Girl Failure - Blog Posts
Random thoughts 13NOV24
I feel relieved but also upset at the same time. The realtors office that I rent my apartment through scared the shit out of me by forgetting that I paid rent a couple months in advance. I was afraid that I had to pay over a grand of money that I don’t have. I missed my therapy appointment because I was just irresponsible. I slept in instead of going, when I need it. I’m conflicted about my only guy friend doing something horrible to my other friend. I still have not confronted him about it because I’ve just been dealing with depression lately.
some good things are that:
I’m going to visit my family for winter break in a few weeks. I possibly have an exciting journey I’m going on next summer. I’m finally starting to unpack. I got a library card in the new town I live in and it has the most adorable little tulip fields on the front of the card.
I’m 25 and I feel like I’m not doing enough to prepare myself for the future and to further my medical transition. Plus with Trump being the new president I’m uncertain that things will get better. I just want to escape to a different reality occasionally, I want to feel understood in a deeper level and feel safe around people that I choose to trust. It’s hard, however I keep reminding myself that I am more content than I’ve ever been. I feel free, it’s just seems like a dark cloud is always looming above me.
Oh to long for the ability to run myself on technological hardware, cold steel shaping most of my figure.
I should be made out of wires and circuits not veins and bone