Irving Bailiff - Blog Posts
severance continues to get wilder. gretchen cheats on her husband with her husband; don't let her husband find out! ham-based throuple gets significantly more ominous. helena convinced mentioning local depressed alcoholic widower's dead wife by the wrong name is a surefire way to get him to need her carnally. somewhere markhelly is wasting company time getting freaky under a table. milchick beefs with child and paperclips.
severance really said they were gonna take the love square/triangle trope and make it so insane. NOBODY is doing it like them. gretchen has the opportunity to do the funniest thing ever. burt out here ominously setting up a ham-based throuple. helena wants that widower cookie sooo bad.
it's 2021. future me shows up and says that Zoolander is going to make the most peak tv show in the history of the world. i laugh. it is 2025. i am vomiting my guts out and digging my fingers into my eyes after woe's hollow and trojan horse. the hallucination of ben stiller that smiles down at me every time i break out into tears over markhelly and markgemma and irving and dylan and milchick demurely waves away my snotty, miserable gratitude for creating severance. i feverishly count the seconds till friday.
imagine you are a gay man in your 60s and you've been in the military most of your life so you've never been free to be yourself or to seek out people like you and as a result you're now elderly and alone and you've spent a lifetime betraying yourself and you've never been loved and you get experimental brain surgery to cope with this and then one day you learn that the innocent child version of yourself who knows nothing of your isolation or your sins fell in love with another man and the man he loved was killed for pursuing that relationship and then your other self is also killed presumably for the same reason but you meet the other version of the man he loved and he's married but he wants to get to know you and you don't know him but you have some inextricable connection, something is pulling you towards him and you know you shouldn't trust him but you do and you just don't want to be alone and his husband is kind of a dick so you follow that feeling and it leads you right into a trap he set for you and it turns out that he was just manipulating you all along, to make you let your guard down, and you fell for it because there's a part of you that wants to put your life in his hands and so you do and he takes you to a train station and tells you to get as far away from here as you possibly can, he's saving you perhaps even at the cost of his own life and you think maybe you weren't entirely wrong about trusting him so you tell him you want him and he doesn't deny he wants you back, you tell him you're ready to be loved by him and you don't even know what that means but you keep saying it over and over because it just feels right, like you've been waiting for this your whole life, and maybe you have, all you know is your life hangs in the balance but for the first time you're not afraid, and maybe his interest in you was under false pretenses but you don't care because there's a part of this that's real and you both know it, he doesn't let you kiss him but he lets you touch his face and stroke his cheek with your thumb and then you walk away and get on the train with your dog going to god knows where and as the tracks whisk you away into the great unknown and the dying light of a cold winter day paints your face you think maybe you have been loved all along. happened my friend irving bailiff
Oh how I love a Corporate Horror
You’re not ready for this edit
CAUSE THEY DONT KNOW THAT PETEYS DEAD NONE OF MDR KNOWS BUT NOW THAT MARKS REININTERGRATED HE (WILL) KNOW CAUSE THEY ALL JUST THINK THAT MAYBE HE’S HAVINGTHE TIME OF HIS LIFE IN FLORIDA BUT HES NOT HES DEAAAD. 😭. PETEY YOU WERE TAKEN TOO EARLY (this is in complete disregard to s2 ep4 but dude… that was a crazy episode)
Did anyone also think that it looks like Irving went to Heaven (lighting on the door/ heaven being leaving Lumon behind etc.) And Burt didn't. Again ......that severance didn't help him get in it
Sometimes I can't believe this is all really happening Sometimes I can't believe that I'm really sitting here Sometimes I tell myself, "This is not my beautiful stapler!" Sometimes I tell myself, "This is not my beautiful chair!"
Irving from Severance mwah you are such a silly
he's gay. he's a rebel. he's a spy. he likes opera. he's into metal. he paints. he's into stoicism. he drives. he wears a leather jacket. he's addicted to caffeine. he's an atheist. he's a dog person. he's waterboard-skilled. he's a bachelor. he's a hermit. he's severed. he's unemployed.
We need to stop sleeping on Burt and Irving THERE IS NO HETEROSEXUAL EXPLANATION FOR THEM-
Irving Bailiff + Seth Milchick + The Myth of Prometheus
irving b as the hierophant
did u guys know theres no canon cover of the compliance handbooks. that made this reslly fucking annoying and i took some autistic liberties
hii i remembered tumblr exists 💚 this is a series that i'm in the process of making long term, i have most of the characters assigned to a tarot card that i think fits them
i have more art in the vault to post but ill wait to not get shadowbanned. or something idk