[INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY]
Gojo stands at one end of a small table, leaning over a set of unorganized papers. Nine-year-old Megumi sits on the opposite side, arms crossed, his face a mixture of skepticism and confusion.
Gojo (slamming his hand on the table, leaning forward energetically): Okay, let’s review the plan! A block down the street, there’s a charming little French café called “Le Café du Jardin.” At the first outdoor table, there will be a beautiful lady named “Reader.” Reader visits the café every Sunday at exactly 3:30 PM to read and to drink herbal tea. She doesn’t know me—yet—but you, my dear Megumi, are going to help us become acquainted.
Megumi (frowning, leaning back slightly in his chair): Wait a second... If this “Reader” doesn’t know you, then… How exactly do you know her schedule?
Gojo (pausing):… That is not important.
He straightens up, gesturing with his hands.
Gojo (with a wide grin): What is important is that you’re going to help me get her cell phone number.
Megumi (raising an eyebrow skeptically): And how exactly am I supposed to do that?
Gojo (clapping his hands together): Simple! Just repeat what is written in this script. You’re going to walk up to Reader and say…
He gestures at Megumi expectantly.
Megumi (dryly, deadpan): Hello, Miss Reader. I think my guardian is stalking you. He says he’ll force me to sleep in the streets until I bring him your cell phone number.
Gojo (becoming frustrated): Nooo! Absolutely not! You ran away from home because you didn’t want to eat your damn vegetables and got lost! Come on Megumi, I spent all night working on this!
Megumi (pauses to read Gojo’s notes): You actually put effort into writing this rubbish? I think I prefer to spend my day off playing outside.
Megumi gets up to leave but Gojo quickly moves to block the door with his body. Gojo kneels down to Megumi's height and places a hand on Megumi's shoulder .
Gojo (pauses for a moment then begins to speak in an overly sweet tone): You know Megumi… In some countries, children are visited by a magical fairy that will leave them gifts in exchange for their baby teeth. Sometimes when children help out their mommies and daddies, the fairy will reward them with extra gifts! If you help me out, I’m sure the fairy will reward you with ¥500 !
Megumi: … I don’t know if I should be more offended by; that you think that I’m dumb enough to believe in the Tooth Fairy, or that I can be bought with just ¥500.
Gojo: Oh come on Megumi can’t you help me out please? I’ll pay you ¥5,000 for your trouble.
Megumi: You better make it ¥10,000.
Gojo (Starting to get frustrated): Seriously?! I let you live here for free! You should want to help out of gratitude! You know what? Maybe I should make you sleep outside!
Megumi: Fine! I'll just go camping in the backyard until CPS arrives!
Gojo (Rubs his temples in annoyance): Dear God why do you have to make this so difficult? How about I pay you…. ¥7,500 and I let you stay up past your bedtime for a whole week?
Megumi: ….. Fine, I'll do it for ¥7,500! So I go up to this girl named Reader and then what?
Gojo: Then you’re going to ask Reader if you can use her cell phone to call your amazing uncle Satoru. While you’re waiting for me to arrive, you’ll casually tell her how incredibly attractive I am.
Megumi (Looking him up and down): You’re attractive? I’m not sure I follow…
Gojo: Of course I’m attractive! I’m tall, handsome, rich, mature, virtuous, and incredibly humble. Oh, and don’t forget to mention that I’m single!
Megumi (deadpan, tilting his head slightly): Well, I’ll give you “tall,” but I’m not so sure about being humble or virtuous…
Gojo (slightly offended): What are you talking about? I’m practically a saint!
Megumi (narrowing his eyes): Right…. Except last month you killed a guy for scratching your car and then drew dicks on his face. Last week you change the men's and women's bathroom signs... Then there was that time you went into angry drunken rage over not being able to nominate yourself for a Nobel Peace Prize….
Gojo freezes, his confident grin faltering. He squints suspiciously at Megumi.
Gojo : … And you are not going to mention a single word of that to anyone especially to Reader!
