
Guard 2: His ears aren't that pointy. Maybe he's just a really old guy? Like, a Numémoriam or something?
Guard 1: Did you just say "Numémoriam"?
Guard 2: Nûnenorman? Munimõrbitan? Y'know, those guys like the king that can get super old.
Guard 1: You mean the fuckin' Númenóreans?
Guard 2: Yeah, the Númenóreums.
Archivist: Even the Númenóreans don't live THAT long.
Guard 1: Plus he carries that fuckin' stick around.
Guard 2: Wait, what does the stick have to do with it?
Guard 1: That's an elf thing. Y'know, trees and shit? Very elfy.
Librarian: Ok, look, but his parents naming him "Stick Elf" would be weird whether or not he's an elf. In fact, it's even weirder if he's not - what human names their kid "elf"?
Archivist: Huh. Yeah, you're right, he probably does have another name.
Guard 2: Yeah, I guess so.
Librarian: He's been coming here for decades and nobody's ever asked his real name?
Archivist: I dunno what to tell you, he's Stick Elf. Even his library card just says 'Stick Elf'.
Guard 1: Fuck yeah, the Stick Elf!
Guard 2: Maybe we could, like, ask him his name sometime?
Guard 1: Hey, look, Elrond's over there. He's old as balls too, maybe he knows?
Guard 2: Oh, we shouldn't interru-
Guard 1: HEY ELROND, YOU'RE OLD AS BALLS, RIGHT? WHAT'S THAT OLD ELF WITH THE STICK'S NAME?
Elrond (coming over): Do you mean an old man cloaked all in grey and blue, leaning on a rough-cut staff, who came to the great library this day?
Guard 1: Yeah, the Stick-Elf!
Guard 2: (Sorry to bother you, sir...)
Librarian: He's got to have a real name besides 'the Stick Elf', right?
Elrond: Indeed, for no elf is he. You speak of the wizard Olórin, wisest of the Maiar, older even than Eä itself. Many are his names in many countries: Tharkûn among the Dwarves; Incánus to the south; Mithrandir he is called among my people, the Grey Pilgrim.
Librarian: Oh.
Elrond: And here in the North he is called Stick-Elf.
Librarian: Oh.
Guard 1: Fuck yeah!
I feel like Gandalf also knows that the hobbits think they are being hostile and, in addition to a nice safe challenge, he comes back to pis them off.
we make fun of thorin getting lost in the shire but you know the nazgul also had to keep asking for directions to find bag end so maybe hobbits’ city planning is just wack
Gandalf was even kind of an outsider in Valinor. To the extent that the other Maiar noticed him at all, it was just “The weird one who’s always hanging out with Lady Nienna”.
He was, wasn't he. Glad he found a family with the fellowship.
(Sorry this took so long)
Lets talk about the Fellowship for a second. They’re all kinda outcasts, all very different from the rest of their races or family. Lets dig a little deeper into each one, looking at both their movie and book selves.
Frodo: Frodo’s an orphan, his parents drown and he went to live with Bilbo. Bilbo was already thought of as weirdo by the other hobbits because of his adventure, so Frodo, they thought, must be just as odd. Also movie Frodo is much to thin to be considered pretty by hobbit standers and both Frodos are a bit to adventurous.
Sam: Not much to say here, as Sam is an exemplary hobbit. His looks are hobbity enough and he enjoys gardening. The two things that set him apart are, his desire to meet the elves, and, of course, his association with the Baggins.
Merry: Merry is a Brandybuck, which are not all that respectable to the hobbits of Hobbiton, they go out in boats after all. Also he and Pippin definitely are a bit adventurous for hobbits.
Pippin: Pippin is very curious, and curiosity leads to adventure. He is a Took, an outcast from the hobbits of Hobbiton. Like I said befor, he and Merry are definitely a bit adventurous for hobbits.
Aragorn: Aragron is a ranger, lives on the outskirts of civilization. As we see in Bree, people are a bit afraid of him, he’s just too odd, too different. Aragorn also lived in Rivendell, but he was a man among elves, also too different. He’s too human for the elves, yet to elven for the humans.
Legolas: Legolas is the prince of Mirkwood. His father is Thranduil, who, after the death of his wife, turns cold and distant. Legolas also associates himself with humans, unlike the other Mirkwood elves.
