Ladies and gentlemen and everyone in between, I present to you... Why I think this song sounds like Dazai :D
I hold this song dear to my heart so I mainly made this post to get more people to listen to it, but I also wanted to yap about Dazai, so I guess I'm killing two birds with one stone here??? Anyways, I shall explain my point :D
Warning : this is straight up nonsense from start to finish and kinda long too (~10 min read)
So, the song starts with a rythmic chord sequence played at a medium tempo that kinda goes "dum da... da dum da... da", accompanied by a lighter, airy melody, both played on an acoustic guitar. There are also some eerie chimings in the background. When I listen to it, two images pop up in my mind:
The first one is that of a sailboat in the middle of the ocean sailing against the waves. This is because of the steady rythm, which, coupled with the melody, creates this impression of a boat going up and down the waves as it crashes against the hull. Meanwhile, the bell sounds give this feeling of large, empty space, which gave me the idea of the boat being stranded in the middle of the sea. If you can visualise this, then you'd probably also notice that the skies are covered and that the ocean seems pretty dull, almost grey – in other terms, this looks like a pretty bleak setting, right?
Now, let's say there is a sailor on board. What would you feel if you were in their place? Loneliness? Despair? Perhaps, a semblance of peace? It's hard to tell, right? This is how I feel about Dazai's character, personally. Let's say that we, as the audience, are people on land and that Dazai is the sailor stranded in the middle of the sea. Admitting we had a pretty good eyesight, all we would see is the boat floating in the faraway distance, and the bleak skies above it, looking almost like annoucing a storm. I think our first instinct would be to pity the man on board, or just be indifferent. If we were to pity him, we would surely think something like "This situation looks scary, the poor man must be terrified" or "This man sure seems lonely". But perhaps the man has already accepted his fate and we're worrying for nothing. Perhaps, the man sailed out in the storm on purpose. He could be feeling anything, really, but all we see is a boat stranded in the middle of the sea, with a storm that's approaching.
The second image is that of a lonely person walking through a crowd. The steady rythm creates this image of a person walking alone, while the melody, which makes the strumming seem syncopated, tells us our guy who's walking is having a hard time with it, as if he's stumbling or getting hit by other passers-by, which means that said passers-by don't care that much about our guy or don't even notice him. And the chimings once again create this feeling of a large space, so we can imagine this person is walking through a crowd, which would explain the people bumping into him non-stop. The reason why this made me think of Dazai is because, ultimately, he's always alone, and he will always be. He will come across many people in his life, but no one will stop and take a look at him. And he knows that. He knows that he will never meet someone like Oda again, but he has to go on, which is why he keeps walking through the crowd.
This section was the most important as it sets the tone for the rest of the song.
Now, skipping the first verses and moving directly onto the chorus section, I'd like to point out one thing : the addition of a synth. I find that it adds a little something to our picture, whether it's the boat one or the crowd one, which is tension. See, tension is an important part in music in order to tell a story, or to bring a picture to life.
Here, this tension manifests as some sort of antagonist pressuring our sailor/wanderer. In the case of the sailor, it could be strong wind, which almost tips his boat over, and in the case of the wanderer, a large or strong person who inadvertedly pushes him and sends him rolling on the ground. In either case, it leaves our character pretty shaken, but as the music continues, they also have to get up and move on. Well, I have vision mostly because of the lyrics, which say "Parfois on regarde les choses telles qu'elles sont en se demandant pourquoi, parfois on les regarde telles qu'elles pourraient être en se disant pourquoi pas," which basically translates to "Sometimes we look at things the way they are and ask ourselves why, sometimes we look at things the way they could have been and think, why not after all." It's such a simple sentence, and yet, it holds so much beauty and meaning. In the context of our analysis, I think it overall perfectly reflects Dazai's resolution to join the good side and his efforts to change after Oda's death. Even though there are moments when he trips and finds himself questionning the purpose of his journey, he has Oda's words to guide him towards the right path and hold onto.
