Ganger!doctor X Reader - Blog Posts

I’m Not Him 

Ganger!Doctor x Reader

Summary - You liked The Doctor, but he didn’t feel the same way about you. What will happen when you meet his Ganger again?

Based On This Request -

Warnings - references to character death, sadness

Word Count - 1772

A/n - Gender Neutral Reader. I posted this request over on my old Tumblr account and I just wanted to repost it on here.

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You walked, curiously and trepidatiously, around the halls and corners of The TARDIS. For the past couple of days, you heard The Doctor rummaging around the ship, and you finally decided to investigate. He would do stuff like this often, rummaging and making tons of noise, but not for this long of a time. He was definitely up to something.

The Doctor had avoided everyone since the events of Demon’s Run and it was beginning to scare you, more than the fact that he was secretly planning something behind your back. You had heard stories from Madame Vastra and River that The Doctor had a history of shutting down after extremely eye-opening or sorrowful events, but you had never seen him act like this yourself. You didn’t know how to react to him acting like this.

You had been left behind at Demon’s Run along with Amy, Rory, and River, and River eventually took all of you home with her vortex manipulator. Soon after you were getting used to being at home, though, The Doctor showed up at your doorstep. He said that it had been a while since he had seen you and he was excited for you to see what he had planned. You were excited, too, at the moment, but now you were just scared. 

The Doctor Had not picked up Amy and Rory yet, but River invited herself into the TARDIS constantly. She added to The Doctor’s rummaging and whispering around the ship. You wondered what they were doing, but then you figured that you might not want to know. 

However, one thought continued to plague your mind, and that was why The Doctor brought you back onto The TARDIS in the first place, especially without Amy and Rory. You had joined the couple after The Doctor ran into you on one of his private adventures that he would go on when he couldn’t sleep and stayed ever since. Your life on The TARDIS was much more exciting than your life on Earth and you didn’t want to stay on that planet any longer. But everything that led up to today was making you worried that your time exploring the Universe was ending.

The Doctor randomly jumped out from a corridor with his spacey wacey goggles hanging around his neck. You jumped and shrieked from the shock while The Doctor profusely apologised. He placed both of his hands on your shoulders and squeezed them reassuringly.

“Y/n, I have something very exciting to show you!” You barely mumbled a still shocked “okay” before The Doctor quickly grabbed your hand and lead you towards a room you had never seen before. It was dark, with only a couple of dim, orangy-yellowy lights glowing on the walls, making the whole situation stranger. You could see through the dim lighting that there was a mechanised tub similar to the machine you saw at Saint John's Base. You remembered that trip well, it was shocking and emotional, but you could not put the pieces The Doctor was feeding you together. 

“Doctor, I don’t understand. What is all of this?”

“What does it look like? I’m fulfilling my promise and proving my theory correct.” The Doctor moved to fiddle with a few wires and tubes, making sure that they were all set.

“Your Ganger?” You questioned The Doctor, still confused.

“John Smith, yes!” The alien before you briefly stopped what he was doing to exclaim what he thought was obvious. Before getting back to checking to see if everything was in order.

“You’re bringing him back? Why?” The Doctor finally stopped fiddling with the machine to look at you confused.

“For you, of course!” You questioned what he meant by that. 

“I saw how the two of you became very close that day. I thought that I might bring him back for you.” The Doctor looked slightly sad, and you didn’t know why. 

“I thought he was you back then.” You weren’t lying, but you did like The Doctor’s Ganger, he seemed to care about you more than The Doctor, who seemed to only have eyes for Amy and River.

“After you found out, the two of you still became very close. I just don’t like you being alone, Y/n.” You were shocked by The Doctor’s reveal and didn’t know what to say to all of this information. You were going to tell The Doctor to wait, give you time to think if this is actually what you wanted, but he already started the machine. 

The tub filled itself with a formula, and then the liquid moulded and formed into The Doctor’s Ganger. Both of you and The Doctor watched curiously as all of this was happening. Suddenly, The Ganger!Doctor’s eyes popped open, and he screamed loudly in pain. He curled into a fetal position while clutching his head. The Doctor went to check if everything was okay on the scans and computers in the corner monitoring everything. 

