Ineffable Divorce - Blog Posts
Good omens spoiler!!
So I saw a lot of people talking about the kissing scene, and I would like to share my thoughts. I think that the reason why Aziraphale says "I forgive you" is because he is afraid that the kiss is an attempt to tempt him and not to show him love. By the time of the kiss he has the mindset of heaven vs hell and he does not see Crowley as a separate side, but as a demon (we can see that when he says "you're the bad guys"). Because the kiss is so desperate and aggressive, he does not want to see the feelings Crowley wants to show him, but instead, he sees an act of demon trying to tempt him. He's trying to believe that this is the truth so he can go to heaven without any doubt. In the audio description, we can hear that Aziraphale is disappointed because he does not want to see the love Crowley is showing him. We can see that when they are kissing, angel is trying to kiss back, but chooses not to in the end so he could choose the 'greater good', which is fixing heaven. So that is my theory, I hope my English is not too bad
crowley avoiding the bookshop like it's consecrated ground is definitely one of my favourite options for how he deals with the break-up but have you considered the opposite?
he returns to tell muriel how to take care of it (don't sell books, get rid of customers, dust, drink tea, read, nothing else), and then he sinks back into his chair. it is still in the same spot as he put it while waiting for aziraphale to return, still catches as much of the sunlight throughout the day as possible, still smells like earl grey, and vanilla, and a hint of cinnamon.
still smells like his angel.
crowley sits down, takes off his shades and leaves them in their usual spot, and then he allows his human form to fade away until a smaller version of the serpent of eden is curled up on the cushions.
muriel knows, of course they do, and as their time on earth forces them to mature like it does with any celestial being staying for an extended amount of time, they ache for crowley. they make sure he's warm and protected, and that is all they really can do.
he doesn't quite sleep, it's more of a hibernation or whatever imitation he can manage, and he waits. maybe it's stupid, maybe it's hopeless, maybe it is useless optimism, but he has to cling to the possibility of aziraphale coming back for him.
crowley dreams of eden. damp earth and lush plants, sweet fruit and humming insects, and an angel offering kindness to someone who fell from grace
-
edit: continuation here
Welp, that's the most complicated one I've done so far! Hope you enjoy it♡
I'll always reblog divorced Crowley looking off into middle distance smoking a cigarette.
I mean it's practically required with a blog name like this.
My prediction for S3.
my attempt at a translation from the original Japanese, please forgive errors: -------------------------- That kiss.
It wasn't as sweet and melting as I thought it would be.
Well it's not like I don't think about it, sometimes. I've seen pairs of humans making love countless times. Indulging in sexual pleasure according to their desires.
I've been with him for an eternity, and I've known him for 6,000 years. Playful, mischievous. I've thought how fun it would be to kiss him, just to see his surprised face. But I... I can't joke about something like that. I am stupidly in love with him.
その口づけは
思っていたほど
甘く とろけるようなもの じゃなかったんだ
そりゃあ 何かの折に
考えなかった わけじゃあない
人間のつがいが 愛を交わすのを 数えきれないくらい 眼にしてきたんだ
欲望のままに 性のたのしみを 貪るのを
永劫の時を 過ごしてきて あいつとの付き合いも 6,000年だ
たわむれに、 いたずらっぽく、
あいつの驚く 顔が見たいがために
キスしてやったら どんなに 楽しいだろう と思ってた
だけど 俺は
そんなことを 冗談に 出来ないほどに
バカみたいに あいつのことを 愛しちまって いたんだよ
the rest is silence --------------------------
This is an illustration I did for @thescholarlystrumpet's fic "The Rest is Silence," which you can---nay, you must, go read on AO3. The Rest is Silence on AO3 (Explicit rating, sorry kids)
We did this collaboration as a part of GOAD's (@goodomensafterdark) ongoing Smut Wars so, this is not at all safe for work, but if you wanna risk it anyway, check out the full size under the jump.
i painted this
hi res art post coming soon to a tumblr blog near you @goodomensafterdark @thescholarlystrumpet
The Rest is Silence - Smut War fic!
art by Quona
Crowley’s hands are bound by a pale tartan bowtie, stretched above his mussed red crown of hair. His chest expands, lungs like bellows, exhaling hot bursts into the air of the empty shop. His jeans were miracled carelessly away to leave him straining in black silk pants. The Angel’s hands have not yet closed around their prize but it twitches in anticipation of their journey.