Gimli: Gimli is entirely respectable before the quest. I can’t really think of any thing to say about him. (edit: Milkywhoreos is corenct, Gimli is to diplomatic and poetic.)
Boromir: Boromir is respected and loved by Gondor, but his family life? He probably had to raise his brother and loves him more than anything, but his father is a big jerk.
Gandalf: Do I even have to say anything here? Gandalf is completely bonkers (But, like, in a good way.)
So, in conclusion? Each member of the Fellowship was practically alone before they found each other. They had small, broken or non-existing families, and/or were un-liked by others. Then they found these other alone people, and said “I didn’t really have anyone, and they all didn’t ether. But now we got each other, and I don’t care if you’re an elf, or a dwarf, or a hobbit,or a wizard,or a human, we’re now family.” They didn’t have family, so they found one.
I love how as a society we have all agreed that if a character dies and comes back to life they’re hair is gonna turn white :)
Examples
Jason Todd (DC Batman)
Danny Phantom
Wilbur and Tommy (Dream Smp)
Shiro (Voltron)
Geralt (Witcher .... I dunno probably??)
Yue (Avatar the last Airbender )
Gandalf ( Lord of the rings - literally goes from grey to white )
Jack Frost (Rise of the Guardians)
Darth Vader (pre 2004 goes from bald to white hair “Force Ghost”)
I’m probably missing some...... hhhmmmm
lord of the rings if it slayed
Gwaihir uses the ring's invisibility and just becomes the wind, putting Manwë out of a job. Then, of course, Manwë would be furious at Mithrandir for giving the ring to the eagles and fires him.
I know that the nitpicking over why the Fellowship didn’t just ride the eagles to fly directly to Mordor has been talked to death, there’s more than enough answers. The Doylist answer is that would stop the whole book from existing, or replace it with a wholly different book all about eagles. The Watsonian answer is that a) the eagles are a noble independent people not a taxi service, b) the quest is a stealth mission and huge massive giant eagles are not stealthy, c) Mordor has air supremacy and the eagles could only fly to Mount Doom after Sauron was defeated and the Nazguls all gone.
But just now, option d) occurred to me: do we really trust the eagles to withstand the ring? If it tempts Gandalf and Galadriel, surely it tempts Gwaihir the Windlord. Do we want to create the Dread Lord of the Skies? He would wear the Ring on his lovely sharp claw! He would fly higher and swifter than the winds of the world! He would build a magnificent nest from the broken timbers of Edoras! He would eat so many people! All elves and men would be forced underground!
who i would let borrow my car in lord of the rings:
boromir- would likely take it to a car wash and fill up the tank for me afterwards. no questions asked and the keys are in his hand before he finishes his sentence.
gimli- would change my tires for me. a bit worried about him off roading but he’d take care of it. it’s extremely likely that he also took it through the car wash but not out of politeness but because he got it caked with dirt and mud while driving.
elrond- i’m willing to bet my life on this man being a reliable driver. he could get negative traffic tickets- as in, the cops pull him over just to tell him how good of a three point turn that was. this man is married to the turn signals.
sam- there might be dirt and dog hair left over for weeks but yeah i’d trust him. he probably just needs the trunk space for a dresser he found on the side of the road.
who in lord of the rings i do not trust with my car:
gollum- yeah obviously he’d drive it into the swamp in .2 seconds. this little fucker does not follow road laws or any laws. the second gollum takes my car i know its over.
gandalf- i do not know how one sends an automotive on a quest but im pretty sure my car is in moria rn and i’m never seeing it again
legolas- has the biggest passenger princess energy i’ve ever seen. would total my car immediately after going diagonal across the highway because he saw a cool tree
thranduil- like father like son. passenger princess who has not been behind the wheel for decades. would guilt trip me into giving him a ride before even asking to borrow my car. gets pulled over for having a whole ass wine bottle in the cupholder.
pippin- there would be peanut butter stuck in the console for months and i’d be finding loose snacks and trinkets in my seats years afterwards. also strikes me as the type to be obsessed with the radio to the point of reckless driving
I KNOW RIGHT???? he's so amazing in books comparatively
you get it ^^^^^
forever mad that legolas in pj's trilogies was watered down to basic stereotypical mysterious stoic slightly confused brooding blonde elf instead of the whimsical quippy silly guy we see in the books who jokes about grabbing the sun from the sky to warm his mortal friends and screams when he sees a balrog :/
Gandalf The Grey