Grunkle Stan - Blog Posts
guys i love those vampire stan aus as much as the next person but let’s all be honest if he was actually a vampire he would be soo lame
he got bit by one of his exes who he didn’t realize was a vampire. he thought it was just kinky stuff at first but then he woke up the next morning with blood cravings and went “fuuuuuuccckkkk”
he tried to hunt a person once but people really underestimate how much energy it takes to chase down someone and keep them still long enough to feed. the minute he got done, he was still hungry because he spent all of his energy on getting them to where it made zero difference. so he steals from hospitals, not because he feels guilty, but because it’s just too damn tiring to feed off people. blood bags don’t struggle.
and god damnit, for the life of him he can’t figure out the bat thing!! how do they do that? he just can’t get it. he’s such a loser. i mean. i guess he’s immortal too but he wasn’t ever going to die anyway. he’s just somehow even more reckless than he already was.
stan is the kind of person to not come out as trans until she fully transitions and presents as a girl completely wendy is also the kind of person to not come out as trans until he fully transitions and presents as a guy completely. so one day soos comes into work and it seems like the two of them just switched genders. nobody even addresses the change, so soos just thinks theyre playing some kind of prank or something.
and then it stays like that forever. and it doesnt change. because they just decided to transition on a whim one day. get everything sorted out before you even bother with it.
pines family but they’re ENAs but now with visuals. yaayy (this took me all day yesterday)
so i thought of a stan ENA au (stENA) and then i remembered that ENA is (theoretically??) a species so i thought of a ford ENA for that au (ENArd) and then i remembered that ENA is (theoretically??) a species so i thought of ENAs for the younger twins (dippENA + mabENA) stENA side 1: mr mystery. the business side. suave, smooth, flirty man. side 2: the depressed side. he doesn't really talk often but hes just. hes really tired okay. hes been through a lot. ENArd side 1: the adventurous side. always frolicking. looking for something new to study. joyful and whimsical. side 2: the paranoid side. always jumping at shadows. smart enough to know everything that will go wrong. mabENA (thanks commenter x1): side 1: the creative side. also joyful and whimsical but she gets lost in her own head a lot also. but omg sooo many sweaters!! side 2: the anxious side. constantly worrying about losing friends, breakups, everything she loves. dippENA (thanks commenter x2): side 1: the curious side. constantly running around looking for mysteries to solve. side 2: the insecure side. constantly worried about his own looks and impression. thinks everyone hates him. in general the ENA aren't a very trustworthy species so everywhere outside of gravity falls is. not that great to them. but then theres gravity falls so theyre pretty well off. im also trying to think of a clever way for bill possessions to take place but my mind is kinda blank on that so. if anyone more creative than me wants to share a take on that thatd be cool.
i was just watching the owl house with my father and. i thought i would point this out.
i want to do screenshot redraws of femstan but uh. i only have silly low quality screenshots so if you have any screenshots you really like and you want to see it femstaned then send them on over.
ford pines (early 20's, probably): i dont particularly feel tied to being a man, and i dont know if thats normal or not. i should probably just focus on my studies and worry about that later. besides, dad always told me to man up. maybe he's right. stan pines (early 20's, probably) (also in drag): damn my tits look fat as shit in this. ford pines (post canon): it is normal to not be tied to any gender and i feel very comfortable knowing i dont have to be forced into a gender identity im not comfortable with. gender neutral pronouns make me feel comfortable with myself and the fact other people around me are willing to support that means a lot to me stan pines (post canon) (also wearing a dress): damn my tits look fat as shit in this.
stan sometimes has to get up at ungodly hours of the night in order to help soos with a simple problem. ford sometimes has to have uncomfortable conversations with tate in order to explain himself and apologize. but thats not what matters.
what matters is that theyre better than filbrick
and the fact that they broke the cycle.
this therapist told him to think more positive thoughts.
ok ok more stan twin headcanons. this time it’s how they recover from being overstimulated for an extended period of time
ford:
-paces around his room
-listens to music (mostly soundtracks)
-fidgets with all of the random stuff in his room. trinkets and things
-sometimes writes/draws in his journal
-maybe even watches a comfort show
-mostly non-verbal but if you’re close to him (family) he’s more than willing to just sit there and listen to you talk for a while.
-also takes off his glasses during this time. doesn’t want to have to take in all of details in his vision at once.
-tries to focus on just little things at a time. it slowly wears off but it’s still effective and he starts talking again pretty quick.
stan:
-THE VOID.