Aziraphale’s mouth is busy sucking lewd bruises into Crowley’s lean inner thigh. His thick fingers knead at the tight muscles as they flex, slung over his broad shoulders. The Angel’s shirt is unbuttoned where the tie sat moments before, sleeves rolled to the elbows. He is otherwise comparatively clothed. The bulge below his waist presses insistently, uncomfortably, at the seam of his trousers. But it is an afterthought, a mere distraction.
The ache of his arousal is an aperitif and the Demon spread out on the desktop is the meal.
READ ON AO3
oh, but can you imagine what they could have had?
a starmaker bubbling over with joy, a demon questioning god on the walls of eden. a being who fell in love with an angel, fearing heaven and hell but fighting them anyway because that's what is right, what is decent. because that is who he is.
that demon would have spoken 'i love you' out-loud to his angel as soon as he heard humans using it. that crowley would have loved openly, unashamed, willing to stand between aziraphale and their worlds.
but aziraphale couldn't do any of that, and so he carried the weight of his silence on his shoulders because there is nothing worse than loneliness, is there? i love him, we're not alone, it has to be enough.
eventually, he thought, he will be able to stand hearing me say it. that day never came, and what happened?
a demon who hides behind sarcasm and pretence because he learned that is how the world, how aziraphale, wants him. a demon that never speaks of his true feelings, a demon that never admits to love, a demon that submits to an angel's will because he cannot lose him, because he refuses to lose him, no matter how high the price.
finally, he thought that day. finally i can tell him. finally we can stop pretending, finally I can stop hiding.
then aziraphale accepted an offer and after six thousand years of hoping for more, he lost it all instead.
I hadn't posted this here then by all that has happened after the new season dropped as well as preventing some spoilers, but now that it ceased down, here are some ex-ineffable husbands sketch after watching S2 for the first time 🥲
I was describing and acting out the final fifteen to one of my friends who’s never seen the show, and said this back:
Aziraphale: I want you to come with me!!
Crowley: I want you to cum with me!!
And I feel like it practically summed up the ending.
I'm not crying, YOU are.
of daydreaming, codependency and non canon compliancy
I’ve never even had a breakup that was bad enough to cry to a breakup song but I’ll be damned if Aziraphale and Crowley don’t make me want to cry to them anyway
Instead of doing the apology dance, Aziraphale should do a reenactment of Colleen Ballinger’s apology in Season 3 because I’d honestly watch it
if i had a nickel for every time a gay show gave me a gay kiss before ruining my gay life…
id have two nickels. which isn’t alot but its FUCKING DEVASTATING THAT ITS HAPPENED TWICE
This😭
Quick comic to get out my FEELINGS I want to THROW UP Neil
Aziraphale understands suffering only as an opportunity to show how "good" you are. He doesn't understand the suffering itself because he has not experienced it. Even though he's been on Earth for thousands of years, he has never had the displeasure of actually going through the negatives of the human experience. Angels don't age and die. Angels don't need money or shelter or food. In his mind, the worst things angels face are strongly worded letters. Smacks on the wrist because, of course, their whole being is good, but everyone makes little, harmless mistakes sometimes.
He has spent his time among the humans appreciating the positive aspects of life- the fine food and drink, the art, the creation and beauty and COMFORT. He has witnessed human suffering- but he only absorbs the after effects when they're in line with his beliefs. The coming together, rising above, the triumph! They got through in the end, they proved how GOOD they are! These poverty stricken people, slaves and serfs, can rise above the system and succeed if only they are good enough. I don't think he thinks too deeply on why the people that don't get dealt good cards still have to suffer. It probably never even actually crossed his mind beyond- "Well, that is the Great Plan." And I think to him that means, the good are rewarded and the angels are the goodest of all, so we get to live in Heaven and show the right path to the pitiful humans who have to choose between Good and Evil. Except sometimes he has to face the moral grays that suffering implies, like with Elbeth in the graveyard episode. When her only friend in the whole world dies, I think Aziraphale might've secretly had a moment of
"Ah, well, there is your punishment for doing wrong."
