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His soul rushed out. Carrying the memory that was important. The only memory that was important.
Vedavati.
— War of Lanka, Amish
Maybe, in the end, our hopes were the wrong way around. But what am I, what are you, if not a misdiagnosis? And if so, is there a way out?
—Haruki Murakami, The Elephant Vanishes.
When I was in school, I started writing short stories. Then, I wrote poetry. But what I really want to write is a novel. A long tale, in which I can find myself. But it never happens. Every time I sit down to write...it turns into poetry.
—Cobalt Blue(2022).
“Loving someone is like moving into a house,” Sonja used to say. “At first you fall in love with all the new things, amazed every morning that all this belongs to you, as if fearing that someone would suddenly come rushing in through the door to explain that a terrible mistake had been made, you weren’t actually supposed to live in a wonderful place like this. Then over the years the walls become weathered, the wood splinters here and there, and you start to love that house not so much because of all its perfection, but rather for its imperfections. You get to know all the nooks and crannies. How to avoid getting the key caught in the lock when it’s cold outside. Which of the floorboards flex slightly when one steps on them or exactly how to open the wardrobe doors without them creaking. These are the little secrets that make it your home.”
— A man called Ove, Fredrick Bachman.
Is it future or is it past? Laura Palmer & Dale Cooper TWIN PEAKS 1.04 / TWIN PEAKS: THE RETURN PART 17
The show I’m currently in with my theatre company opens tonight (I almost missed making my customary opening night eve post, but I think it still counts as long as I do it day of!), but since it’s an original work written by our director, I couldn’t just search up the show on here like I usually do. So, since the show explores themes of home and what it means to be home, to go home, to have a home, and what makes a home, I decided to search up pictures that remind me of the place I still think of as home--the Blue Ridge Mountains.
I haven’t lived amidst them for nearly a decade now, but there’s still something in me that only settles when I feel the arms of the mountains wrapped around me. I still felt it immediately last summer when we were driving out through Ohio--there’s a point in the state when it passes from flat lands to hills to the edge of the mountains proper, and the embrace of the mountains always feels like a homecoming to me. When we moved while I was in high school, I was sure I’d move back to Virginia as soon as I became an adult, but now I’m 26 and I still live in the Midwest. Most of the people I know back home have moved away; all my closest friends from the street I used to live on are now off in New York or California or Oklahoma seeking their own life dreams, and though I still love the place, it’s harder to return when I no longer know the people. The things that made up my home have been scattered, divided and strewn across the country, leaving me to choose between the places and the people I’ve thought of as home--and often, I choose the easiest thing, staying where I was planted. Home is a difficult thing to find. I don’t mean to get too philosophical and sad; where I am has its own charms, among them the theatre family that sparked this whole post, and there are things I’d miss about here too.
But when I think of home and what it means to me, I can’t help seeing images like this in my mind’s eye--softly rolling mountains bathed radiant violet in the setting sun’s light, fading to misty periwinkle in the distance beneath pink clouds. If I could stick my face through the screen and breathe that crisp mountain air, take a sniff of those pretty flowers (phlox I think?)--well, my nose would already be deep in the screen, haha. When I mutter wistfully to myself “I miss home”, this is what I’m picturing. I love this gorgeous photo :)
Anyways, we open tonight, and two people dropped out of the show last minute so I’m going to be doing a quick change to a scene that I have only rehearsed with the other actress twice now, so... wish me luck and broken limbs!
Craftsman Deck in Denver Large craftsman outdoor kitchen deck idea with a pergola for the outdoor kitchen deck
One of the first things they ask you in the ER is to rate your pain on a scale from one to ten. I've been asked this question hundreds of times and I remember once when I couldn't catch my breath and it felt like my chest was on fire… the nurse asked meto rate the pain. Though I couldn't speak, I held up nine fingers. Later, when I started feeling better, the nurse came in and she called me a fighter."You know how I know?" she said. "You called a ten a nine." But that wasn't the truth. I didn't call it a nine because I was brave. The reason I called it a nine was because I was saving my ten. And this was it. This was the great and terrible ten.
-- Hazel (The Fault in Our Stars)
All Meditation is pretence without Love. All knowledge is shallow without Love. Infinite is the wealth of Love. Through Love one meets the Supreme Creator. All Dhyan [meditation] is pretence without Love. All knowledge is shallow without Love. All scriptures are sham without Love. Kaal [the lord of time/lord of death] and Karma are overcome by Love. Mana [mind] and Maya [illusion] are subdued by Love. Surat [the soul] ascends to higher regions by Love. Love dispels all evils. One is detached from world by Love. Refulgence within, one perceives by Love. Every heart overflows with Love. Most exalted is the glory of Love. All endeavours are in vain without Love. All activities are void without Love. One is redeemed by Love and Love alone.
Prem Bani Radhasoami, Volume 4, by Huzur Maharaj
काममय एवायं पुरुष इति। स यथाकामो भवति तत्क्रतुर्भवति। यत्क्रतुर्भवति तत्कर्म कुरुते। यत्कर्म कुरुते तदभिसंपद्यते॥
You are what your deep, driving desire is As your desire is, so is your will As your will is, so is your deed As your deed is, so is your destiny
Upanishads | बृहदारण्यकोपनिषद | Verse 5
Science is constantly proved all the time. If we take something like any fiction, any holy book, and destroyed it, in a thousand years’ time that wouldn’t come back just as it was. Whereas if we took every science book and every fact and destroyed them all, in a thousand years they’d all be back, because all the same tests would be the same result.
Ricky Gervais