Incorrect Genshin Impact - Blog Posts
Xingqiu: guess what number im thinking of
Xiangling: 420
Xingqiu: no, that’s really immature of you. someone else guess and please take this seriously
Chongyun: 69?
Xingqiu: yeah it was 69
Childe: i went through an entire character arc during quarantine
Childe: i became more evil if you’re curious
Traveler: we’re still in quarantine, don’t worry, there’s time for a redemption arc still!
Childe: im going to get worse on purpose
Childe: barbecue time! i have steaks, chicken, beef patties, and sausage what do you want?
Ganyu: im vegan
Childe: try the guillotine
Xingqiu: you get turned back into a baby but retain all your skills and memory, what do you do?
Razor: eat a nickel
Xingqiu: a reminder: you have retained all your skills and memory
Razor: eat a nickel
Xingqiu: ok
Amber: my mom kept all our baby teeth but she didn’t separate them so there’s just a box she had with like three sets of random teeth mixed around
Bennett: my dad kept the dog’s baby teeth but not mine
Xiangling: okay im so sorry this isn’t actually funny but it’s like really funny im so sorry
Childe: what the fuck dogs lose their teeth? also who the fuck keeps baby teeth thats horrific
Razor: my dad kept my baby teeth. and then my second set fell out so i kept those in a little bag and now we both have have a set of my baby teeth
Albedo: wait what? how many sets of teeth do you have im so confused?
Razor: i had three sets of teeth. the dentist said it was fine cause nothing grew out of place but it was weird cause i had them for a few years then they started all coming out at once
Albedo: im sorry you grew teeth like a shark? what?
Chongyun: when i was younger i watched my babysitter take a plastic bag containing her baby teeth and crush them all into a powder under the leg of a chair cause she was bored
Xingqiu: excuse me?
Traveler: this entire conversation was like getting punched repeatedly, but from a different angle each time
Paimon: could you be any more annoying
Venti: easily
Childe: once i master the bow it’s over for you bitches
Xingqiu: you have beautiful eyes
Chongyun: thanks i need them to see
Jean: you have the right to remain silent
Venti: but do i have the ability?
Diluc: i have been told that i'm too negative and hostile towards kaeya. so kaeya, if my tweets have offended you, i humbly apologize. i honestly didn't think you could read
Venti, strumming his lyre:
Paimon: do you take requests?
Venti: sure!
Paimon: please stop
Kaeya: hey how do you like this picture i painted
Diluc: do you accept constructive criticism
Kaeya: sure
Diluc: it fucking sucks
Kaeya: that wasn’t constructive criticism
Bennett: <3
Razor: how did you type that
Bennett: oh it’s < + 3
Razor: nevermind i got it
Razor: Ɛ>
Bennett: what the fuck
Kaeya: nice ass sorry about the mental illness
Albedo: thank you king
Kaeya: jesus, diluc! what would you have told mom if i’d died?!
Diluc: hey mom, i have good news and bad news. good news, we’ve finally got room for that 🎵jacuzzi you wanted🎵
Door dash texts with Genshin Impact characters
Chongyun:
Venti:
Bennett:
Childe:
Razor:
Beidou:
Childe: YEAH SONNNNNNN
Zhongli: daddy
Childe: what the fuck
Zhongli: you called me son and i panicked
Mona giving a tarot reading: i don’t know what’s going on here. like i just keep getting “the fool” over and over again? every card i pull. the whole deck is just “the fool” now. which shouldn’t even be physically possible.
Chongyun, a fucking fool: figures
Diluc: y’all still beat your meat lol
Kaeya: well what do you beat?
Diluc: evildoers
Childe: just gonna start killing people i don’t find funny
Scaramouche: national suicide prevention hotline
Childe: shut the fuck up
Venti: octopi could hug four people simultaneously, because they are blessed with this ability. however, they don’t even hug one person because they have made covenant with evil. any questions?
Barbara: where is our regular pastor?
Venti: in a better place now sit down immediately
The Traveler after getting Geo abilities: im a nice person but im about to start throwing rocks at people
Childe: i hope you get run over
Scaramouche: hoping is all well and good, but ultimately, it gets you nowhere. be the change you wish to see in the world. get in your car and run me the fuck down instead of waiting for others to do your work for you, you coward. you lazy fool.
Xiangling: do you think i could fit fifteen marshmellows in my mouth?
Chongyun: you’re a hazard to society
Xingqiu: and a coward. do twenty
Childe: do you know how many bones the human body has? its 206. we start with 369 when we’re babies but they fuse. wouldn’t you want to go back? have as many bones as a baby? what if i could help you
The Traveler: hi yeah what the actual, literal, genuine FUCK does this mean
I want a baby meme with genshin characters part 2:
Kaeya:
Zhongli:
Scaramouche:
Razor:
I want a baby meme with genshin characters:
Childe:
Xingqiu:
Chongyun:
Barbara:
Diluc:
Beidou:
Amber:
Xiangling:
Mona:
Jean:
Diluc: bitch
Kaeya: blocked
Diluc: wait unblock me i need to tell you something
Kaeya: unblocked
Diluc: bitch
Scaramouche: can someone come bail me out? i just got arrested for being too irritating.
Childe: on my way!
Childe: can someone come bail me out :(
Scaramouche: good morning the tsaritsa has let me live another day and im about to make it everyone’s problem