( Joel Miller Ic ) - Blog Posts

" Not anymore maybe, but plenty of foods were pink before all this - all sorts of colours, especially sweet stuff, " Joel rolls his eyes, resisting the way his lips twitch, resisting the urge to grin. As reluctantly as he'd taken on protecting the kid, she was ( begrudgingly ) starting to grow on him.

And if the eager way she inhaled half the pot in one go was anything to go by, food was one way to make their journey a little more bearable. It leaves a twinge in his heart, reminds him of Sarah, of how she loved strawberry–

Nope. Wasn't going down that rabbit hole. Not here, not now.

Joel glances back at Ellie, noticing the pot being held near him. He nudges it back to her. " I'm not really a sweet person, you have it kid. " After all, he had to admit she'd earned it. Ellie was more adept than he'd given her credit for.

"Im not judging!" She defended taking the pudding cup that Joel had offered gingerly and poking at it with the spoon.

"Its just that most food isn't naturally pink and this looks-" she stopped short and tried a bite of the strawberry pudding thinking it over before trying another bite. and of course she had questions.

"And you had this stuff just lying around before everything went to shit? Was it like expensive? It tastes like it would be. What's it made out of?"

She offered Joel some because she had gotten used to splitting everything with him.

The thought of Ellie cutting his hair nearly gave Joel a heart attack – as much as loved cared for her, he would not trust that girl with scissors. Especially not near his head. Probably end up losing an eye or being bald, and he didn't know which was worse. Shaving wasn't exactly reassuring either, but not as much could go wrong there.

" I'm still handsome then ? " Joel jokes, raising his eyebrows as much as he could. It was more for her benefit than his, wanting to push through the pain and make this all seem less scary for her. It wasn't like a simple stab wound this time – he'd been beaten, his kneecap broken, stabbed in the neck... by all accounts, Joel should've died in that cabin.

Somehow he didn't. Somehow Ellie managed to get him, and a terrified disoriented Dina, back to Jackson. God, his kid was a force of nature. Joel couldn't be more proud, even with the fog of the painkillers pumping through his system. Thank fuck the girl... Anna? Andy? Abby? Yeah, Abby sounded familiar. Thank fuck she hadn't given Ellie the same treatment.

Despite all common sense screaming not to, Ellie's words cause Joel to give his leg an experimental shift. The sharp agony that shoots through his kneecap and down his leg make him hiss, face scrunching in discomfort. " Yep. Hurts like a bitch, " he wheezes in confirmation. Honestly, what else did he expect? The painkillers were good but they weren't miracle workers.

Her question prompts an internal assessment of his body. Other leg, while stiff, was pain free. All ten fingers could twitch, as far as he was aware. An attempt to turn his head was cut short at the tugging of stitches - a pleasant reminder that he very nearly didn't make it out alive.

" I'm good, kiddo. Most of me's workin', and if I've still got my good looks then we have nothin' to worry about, right? " Joel reassures her, shifting his hand so he could squeeze hers in return. " Just might be outta commission a lil' while longer... head hurts a ton, but eyes and ears are the same. "

He nearly makes a joke about Ellie being a nurse, but the fingers running through his hair distract him. He blinks away the exhaustion that tugs at him from the soothing motion. Injuries be damned, he refused to cut this time with Ellie short.

" What about you? She didn't hurt you or anythin' right? Or Dina? How'd you get us back here? " The questions blur together, whatever meds they had given him sapping away his usual verbal filter, much to his chagrin.

"Oh, I'm great," she answers sarcastically, "Catching up on my reading. You know me." He looks so injured. There is no other way to express it, because even the first time he was dying around her he didn't look so roughed up, so beaten, yet when he looks at her now he looks ten times better than back then. There is a light in his eye, like the fact that she's there means he's okay. Fucking Joel, she's mad at him because she can't be mad at him. But she gets it, she does. He's the first person who didn't leave her, and he keeps not leaving her, and normally that would be enough for her to be alright, if only the moment when Abby had stabbed him wasn't burned into her retinas, if only she didn't see him die every time she closed her eyes.

