Jonathan.txt - Blog Posts

09/30/2022

Back into the office with me. I had one day to work at my own desk, and it was lovely--albeit loud, due to the dogs. But now, finally, I get to rest for the weekend.

Tomorrow, I'm going to bake, I am going to write, I am going to rest, and I will not take the opportunity to do any chore that would make me feel tired and need to return to bed. I will begin my morning by showering, then taking care of my skin and hair, dressing then making a lovely breakfast and preparing for dinner. I will make a light lunch, then decide what I want to bake.

I have been craving fresh rustic bread. However, I have also been craving something sweet--something with almond. Despite all of my baking endeavors, I have never successfully made a macaron! I would love to achieve the perfect marsala chai macaron. I will have to gauge my energy tomorrow afternoon.

Jonathan is feeling better, though not back to 100%. Julian is coming back to the house tomorrow.

I have a week left to go before I am safe to leave. I hope I make it through in one piece.

09/28/2022

We have a tiny victory! I finally convinced my supervisor that I should be allowed to work from home while I am very ill.

I had some congee today--i'd made up a couple of onsen eggs and put them in a bowl to crack over it for breakfast, but apparently my sister thought I'd simply forgot to put them back in the carton. Unsure of which eggs were mine, I didn't take any, and she had a surprise when she tried to make french toast this morning. (Serves her right!)

My throat hurts less, which is good, but I'm coughing more, which is less good. My voice is even weaker than it was before.

Jonathan may need migraine glasses long-term. Their photophobia and migraines aren't going away. I've found a few that would be good, but I really need to get home to them soon. As soon as I'm better, I want to catch the next ticket to the road. I need to be in the best shape I can be, but I can't wait too long if it means the love of my life can't function.

They're so lonely without me. I miss them too. I want to be there. I need to be there. I'm so tired here.

As soon as I enter the road, I have 2 weeks to get to my destination or risk being lost forever. I can live that way, but I can't leave Jonathan on their own.

I can make it. I have to make it.

09/26/2022

ah... I've been neglectful. Hello, readers.

I am back at my desk. I have spent the past several days trapped in my bed again, shifting in and out of consciousness. I have taken ill. My father came down with it a few days past, and I was foolish enough to believe that if I locked myself in my room, it would pass me over.

Not so! I am absolutely miserable. My throat is swollen and on fire. My chest has begun to hurt. I am so frail already, and Cruel Fate has taken it upon herself to make my life even harder. Mm.

I went to the doctor yesterday to confirm my diagnosis, and she was... really something. She told me that there really are other illnesses out there, still, other than the crawling mist, and made me feel really quite stupid. Then, a few hours later, her receptionist called me to apologize--that the doctor had never actually looked at my test results, and had simply assumed I was looking for attention.

Well.

My supervisor is working from home today. He seemed to think that I should be fine to work in the office, despite the fact that I barely have a voice with which to speak.

I've gotten to speak with Jonathan a bit more. We got to talk for a whole 20 minutes yesterday when I got my test results--I could barely breathe, they were very kind with me. Their head is feeling a bit better.

The road will have to wait a few days more, unfortunately. Gracie has been very helpful. I found and washed her favorite pillow, and she has been cuddled up beside me in bed. I will share a picture later.

I have barely been able to eat today. I made myself a bowl of rice with furikake, but it tasted every oddly of wood, so I threw the entire thing away. Hoping I don't pass out at my desk.

09/23/2022

I spent a few hours talking to Basil about my upcoming trip.

It's all very difficult. I know Gracie will be very unhappy as we go. I've already packed a good amount of food, but I don't know if it will be enough. I don't know if the accommodations I've made for her will be enough.

The hardest part, of course, will be concealing it. this isn't a small undertaking. This is a long journey, and while I could manage it with help, or, at least, in broad daylight, it becomes nearly impossible under the current circumstances.

I need to reorganize my bags so I can take fewer of them. I need to be able to carry everything on my back.

I have my clothing. I have Gracie's supplies. I have my documents for when I get there. I have my weapon. I have my map. I need more protective garments, and I need smokes. I can work on that. I can get that.

Then I need my ticket to the entrance. That's the hardest part. That's the part that means this is happening. That's the part that means I can't go back.

God save me. I'm so afraid. I know it's worth it. I need to keep Jonathan safe. But God, it hurts so badly. It's so difficult. I hope I can purchase the ticket tonight. The road is waiting.

09/23/2022

i am so incredibly tired. a man shouted at me over the phone for the longest time.

Jonathan went to sleep without calling last night. Good. I'm worried about them--the migraine isn't getting better. Julian has left. I'm... not happy with him right now. I don't know how much of that is me resenting the fact that they are currently taking up the space that should be mine and have done such a poor job of doing it, and how much is legitimate grievance.

I'm trying to figure out how to leave without getting killed for it. I want to be able to take care of Jonathan, but I can't be of help to anyone if I'm dead on the side of the road.

Even in the best case scenario, I'm going to be broken for a while. The road between worlds is... long, at best, and deadly, at worst. And I will be vulnerable for a lot of it.

I will try to keep myself together on the way home. Then I will try to make my decision.

09/22/2022

I made my apple galette. I was going to make the butternut squash soup, but my sister told me that nobody would want to eat it. I thought this would be fine, and I could just make it for myself--we're all adults, after all--and then my mom told me that all of the food I make is strange and odd anyways.

To be clear, the "strange and odd" food is... miso soup, soft boiled eggs over rice, lamb chops, homemade pita and hummus... essentially, anything that isn't meat and potatoes--and even then, only beef and chicken. All of this is very funny coming from the woman who doesn't know what sugar is.

Anyways. The galette was lovely. The chicken and rice soup was also quite nice. It wasn't what I wanted, but I'll make the soup tomorrow. Anyone that has a problem with it can make their own food. Besides--I have someone who will be more than happy to eat something other than meat and potatoes.

I got to talk to Jonathan, even if only for a couple of minutes. They were able to go out and do things in the light for a little bit, but were headed back to bed. I told them to rest, and that I would send them food if they so wished.

With the rain rolling in, my body feels like it's on the verge of collapsing. My joints are all stiff and brittle. I'm going to take a shower, and hope that the warm water soothes my bones. Jonathan said we could talk later. I hope they fall back asleep and don't call--they need the rest--but I miss them so dearly. I think I will leave my parents' house soon.