Cedric: What did you want to tell me, Harry?
Harry: Have my babies
Cedric: ...
Harry: I mean, the first task is dragons
---
McGonagall: Potter, who is your partner for the Yule Ball?
Ron: *kicks down the door while in a stunning blue dress and four-inch heels*
Ron: It's me, bitches.
---
Ron: My dad sent you this to help with the second task
Ron: *opens up box to reveal a bunch of rubber duckies*
---
Harry: Can you give me advice on how to talk to girls?
Sirius: *stares at Harry blankly while the Mii theme plays*
---
*Quidditch world cup*
Arthur: Hey, where's Percy?
Harry: I'll go check
*five minutes later*
Harry, traumatized: He's fucking my old Quidditch captain
---
Draco: *sees Harry and Ron dancing at the Yule Ball*
Draco: MY FATHER WILL HEAR ABOUT THIS
*later*
Draco, writing a letter: Dear Father, I have never been so heart broken or betrayed