-no lights
-no noise
-no fidgets
-only laying on the floor
-only staring at the ceiling
-if you even think of coming near him you’ll get clobbered (not really but he REALLY wants to be alone)
-entirely nonverbal
-basically puts himself in a sensory deprivation tank and it works like a factory reset button. he’s fine like 10 minutes later.
i wonder who he’s getting married to…
or maybe he’s just wearing it to get attention. who knows (that dress is barely hanging on. had to REALLY squish him into it)
ok another stan headcanon.. that cane with the 8 ball on it? yeah. its a real cane. dipper and mabel both thought it was just a prop for a while (and most tourists also assume this) until one day stan's knee got locked up and he used it while inside the Shack and not just on tours. basically couldn't walk without it at that point. yeah. when his knee started acting up he stole got a cane. and yeah. maybe he did take off the original handle to superglue a really tacky and glossy 8 ball onto it. what are you gonna do about it? call the cops? so what if the lack of grip on it causes his hand to slip off sometimes and he ends up falling over? so what if its top heavy? so what if the spherical shape of it is hard to hold onto in general and feels awkward? it looks great. its part of his brand. almost as iconic as his fez. dont disrespect his cane or he will hit you over the head with it. edit: if you want to know what ford's cane is like.
sorry chat. the brainworms got to me.
happy birthday to nwhs. very cool. very sick
happy women’s. i love women
ok ive been thinking about valentin a lot lately so im just going to infodump what i have right now.
first i should say. i dont plan on giving the guy trauma. i know its a whole thing with ocs and that they always have trauma, but i really dont want to do that with valentin. and i have a reason for this. the whole reason i want stan to have a boyfriend like this in the first place is because he deserves to have some kind of stable figure in his life. someone who can comfort him and be understanding of him without their own issues also weighing down on them. valentin is in a place where he is able to be that kind of person for stan. and thats because hes mentally stable enough to do that. okay now for the actually entertaining stuff. valentin is a very gentle and nice guy despite how big and scary he is (and the fact he kills people..) and is friendly with pretty much everyone in town like stan is.
hes very big into parkour and stuff. before he moved to gravity falls it was more urban parkour, scaling buildings and such, and afterwards he got really interested in exploring the forest and climbing the trees. he sees it like a giant playground. its very fun.
him being into parkour is actually what led to him becoming a hitman. i couldn't for the life of me tell you how exactly he ended up with that job, but it made a decent living and he didn't mind it much. but whatever
he has a few piercings. he has pierced ears (which was in the concept art) and ive decided he can also have snakebites and a nose piercing too, why the hell not. he probably has a few tattoos too, but i havent put enough thought into those yet.
speaking of snakebites. he loves snakes. i think everyone deserves a favorite animal and his is snakes. stan is inexplicably terrified of snakes so whenever theres one in the shack or on the porch then valentin is the one to take care of it.
also. remember how i said "dont ask this guy where he was in the mid 80's" on the concept art? well since youre here i might as well give some clarification to that. there were like. "parties" for bears in the 80's in california. he was over there. for completely unrelated reasons. dont worry about it. dipper was one thousand percent convinced valentin was a werewolf when him and mabel first got to the shack. sure, he was really nice to them, but what if it was all a ploy so he could eat them or whatever werewolves do?? plus, he was always running off into the forest to "work out". it was suspicious.. and then he realized valentin was just really active and liked nature. boring.
mabel loovves doing valentin's hair. its so long, the possibilities are endless!! lots of times he ends up just being a model for her, doing different hairstyles or wearing different accessories. its very sweet and wholesome and cool.
soos basically has two dads now. valentin is always there to teach him stuff and give advice. compared to stan he's the voice of reason most of the time. they're very close.
dont think i forgot about wendy! he's close with wendy too! she taught him how to use axes to climb trees more efficiently and other methods of navigating the forest. he taught her how to fire guns. it's great.
and now the best for last. stan.
valentin met stan after moving to gravity falls in order to be more secluded and less likely to be hunted down by cops. this was about 7 years after stan got there, so he was already pretty settled in. they met in greasy's diner and talked for a while, hitting it off. they kept meeting there for lunch and sometimes breakfast, and after a while they grew closer and hung out more often. blah blah blah they start dating its all great. cool!
fun fact. they're unofficially married. they can't legally get married since it was like. the 90's when they started dating and even then the timeline goes up until 2012 where same sex marriage still wasn't legal. but they said "hey even if we can't sign the paperwork (which would be a headache anyways) we can still wear matching rings and live together and basically be husbands but socially instead of legally." and so they're. basically married.
i said in the concept art that valentin is kinda housewife like? yeah. he takes care of the house and stuff while stan goes out and works, and really just. likes baking. it seems out of place considering everything else but he just likes it.
when stan finishes his work day, its immediately to valentin for emotional support and cuddles. theres nothing more relaxing than just sitting back and letting val hold him close. maybe talk about how their days went. domestic bliss and all that.
shockingly valentin is very bad at flirting. but not in the way you're probably thinking. stan will say something like "damn baby youre body is soo beautiful. all of that working out is really paying off huh." and then valentin will reply like "well i think your eyes are pretty and your silver hair brings out the way they shine when you're happy" like how the hell is stan supposed to reply to that. valentin is so stupid /aff
also stan gets flustered very easily around him. no matter how badass you think he looks with his brass knuckles ready to fight, he looks like a pathetic wet cat next to valentin.