Because he just doesn't get it. He's carrying around enough money to buy a farm. He's not human- he doesn't feel angry emptiness eating away at his guts. Every occupation is just a way of whittling away your time to him. Money is an afterthought. Money is for the idolation of material things that he tries to ignore in himself. "Why don't you start a bookshop? Farm?" He had to think of things other people do for money, and he wasn't thinking of what she'd be able to do. "Sew?"
When Maggie can't pay the rent, of course it's no problem. Why would it be a problem- he likes Maggie, Maggie is good. She loves that shop and she's sharing the music he loves with the world (and him). Benevolent- if a human was doing it. Selfish, really, of an angel. He's had thousands of years to collect money and treasures (that he doesn't even need) to rise in status. But he doesn't see it that way. He gets to live unfretted and collect and cherish for thousands of years because he is fundamentally better than the humans. But he wouldn't say that. Maybe not even think it. He just knows it in the back of his mind without having to put words to the thought. And at the same time, he feels guilty. But not for anything I've mentioned. He knows he is indulgent and in love with all the sinful pleasures of humanity. He knows he's in love with Crowley. But it is only because of the temptation of a demon. It's not his fault. On the other hand, it's not Crowley's fault that it's in his nature to tempt- that he's Evil. That is the extent he understands moral grays. So it's no one's fault, and there's no need to dwell on it. And all of this twisted up nonsense is why Crowley is so good for him. He keeps on trying to show him the other side. First the pleasures, then the pains. Crowley loves humanity too, but he has a better understanding of its depth that came from his questioning nature and his fall. He wants Aziraphale to understand and accept the whole of humanity- the whole of him. Which is what makes their romantic relationship so heartbreaking. Because Aziraphale just doesn't get it.
Crowley slipped Aziraphale a RING during the kiss. I'm calling it now.
That was not Crowley's love confession, that was a proposal.
Crowley slipped him the ring during the kiss, Aziraphale rolls it around on his tongue to feel it, he realizes it's a ring and has an emotional reaction. But he still chooses to go to heaven anyways. When the Metatron comes to get him, he takes it out of his mouth and slips it into his pocket.
Shortly before Aziraphale steps into the elevator he turns to Crowley and the eord he mouths is 'Yes'.
I'm only half kidding here - I actively choose to believe in this to manage my emotions after the end of S2. We did not see an ineffable divorce, but an ineffable marriage.
Until S3 comes around and we learn more!
It's a 2-man Con
Listen, I think I know a thing.
When Aziraphale comes back from talking to the Metatron and is telling Crowley about being an angel, we've all heard the theory that he's speaking code, trying to ask for help. The more I look at that scene, the more that theory tracks.
Maybe less well-known is the theory that Crowley didn't miss a damn thing, he's answering in his own code. And again, the more I look at that scene, the more this also tracks.
(When my husband, annoyingly observant beloved partner that he is, saw the second season for the first time, he said, "That whole thing was a show for the Metatron. They have a plan. Crowley slipped something to Aziraphale when he kissed him." And I said, "Nah." But now I think he's right, and damn if he isn't smug.)
I'm gonna try to break down what I think they're saying here, because it takes just a hot minute to piece it together. I've been thinking this over for a couple of months now. I think I have most of it. I just don't know when Crowley puts whatever he's handing to Aziraphale in his own mouth. I need more eagle-y eyes, it seems.
First, Aziraphale comes back from his talk. He's pensive as he crosses the road, and anxious when he starts talking, and mouths "I need help!" as he's talking. He's acting like he does when he lies to the other angels, and once it's seen "I need help!" is pretty clear.
He does the whole thing about telling Crowley he could appoint him as an angel, like old times, but even nicer. It's all very uptight and not positive at all. My interpretation? "The Metatron is here, I think he knows we're up to something, we have to go to Heaven right now and put things right before he really does something awful to one or both of us. The time to spring the plan is NOW."
Crowley stares at him. At first it seems like he's staring in disbelief, but if you really look at his face, he's listening, hard, and interpreting as fast as he can:
He asks Aziraphale if he told the Metatron where he could stick it, then. My interpretation? "The plan has changed. I can't go with you to Heaven. You'll have to go alone."