Megumi glances out the window, ignoring Gojo’s theatrics.
Megumi (dryly): It looks like it’s going to rain. Can I at least have an umbrella?
Gojo (waving him off, shaking his head): No, no, no! You’ll look more sympathetic if you’re wet.
He pauses, tapping his chin thoughtfully.
Gojo (suddenly inspired and snapping his fingers): Actually, let’s rub some hot sauce in your eyes to make you cry! It’ll make you look more pitiful!
Megumi stares at him, utterly unamused. He leans forward, resting his head in his hands.
[EXT. LE CAFÉ DU JARDIN – LATE AFTERNOON]
The busy sounds of the street quiet down a bit as Megumi walks up to a small, picturesque café. He stops at an outdoor table where a young woman, Reader, is engrossed in a book. A hot cup of tea sits next to her. Megumi pauses for a moment, then lightly tugs on her sleeve.
Megumi (quietly, almost timidly): Excuse me, Miss…
Reader looks up from her book, her gaze soft but curious.
Reader (smiling kindly): Yes?
Megumi (looking down slightly, his voice steady but polite): Can I please borrow your phone? I need to call for a ride home.
Reader’s expression softens even more. Without hesitation, she picks up her phone and hands it to him.
Reader (warmly): Of course.
Megumi takes the phone, glancing up at her briefly before dialing. His expression is calm, but there’s a flicker of guilt in his eyes. As he presses the call button, he meets her gaze directly.
Megumi (sincerely, voice low): I just want to say beforehand, I’m really sorry that I have to drag you into this.
Reader looks slightly confused. The phone barely rings once when—
Gojo (practically materializing out of thin air, loudly and dramatically): Fushiuro-chan!!!!
Reader jumps slightly in her seat as Gojo rushes up, arms outstretched. He picks up Megumi in a constrictive hug and begins spinning the small boy in circles.
Gojo (buries his face into Megumi’s hair): I’ve been so worried about you! You should know better than to run away like that.
Megumi (gasping for air and trying to break hold of Gojo’s hold.): Can’t breathe!
Gojo pretends to just notice the reader and carelessly drops Megumi on the ground. He straightens up, bowing slightly toward Reader with an apologetic look that’s more charming than sincere. Megumi starts gasping noisily for air. Reader looks a little startled but doesn't say anything.
Gojo: Thank you so much for watching over him, Miss! I hope my boy hasn’t caused you any trouble.
Reader: Oh, not at all. He’s been very polite.
Gojo (looking overly emotional): You’re too kind! Let me introduce myself—my name is Gojo Satoru, and this is my ward, Megumi Fushiguro.
Reader (hesitates for a moment, then shakes his hand): It’s nice to meet you.
Gojo doesn't let go of the reader's hand and instead interlaces his fingers with hers.
Gojo (voice dropping to a sympathetic tone): Thank you for being so understanding. I’ve recently adopted Megumi-kun after he was abandoned by his abusive father.
Megumi (frowning): But I have never been abu—
Before Megumi can finish, Gojo kicks Megumi's shin.
Megumi (winces, staggering slightly as his eyes begin to water from the pain): …!
Reader untangles her hand from Gojo and stares at Megumi with a look of concern. Gojo quickly swoops in, wrapping an arm around Megumi’s shoulders as if to comfort him.
Gojo (gently wipes away Megumi’s tears): It’s okay Fushiguro-chan. You don’t have to hold back your emotions anymore.
Megumi freezes, his eyes narrowing dangerously as Gojo leans in closer.
Gojo (voice voice dripping with fake sympathy): Do you remember what your therapist said? It’s okay to cry!
Megumi’s eyebrow twitches, his face a mixture of pain, anger, and annoyance. Reader watches the interaction, looking torn between sympathy and confusion.
Reader (softly): I … didn’t realize you were going through so much, Fushiguro-chan.
Megumi (gritting his teeth, barely keeping his composure): I’m fine.