"I cut your hair. Nah, I'm kidding. I helped a nurse shave you and I shaved you once... Had to make sure you didn't look too terrible when you woke up. Don't wanna scare Dina. I kept the Joel-look." She can't ask if he's alright, she knows he can't be - or at least, not any more than pain killers can allow him to be, but she has so many questions about Abby. She needs to know before she goes to get her. "Your knee is gonna hurt like a bitch to fix, but you are out of danger, by the way. Doctors said you'll live. Obviously." She's not always touchy-feely, but in this case she feels it's justified, to carefully brush his hair with her hand, a comforting move to clash with her forced carefree tone. "But... does everything work? Can you still feel everything, can you see and hear the normal way? 'cause... I don't know how much you remember but you took some hits."

@hexlegends ; "What am I about to put in my mouth?" Ellie said suspiciously as Joel had handed her something to try.

It was something he'd found at Bill's, tucked in the back of a kitchen cupboard like it'd been forgotten about. A pack of assorted puddings ; chocolate, vanilla, strawberry... the classics. Whilst Ellie had been showering, he'd checked over the packaging ( non-perishable, perfect ) and shoved them in his backpack before she could emerge.

Something told him that the teen hadn't ever experienced proper sweet foods, cakes and puddings that weren't made with bare bones ingredients or had long since gone stale. So, when their short break for gas had came to an end, Joel had pulled one of the pudding cups out of his bag. Ripped off the lid to hide the name, dug out one of the spoons he'd also taken from Bill's kitchen and shoved it into the pudding before handing it to Ellie. The teen was getting bored with their travelling already - maybe the food would keep her quiet for a while.

" Just eat it, " Joel busies himself with pulling away from the side of the road, if only to stop himself from watching for her reaction like a hawk. " Don't judge it before you try it, unless you're afraid of flavour. "

The residents of Jackson were certainly nice. So willing to help strangers, to accept refugees even with the risks that came alongside accepting people you don't know. They'd taken in Joel and Ellie, more than once. Gave them clothes, a home, food - gave Ellie the first taste she'd have of a normal life. No wonder Tommy had settled there, had decided to start a family. It was the closest to normal they'd ever get again.

" For a lot of these people, acting normal is coping. Everyone deals with things in... different ways, and most people aren't built for what this world demands. " Just because the world as you know it ends, doesn't mean people magically become violent, become killers. Most who do are only like it because something made them that way... Joel included.

He didn't know what happened to Hannah, that was something for the teen to share in her own time, on her own terms. But he did know that it likely wasn't easy for her. Hell, even Ellie had struggled for a while when they first came back to Jackson, reeling in the aftermath of whatever that asshole tried to do to her, and then with the loss of the fireflies.

" Tommy helped because he's a big softie at heart. He likes people, gets on with them. Wants to help everyone he can, " Joel's gaze travels, spotting said brother in the distance. Chatting away with a group of residents, laughing and smiling in that easy way he always had. Joel felt a twinge in his heart.

" Besides, he likes you. That helps. I can't speak for other people, but this world is... people want to help or hurt others, doesn't seem to be an inbetween anymore. But at least here there only seems to be help.. better than the world out there." Joel gestures towards the large walls.

" You're right though, Jury's still out on the cult thing. Guess we'll have to wait and see." His lips twitch, the closest thing to a smile Joel had offered anyone but Ellie or Tommy in a long time.

Oh, Joel knows what he's talking about, Hannah has heard enough - whispers and implied words alike - to never doubt Joel and Tommy have seen some crazy things in their lives and have had plenty of time to both react and, maybe, recover. She hums thoughtfully, considering his words and trying to feel comforted by them. "Everybody is being so nice to me here... It makes me feel a little crazy, like I'm all scared for nothing," she admits, crossing her arms to hug her chest, shield herself from the awkwardness, "I never thought I'd be around normal people again, you know? I just... expected to be dead by now, easy." It was almost easier, emotionally, to deal with being alone in the wilderness: at least there she knew how to feel and she felt that way most of the time. Here it was one surprise after another.

"I don't understand why Tommy helped me. What he gets out of it. I always meet people who either save me or want to slaughter me and there is no in between, and I don't understand." And that's kind of her big problem here, isn't it? Because trusting people led her there in the first place. Same as not understanding people before they show their true colors. "I'm still not sure this isn't a cult or something. I'm only giving it the benefit of the doubt because of Ellie."

Waking was strange. A sensation reminiscent of emerging from murky waters, his vision slowly shifting from darkness, to blurry muddled shapes. His hearing, already beaten over the years, was muffled for a moment. Made it impossible to pinpoint the distant footsteps until they were right by his ear – his good ear, like the person knew his left one worked better.