You joined The Doctor to watch the computers as well, but then out of the corner of your eye, you saw The Ganger!Doctor jumping up out of the tub. He seemed perfectly fine despite the pain he was in a moment ago.

“Ah! I’m back!” He stated cheerfully, adjusting his red bowtie.

Your mouth fell open in shock after looking at The Ganger!Doctor in the eye. You didn’t know what to do or say. Your breath began to quicken, and your head started to hurt. So, you quickly turned to walk back to your room. 

You were so confused. A jumble of emotions ran through your head, and you couldn’t really focus on any of them for a long time. You liked The Doctor, you had for a long time, but you never let yourself love him. You were well aware of The Doctor’s relationship with River, and you were happy for them both, but it did sting your heart a bit because you had no one. The Doctor and River had each other and Amy and Rory had each other, and you wanted someone, too. Now The Doctor was giving you his Ganger. The possibility of not being alone was right before you, but you couldn’t help but run away.

It was true, you did like the Ganger!Doctor when you first met him. But it felt as if you were being pawned off by The Doctor. You were now angry. You couldn’t help but feel like this “gift” was bittersweet because even though The Doctor was being kind, he would never understand why it hurt. And you felt so sad for The Ganger!Doctor. He never did anything wrong and kept getting hurt in the process. You didn’t really know what feeling to prioritise and you just needed to be alone.

After spending a couple of hours doing everything but thinking about what just happened, you finally accepted that The Ganger!Doctor was back, and he was here for you. You were grateful that The Doctor thought of you, despite the questionable act. And you really did want to get to know The Ganger!Doctor on a personal level and outside of an adventure. You considered going out and trying to talk to the Ganger!Doctor, but a sudden knock on your door drew you out of your thoughts. You spoke a quiet “come in” and readjusted the work you were doing off of your lap.

“Hello …” It was the Ganger!Doctor, lingering in the doorway. Normally you probably wouldn’t be able to tell, but he was wearing the same thing he was wearing before, and you didn’t think that The Doctor would clean all of The TARDIS grease off of his clothes and face that quickly.

“Hello,” You responded bittersweetly.

“Hello …” The Ganger!Doctor repeated himself, and you could tell that he cursed himself in his head because of the disgruntled face he made.

“May I come in?” You nodded and motioned for him to join you on the floor where you were sitting. You would always sit on the floor when you needed to think hard about something. The two of you sat there for a long time in silence. There was a weird tension that you couldn’t really describe. But the pair of you continued to catch each other's eyes and then quickly look away. The Ganger!Doctor began patting his knees with his hands anxiously.

“I’m not really him, you know.” The Ganger!Doctor suddenly spoke up quietly, with his voice tinted with sadness.

“What do you mean?” You finally looked into The Ganger!Doctor’s eyes for longer than a couple of seconds.

“I have all of The Doctor’s memories and I obviously look like him, but I’m my own person with my own thoughts and opinions. I don’t see you the same way he does.” You could see how sad he was and how much he just wanted to be seen as himself.

“I’m sorry for assuming that you were, especially after the events of Saint John’s Base. I guess it was just the shock of everything.” The Ganger!Doctor nodded at your statement, but you could see how solemn he still was.

“I’ll try to be better.” You tried to smile, but it was still bittersweet. So, you reached out to hold The Ganger!Doctor’s hand. He squeezed your hand tightly as if he was shocked that you were actually touching him and worried that you would let go too soon.

“I don’t want you to be better, I just want you to be yourself.” You nodded in understanding and both of you fell back into silence, but you continued to hold each other's hands.

“What do you want to be called?” You asked suddenly. The Ganger!Doctor quirked his head to the side in thought and fiddled with his bowtie with his free hand.

“John Smith is a decent name, at least until I come up with a more unique name. Does John Smith sound like a good name to be paired with a Stetson?”

“Yeah, I think it does!” You laughed at his cute question and genuinely smiled at the now John Smith.

“I’ll stick with John Smith then!” He smiled back at you widely causing you to giggle. You really did like seeing him smile so happily. 

Far into the night, the pair of you continued to talk and giggle and laugh. You told wide stories about your adventures and you both told interesting facts about yourselves. Unbeknownst to you, The Doctor grinned bittersweetly from your open door frame, happy that you were finally happy and not alone.