( I Don't Think She'll Know How To Handle Him Wanting To Hang Out With Her As A Drinking Buddy. -laughs- ) - Blog Posts

@smiletorn continued from [ x ]

      When the young priestess agreed with his words – drunk or not, he found himself cringing a little. Why did he have to say it? Why had he sought her out to say it? Honestly, he couldn’t put two and two together.

      He was an idiot. That was true.

     He was emotional and irrational. He didn’t make his best choices based off of logic or anything – he did what he wanted to, and that’s what made him unreliable as the BRAVE of WIND. And, regardless of how hard he tried, he seemed like he couldn’t get any… better. He’d reached the peek of his skill and yet, his rivals all continued to grow. And with it, grew his own self-loathing. He enjoyed fighting. And to an extent, he was alright with losing. However, it seemed, more and more recently… all he ever did was lose. Again. And Again. And AGAIN. . .

      “… boring as fuck.” That was the only answer he had to Isanami’s comment: “What is life without some grief.”

      Kamanosuke enjoyed to lose to an extent. Pain was more then acceptable. The B r a v e of W i n d was an oddball like that. “But that doesn’t mean ya don’t regret it. Most people fuckin’ do. Why the hell… am I even here anymore?”

      Drunk Kamanosuke wasn’t very fun – in fact? He couldn’t help but obsess a little. Why was he here anymore? Was it still to beat Saizou? Because that wasn’t a dream in his reach anymore. Saizou kept getting stronger and stronger. The best outcome he could wish for at this point was Saizou killing him. But, at this point, the BRAVE of LIGHT and him barely had time to spar anymore… and Saizou kept shining brighter and brighter, while his wind remained the same. “I can’t… do what I wanted to do. I can’t even figure this shit out. I’m still mad. I can’t get revenge on him, and all I can do nowadays is pick on you… and… shit, even you’re getting stronger. What about me, though? I can’t… do shit. I haven’t done shit.”

      Surprisingly, tears were beginning to show up in the former Bandit’s eyes now.

       At this point – he recognized that he was weighing the team down a bit. Everyone was improving except him, and? As soon as a situation arose, it would only take moments for even their LORD to realize he wasn’t worth his weight in a fight anymore. Perhaps it was time for him to take his show on the road again. . . “If you someday surpass me, what the hell am I supposed to do about that? I-I –“ he hiccups then, pulling his legs to his chest once she’d jabbed at his forehead. An action that he barely acknowledged. His self-loathing was strong together. “Fuck, I should just go. I’m not… changing anymore. I’m not growing anymore. Why am I here still?”

      G’luck Isanami. He’s in a bit of a spiral of self-loathing. Drunk Kamanosuke has one of two moods – ether everyone is his friend and he wants more alcohol. Or? He hates himself and everything else. Today is the later.