ive also had a lot of thoughts about him and ford interacting, but im gonna put that in another post because this alone is already over 900 words and thats too much. so uh. yeahh. hope you like him.
alright let me take a crack at this
there are a few plot holes that we need to avoid here. and by a few i mean a good amount.
stan’s criminal record. nobody would want to take the identity of someone who still has jail time to serve. so this will have to be an au where a. it takes place before stan turns to crime or b. stan doesn’t commit crime at all. or a secret third option where ford doesn’t even realize how much of a criminal stan is until he’s too far in and has to learn how to run from the cops.
the fingers. nobody in gravity falls ever noticed that ford had 6 fingers, so it was easy for them to just go with a normal guy who had 5. but someone with 5 fingers seeming to randomly grow an extra finger? strange. especially since stan is much more sociable than ford. the guy who’s known for being super talkative and knows everyone in town suddenly locks himself away in his house? also strange.
stanley needs to be out of the picture one way or another. probably not dead?
ford needs a motive. this has two parts two it. a. he needs a reason to leave his old identity behind and b. he needs a reason to take stan’s identity specifically.
so with all of this in mind. i give you this.
stan gets to gravity falls before ford does. thinks “hey this place isn’t on any maps. no cops will find me here!”
settles in. makes a good living off of being a tourist trap.
he uses the bill summoning thing as another attraction. Very Stupid Idea.
bill comes to make a deal with stan. thinks “hey look there’s a guy i can con.”
stan gets approached by bill for a deal. thinks “hey look there’s a guy i can con.”
stan goes missing
ford arrives to gravity falls.
ford does not have grant money. people don’t believe in his weirdness theory because they think he’s just talking about the tourist trap that used to be there for a while.
finds an old abandoned shack.
investigates old abandoned shack.
“hey wait a minute. not only are there scraps of proof for my theory, but these are stan’s belongings!”
ford thinks. nobody takes him seriously. people don’t seem to take stan’s disappearance seriously either.
“hey! what if i took on his identity, reopened the tourist trap, and used this footing for money and such while i look for stan?”
and thus. ford takes stan’s identity, runs the tourist trap and tries to look for his brother.
the excuse for the fingers is that he had a run in with some kind of magical creature. it gifted him with extra dexterity in the form of extra fingers. everyone loves it.
ford learns to run from the cops. something he never thought he would have to do.
You know what? We have Stanley pretending to be Stanford for a long ass time
Now give me an AU where Stanford pretends to be Stanley. I don't know man, like he wasn't anyone you could even pretend to be. Stanley is a nobody. Basically.
So this AU would be where he is someone somewhere and Stanford has to pretend to be him. Why? I don't know, figure it out.
so i drew up a little concept for him..
do not ask this man where he was in the mid 80’s…
this design is subject to changes so don’t get too attached to everything. don’t be fooled by his appearance he is fucking huge. like bud gleeful huge.
guys im gonna be very open and vulnerable with you right now. okay? dont make fun of me. im very, very, VERY tempted to make an oc for the simple purpose of shipping them with stan because i think he deserves to have a big bear boyfriend who loves him and they'd get married (for tax benefits of course) and be happy. too many people ship him with twinks. his boyfriend should completely tower over him. idk thats just what im thinking right now. edit: i gave in
even MORE stan twin headcanons so we all know from the charity stream that ford is very oblivious to people flirting with him. haha! very funny! very silly! so when he goes out to bars with stan he usually doesnt understand when people are flirting with him (and if they're stupidly obvious with it, then he turns them down because hes married to mcgucket and YOU CANT TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME-) and stan flirts with people in bars a lot. you know. as he does. whenever someone comes up to flirt with him or whatever, ford will look away and pretend not to listen.. and then turn back around when he realizes that stan is just as, if not, more dense and clueless than he is. and he doesn't even realize he's being flirted with?? he's just?? casually talking to this person who's clearly interested????? like it's taking him forever to realize?? when he does realize, though, he immediately starts flirting back and ford turns back around again. whether it's just an internal doubt where he doesn't think anybody would be interested in him, and just takes it as them being nice, or he's just really that clueless, ford doesn't really know. but he's started to put on a stopwatch to see just how long it would take for him to flirt back. the longest it's taken so far is 15 minutes and 34 seconds.
i’m gonna boost this video of mine because 1. it looks cool 2. youtube destroyed the quality on it and 3. it got copyrighted so that’s. not good for reach.
here. you can have it.
more stanton, this time with lasso tool!
touchy subject i guess..
i saw @babyblankyerror and @aroace-get-out-of-my-face science time with dr pine au and was like “haha isn’t it funny that stan is a puppeteer in one au and a puppet in another” and so i made this.
stanton again
hotline miami looking ahh (click for better quality i think)