Masky: remember that game in elementary school where each person would say one word and the next person would say a word etc so it would create a cohesive story? Let’s do that.
Masky: Two
Ej: thousand
Lj: men
Toby: ate
Ben: their
Jeff: dicks
Masky: Game's over
Masky: How much is rent for this fantastic apartment?
Employ: Sir, this is the liquor aisle of the grocery store...
Slenderman: I just saw a bunch of dead bodies in the yard.
Slenderman: Do you have anything to do with that, Jeff?
Jeff: Why do you always automatically assume it's me?
Slenderman: ...
Jeff: ....
Jeff: Alright it was me!
Jeff: If the opposite of 'pro' is 'con'
Jeff: And the opposite of 'progress' is 'congress'
Jeff: Then the opposite of Constitution is p-
Ej: Let me stop you right there
Hoodie: People who sleep with their phone on silent don't care about anything in life.
Hoodie: It's me
Hoodie: I'm people
Toby: *screaming angrily*
Masky: *screaming back*
Ej, walking in: .... What are they doing?
Hoodie: They're blaming each other for eating all the snacks when it was actually me.
*Knock at his door*
Masky: I hope it's death.
Toby: *sneezes*
Jack under the table: Shut the fuck up.
Toby, looking around: God?
Toby: I hate brushing my teeth at night because that signifies that you can't have any more food and I'm just never ready for that kind of commitment
*Jeff and Sally set the kitchen on fire*
Jeff: FUCK WE NEED AN ADULT!
Sally: Jeff you are the adult!
Jeff: OH FUCK!
Jeff: WE NEED AN ADULTIER ADULT, CALL SLENDERMAN!
Eyeless jack, trying awkwardly to make small talk: So, are there any lucky women in your life?
Ticci toby, very seriously: Tell me every aspect of my personality that made you think I was straight so I can change it immediately.
Ticci toby: *tickles masky*
masky: *Punches toby in the arm* Stop that.
ticci toby: I was just tickling you! When you get married your husband will probably do the same, would you punch him?”
masky: I’ll have you know I will let my future husband know to NEVER tickle me. I will tell him within the first three dates, I will make him SIGN A CONTRACT that says if he tickles me I WILL PERSONALLY DESTROY HIM WITH MY BARE HANDS. I WILL MAKE HIM VOW ON OUR WEDDING DAY IN FRONT OF HIS FAMILY THAT HE WILL NEVER. EVER. TICKLE ME.
ticci toby: ...
Slenderman: I have to ground you. I am grounding you. You are grounded.
Masky: What about work?
slenderman: Fine. Other work. And no TV.
Masky: My TV's broken.
Slenderman: Then no computer.
Masky: I need the computer for school.
Slenderman: Then no... uh...
[Glances at Hoodie]
slenderman: No Hoodie.
Masky: What?! No Hoodie?!
slenderman: NO Hoodie!
Hoodie: If a demon possessed me, I’d just say oh cool take it from here and good luck
Liu: My seduction style is genuinely caring about your life and just wanting you to be happy
Eyeless jack: Do you ever just get the urge to tell someone to shut up even if they’re not talking
Jeff: Can pushing people away be considered a talent because I think I’m a natural
Ticci toby: When I become a serial killer I'll leave tapes that have 'Mmm Whatcha Say' in the mouths of all of my victims.
masky: "When.
Ben: Would you fuck a clone of yourself?
Ticci toby: Yes.
Masky: No.
Eyeless jack: I don't want to fuck my clone because it would be gay sex and I'm not gay.
Jane: I'm not gay, but I would totally fuck my clone.
hoodie: I'm gay, but I still don't want to fuck my clone, that's gross and weird.
Laughing jack: I don't want to fuck my clone because my self-loathing is that strong.
Nina: I'd totally want to fuck my clone because I want to know if I'm good in bed.
bloody painter: I'd fuck my clone because who would know better how to fuck me than me?
Homicidal liu: I'd totally do all sorts of weird things to my clone I'd be embarrassed to ask someone else to do.
Jason: To be honest, fucking my clone has always been my fantasy.
Puppeteer: It's basically the same thing as masturbating, right? So no big deal.
Dollmaker: It's not the same as masturbating, it'd be like having sex with your twin — wrong and bad!
Clockwork: I would not have sex with my clone because what if my clone is evil?
Jeff the killer: Not only would I have sex with my clone, I'd probably make a bunch of clones and just get it on with all of them at once because that's how pro-clone fucking I am.
slendeman: You guys are nasty and I'm frankly a little concerned.
Masky: No running in the hallway!
Eyeless jack: Huh? What are you talking about?
hoodie, writing a ticket: Masky, is this maggot giving you lip?
Masky: We’re the new hall monitors.
Hoddie: [sticks a ticket to Ej’s head with gum]
Masky: If we catch you speeding again, you’re going downtown! We already locked up Toby for telling bad jokes.
Ticci toby, in a cardboard jail cell: Hey! Did you hear the one about the thief who stole a calendar? He got twelve months!
Ticci Toby, laughing: Get it?
Masky: That’s five more minutes, dirt bag!
Eyeless jack: Okay, okay. I’ll walk within the speed limit. I swear.
Hoodie: NO SWEARING!
CLockwork: Jane you need a hobby
Jane: I have a hobby
Clockwork: How many times do I have to tell you that stalking and planning Jeff's demise is not a hobby
Jeff: Have you seen my life jack? I can't find it
eyeless jack: Kind of like your parents
Jeff:...
Jeff: Okay first of all FUCK YO-
Sally: Can we have birthday cake?
Slenderman: It's not even your birthday
Sally: The cake won't know that
Eyeless jack: You're so handsome helen
Helen: no need to be jealous, you're also handsome
Eyeless jack: I wasn't being jealous I was being gay
Eyeless jack: t's a white flag, you might as well start giving up
Jeff: The only thing I'll be waving is your decapitated head on a stick in front of your weeping mother.
Ben::o
Eyeless jack: the fuc-
Sally: Here's a list of things that's wrong with you
Liu: There's nothing on it?
sally: I know, here's a hug
Ticci toby: can you give me directions to the olive garden?
Ben: Why not just cultivate our own garden?
Ticci toby: That seems rational
eyeless jack in the background: ....no....
Ticci toby: It was the best of memes, it was the worst of memes
Masky: ....
Jeff the killer:[running around hysterically]
Maksy: Stop running!
Masky: You’re not a freak!
Masky: You’re just stupid!
Jeff the killer: I never brag
eyeless jack: you once called yourself ‘proof of god’s existence’
Ticci toby: Slenerman, we need more laundry sauce.
Slenderman: More what?
Ticci toby: You know, like the stuff you use to wash clothes.
Slenderman: You mean detergent?
Ticci toby: Yeah, but it’s more sauce for clothes, you know?
Slenderman: You’re not allowed to say words anymore.
Ticci toby: Music is just wriggling air
Masky: Toby, please stop
Ticci toby: Funerals are just family reunions with one less person in it.
Masky: No, stop don’t do this to me
Ticci toby: What if “raining men” and “let the bodies hit the floor” are both the same event but from different perspectives?
Masky: I’m begging you to stop
Ben drowned: No let him continue
Jeff the killer:DATING TIP! Hold the door for your date. Rip the door off it’s hinges. Use the door as a weapon to fight off other men. ESTABLISH YOUR DOMINANCE!!!
Eyeless jack: I can see now why you’re still single