Their voice, achingly familiar, pulled Joel upwards out of the murky waters his body had been trapped within. He could still hear Ellie's distant cries, the sound of the golf club –

No. This wasn't that cold hard floor, the surface underneath him was soft and warm. He couldn't hear shouting or crying, only... Ellie. With a pained exhale, Joel forced his eyes fully open. As his vision cleared, brown hair and worried eyes came into view. The gentle squeeze to his hand was a notable contrast to the slight bite of her words, and the man's lips twitched upwards.

" Hey kiddo, " Joel's voice is tired, croaky. The movement tugs on his healing cuts and bruises, but the ache clears his mind. Let him focus on his daughter Ellie. He longs to reach out, to comfort the teen, but his limbs are all heavy and disconnected. Won't cooperate yet.

" Sorry to scare you.. just needed some rest, that's all. Are... are you alright? " It was easy to forget that he was the one in the hospital bed, concern for her consuming him.

He didn't know much, remembered hearing someone mention that he'd been unconscious for a long while – and his heart ached that he'd left Ellie alone for that long, had missed so much. Joel knew Ellie well enough to know chances were she'd done something reckless - but whether she'd tell him was a different story.

@fracturals x Joel from this Ellie

It takes all she has not to start crying when she's finally allowed to see Joel, the doctors baffled but done with all their tests; he's a beast, obviously, she knew he'd wake up. She knew. It's why she refused to go sleep at home - but of course he woke up while she was in the bathroom - and why she's still there in Jackson, she had to see him with her own eyes. Because he had to. He had to. "That was one f.ucking way to make me forgive you, Joel," her voice shakes, she can't help it. Okay, she wasn't completely sure he'd wake up, but he had to, right? Where would she be now if he hadn't? Ellie holds onto one of those little pieces of his body that isn't broken, and squeezes it gently. "You took way too long to wake up. Waaay too long, you a.sshole." He's actually going to live, so he doesn't get sweet words from her, no sir. There's no better way to let him know they are cool and that he'll be fine, if you ask her.

When he found Tommy again, the last thing Joel expected was for his brother to have a teenage stray of his own by his side. It had shocked him, sure, but it also made his situation with Ellie seem less strange. The girl, Hannah, was clearly going through some shit – it was far too familiar. Joel remembered having the same dark disposition for a hell of a long time after losing Sarah.

Hell, if it weren't for Ellie he'd still be like it now. But she'd managed to slip under the barricades he'd spent years forming, become as close to a daughter as another child ever could. It would be impossible to ever replace Sarah, but Ellie had carved a place next to her in his heart

He was glad that, hopefully, Ellie and Tommy could do the same for Hannah. Joel knew they'd be good for her - and him? Well, he'd probably be better off supporting from the sidelines.

" I know how you feel, kid. " It's easy to admit, his voice soft. Just for her, a private conversation. " It doesn't feel right - how at ease everyone is. Like they don't know what's out there. " It was all a big game of pretend, the man knew that. Behind big walls and lacking weapons, it was easy to pretend things were different. That the world hadn't ended, that infected weren't roaming outside, and that the people out there weren't WORSE.

" If you ask me, I don't think you have anything to worry about. Your body's survival instincts will wake you up - comfortable or not, we can sense danger, " Joel turns to look at Hannah, aware this was the closest he'd ever stood to the girl. It was certainly a sense of discomfort for the both of them, neither were eager to let people close. He shifts slightly, creating a little more of a gap as subtly as could.

@fracturals asked: ❛ can’t sleep? ❜ ( joel )

"Too much noise. People here aren't scared enough." She knows it's a weird answer the moment it comes out of her mouth; she hasn't been in Jackson long, but it has been enough to start reminding her of what it's like to be among regular people and how most of them, while careful about infected, don't have to live in fear every second of the day here. She was like that, once. Now it feels weird to sleep too many hours straight. It feels weird that she didn't pull a gun on Joel just because he came too close - she almost did, she always touches her knife or whatever weapon she has when someone besides Ellie does. But she's getting a bit used to him, at least. Something about this man feels safe - same with Tommy. Not creepy at all. "I keep thinking... if I get used to... to the noises and I sleep through them... some day a bite will wake me up. I won't be here forever, I can't... I can't get comfortable."