Goewin - Blog Posts

we argue in the kitchen, about whether to have children and about the world ending, and the scale of my ambition and how much is art really worth the very thing you're best at is the thing that hurts the most but you need your rotten heart your dazzling pain like diamond rings you need to go to war to find material to sing I am no mother, I am no bride, I am king I need my golden crown of sorrow my bloody sword to swing my empty halls to echo with grand self-mythology I am no mother, I am no bride, I am king I am no mother, I am no bride, I am king but a woman is a changeling, always shifting shape just when you think you have it figured out something new begins to take what strange claws are these scratching at my skin? I never knew my killer would be coming from within I am no mother, I am no bride, I am king I am no mother, I am no bride, I am king I need my golden crown of sorrow my bloody sword to swing I need my empty halls to echo with grand self-mythology 'cause I am no mother, I am no bride, I am king I am no mother, I am no bride, I am king I am no mother, I am no bride, I am king I am no mother, I am no bride, I am king ho ho-oh-hoo ho-ooh ho-oh-oh-oh I was never as good as I always thought I was but I knew how to dress it up I was never satisfied, it never let me go just dragged me by my hair and back on with the show

the blooming flowers

the flowers bloom and birds chirp, as they follow path of a girl on a stroll. the child skips and so do they, beloved by warmth, beloved by fae. the songs grow bright like the light of the stars, and flower bloom to give food and nectar. they flowers cover the palace and lock those who stop, for the virgin footholder has come back to shop.

you know. I headcanon that lleu has blue-ish black hair and goewin has a warm toned, brown-ish or red-ish dark hair. why? goewin's hair is brown-ish/red-ish black because the sun loves her. it gives her the warmth and the rays of light that only ever shine on her. she is not in the cage of her grief. she is scorching like fire and beautiful like spring blooms. she is free to wherever the sun touches. her fate and her destiny decided by birth. but lleu? his hair reflects the cage of moonlight. the void of darkness enlightened only by the stars and the moon. his world limited only to the taverns of his birth. he is caged and melancholic in his treacherous state. his fate and destiny decided since birth. he is the ending where goewin has her beginning.

of wrens and hummingbirds.

quilts accompanied the lady of camlan as she stirred awake from her drowsed state. she arose from her sheets, abandoning her quilt and sitting atop her soft, silken sheets. she had expected the blaring light to awaken her instead of her own fears, but it seemed the world felt unkind for goewin's heart for this new day.

the soft and straightened locks that were her makeshift crown, were disheveled from her thrashing. and her eyes, soft and puffy, a soft color that danced between the lightest of red, to the highest of beet. she noticed her nightgown had untied ribbons of the light and comfortable mesh, and the laces had already been ripped to shreds. just as it had that very day. she stood up, her legs unstable and barely in state to be walked on, the phantom pain on her shoulders as she felt she was held down, only grew worse with each step she took, and the walls seemed closer by each tap on the floor, seemingly wishing to squeeze her like bugs she had on medraut’s desk.

the white lioness and the lion tamer

my great white lioness, I forbid you to cry. I tell you that myself as your beloved sunbird. I am a boy you love more than your father, and thus I love you more than my own. I shall not love you like a son but love you as my namesake did thou athena, for you are mine and I am yours, for when you have marked me as yours, I have marked you as mine.

SCRIPTURES

In a world of Goewin. daughter of Artos, sister to her brothers. It follows the world beyond her written, personal scriptures, and explores a world for... another brother of her's. the world is cruel, and Athena is loud.

edit : by @to-lamb-to-slaughter. txt : by @to-lamb-to-slaughter / A Coalition of Lions by Elizabeth Wein or @/tooboredforthis / edit : by @to-lamb-to-slaughter. txt : by @to-lamb-to-slaughter / A Coalition of Lions by Elizabeth Wein or @/tooboredforthis / edit : by @to-lamb-to-slaughter . txt : by @to-lamb-to-slaughter / The Sunbird by Elizabeth Wein or @/tooboredforthis

don’t piss me off. you don’t know who you are messing with.

PBP. G. Gilfaethwy and Goewin.

I’ve mentioned a few times that I’ve developed my own schedule of ritual and holy days, and that I’ve used the traditional eight sabbats of Neo-Wicca as markers for when to honor the gods of my pantheon.  Beltaine belongs to Gilfaethwy, who is one of the hardest deities for me to understand, while Yule belongs to Goewin.

In the Mabinogion, Gilfaethwy is the brother (sometimes listed as the twin) of Gwydion.  Their exploits kick off all the events of the Fourth Branch; to simplify it, Gilfaethwy lusts after Goewin, an avowed virgin, and Gwydion starts a war so Gilfaethwy has an opportunity to take Goewin for His own.

I’ve seen translations of the myth that state that Gilfaethwy “seduced” Goewin, but the translations that ring more true to me (and this seemed to be corroborated by the small amount of work I’ve done with Them) say that Gilfaethwy raped Goewin, that She had no voice or agency in what happened to Her.  That interpretation of events definitely colors my view both of the Mabinogion and of the gods themselves.  (Disclaimer:  UPG ahoy!)

I consider Gilfaethwy (who, to me, appears as an extremely genderfluid being) as the Primal Force; the id of the gods.  Xhe goes after what Xhe wants, with no thought to consequences or what anyone else thinks or feels about it.  Xir energy is almost destructive in its force; supremely creative but with underpinnings of danger.  It’s the closest to ecstatic creative madness as I’ve ever come.  Xir feast is Beltaine; a time of primal urges and setting aside rational thought to use mindless passion.

Goewin, in contrast, is the Lady of Sorrows.  Of the goddesses in my pantheon, Goewin is the one who understands pain and trials and tears, and She is the one who brings comfort in dark times.  She is the veil that drops down to separate you from the world, and within that veil She gives you the strength to heal your hurts.  She is the lady of Yule; She is the seemingly endless darkness, and She is the spark of light and hope at dawn.