Heartbreak - Blog Posts

Και είσαι εσυ που θέλω να 'χω δίπλα μου , που θέλω να περνώ τα βράδια μου στα σκοτεινά με εσένα αγκαλιά. Γιατί είσαι το φως μου στο σκοτάδι είσαι η σκιά μέσα στην μέρα μου είσαι όσα θέλω και χρειάζομαι. Μα λείπεις γιατί εσυ το θέλεις όχι γιατί στο ζήτησα!!

And I don’t have one friend like this at all. No wonder my life is lacking! Absolutely nobody believes in me or knows what I aspire to be!

The flowers in our garden eden grew so fast

But now the sun is gone forever, i am crying

Gone is the once so precious seed

Intoxicated by the love i bleed

It’s blue because i cannot breathe

Spilling out butterflies and all these lies

oops, there goes my mind

Six feet deep and all i’m saying’s “hello, Rohrschach”

~2amdreamboutya

It was about 21 years ago today that we lost Prue Halliwell, one of my fav charmed sisters. Rip Prue. You are still missed 💔

I think I can say for definite that there will not be a season 5 for Sherlock. It's been years since the last season but with Una Stubbs aka Mrs Hudson's death in her 80's on the 12th of this month I believe, I can honestly say we don't want another Mrs Hudson. Rip Una, as the 9th doctor liked to say, you were fantastic. And I'm sad to know you're gone.

All about us

Summary: You and Cas share a night together only for him to tell you it was a mistake the next day but the damage is already done. You are now pregnant and alone so you do what you think is the best thing and leave. Will you be able to raise a child single handedly? How will you react when Cas accidentally finds you again?

You lay on your bed, tears splashing down your cheeks. It had been a few weeks since that night with Castiel and since then you'd discovered two things. 1. Castiel was ignoring you and 2. You were pregnant. If you'd known how much pain he'd cause you, you never would have spent the night with him. It had been the best night ever for you. Castiel had been nothing but passionate and attentive to you the whole time which only made you love him more. But the next day, he'd been distant and cold, telling you it had been nothing more than a mistake, leaving you in tears as he left without a word.

Your heart shattered further when he made a point to ignore you whenever you were in the same room together. It broke your heart and brought forth questions from the boys that you didn't want to answer. But now you had no choice. You were pregnant with his child and there was nothing you could do about it. So now you had your face buried in your lap as you wept. Your hormones were out of control, you were sick almost every day and you were either tearful all the time or snappy. A knock on your door startled you and you looked up. You quickly wiped your face and opened it.

Big mistake. It was Castiel.

Pain turned to anger and you couldn't help but glare at him. You could see the surprise in his eyes at the sight of you and you guessed you looked a right mess but you didn't care. It was his fault and yet you were having to deal with it all alone. "What?" You snarled.

Castiel blinked at you. "Dean told me to get you," he replied stiffly. "They have a hunt."

You rolled your eyes at him. The boys didn't know you were pregnant since you hadn't told anyone. You'd seen first hand how Castiel was reacting towards you so how badly would he react to the baby? Would he make you get an abortion? Probably, since relationships between humans and Angels were forbidden for exactly this reason. They were considered abominations to be killed - probably along with the mother. No, you weren't going to tell him. But since you were pregnant, that meant you couldn't just go out risking your life anymore. No more hunts, no more risking your life, no more near deaths. "Well, you can tell him I'm not going," you snapped and moved to slam the door on his face but Castiel was faster.

"What's wrong with you?"

"None of your fucking business!" I growled. As far as I was concerned I owed him nothing. "Now move!"

His eyes narrowed and it looked like he wanted to say something but instead he closed his mouth and walked away.

It was almost two months into the pregnancy when I realized I had to leave the bunker and the Winchesters. God knows what would happen to me when Castiel or the Angels found out. The bunker was protected but I couldn't stay in here forever. Sooner or later I would have to leave and that's when they'd most likely attack. I hated to admit it but Sam and Dean were supernatural magnets. They both attracted all sorts of creatures - mostly evil ones in their case and I couldn't take that risk. It wasn't just about me now, I also had to think of my baby. My baby that was growing inside of me. The thought of motherhood scared me especially since I was now a single mother soon to raise a child on her own. I doubted Castiel would help me. Not with how he'd been treating me anyway. It was there and then that I decided.

I would leave that night.

I love seeing the delight in her eyes! She says She has something that She has been eager to tell me … but She wanted to wait until She was 💯 certain of my love and devotion for Her. “What is it, my Princess?” I ask …

😧🤯🥵

The darkness in my head thick viscid pulling me under

I once thought you had come to banish the darkness It turns out you only came to snuff out my remaining light

I keep typing out all my feelings to you Then I remember I’m not allowed anymore

I am angry with you  But I am far more  disappointed in myself 

This is my fault

I let you in I showed you all my softest  most vulnerable bits I allowed myself to believe  you’d keep them safe

This is my fault

I'm over you But I will never be over what we had

he took a screenshot and my heart took flight

I want...

I want to rail. I want to scream at the top of my lungs. I want to yell out horrible things about him and make him feel as useless and broken as I do.

I want his arms around me. I want him to stroke my hair and tell me it will be okay. I want to believe it will be okay. I want to be safe. And secure.

But no one hears my wants as they fall directly into the blackness which was once my heart.

Time again to box it all up. Put it away. Pretend I don’t feel. Time to lose myself in mundanity. Hide from passion. Give up on hope.

Hanging on by a thread Waiting for you to cut the cord