Heartcore - Blog Posts
Handle yourself with the care and love that you yearn, you do not deserve to be beat up over an event that took a gruesome toll on you, putting up with that time was hard, dealing with the absence of so many figures was hard, having the constant fear of having nobody to reach out to was hard. And you have every right to accept that, it was completely alright to accept that you wanted to be held and loved even in a time where a version of you believed that you couldn’t. Say yes to being embraced
Always casually waiting sitting on those huge seats in the cinema hall swinging my feet back and forth feeling the butterflies in my stomach chipping away at the branches of my ribs to see the post credit scene where they pat you on the back and kith your eyelids and forehead and that sweet nose of yours because you did today, you did today :)
i think it’s wonderful the way people put themselves out there, be it their word or presence, in mind or in soul, they have my heart. We all come from our own sets of backgrounds sharing our own sets of personal experiences and I wonder who actually knows the kind of influences we have around us, to maybe keep things to ourselves or be able to lay it on the table, because it’s absolutely wonderful watching someone learning to grow past those experiences and choosing to take a step, I truly and deeply admire you for saying that and it must’ve been incredibly hard to go through those intrusive thoughts and getting till the end of the road, but I promise you I will be waiting, forever and more if it means that you’ll be taking steps to get there :) please continue doing what you do I love how we share our love and our thoughts, it’s so stupidly brave and passionate.
When my friend said “I want to hold you, I want to know you, and I want to know where you’ve been” and Vashti Bunyan said “I want to walk around your mind someday, I’d like to walk all over the things you say to me, I’d like to run and jump on your solitude, I’d like to rearrange your attitude to me, you say you just want peace and you’d never hurt anyone, you see the end before the beginning has ever begun”
We don’t know and we’re not at an authority to know what tomorrow’s consequences would bear, and it’s completely 110% ok to accept that there’s someone out there willing to sit by our side and help us through the net, to weave a heart and perhaps even a warm sweater out of it, not something that traps us in the disguise of our solitude. It’s alright to admit you’d want to reach out to a hand that helps you see through the holes of a woven mess because claiming that one wants peace and doesn’t want to act violently against another gives away more than you’d intend for it to, especially when it goes further than just wanting to restore a sense of security and support externally, it speaks about the nature you’ve been sown to, and how you can very much grow out of it, creating peace outside can only come after one has created peace within themselves :) to come to a mutual consensus with your mind and heart, collectively working together to patch through and heal each other
They’re not stepping in on your privacy but simply stopping by your doorstep to find a spot for the two of you to sit together, leaving behind a trail of palm leaves so you can feel and see the glimpses of your growth and vulnerability, not as a weakness but as a medium to communicate with yourself <3
You’re going to reach a point where you look at a person and you can tell what all has changed ever since the last time the two of you spoke, you’re going to realise that they have new hobbies and gifts and interests, maybe even people, encompassing them, and you’re not a part of it. This is your strike to pick up on the fact that you’ve walked through the times you knew you couldn’t have passed considering the emotional barrier tugging at your wrists like restraints, you’re going to look at those hands and realise that pressing onto the palms of your memories doesn’t sting as much anymore, the shade of your skin has risen again, dancing in your embrace like velvet sheets that lay beneath :)
maybe this isn’t the time for you to hold a hand, maybe this is the time for you to reach down your pocket and find the Candy you were supposed to have a week ago and laugh to yourself. You have a life, and you’re living it. The departure of a person does not stop that, and it was never about the pace was it? you’re living proof of that. To remember and to savour the very last thought of a person is human nature, not a weakness.
Dropping by to put a strong emphasis on the fact that you don’t owe anyone anything. Your emotions, your feelings, your thoughts, your opinions, shares, interests, your smile, your gaze, your EVERYTHING, you get to choose to give it on your free will, you get to decide who is deemed worthy of it, always :)
I remember a site once asked me to specify my qualifications for a course I was applying for, but what really struck my eye was the format of their question , “could you please take out a second of your time to help us determine the inclination of your course by giving this quiz a try?”, the ‘please’ ? My oh my I’ll kiss whoever programmed that test on the cheek, it was so endearing, I mean it WHOEVER sat down and took their time to think that through gets flowers from me
Getting caught in the corner of someone’s eye is such an embrace, holding the same vision as them is such an embrace
Subtle reminders are the pure symbolisation of growth and the way things settle around your life, the way events and people find their place in your life, becoming a part but not always an involvement, weathering the storm together, you realise that the next time you walk past this pavement, the little sprout you first saw from the corner of your eye would’ve bloomed out from its shoot in the open, compelling you to bathe it in the warmth of the sun and feeling the taint of heat living behind its silly footprints of freckles across your rosy cheeks, you would’ve witnessed growth and time, you would’ve witnessed growth and time :)
Strangely so, I hold onto the stem of the daffodils, a little tighter, a little longer, cultivating a strong desire to be enveloped by their cushioned petals
Imagine dancing around the body of a sapien in shades of crimson, just as the moon reflected the colors of their blush
Taking accountability for your mistake is different from holding yourself responsible for somebody else’s wrong doing, you can sympathise and see what you’d do in their situation to help them out, but you can’t dig yourself a grave for something that doesn’t involve you at all. One shouldn't play the blame game, but know who needs to rightfully own up to face the repercussions, to realise and be honest :)
I’m the type of person to put on a rlly sweet scent/lotion, hop upto you, have you smell my hands only to see you smile and hop away to cloud nine, this. This is my turn to be happy.
