Int: William - Blog Posts
Cindy gave a small sigh, his reluctance to even hold her hand now made her heart ache and his words made her withdraw. She knew she wasn't the warmest person, not anymore, not with him. But it was Christmas and he was surprised she'd called? It broke her.
"What can I say? I'm a glutton for punishment."
William couldn't bring himself to explain - how he felt like a disappointment to his children. The distance had certainly grown, showing in how they had pulled away from each other. It had always been complicated, given how much time had spent away from them. He had loved them - did love them - but he knew he wasn't the man he had been before, a fact that embarrassed him more than anything.
When Cynthia took his hand, he didn't pull away from her, even if part of him wanted to. "Okay," he finally said. "It's just been a while since we've all been together. I don't want to make things difficult." He looked at her for a moment. "...I was surprised you even called."
Cynthia couldn't help but worry about him, she took the time to look at him properly, taking in the tired gaze, the uncertain words. It broke her heart more than the awkwardness. She wanted to ask if he was well, if someone was looking out for him. But she wouldn't, couldn't, she didn't know how she'd feel with either answer he could give.
"I wouldn't have asked if you weren't wanted Will, honestly. You're still their father I don't know why you act like they wouldn't want to see you," Cynthia said with a sigh before reaching across the table to take one of his hands. "Either way, I want to see you. That should be enough for them... They do know though. I made it clear that it'd be a family occasion."
Honestly, he hates this. Not Cynthia, of course - he could never hate her - but everything else. The way this feels like a business transaction, almost, after decades of marriage is what bothers him most. It's not that he doesn't understand why things are going this way - he has entirely too much awareness of it all, and how incredibly his fault it is.
Holding a cup of coffee between his hands, he looked at her, his bright blue eyes offset by dark circles beneath them. "Right. I guess that makes sense. They're all... grown now." He shrugged slightly, pausing a moment. "I should be able to. If you really want me to." That was the part that he felt the least sure of. "Do they know that you're asking me?"
@detbell
"Thank you for meeting with me Will," Although Cynthia and Will were divorced she still loved him, even if that didn't always come across very well due to her own stubborn bitterness. Meeting in a neutral place seemed to help and she gave him a small smile as she sat down at the table.
"I wanted to talk about Christmas, I've managed to get the brood to agree to come over all together for Christmas Eve, they're all busy on the day itself." That fact stung but she quickly brushed past it. "I want you to be there. If you can make it."