Once more, I'm skipping the second verse (cuz there's not much of note) to directly talk about the second chorus. One of the many aspects of this song that I really love is how it keeps on adding more instruments as it goes on, and here, the new addition is an oboe. If listen carefully, you can notice that it plays a melody that kinda sounds like a downward spiral, which adds more to the conflict. Whether it be the growing despair of the sailor as he can't find his way back to the land or the panic of our wanderer as he keeps getting pushed around in the crowd, the main feeling here is that nothing is fine anymore. Coincidentally, the voice of the singer seems a bit more tired, a bit more desperate as she repeats the chorus. I like to think of this part as spiraling into despair as things seem more hopeless. Falling back into depression as everything seems to lose its meaning. This part is followed by a brieve yet beautiful intrumental break where trumpets are thrown into the mix, playing some sort of blues-ish melody, which really cements this feeling of hopelessness.
Finally, when it transitions into the third verse, you can notice that all the instruments are gone, leaving only the steady guitar rythm from the beginning to accompany the singer who's now whispering. Oddly enough, this part feels very quiet, almost fragile, as if the singer is exposing her vulnerability as despair wins over her. So, the 2nd chorus followed by the instrumental break then the third verse give off this impression of falling into despair, which I interpret as Dazai's worsening depression as he spent more time in the Port Mafia, or maybe his overall mental state. Dazai is a very mysterious character after all, and there's no real way of knowing what's going on in his head.
After that, the instruments come back for the next verse before going into the third and final chorus, which is similar to the second one. However, there's a last section of interest here, which is the outro, which is the exact same as the intro (except for the addition of a melody played on the oboe in the background). After all this journey, we're back to our starting point, and yet, everything feels heavier after everything we've gone through. After taking a few more steps, or drifting for a little longer if we're talking about the boat, the journey abruptly comes to an end. The ambiguous ending of the song leaves room for many interpretations of the scenarios which we came up with, but the one I prefer is the one where the sailor/wanderer simply... disappears.
After going through their trials, the wanderer/sailor had one final thing to do: leave. So maybe the wanderer disappeared into the crowd, never to be seen again. Maybe he got home safely. Maybe something darker happened to him. Maybe the sailor drifted into the horizon, and found himself a new home. Maybe he starved to death on the boat. Maybe he got caught in the storm and drowned. Whatever happened, the wanderer/sailor's story is over, and it's time for them to leave the stage so a new story can unfold. I thought that it was a very poetic ending for someone like Dazai, to vanish into thin air and be forgotten by the world, just as he wished. To slowly fade away from the focus, until something more interesting happens, so he fade into the background more peacefully.
Anywaysss this was my little delulu yappology session TYSM if you made it till the end and I hope you enjoyed it :D
Also, here are the translated lyrics of the if you are interested ehhehehe:
There's a painting over there
Of birds, their wingspreads
That struggle against the wind
There are edges over there
The distances, your pace
When you're walking right ahead
There are cracks over there
Sealed, the locks
Like kites, taken off
There's literature over there
The lack of momentum
Inertia, movement
Sometimes we look at things
The way they are
Asking ourselves why
Sometimes, we look at them
The way they could have been
Telling ourselves, why not?
There is over there
If we take the time
If we take the time
There's literature over there
The lack of momentum
Inertia, movement
Sometimes we look at things
The way they are
Asking ourselves why
Sometimes, we look at them
The way they could have been
Telling ourselves, why not?
There are the mysteries over there,
The silence under the sea
That fight against time
There are edges over there
The distances, your pace
When you're walking right ahead
There's the whispering
A sigh, an adventure
Just as tangled kites
There's literature over there
The lack of momentum
Inertia, movement
Sometimes we look at things
The way they are
Asking ourselves why
Sometimes, we look at them
The way they could have been
Telling ourselves, why not?
Sometimes we look at things
The way they are
Asking ourselves why
Sometimes, we look at them
The way they could have been
Telling ourselves, why not?
Doesn't this song sound a bit like Dazai?