This is the most vulnerable I’ve been the entire year, I’m seriously not over 2021 reaching its peak this quick, hold onto me a little tighter, a little longer
To those sharing every little aspect of their days?? Y’all are painstakingly adorable, it crushes me, it BREAKS me to see that smile on your face, or how your eyes light up every time you bring that one rock you saw on your way home and nurture and care for it as if you plunked it on the table from your own womb or how that one lady flashed you a smile and those beautiful wrinkles caressing her plum cheeks could tell tales that go on for days, I’m. Here. To. Hear. You. Out. Please spoil me with the abundance of your cute brain let me hear that voice again I BEG OF YOU.
Even if what once was, is erased, I’ll plant a kiss on those rosy cheeks again.
“Crawling down,From high hopes to the ground,Trouble sings along,In my heart and soul,A giant in the room,I left him long ago, following you.Wind heavy on the ground,A cloak before the moon,I guess I've never known,Someone like you.”
Agnes Obel - run cried the crawling
Look at that cute bald spot! *gently plants a sapling, tender pats every now and then* there there, all glammed up and posh you may proceed with your day <3 𓏲˖ 𑁍 ࣪˖ 𓂃
Sometimes I seriously wake up, I wake up and I smile, I chuckle to no one in particular
I made it to another day, holy shit I did, I did it all by myself, I’m here with myself, I’m here for myself, I STILL HAVE ME, I have me and I need to take advantage of that, I need to selfishly adore myself, I need to put on that dress I’ve been eyeing for weeks because I CAN! It’s ridiculous of me to think there’s a rule book for it, This is boundless, it’s my body, the dress will fit ME Not the other way around, I’ll name that flower I sit across in my balcony every time I’m brewing coffee because it’s adorable, I want to take care of it, I’m holding responsibility as I bloom more and more every day, I want to reassure it that I’ll be here to water it again tomorrow, I’m here and that’s never going to change
~ ghosts of tulips past :: 💌
Timid petals,
Fell on my lips
Rusted metal,
Bound on my ribs
Knew you wouldn’t settle
For anything but bliss
Here’s to my purity and insanity
I was a prisoner of fall,
A prisoner of fall
~ ghosts of tulips past :: 💌
The other day I was staring at the moon and it really got me thinking , do I have a charming personality -?? For her to get flustered and hide behind those clouds , the pink hue around her gave me an answer , October clearly had its fair share of goofiness with me
~ ghosts of tulips past :: 💌
There’s just something about watching people doing lovey dovey things for others , be it a gesture as simple as holding the door for them, giving an extra tip, saying “it’s on me” with those sweetheart smiles , greeting your neighbours on your way to work and arguably forcing your best friend to let loose as I put my playlist on and let them be, I’d much rather be a part of the crowd witnessing something beautiful than the act itself , sort of like fireworks , I want it to stir something in me , sweep me off my feet than the other way around. Maybe its in fear of doing the act, or feeling like I won’t do them justice,nevertheless it’s a warm and bubbly feeling. For now I’m content, for now.
~ ghosts of tulips past :: 💌
I’m the kind of person who’d enjoy watching someone, telling me the way around , how they’re familiarised with their surrounding , how they know the ropes , how they know the people , how they remember the time at which the mailman delivers daily letters for those at work , how they know about the girl who gets the sweetest coffee in office , how they know about mrs.Clark’s newly purchased Mary Janes, since she wanted to keep up with the trends but ended up falling in love with the pair , how they know who sits where, how they know when to approach someone or not. The overdose of empathy and familiarity in the workplace makes me feel so domestic , it’s such a content feeling seeing someone settle down and get to know others , gets me thinking who would’ve initiated conversation, the first date, the first meeting, the first party, the first get together , the first call. Their first everything, and the growth and relationships they’ve nurtured, has me fascinated.
~ Ghosts of tulips past :: 💌
You ever get the feeling of holding back your affection because you don’t want to overwhelm someone with your love ,the fact that you have so much to give to them but you think there’s so little they’d accept , you don’t want to scare them off if anything you want to embrace them and tell them just how amazing they are , how beautiful a mind they have , how their thoughts are aligned in such a pretty manner ,how the sight of them warms your heart, how your body craves to be around them, they make you feel domestic, they make you feel content, and youd do anything to protect them, even if it means from your own love for them, you want to let them know that they’re stuck with you, how you have to resist the urge to spoil them unconditionally with your passionate feelings for them, you want to make them feel reassured, safe, like they belong and matter
~ghosts of tulips past :: 💌
~ ghosts of tulips past :: 💌