Then Crowley starts his confession -- "We've spent our existence pretending we aren't."
Aziraphale looks at him -- not with shock, or surprise, or love, or hope, but with a "Why are you doing this now?" face. Not "Why did you wait til now to tell me, you love me, oh, I love you too!" But "Why are you telling me SOMETHING I ALREADY KNOW while our ENEMY IS LISTENING??" :
He's confused, but also listening and interpreting. What I'm hearing/seeing: I don't think this is a love confession from our demon. I think they are both well aware they love one another. They can't say it in so many words, and it's a secret from Heaven and Hell, but it's not a secret between them. I'm hearing Crowley set the scene. "The Metatron either wants us together in Heaven under control, or separated. I have things I have to do here or the plan won't work, so we'll have to separate. We need to make it look good. I do love you."
I don't think Aziraphale likes this change of plan. And Crowley can't detail why the plan has changed, not with the Metatron listening. So Aziraphale insists, come with me. The plan we had will work. Do it my way. Crowley says, "You can't leave this book shop." It's easy to interpret that as "You can't leave me," but I don't think it's that. He's saying something about the book shop being safe, or even that he can't leave without whatever they've hidden in the book shop. (I THINK THEY HID SOMETHING IN THE BOOK SHOP!) Aziraphale says, "Nothing lasts forever." I hear him saying the book shop is no longer safe, and they have to move/take whatever they've hidden and they can't speak freely there anymore.
Crowley replies, "No I suppose it doesn't. Good luck." He's gotten that much, but he is still set on his "We need to fake a break up because I can't go with you."
Aziraphale still doesn't like that. "Come back! I need you!" He's scared. Whatever he has to do in Heaven is big, and scary, and he needs and wants Crowley with him. He does not want to go into the mouth of danger alone.
This is when we get, "No nightingales." What I'm hearing? ESPECIALLY since if you listen, you can hear a LARK sing as Crowley goes out the door? It's the line from Romeo and Juliet, by Shakespeare, whose plays they both enjoy, though Crowley prefers the funny ones. "It's too late, that's a lark singing the dawn, not a nightingale singing to the night, we have to part. Our happy ending isn't yet."
Then the kiss. I do not believe this is their first kiss. I don't believe they've allowed themselves many, maybe not even more than one, but I do think they've kissed before. I'm not sure when, but I suspect 1941. (Season 3, come ON!!)
And when they part, Aziraphale stops himself from saying "I love you," and instead says, "I forgive you." I'm hearing so many things in that "I forgive you." I forgive you for leaving me on my own, I forgive you for hurting my feelings like this, I forgive you for changing the plan without telling me, I forgive you because you are forgivable whatever anyone else says, I forgive you because that's what I said when we split up at the bandstand and everything was okay in the end and I hope hope hope that everything will be okay in the end this time too.
Crowley says, "Don't bother." I'm hearing, "yeah, I hope it's all okay, too. Wish me fuckin luck. My part will be hard, too."
And as Crowley leaves, Aziraphale mouths, "No." And we hear a lark sing. A lark, singing to the dawn, and so fair Romeo must away.
Just because the break up is a ruse, doesn't mean it doesn't hurt and isn't hard. It has to look real, and so it's going to feel real, too. Ouch. :'(
And then Aziraphale touches his lips. Not once, but twice. My bad, he only touches his lips once. The first long second is pure emotion. "Why now, I hate this, I want that so badly and I can't have it."
After that, though --
After he pulls himself together a bit, he has a bulge in his cheek. He shifts his jaw to move whatever he has in his mouth to his lips, and then his first two fingers go stiff for a moment as he palms something right before he takes his hand away.
And then, this.
Edit to add: someone on Facebook asked me why a kiss to pass whatever Crowley gave to Aziraphale, why not palm it or drop it in his pocket?
