Bakugou: Hey, do you want to go out to dinner with me?
Kirishima: Ah, sorry, i didn't mean that out loud
Bakugou: ¿?
Kirishima:
Kirishima: WAIT
Kirishima: YOU ASKED THAT?
Bakugou: Eijiro?
Kirishima: yes love?
Bakugou: what are you doing.
Kirishima: giving you a hug darlin’
Bakugou: then why are both of your hands directly on my ass.
Kirishima: they are? didn’t notice.
Kirishima: look, let's just agree to say sorry on the count of three
Kirishima: one, two, three
Bakugou:
Kirishima:
Kirishima: see, now i'm just disappointed in the both of us
Bakugou: you’re giving me a shit sticker?
Kirishima: not just a sticker. it's a sticker of a kitty saying "me-wow!"
Bakugou: i’m not a preschooler
Kirishima: fine, i’ll take it back
Bakugou: i earned this. back off
Kirishima: hell yeah i'm into bdsm
Bakugou: hah?
Kirishima: big dogs snuggling me!
Bakugou: ah...
kirishima: *waking up* ...where am i?
Bakugou: *sarcastically* heaven
Kirishima: oh
Kirishima: didn’t think you’d be here
Bakugou: fuck, it’s dark
Kirishima: don’t worry babe, i got this
Kirishima: *stomps his foot so his fantasy skechers light up*
Kirishima: i made a marshmallow Bakugou. see? his arms are crossed because he's mad at all the other marshmallow people for annoying him. you like it?
Bakugou: *choked up* it's fine
Bakugou: Ei, we have to talk about-
Kirishima: i'm pregnant!
Bakugou: -this afternoon's training. what the hell?
Kirishima: i panicked
Bakugou: hey shitty hair, do any sounds scare you?
Kirishima real or imaginary?
Bakugou: *curiously* let’s go with imaginary...
Kirishima: a spider with crocs
Bakugou:
Bakugou: not sure where exactly to start with that shit
Bakugou: what're you looking at?
Kirishima: *entering his and Katsuki name into an online love calculator* porn
Bakugou: *swimming during the beach cycle* out here living my fucking best life
Kirishima: Deku is drowning
Bakugou: this ain’t about him
*kiri lying on top of katsuki*
Bakugou: you're heavy as fuck, shitty hair
Kirishima: do you want me to move??
Bakugou: no *look away flushed*
Bakugou: i can't believe this
Kirishima: what?
Bakugou: that you'd do this to me
Kirishima: what did i d–
Bakugou: you're being cute and idk if i want to punch you or kiss you because of it and i'm too gay to handle this right now, so you to stop.
Kirishima: don’t you fucking die!!
Bakugou : don’t tell me what to do
Kirishima: please, cure my sadness
Bakugou: *look at him with a frown*
Kirishima: *sighs* thanks
kirishima: this is my ex-boyfriend, Bakugou
Bakugou: stop introducing me like that...
Bakugou: i’m her husband
Kirishima: how do you ask a glass of water what it’s doing?
Bakugou: a glass of water is an inanimate object and therefore incapable of having a thought process, or understanding basic english
Kirishima:
Kirishima: water you doing?
Kirishima: wow your legs look great in those pants!
Bakugou: thanks you should see me without them
Kirishima:
Kirishima: why would you take off your legs
Girl: *sits*
Kirishima: *scoots away*
Girl: Hey, I don't bite. *smiles*
Bakugou: *slams hand down on the desk* I funckin do
Bakugou: when i asked you to bring me back something from the beach, i meant a seashell or something
Kirishima: *struggling to hold a seagull as it flaps wildly* WELL NEXT TIME SAY THAT
kirishima: so i'm thinking a spring wedding, or maybe a summer wedding. i don't want it to be too cold
Bakugou: what are you talking about??!?we're not even engaged
kirishima:
kirishima: so THAT'S what i forgot to do last night
[ bakugou's room ]
Kirishima: hey what is y’alls favorite holiday? mine’s christmas !!
Bakugou: the purge
Kirishima: name a way to be nice to others.
Bakugou: don’t kill them.
Kirishima: setting the bar a little low, but I’ll allow it.
Kirishima:*lying down* I really love lazy saturdays
Bakugou: it's wednesday
Kirishima: i love you, Bakugou
Bakugou: i love you more
Kirishima: no, i love you mo—
Bakugou: don't start a game you can't win, Ei
Bakugou: you have beautiful eyes
Kirishima:*panicking* o-oh thanks blasty, i need them to see
Kirishima: hey what does y/n mean?
Bakugou: your name
Kirishima: *reading* kirishima looked into bakugou’s eyes..
Bakugou: Remember in elementary school when people would say every time you blinked, a bird would die ?
Kirishima: No ? Is that true ?
Bakugou: I mean technically- what are you doing ?
Kirishima: *eyes wide open* I refuse to let another bir- *blinks* FUCK
Bakugou: ...
Kirishima: Blasty, you’re like an angel with no wings.
Bakugou: so like a person.