Incorrect Genshin Impact - Blog Posts

I can't

Itto: bro she’s online

Itto: what do i do??

Heizou: send nudes

Itto: u first

Heizou: ?

Heizou: send it to HER

Itto: oh my bad

Venti: so apparently it’s still a dui even if you’re the birthday boy

Xiangling: my hungry ass couldn’t be a brain surgeon 💀💀

Chongyun: what do you mean? what do you mean by that?

Barbara, to some Random: remember that Barbatos is always watching 💞

Venti: *literally so fucked up he forgot how to breathe automatically*

Paimon: do you think you could take Albedo?

Kaeya: fuck yeah…

Kaeya: oh you mean like in a fight?

Yanfei: 18 unfinished case assignments and one day to do them. i think my only option is to go missing under mysterious circumstances

Childe: i can help

Yanfei: it’s alright! majority of these are for one specific case, so i can probably finish them. thank you though!

Childe: i meant help you go missing under mysterious circumstances

*On Twitter*

Fischl: “triggers can be anything” until the trigger is like literallly anything

Heizou: whew this blew up follow me for more bangers 🔥

Fischl: WHO R U??

Chongyun: when i was younger Xingqiu told me that the paper strip that’s in chocolate kisses were edible, and i ate them with the chocolate for like a year

Hu Tao: they are!!

Chongyun: wait for real?

Hu Tao: why would you believe this again 😔😔😔

Fatui gift exchange

Scaramouche: okay so if anyone draws their own name, we’ll all draw again

Dottore: cool

Signora: okay

Childe: what if we draw someone else’s name?

Dottore: that’s fine right? yeah

Scaramouche: that’s good, that’s what we want

Signora: what if we pick someone that we don’t like?

Childe: it’s just the four of us. do you dislike one of the four of us?

Signora: no no no. *nods her head and points to childe*

Childe: …what if we pick someone who we don’t know?

Signora: yeah what if we get a slip and it’s like Albedo Krendinprinz from Mondstat?

Scaramouche: that will not happen

Dottore: how can you be sure though?

Signora: i like Albedo well enough i just would have no idea what to get him for a gift

Scaramouche: okay so there’s only four names and it’s our four names so everyone just pick one and-

Signora: i’m worried that if i get Albedo the wrong thing, he’ll think that i’m a loser

Childe: aw really? you’re worried about that?

Signora: i’m serious i’m nervous about it

Childe: i’m sure you’ll get him the perfect thing

Signora: thanks that means a lot

Childe: i wouldn’t say it if i didn’t mean it

Scaramouche: does everyone have a slip? did anyone pick themself?

Signora: i got Childe

Scaramouche: no don’t-

Childe: i got Dottore

Dottore: guys! it’s suppose to be secret

Scaramouche: thank you!

Dottore: you’re not suppose to look at the name

Childe: ohhh

Scaramouche: well you’re allowed to- you can read your own slip

Dottore: oh. okay i got Scaramouche

Scaramouche: dude

Signora: i wish i would’ve gotten Scaramouche

Childe: what the hell?!

Signora: i don’t know if this is coming together

Dottore: i’m probably just going to get a gift for Albedo Krendinprinz from Mondstat to be safe

Childe: since my slip says Dottore does that mean he’s the one who helps me figure out what to get Albedo Krendinprinz from Mondstat?

Itto: wanna play 20 questions?

Gorou: no not really

Itto: okay just ask me a question

Gorou: but i just-

Gorou: uh okay, do you have any pet peeves?

Itto: yeah i got a cow

Itto: wanna kiss?

Venti: everyone u meet is fighting a battle u know nothing about. be kind ❤️

Diluc: i once saw you punch a girl scout for not having thin mints

Venti: exactly. that was my battle. so be kind

Beidou: a woman’s place is on the battlefield

Childe: oh so you think women should die

Beidou: funny how you immediately assumed the women would lose the battle…… misogynistic much?

Childe: you’re right i will reflect on my behavior. sorry women

Chongyun: oh, auntie. you’re late

Shenhe: yes i’m sorry. i was doing… things

Xingqiu: SHE PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS

Ninnguang: as much as i appreciate you asking me out, did we have to take shenhe as well?

Beidou: you get me to yourself all the time. she’s lonely!

Shenhe, talking to the waiter: you’re telling me a shrimp fried this rice?

Kaeya: you know what would be sexy?

Kaeya: eating food off each other

Albedo: you did not do the dishes

Kaeya: i did not

Childe: zhongli and i have been fighting lately

Childe: how do you deal with arguments between you and ningguang?

Beidou: me and my bitch don’t argue

Beidou: she tells me to shut up and i do

Traveler: you ever get so tired you start seeing hilicurls

Bennett: me after i eat 17 weird colored berries and start seeing the hat man

Traveler: THE WHO??

Bennett: oh this is not a safe space suddenly

Signora: hey

Scaramouche: what the fuck

Childe: didn’t you die??

Signora: that was weeks ago dude. things change

Ei: your name... is kunikuzushi. it means ‘country destroyer’. i hope you-

Scaramouche: *becomes evil*

Ei: well i don’t know how that could’ve happened

Itto, playing basketball: this ones for you, traveler

Traveler: oh no you really don’t have to-

Itto: *shoots and misses*

Genshin Characters as ‘Would you still love me if I was a worm’

Xiangling:

Childe:

Kaeya:

Ayaka:

Xiao:

Venti:

Thoma:

Albedo:

Chongyun:

Xingqiu:

Paimon: your smug self assuredness is revolting

Childe: i think we need to validate self confidence more, lest you end up angry at others for having even a sliver of it. i did nothing wrong and i have a heart of gold

Traveler: i think this message is extremely valid but also childe has tried to drown liyue so what’s the truth

Childe: i was so close too

Xingqiu: chongyun isn’t messaging me back... i hope i haven’t done something to upset him

Chongyun, on twitter: how do u spell gorjus

Xiangling: it’s gorojeous 💞

Chongyun: thank u

Albedo: i’m going to bed

Kaeya: Goodnight Daddy Sleep Well Have A Sweet Dream Fuck A Bed Bug 😫😫😫💯💯💯🔥🔥🔥👌👌👌

Albedo: why are you like this

Traveler, about Scaramouche: i can fix him

Childe: yeah? well i can accept him as he is. you don’t like the murder? grow up. the atrocities are part of him and i’ve decided they’re funny.

Xingqiu: you may have chemistry with her, but you have history with me

Chongyun: you got your class schedule already?

Xiao: thank you for engaging in the mortifying ordeal of being known so that i may partake in the euphoric experience of knowing you

Venti: do you practice this shit or do you come up with it on the spot

Venti: apparently the “bad vibes” ive been feeling are actually severe psychological distress