My answers: 1. The kiss is a message. "We're still good, I still love you, I still want this." 2. The item is too important to be dropped in a pocket and hopefully found later. 3. The Metatron is paying WAY too close attention, and will definitely see them touch hands. Seeing a kiss and the angel rejecting the demon, though? Well, the demon forced that kiss on him, the angel didn't want it. Clearly the demon thinks this relationship is different than it is. It's a bigger gesture that sells the ruse. 4. Houdini's wife used to pass him the keys to his cuffs with a kiss before the show. This is a message that magic-loving Aziraphale WILL understand: here are the keys to your cuffs, sneaked to you by your beloved in plain sight.
That's it. That's what I got so far. I still have questions.
What did Crowley pass to Aziraphale? What's the plan? Why did it change? What does Crowley need to do that he can't go to Heaven again?
i went. insane. LOOK. i know a lot of people realllyyyy wanted crowley to be the wedding dress designer LOOK I KNOW AND ITS OK u can make ur own au i promise but in MY WORLD. you need to understand me.
crowley owning a vineyard is personal to me. he is THE snake in the garden of eden, tempting is his JOB ok. he makes wines aziraphale indulges in, aziraphale designs dresses with crowley in mind. do you hear me. are you listening to me. i have everything from the second they meet mapped out OK i know what im talking about. listen to my delusions, boy.
A pen sketch because Crowley definitely stole some books
(to make Aziraphale mad…not because he missed the smell)
They're everywhere.
Currently reading The Winter Soldier Cold Front. Bucky and Gimlet made reference to the Ritz and danced to A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square and I can't stop thinking about those tragic little gay men (not really) with their divorce with these references. I had physically get out out bed, walked a bit, and tab them. God, those two need to get back together and live happily ever after for mysake pls. Aziraphale can even do the damn 'I Was Wrong' dance.
Sad Crowley sketch 'cause I'm sad too :(
I think what I love most about Crowley’s character is how poetic and cyclical his story and struggle is.
It starts with him in heaven, an angel with a deep love and reverence for God and her creations, a love that he then pours into his work to bring Her vision of the stars to life. But just as he begun his work, he is given a message from God through Aziraphale that can be effectively summed up to “nothing lasts forever”. The physical manifestations of Crowley’s passion and love will be erased in, what is to an angel, a blink of the eye. For forever God has always been the designer and Crowley, as an angel, has always been there to simply carry out Her plans. But it is here that Crowley begins to question and strain this unspoken relationship, desiring change.
So despite being warned, Crowley dares to test his relationship with God and questions the unspoken, only to be rejected and abandoned by her in the most visceral way imaginable. It was here that Crowley began his fall.
As a demon, Crowley comes to love Aziraphale and, just as he did with God, he expresses this intense love through acts of service. He takes him out to eat, he saves him, he bends at every whim to keep him happy and safe, and yet nothing is ever explicitly said. Instead they dance around each other and communicate in code, and so Crowley is left to assume.
But then just as with God, Crowley pushes his luck and says too much, asks for too much. He questions the comfortable unspoken dance they’ve been doing for centuries and asks for something more. In response, Aziraphale parrots what he had said in the very beginning, except this time it’s his own words: “nothing lasts forever”. Not the stars, not the bookshop, not love.
So despite being warned, Crowley kisses Aziraphale, posing his most desperate question. In return, he is rejected and abandoned by Aziraphale in the most visceral way imaginable.
Aziraphale’s “I forgive you” is a very loaded response, and while it rings as an attempt to call back to his and Crowley’s old unspoken routine, it also reminds me a lot of God. Crowley falls in act of sin, and while God punished Crowley, She also forgives him for being a sinner because God forgives all sin. So Aziraphale forgives Crowley because again he has sinned. Again he has fallen.
At this point we realize Crowley did not just fall, that’s past tense. Rather, Crowley is falling. He continues to love, dares to show it, and thus suffers the consequences.
I look outside of my car window and I see someone in the park, sitting alone on one side of the bench, and I HATE MY BRAIN WTAF CROWLEY SITTING ALONE AND FEEDING DUCKS BC AZIRAPHALE LEFT????
me when "we could've been us."