Gojo (starts aggressively ruffling Megumi’s hair and smiles at the reader): Isn’t he brave? I’m just so proud of him.
Reader smiles back awkwardly.
Gojo (lowering his voice, feigning deep compassion): Shhh… I know you’re still trying to cope with your deadbeat father trying to sell you after your mom tragically passed away.
Reader’s eyes widen slightly, and she leans forward, visibly shocked. Gojo continues, unbothered.
Gojo (earnestly, with a hint of dramatic flair): Just because your father didn’t want you doesn’t mean you aren’t loved! I care about you, and I know you’re nothing like your father. Your father was a jerk. He deserved to die in that explosion. But don’t worry! I’m doing my best to be the father figure you need.
Megumi’s jaw clenches as he stares at Gojo, practically vibrating with restrained irritation. Gojo ignores Megumi and gazes wistfully at the reader.
Gojo: And maybe, one day, I’ll fall in love with a kind lady who can be the motherly figure you deserve.
Megumi (gritting his teeth, voice sharp): Why do you feel the need to share my personal life with others?!
Megumi looks like he’s about to explode, but before he can, Reader gently pats his back. Her touch is light and hesitant but kind.
Reader (softly) : It’s okay, Fushiguro-chan.
Gojo (earnestly): Fushiguro-chan is not a bad child, I swear! It’s just that he’s been through so much… Living on the streets for so long has left him traumatized. Poor Fushiguro-chan is such a sweet and well-behaved kid, but sometimes he forgets that he now has a loving home. I’m doing the best I can to raise him as a single parent, but there’s only so much I can do as a humble bachelor. It’s only thanks to kind-hearted angels like you that he has any hope left for humanity. Please… let me take you out to dinner tonight to thank you for saving my poor boy!
Reader looks surprised, glancing between Gojo and Megumi.
Megumi (calmly): Am I invited to this dinner as well?
Gojo deadpans at him.
Gojo: No. I only made a reservation for two people.
Megumi (sighing): Fine. But how am I supposed to get home? I’m lost, remember?
Gojo: Oh, yeah I almost forgot about that....
Gojo starts digging through his pockets, pulling out random coins and counting them in his palm.
Gojo: Let’s see… okay, here’s ¥155. There’s a bus station about five blocks south of here that you can take to get home. There are leftovers in the fridge and don’t stay up too late.
Megumi (staring at the coins, unimpressed): Hey wait a moment, where’s the other ¥7,345?
Reader: If money is the problem, I have no issue with giving Fushiguro-kun a ride home. Also there is no need to treat me to dinner.
Gojo: Oh don’t worry about Fushiguru-kun. Earlier today I was telling Fushiguro-kun that the tooth fairy often leaves money to boys and girls who are extra good.
Megumi and Gojo make eye contact with each other as a silent agreement is made between the two of them.
Megumi (Starts to walk away): Actually I just remembered how to get home from here. Also don’t worry about Gojo Miss Reader. He can be eccentric at times but he’s harmless…
Gojo: Make sure to brush your teeth and don’t stay up too late! Anyhow there is an upscale restaurant that just opened up and … *continues to babble*
Reader starts to tune out Gojo and a chuckle escapes her lips as can’t help but feel entertained with the events that just unfolded in front of her. A small grin forms on Gojo’s face, satisfied with his plan’s outcome.
Note from the author: I just wanted to say thank you for taking the time to read my little creation. This short story was originally inspired by the Gojo x reader story “Trouville Limerence,” by the Tumblr user pthalogreenwriter (hopefully they will log back into their account one day and read this!) I originally wrote this I wanted to encourage them to continue writing their story so I created a parody script of the events that could potentially happen after their third chapter. I was having so much fun writing the parody, that I decided to turn it into a short story. If this short gains enough attention, I might repost the story later on in a properly written story format. I also want to extend a special thanks to Bella @izabella_ray and Athena M @arriane_li from Fiverr for helping me edit my script and to anyone else who gave me feedback!