Really love Ineffable Divorce from the perspective of the other shopkeepers... to them, one day, some gorgeous guy showed up naked on Mr. Fell's doorstep and a couple of days later, Mr. Fell had disappeared and so had the naked guy... so the whole neighborhood thinks Aziraphale ran off with Gabriel and that's why the bookshop is now being operated by this odd little person hired by its sad and distracted owner-- Mr. Fell's abandoned ginger goth husband with the gorgeous old car. Nothing has been this juicy on the street in decades...
An amount of time later…
And they lived happily ever after
This was brought to you by me trying to figure out my style a bit more
Why the fuck are all the songs in the world about these two idiots?!
My two cents (or a farthing) in putting together a breakup divorce temporary separation playlist for the ineffable husbands. I think Crowley and Aziraphale will both vehemently deny getting teary-eyed at some of the lyrics, or in Crowley's case bawling along drunk 'Sshtay with me-e-ee'.
I have faith that these angelic entities, who have been through so much together, will find each other stumbling through some major fuck ups and will end up together again. Holding hands at least. The playlist starts out with some serious heartache and pain and morphs more into hope and faith at the end. With a nightingale.
Music by: David Arnold, Brian Eno, John Cale, Archive, Michelle Gurevich, Shakespears Sister, Beck, Michael Kiwanuka, Chris Isaak, Karine Polwart, John Grant, Missy Higgings, The Irrepressibles, Daniel Lanois, Peggy Lee, Joseph Arthur, Angus & Julia Stone, Ane Brun, Ben Harper, Racoon, Ada, Hilda Gudnadottir, Cosmo Sheldrake
Neil is up to something
there is an excellent post (that I've blimming lost) about how Neil is very familiar with magic tricks but read this wonderful compilation of metas and you'll get the idea - NEW Crackpotting Theory Tracker
Magic plays a big part in Good Omens - and Neil is up to his own magic trick. Sendarya talked about how the kiss is a misdirection to the audience from what is actually happening
so let's get rid of the kiss (because I definitely find it distracting!) and let's look at what happens between Metatron and Aziraphale in 2x06
This is not an angel that wants to return to Heaven. He looks bored, like he doesn't even know why Metatron is there or why he's talking to HIM about who the next Supreme Archangel should be.
"Michael?" it's like he couldn't give less of a toss if he tried
he's just like hmm? yeah ok, super interesting, can i leave now
When Metatron suggests Azi should take over as Supreme Archangel, he looks horrified. this is not good news, at all.
Metatron tries to sweet talk him. You're so honest, such a good leader~
Azi isn't convinced.
"I've been looking back over a number of your... previous exploits, and I see that in quite a few of them you formed a-"
THAT EYE TWITCH
"-de facto partnership with the demon Crowley."
LOOK AT THIS REACTION. fear. worry. panic. guilt(?). we see that fight or flight response kick in - the eye movements, the swallow.
Can I point out, WE NEVER SEE AZI'S IMMEDIATE REACTION TO THIS OFFER. But I think we know that it's not a positive reaction - he knows what Crowley thinks of Heaven.
What we do see is the end of that conversation, and Azi is nervous and faking smiles. He is now agreeing to go along with Metatron's plan, even though the last time we saw him, he was completely resisting it. Something happened to cause this change.
It's very possible that Aziraphale has now made his own plan, but he has to make it seem like he's going along with Metatron's plan. The Metatron is very direct to Aziraphale that he knows about his relationship with Crowley, and as we know, Aziraphale is terrified of Crowley being destroyed. This was perceived as a threat to Crowley and possibly humanity, and Metatron's bombshell "the Second Coming" definitely extended that threat to humanity, which Azi is a fierce protector of.
"But what am I?" "You're just an angel who goes along with Heaven as far as you can."
This angel did not want to return to Heaven. This angel is essentially being held hostage and is trying to save the two things he loves most from complete and utter destruction.
Fell the Marvellous has saved Crowley before, in 1941, with a perfectly timed sleight of hand. Now this time he must save everything, with his own death-defying 'bullet catch'.
What Neil is up to, well. I don't think we'll know until we see it. A good magician never tells.
Just incorrect quotes
Metatron: I just ended a six thousand year relationship. Muriel: Oh, I’m so sorry. Are you okay? Metatron: Hm? Oh yeah, I’m fine. It wasn’t my relationship. *Aziraphael and Crowley arguing in the bookshop*